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11/24/2017 4:44:23 PM
11/22/2017 10:05:29 PM
Posted: 9/15/2004 11:06:23 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 12:34:15 PM EST by Donna]
OFFICIAL MALE SENSITIVITY TEST

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9.. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.



Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"


BUT: Do REAL men write male sensitivity tests?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:15:40 AM EST
8. Foreplay is to sex as:

C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.


[Larry the Cable Guy] Now that's funny, I don't care who you are! [/Larry the Cable Guy]
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:17:31 AM EST
Foreplay is for sissies and married men
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:21:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.



BWAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:21:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.




I find that disturbingly hysterical. I snorked before I realized I shouldn't even be finding that funny...
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:27:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:

Originally Posted By Donna:

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.




I find that disturbingly hysterical. I snorked before I realized I shouldn't even be finding that funny...



"snorked"?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:28:28 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 11:29:00 AM EST by Evil_Ed]

Originally Posted By Donna:
"snorked"?



Yah...you know, you're laughing, and then you breathe in through your nose?

Snork. Like a snore, except it's funnier

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:29:23 AM EST

Originally Posted By Donna:
OFFICIAL MALE SENSITIVITY TEST

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.


6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9.. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.



Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"


BUT: Do REAL men write male sensitivity tests?



How'd I do?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:29:53 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 11:31:07 AM EST by wedge1082]
Where is the after marriage option on question two?

Where is the it happens when it happens option for question three?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:31:14 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Where is the after marriage option on question two?



Don't you have a post about a boy and his AT-AT that you should be writing?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:32:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Where is the after marriage option on question two?

Where is the it happens when it happens option for question three?



D. All of the above
E. None of the above: _____________________ (write in vote)

I'll have to think about how these affect the scoring!!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:33:10 AM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Where is the after marriage option on question two?



Don't you have a post about a boy and his AT-AT that you should be writing?



Tomorrow I am too tired right now.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:03:35 PM EST
My choice is to own whatever I want and I won't mess with your choice.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:06:42 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:08:30 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 12:09:54 PM EST by wedge1082]

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Where is the after marriage option on question two?



Don't you have a post about a boy and his AT-AT that you should be writing?



Tomorrow I am too tired right now.

When are you going to use all that energy you are conserving so efficiently?



Whenever danger strikes. I only use my powers for good and never for evil.

eta - Or in the case of my Spider-Man introspective, when I have to go potty really bad.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 12:16:12 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 12:16:24 PM EST by Mordak]
LMAO!!! I just emailed this to my girlfriend!!!
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