As with all of us here, I own an extensive collection of firearms.  My soon to be wife is deathly afraid of guns.  She saw her dad get shot when she was young as his store during a robbery.  He survived, but the impression on her has been severe.  She allows me and my son to play as we may and so on.  She also feels the need to learn the deadly art and be able to defend herself.  She really wants to learn, but again, has such a fear.  Any suggestions?  Thanks for the help.

Just be very patient and let her determine the pace she is comfortable with. The best thing you can do is listen to her when it comes to this. You know that it is not the gun that is to blame for her previous experience, but she is not quite convinced.

Patience

Patience and baby steps.

generically speaking, since i don't know her personally, i'd say your best bet for a first step in just increasing her exposure to them.  as long as that exposure is non-threatening, like having her see you pack and unpack them for a range trip or cleaning them after a day at the range.  or better yet (for you), get a new accessory that requires some assembly (a new grip, new stock, something), and make sure she'll see you excited and happy (good emotions) about it.

if you think she's up to it, try taking her to the range one day.  not to shoot anything but just to be around them.  this means you can't stay very long as she'll likely get bored quickly, but it's another level of exposure.  but this does depend on her.

good luck.

Go even slower than a .22. Start of with a pellet gun or BB gun. A good way to learn the fundamentals, cheaply, without the "fear" that some folks get with handling a live weapon.

Maybe even some spring 'air soft' guns...  Just like using a regular gun tell her... then from there, it's .22

Wolfpack, how did you desensitize your wife?  My long term girlfriend is very anti-gun (though she was in (J)ROTC for a good time)... go figure...  She lets me play, but 'wants nothing to do with my sin sticks'  (inside joke/term)... *sigh*

Lots of good advice here...

I would suggest the following levels of exposure as her comfort level increases:

watching you handle firearms and dry practice
safe handling lesson
dry practice
firing a pellet gun or .22
watching you shoot
firing reduced loads or a suppressed firearm
standing right next to you when you shoot
firing the real deal

You may need to "go back a notch" if she starts having trouble with the next higher level.

DIVORCE HER NOW!!!...



[:D]Just kidding...Listen to the folks above.  Sounds like good advice to me.

i'd just like to know how many of you "guys" are gals and what are you doing hangin' out in the womenz forum?  [:D]

[b]bluewolf[/b], couldn't tell from your post, but it sounded like you thought that ARs had a big bang?  am i reading that right?

Hmmm....maybe what she meant was that an AR-10 had a big bang and not an AR-15.  I think it was probably a typo.

I agree with everyone else.  Her first exposure to a gun was very traumatic and she learned to associate bad things with guns.  If you slowly start to amend that bad association and replace it with a positive one, you will be greatly rewarded.  You have to remember that she has come a long way from where she was by even being able to slightly be around guns.  Just give her time and remember that you may have to accept that guns may not ever be an interest you may both share.