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Posted: 11/2/2009 2:51:07 PM EST
Never tried this obviously, but I did have a friend that dabbled in it a few years ago but I didn't pay much attention. Since being divorced, and getting a new GF..this has made me think - I may have come across a loophole to the entire bullshit 'dating' system.

I am going off of what I've heard, so, lets start with this:

- You know that 95% of them are doing it to solely obtain a greencard
- You know that YOU are doing it for pretty much an instant trophy wife
- You 'meet' them online though various sites, exchange emails, phone calls, etc and maybe they want to come and see you
- ???? pays for the ticket and they come over (or you go there?) to check each other out
- She comes here and lives with you
- Eventually you get married, and you apply for a green card/citizenship/whatever for her

Now, how much does all of this run? I was curious, because here is my school of thought:

- Citizenship takes what, 2+ years to obtain? Maybe even longer if you drag your feet (i.e. slightly sabotage the entire process, lose paperwork, etc)
- She is REQUIRED to stay with you or she gets deported
- She is Russian, HOT, and thinks that the smallest 'luxury' you have is fucking amazing

So generally, she stays with you as Ms. Trophy wife...and you get her to cook, clean, pick up your dry cleaning in her 4" stripper heels and look fucking hot 24/7. She doesn't abide by this..she goes back and she knows it. Obviously, you keep her off your bank accounts and are fiscally smart (i.e. she is on NOTHING, and you check your State laws so she couldn't get smart and do an end around).

Now here is the real question:

Economically, what would it cost to date such an Americanized hottie (or any women for that matter) during this 2+ years of time? What amount of utter fucking batshit crazy bullshit would you have to endure during the same period of time?

COMPARE THIS TO

What's the Russian hottie 'cost' as far as fees/travel and whatever is involved in the process?

When it's close to her being 'legal' send her home. Rinse/repeat and upgrade to a younger model.

I think I maybe on to something here. What am I missing?
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:52:48 PM EST
Your kidneys...

Watch them carefully.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:53:42 PM EST
A small part of your soul perhaps?
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:54:43 PM EST
Originally Posted By Predator458:
A small part of your soul perhaps?


Long gone.

So where are the holes in my diabolical plan?
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:56:14 PM EST
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:56:37 PM EST
sounds good to me.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:57:08 PM EST
Just don't fall in love.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:58:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By Silence:
Your kidneys...

Watch them carefully.


Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:58:40 PM EST
Dunno how it is over there, but in Australia, all the mail-order brides would claim sexual abuse, divorce, and be issued protection visas and take half your money...

If you want to meet a foreign woman, go to a foreign country and do it properly.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 2:59:23 PM EST
Go to blockbuster and rent "The Birthday Girl".
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:01:23 PM EST
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:01:55 PM EST
Most of the reputable places make you go to the country to meet the girls first.

Really, there is no need to even marry her. She'll move in for a few months and hope you decide to marry her. When you don't, send her home.

If you want a real one, find one from South America, not the Com Blocs.

Or get a life.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:02:26 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wehrmacht_Sniper:
Originally Posted By Predator458:
A small part of your soul perhaps?


Long gone.




Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:05:13 PM EST
Originally Posted By texas_mustang_01:
Most of the reputable places make you go to the country to meet the girls first.

Really, there is no need to even marry her. She'll move in for a few months and hope you decide to marry her. When you don't, send her home.

If you want a real one, find one from South America, not the Com Blocs.

Or get a life.


True, Argentinian women are HAWT.

I have a life - I am just weighing in on a plan to have my cake and eat it too. Fuck the drama.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:07:38 PM EST
Russian women are not as stupid as you think.

Neither are they as crazy about your "luxuries" that you surmise...

Perhaps a dedicated trip to Russia, where you will learn that although our American way of life is certainly superior in many respects, your elitist ideas about finding a desperate, dirt poor, stupid Russian "babe slave" is, well, pathetic.

I'd be interested in watching your scenario unfold, though. Especially when she decides she's had enough of you and digs that hole in the desert.....



Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:08:10 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wehrmacht_Sniper:
Originally Posted By texas_mustang_01:
Most of the reputable places make you go to the country to meet the girls first.

Really, there is no need to even marry her. She'll move in for a few months and hope you decide to marry her. When you don't, send her home.

If you want a real one, find one from South America, not the Com Blocs.

Or get a life.


True, Argentinian women are HAWT.

I have a life - I am just weighing in on a plan to have my cake and eat it too. Fuck the drama.


Godspeed to you sir, godspeed.

Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:09:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By Lancair:
Dunno how it is over there, but in Australia, all the mail-order brides would claim sexual abuse, divorce, and be issued protection visas and take half your money...

If you want to meet a foreign woman, go to a foreign country and do it properly.

Bingo. This is what happens here in the US as well. If she claims any kind of spousal abuse, she's gets to be free from you, plus she gets to keep her Green card. Oh yeah, you get to lose your guns as well.

You'll have to show some kind of genuine interest in each other. The interviews with CIS can be pretty in-depth. They generally frown on sham marriages.

But hey man, good luck
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:09:33 PM EST
Tag for epic missing kidney story? Yes.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:12:13 PM EST
I know of a guy who did the whole "Russian Mail Order Bride" thing back in the mid '90's and it has worked out spectacularly. She was a gynecologist in Novosibirsk, Siberia. IIRC, the "courtship" took place over a couple of years, with numerous visits by him to Novosibirsk to see her. Eventually, they decided to marry and he brought her home.

It was awkward at first, and she was completely honest with him that she had some ulterior motives in that she really wanted to get the hell out of Siberia due to poor living conditions, and that men in Siberia tended to be quite misogynistic. His motive for this route was that he found women in the U.S. to be overly superficial.

The "Agency" he used at the time never seemed to be one of the awful ones depicted on documentaries I have seen where a bunch of men are flown over and women are paraded around them like livestock. It was more like an international online dating service. Post your profile, and then pick and choose on your own.

I have read of other horror stories of going this route, but in his case it worked.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:14:01 PM EST
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.


Deaf people make noise just fine.

In fact, fucking a deaf girl is the quickest way to make EVERYBODY in the dorm knows what you're doing at that exact moment.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:22:12 PM EST
Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.


Deaf people make noise just fine.

In fact, fucking a deaf girl is the quickest way to make EVERYBODY in the dorm knows what you're doing at that exact moment.


I LOL
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:25:42 PM EST
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.


Having briefly dated a hot, deaf girl I know they can find a way to make you pay attention. Such as grabbing your head to turn your towards them or SLAMMING pots on a table to make noise.

Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:27:05 PM EST
Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.


Deaf people make noise just fine.

In fact, fucking a deaf girl is the quickest way to make EVERYBODY in the dorm knows what you're doing at that exact moment.


So funny and SOOOooo true.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:29:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.

Actually its the opposite. There is a famous case of some fat guy who bought a wife from Russia who was super hot. She refused to have sex with him, so he got a friend to help kill her and dump the body.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:34:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By Melvinator2k0:

Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.

Actually its the opposite. There is a famous case of some fat guy who bought a wife from Russia who was super hot. She refused to have sex with him, so he got a friend to help kill her and dump the body.

He killed a second one a few years later
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:34:29 PM EST

Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.

...and move their extended family over here and into your house, just to watch the death ....
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:44:31 PM EST
Gals from the Ukraine, Czech Republic, and some areas of eastern europe are some of the most incredible looking women I've ever seen. Maybe I watch too much porn though. They can't all look like that but one can certainly hope.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:48:14 PM EST
Your lawyer fees and filing fees will run you about 4-5k. That's just for immigration to green card status. Double that for her citizenship. Add in all your travel and stuff plus you have to support her until she can work.

Once you're married for a year, she gets half your shit anyway whether she's a citizen or not. Your idea is full of fail.


I am in the process with my Canadian wife right now.


Link Posted: 11/2/2009 3:51:22 PM EST
problem with them foriegn gals are they want to wnat to bring mom, babushka and her odessan mob boyfriend to muck things up for you
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:00:42 PM EST
Enjoy the ride, but please remember to fasten your harness...

Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:02:48 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/2/2009 4:03:08 PM EST by rcsoar4fun]
Eddie Murphy covered this:

Eddie Murphy Bush Bitch
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:03:32 PM EST

Originally Posted By texas_mustang_01:
Most of the reputable places make you go to the country to meet the girls first.

Really, there is no need to even marry her. She'll move in for a few months and hope you decide to marry her. When you don't, send her home.

If you want a real one, find one from South America, not the Com Blocs.

Or get a life.


South American chicks are even crazier than Russian ones.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:06:24 PM EST
A co-worker married an Usbekistani mail order bride. It's been 10 years and they are still together and in love.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:12:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.

Deaf people can't hear.....
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:24:07 PM EST
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.


Not to hijack the thread, but I have a morbid desire to bang a local paralyzed chick. No use of legs but knockout gorgeous. Issue is, we're both married to different people so it won't happen.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:27:49 PM EST
Go for it OP... Let us know how it works out
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:31:22 PM EST
Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.


You are making this sound far worse then it is. The first part is correct, but they rarely kill you.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:33:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By Wehrmacht_Sniper:
Originally Posted By texas_mustang_01:
Most of the reputable places make you go to the country to meet the girls first.

Really, there is no need to even marry her. She'll move in for a few months and hope you decide to marry her. When you don't, send her home.

If you want a real one, find one from South America, not the Com Blocs.

Or get a life.


True, Argentinian women are HAWT.

I have a life - I am just weighing in on a plan to have my cake and eat it too. Fuck the drama.

If Argentinian women are your thing, I guess you could always run for governor of South Carolina.

Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:34:21 PM EST
it STILL sounds cheaper just to rent a hooker. thats if the hooker isn't a cop.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:35:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.





I laughed.


Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:36:00 PM EST
Originally Posted By the_ak_kid:
Originally Posted By PeoplesRepublicOfIL:
Better yet find a hot deaf girl. They can't bitch when they cant talk.





I laughed.




And unless she was looking she would not know you were even laughing at her.

TRG
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:38:58 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/2/2009 4:40:08 PM EST by cobra-ak]
I had this girl from Brazil who I met thru a website for dating who had a stripper's body who had a sideways looking eyeball like Eye-gor in Young Frankenstein, when she played the trombone, that friggin eye would stare at me, it was freaky and i had to look away but man could she play the trombone.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:39:16 PM EST
LEO tip.........lot's of them claim domestic abuse.

This is a fast track to the green card. Because it's DV they don't have to wait out the time period. THey come over, date, get married, then claim "spousal abuse/domestic violence" and you lose your gun rights and they get instant citizenship.


Don't do it.

Plus they will rob you blind. Worked a couple of these cases. It's really an organized mafia.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:39:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/2/2009 4:39:54 PM EST by leo6223]
Double tap...............








Well, like they say....If it's worth saying it's worth saying twice
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:40:47 PM EST
Originally Posted By cobra-ak:
I had this girl from Brazil who I met thru a website for dating who had a stripper's body who had a sideways looking eyeball like Eye-gor in Young Frankenstein, when she played the trombone, that friggin eye would stare at me, it was freaky and i had to look away but man could she play the trombone.


Didn't you steal that quote from another thread several years ago?
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:41:14 PM EST
Originally Posted By Bloencustoms:
Go to blockbuster and rent "The Birthday Girl".


This. Seriously.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:41:59 PM EST
Originally Posted By Wehrmacht_Sniper:. What am I missing?


The real world.......
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:44:19 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/2/2009 4:44:51 PM EST by rasanders22]
If your that much of a loser that the only thing you have to offer a woman is citizenship in this country then do us a favor and stay single and get hookers off craigslist.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:44:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By cckw:
Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They immediately go batshit crazy upon arrival/marriage.

They will kill you.


You are making this sound far worse then it is. The first part is correct, but they rarely kill you.

Saw it on a TV show, so it must be true.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:45:03 PM EST

Originally Posted By Wehrmacht_Sniper:
What am I missing?

That your plan sounds like the machinations of someone desperate and sad.
Link Posted: 11/2/2009 4:46:33 PM EST
The problem is, you're still married to them, and they can take half your shit when you try to trade them in.

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