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Posted: 10/30/2004 11:00:06 AM EDT
I went shooping with the wife today, and as we were wondering around the Supermarket she asked if she could buy something for the bedroom… Sure I said, buy what ever you fancy, so off she trots to the hardware section…

So…… did she buy bed linen, some ornament, new curtains? No! she bought this to keep beside the nightstand!





[

A fucking Axe! She said she was worried as we had a spate of break in in the area!!! Talk about decisive action……

Andy
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:00:59 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:03:09 AM EDT by thelastgunslinger]
Do you not own a firearm?

ETA: I did not see that you were in Great Britain. I guess that weapon is as good as any in that case.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:02:10 AM EDT
And how will she like her prison sentence for "assaulting" a home invader?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:02:25 AM EDT
How many rounds does that thing hold?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:02:55 AM EDT
She also drew cartoon boobies on your bedspread.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:03:30 AM EDT
That is a gun to a Brit
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:04:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:
Do you not own a firearm?



I do but she won't have anything to do with them!

Andy
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:05:46 AM EDT
On second thought, do you have a backyard? Better get one of:



to go with it.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:07:17 AM EDT
She sounds like a peach!

I'd call that a hatchet though.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:07:24 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vito113:

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:
Do you not own a firearm?



I do but she won't have anything to do with them!

Andy



You are saying she would prefer slamming a hatchet into someones spine opposed to simply fireing a gun at them? Is she a viking?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:08:08 AM EDT
Is that the pre-post model with the super high capcacity stock that offers more thrusts per squeeze?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:08:19 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:09:31 AM EDT
Don't laugh at an axe...it is a formidable weapon and very easy to use.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:11:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:11:49 AM EDT by 30calTBLkid]
Hey, my wife likes the firearms, but i would equate this to my wife wanting to run a bayonet course with me.
If she likes the choppin, srcreamin, and killing, then you are blessed man!!!
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:11:34 AM EDT
Damn man... it's pretty sad when that's all you can own to protect yourself... and when you'll likely be arrested, charged, tried, and imprisoned for using it in self defense.

In Texas, someone breaks in, I grab my 1911 from my bedstand, and put two in the intruder's chest. I'd probably get a pat on the back from the cops who come to clean up the mess.

But don't worry, according to the UN, society will protect you. Yeah... <trying to restrain my laughter>


I hope you never have to use it man.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:15:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:17:45 AM EDT by PanzerOfDoom]
Sorry Dude, first thing that popped into my head was WTF do you live in the UK or something? Then I realized you do. It is the place of my birth and wonderful to visit but I'll just hang here.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:16:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Matthew_Q:
Damn man... it's pretty sad when that's all you can own to protect yourself... and when you'll likely be arrested, charged, tried, and imprisoned for using it in self defense.

In Texas, someone breaks in, I grab my 1911 from my bedstand, and put two in the intruder's chest. I'd probably get a pat on the back from the cops who come to clean up the mess.

But don't worry, according to the UN, society will protect you. Yeah... <trying to restrain my laughter>


I hope you never have to use it man.



No shit.

If I were you, Andy, I'd take up sword collecting or something like thatget the fuck out of the UK and go somewhere where you still have some basic human rights...
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:16:52 AM EDT
Asl ong as her name ain't Lizzie Borden it should be alright.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:16:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By vito113:
A fucking Axe! She said she was worried as we had a spate of break in in the area!!! Talk about decisive action……

Andy





I hope it never come to that here.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:20:02 AM EDT
So let me get this right... She would rather hack someone to bits wiht an axe that shoot him with a gun...
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:22:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FOX-:
So let me get this right... She would rather hack someone to bits wiht an axe that shoot him with a gun...



I would...but thats just me
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:25:02 AM EDT
She hasn't taken any addition life insurance out for you has she?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:27:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:27:37 AM EDT by FiveO]

Originally Posted By Pete841:
You are saying she would prefer slamming a hatchet into someones spine opposed to simply fireing a gun at them? Is she a viking?



Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:29:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FiveO:

Originally Posted By Pete841:
You are saying she would prefer slamming a hatchet into someones spine opposed to simply fireing a gun at them? Is she a viking?






I cant believe I made a viking reference and didnt add the smiley!
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:31:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 11:32:12 AM EDT by chrome1]

Originally Posted By vito113:

So…… did she buy bed linen, some ornament, new curtains? No! she bought this to keep beside the nightstand!




I wouldn’t be worried until she brings a chopping block to bed with her too ........

Then my advice would be for you to sleep on your stomach or the couch


Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:34:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:35:17 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mace:
On second thought, do you have a backyard? Better get one of:

mock-trial.uchicago.edu/archives/ellis/shovel.jpg

to go with it.



Purely by coincidence… I swear!! We called in at the Home Depot as I'm doing some building work in the garden and needed some gear… thay had a special offer on ……





Honest! It was coincidence!

Andy
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:37:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By chrome1:

Originally Posted By vito113:

So…… did she buy bed linen, some ornament, new curtains? No! she bought this to keep beside the nightstand!




I wouldn’t be worried until she brings a chopping block to bed with her too ........

Then my advice would be for you to sleep on your stomach or the couch






Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:41:22 AM EDT
if it gives her some comfort and piece of mind, well worth it! and maybe shell eventually progress to guns. she seems to have the survivor instinct.

Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:41:44 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:41:47 AM EDT
Just make sure she registers it as a short-barreled splitting maul. That thing is sweet, ambidextrous safeties and slide stops, flash suppressor, bayonet lug, even a telescoping stock. They let you have those in Great Britain?

In all seriousness, if you're wife's worried about break-ins to the point of getting an axe, maybe it's time you thought about moving Andy say..... to the United States, where you could live out all of your gun-porn fantasies, with the rest of us.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:43:16 AM EDT
Axes and Knives…… ?

If the late night crimedocs on Discovery are anything to go by, women, even when a firearm is available tend to go for knifes and poison… I suppose it comes down to what women are used to… most women cook and use knifes and meat axes as a matter of course, they feel comfortable with them and instincively resort to them in a crisis.

BTW… she is not a violent person by nature…

Andy
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:46:45 AM EDT
I know what you mean, my wife props my KaBar between two books on the night stand, just so the handle isn't restricted when she wants to go for it.

It's so sharp that I made a guy throw up from him looking at me sharpening it.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:52:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Don't laugh at an axe...it is a formidable weapon and very easy to use.

Sgtar15




No, an axe is not easy to use. It does make a formidable weapon. Peter Woodward (This guy-->www.warriorquest.com/weaponsoftheninja.html) went over the use of the axe as a weapon. It balances poorly and therefore requires a lot of practice to become proficient.

vito113,

Tell her she'd be much better off with a dagger.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 11:59:27 AM EDT
Personally, I like the looks of this one:

War Hatchet
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:03:01 PM EDT
What is the waiting period for an ax in the UK?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:08:42 PM EDT
That's not an axe. This is an axe...




CW
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:19:14 PM EDT
why don't you do a post discussing the general environment, regarding crime( can YOU really tell there's been a rise in specific crimes now that criminals don't expect people to defend them[:|selves), safety, general opinion of peolple you know pertaining to that and the wepons ban, how do the police feel about it, ect.
I for one cannot imagine having those right taken away.
What would we, as Americans, probably not know about the situation over there?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:31:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/30/2004 1:40:28 PM EDT by CMOS]

Originally Posted By vito113:

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:
Do you not own a firearm?



I do but she won't have anything to do with them!

Andy





I love it. She'll kill an intruder with an axe but not with a gun!

CMOS
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:34:55 PM EDT
So you're moving to the States.... when? Seriously, consider immigration to the USA- preferably TX, AZ or FL. We have LOTS of Brits here on the Gulf Coast. I just got my new cell phone from one. He has nine stores back in Merry Ol' England, but he loves it here.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:43:34 PM EDT
Bobbit....Bobbit.... who's got the Bobbit......
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 12:45:46 PM EDT
make sure she takes the safety off :)
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 1:00:20 PM EDT
I have a feeling you are one day going to wake up with a splitting headache.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 1:09:28 PM EDT
Can you bump that underwater?
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 1:09:44 PM EDT
Move to America, we'll take ya

We're always on the lookout for a pro-gun immigrant

At least you'll be a little safer, depending on where you move to

good luck with the hatchet!

Link Posted: 10/30/2004 1:16:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 1:45:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:
How many rounds does that thing hold?



More thrust per chop.
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 2:00:00 PM EDT
it's good for zombies too !
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 2:08:17 PM EDT
Jolly good, old Bean!
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 2:14:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/30/2004 2:14:17 PM EDT
Wow, are you sure she isn't and axe murderer?
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