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Posted: 10/8/2004 10:15:17 PM EST
Man attempts to rob stores with sticks


Thu Oct 7, 6:24 PM ET Crimes and Trials - Court TV

By Tinuola Awopetu, Court TV

(Court TV) — Authorities in San Antonio, Texas are taking Ralph Cortez's alleged robbery attempt seriously, even if his victims did not.

The 35-year-old man is accused of trying to hold up a grocery store and a beauty salon using two sticks.

According to a police report, Cortez allegedly entered the grocery store wielding two sticks and covering the lower half of his face with his shirt on Sept. 29. He then waved his sticks at the cashier and asked for money.

But the cashier and customers who witnessed the attempted stickup laughed at Cortez.

The cashier told Cortez that he had a stick of his own. He grabbed a nearby stick and waved it at Cortez, who fled the store. The cashier called police, who got a description of Cortez from the store's surveillance camera.

Police spokesperson Officer Joe Rios said when the would-be thief left the grocery store, he took his stick-wielding act to a beauty salon on the same street. He did not fare any better there.

When a salon employee told Cortez that she had no money to give him, he allegedly began hitting the cash register with the sticks. The police report said the hapless robber stopped his assault on the machine only after the woman gave him two dollars that she had on the counter.

Police arrested Cortez in a nearby alley minutes after the incident. They also recovered his weapons and the two dollars.

Cortez is being held in the Bexar County jail on $100,000 bond.



I'm just speechless...

I guess letting the AWB expire may have been a mistake after all...
Link Posted: 10/8/2004 10:18:41 PM EST
Oh man.... I'm in tears.

"The cashier told Cortez that he had a stick of his own. He grabbed a nearby stick and waved it at Cortez, who fled the store"


Link Posted: 10/8/2004 10:20:38 PM EST
I imagine the cashier picking up one of those plastic bars that divide different peoples groceries on the conveyer belt and waving it at him.
Link Posted: 10/8/2004 10:24:18 PM EST
His obvious mistake was using a non-evil stick , No bayo lug and FH .
Link Posted: 10/8/2004 11:30:21 PM EST
No shit a guy walked into a convenice store with a 2X4X3 and told the clerk this is a stick up!

The clerk laughted and the guy began to beat the shit out ouf him!

The clerk gave up and gave him the money in the till,and as he was leaving said here let give you this check buy yourself a gun before you hurt somebody!!!


Bob
Link Posted: 10/8/2004 11:35:02 PM EST
i think he used no ban sticks
Link Posted: 10/8/2004 11:42:06 PM EST
Well if President Bush had extended the Assault Stick Ban this kind of stuff would never happen......oh, wait, that was the Assault Weapons Ban......never mind.
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 12:56:09 AM EST
Gives a whole new meaning to the word STICK-up!
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 2:33:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2004 2:34:05 AM EST by TheSelecter]
the clerk should have back slapped him with his shlong
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 2:40:41 AM EST
"Wann buy some wood?"
Link Posted: 10/9/2004 2:43:32 AM EST
Ban sticks....

It's for the children...
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