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Posted: 11/17/2011 12:48:24 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2011 12:48:37 PM EDT by Rogue-Sasquatch]
When you're looking to hire somebody, don't post a position with specific details, location, and requirements, have them send you their resumes, then bring a bunch of people in without reading their resumes, tell them the job is actually in a completely different place doing something completely different, you're looking for specific (different) skill requirements, the schedule is nothing like what was posted with the position, and only then look at their resumes and tell them you won't even submit them as candidates to the hiring managers. Oh, and then ask them why they wasted your time.

Because that's just a dick move and no polite, reasonable person would do something like that WHICH WOULD MAKE A REASONABLE MAN WANT TO TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT, SET IT ON FIRE, FORCE IT UP YOUR TEAR DUCTS, SAW OFF YOUR ARMS AND LEGS WITH YOUR OWN SHARPENED FINGERNAILS, BEAT YOU TO A RUNNY GOO WITH A DEAD FISH, JUMP ROPE WITH YOUR INTESTINES, PLAY FOOTBALL WITH YOUR PANCREAS, DRINK TO HIS HANDIWORK FROM YOUR HOLLOWED SKULL, AND FLOOD THE ENTIRE ZIP CODE WITH NAPALM.

So, yeah.

Oh, and really be sure not to call them lazy or entitled for not having a job if you're such a fuckup that you do actually do any of that. Because then you're just being a douchespigot.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 12:50:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 12:54:22 PM EDT
7/10
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 12:55:37 PM EDT
The CAPS killed it for me.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 12:58:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2011 12:58:35 PM EDT by CasualObserver]
Good use of profanity. Rich, vibrant, and creative use of language. Vividly detailed violence, almost to the point of being cartoonish but still grotesque enough to be serious. I can actually feel your rage coming through the screen.

A solid 8/10.

Well done.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 12:58:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By STUBBO:
The CAPS killed it for me.


I thought they were a nice touch.
9 / 10 while graphic, I couldn't really feel the emotion.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:14:50 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:38:13 PM EDT
I feel your rage. 9.5/10.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:43:07 PM EDT
I liked it
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:48:21 PM EDT

You should totally go occupy something.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:50:37 PM EDT
7/10 intestines combined with cardio = win.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:50:49 PM EDT
Going out on a limb here, but you didn't get the job did you?
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:50:53 PM EDT
Nice job and I liked the use of caps on this one. 9/10
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:53:07 PM EDT
Bravo, Bravo my good man!
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 1:56:47 PM EDT
They already knew who they wanted for the job but had to post it.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:06:21 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Bubbatheredneck:
Going out on a limb here, but you didn't get the job did you?


As best I can figure, after them spending 20 minutes lecturing us about how serious the business takes criminal convictions and how many years back they check (more than most companies), they bounced me - 100% spotless criminal record plus a college degree- out the front door and hired either the dishonorably-discharged guy, or the guy with the federal Transporting A Minor Across State Lines For Immoral Purposes conviction (neither of whom even had GEDs).

The most I can decipher is that this company exists to troll people looking for work. Producing anything is a minor side business.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:09:09 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:13:02 PM EDT
9/10 completely valid argument, i have had things like this happen to many times.
alot of business owners and managers need to be slapped.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:13:04 PM EDT
Careful bro, arfcom takes a very dim view of those who speak ill of businesses.
They can do no wrong so STFU and go grovel for another job peasant.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:13:26 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 2:17:06 PM EDT
They hiring for white van speaker sales?
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 4:50:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They hiring for white van speaker sales?


I'll take the job.

I might sell the van on my first day, but, hey... You get the employees you deserve.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 4:57:49 PM EDT
Its got a catchy tune and I can dance to it. I'll give it a 8/10

Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:01:31 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Rogue-Sasquatch:
Originally Posted By Bubbatheredneck:
Going out on a limb here, but you didn't get the job did you?


As best I can figure, after them spending 20 minutes lecturing us about how serious the business takes criminal convictions and how many years back they check (more than most companies), they bounced me - 100% spotless criminal record plus a college degree- out the front door and hired either the dishonorably-discharged guy, or the guy with the federal Transporting A Minor Across State Lines For Immoral Purposes conviction (neither of whom even had GEDs).

The most I can decipher is that this company exists to troll people looking for work. Producing anything is a minor side business.


Most corporate outfits troll people looking for jobs. They specialize in wasting time, whether it is yours or theirs. I don't know why people put up with it.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:04:01 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:06:45 PM EDT
Tell us what company it was, Sasquatch.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:07:10 PM EDT
Some HR goober must be attempting to justify their existence. Look, I got this many bodies through the door looking for work! I can haz commision plz?
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:07:57 PM EDT
After sitting through an interview on Monday putting up with the same faggotry and cocksuckeredness myself , I genuinely feel your angst .

I asked three different times if the company was in need of a MACHINIST and was told three different times that I sounded perfect for the job , and to drive an hour each way for an interview . They had already seen my resume that described my 26 years of MACHINING experience , when I was informed that not only were they NOT looking for a MACHINIST , they didnt even DO any machining themselves , it was ALL subbed out . Instead they were in need of a product ASSEMBLER , and someone to occasionally do sales calls , answer the fucking phone , and go to trade shows once in a while .

Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:08:30 PM EDT
the profanity flowed like water.

8/10
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:09:56 PM EDT
Hey, look at it this way. Those mouthbreathing dumb fucks that you dealt with? They have jobs.

If they can find one, so can you.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:19:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Hey, look at it this way. Those mouthbreathing dumb fucks that you dealt with? They have jobs.

If they can find one, so can you.


They have HR degrees. I will suck-start my Walker Colt before I sully my family name with an HR degree.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:21:03 PM EDT
Little tip to anybody hiring workers right now...


Allow access to Facebook and time to use it?
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:23:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Rogue-Sasquatch:
Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Hey, look at it this way. Those mouthbreathing dumb fucks that you dealt with? They have jobs.

If they can find one, so can you.

They have HR degrees. I will suck-start my Walker Colt before I sully my family name with an HR degree.

There are HR degrees?

I thought the only qualifications for HR jobs were obesity and a hatred of men.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:23:12 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Rogue-Sasquatch:
Originally Posted By JBlitzen:
Hey, look at it this way. Those mouthbreathing dumb fucks that you dealt with? They have jobs.

If they can find one, so can you.


They have HR degrees. I will suck-start my Walker Colt before I sully my family name with an HR degree.


Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:24:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2011 5:24:58 PM EDT by RJGatling]
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
After sitting through an interview on Monday putting up with the same faggotry and cocksuckeredness myself
<more poorly-written whining deleted>


Clearly you are just unwilling to do the work that companies need done! Entitlement attitude is obvious! Perhaps you should go join forces with OWS, you lazy hippie!

Oh, wait, never mind. Sorry, I was channeling someone else.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:26:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/17/2011 5:27:35 PM EDT by Rogue-Sasquatch]
Originally Posted By RJGatling:
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
After sitting through an interview on Monday putting up with the same faggotry and cocksuckeredness myself
<more poorly-written whining deleted>


Clearly you are just unwilling to do the work that companies need done! Entitlement attitude is obvious! Perhaps you should go join forces with OWS, you lazy hippie!

Oh, wait, never mind. Sorry, I was channeling someone else.


Ayn Rand, is that you?

My wife and I were joking tonight that Ayn Rand's business philosophy was "the customer is always wrong."
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:26:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RJGatling:
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
After sitting through an interview on Monday putting up with the same faggotry and cocksuckeredness myself
<more poorly-written whining deleted>


Clearly you are just unwilling to do the work that companies need done! Entitlement attitude is obvious! Perhaps you should go join forces with OWS, you lazy hippie!

Oh, wait, never mind. Sorry, I was channeling someone else.


The FUCK?!?!?!

Channel this
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:27:45 PM EDT
Bad day? Need a hug?


(awww)

But yea, that fucking sucks dude.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:29:53 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:29:59 PM EDT
JUMP ROPE WITH YOUR INTESTINES,


OK, now that was funny!




Sorry about your troubles.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:30:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:35:56 PM EDT
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
Originally Posted By RJGatling:
Originally Posted By ultramagbrion:
After sitting through an interview on Monday putting up with the same faggotry and cocksuckeredness myself
<more poorly-written whining deleted>


Clearly you are just unwilling to do the work that companies need done! Entitlement attitude is obvious! Perhaps you should go join forces with OWS, you lazy hippie!

Oh, wait, never mind. Sorry, I was channeling someone else.


The FUCK?!?!?!

Channel this


Check your sarcasm meter batteries, dude.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:37:31 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:41:25 PM EDT
I would get up, pick up my chair and throw it at him (making sure to miss).

I read that Steve Jobs did that once, but he was interviewing someone he apparently decided was a cretin.

Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:48:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By callgood:
I would get up, pick up my chair and throw it at him (making sure to miss).

I read that Steve Jobs did that once, but he was interviewing someone he apparently decided was a cretin.



No.... no.

I will piss him off until he throws his chair at me. And then I will take HIS job! YES! MY PLAN IS PERFECT! BEHOLD THE PERFECTNESS, OF MY PERFECT PLAN!
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:51:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ZW17:
Needs more back story after the rant to paint a clearer picture.

6/10

I believe the gentleman from the south inquired about the seating arrangements for dinner.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:53:50 PM EDT
Shut up pawn.
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:53:54 PM EDT
"Lets put people with absolutely no experience in or knowledge of the work the rest of the company performs in charge of hiring and shit."
"Sweet idea! Lets call them 'Human Resources'"
"Shit yeah. Lets go play golf."
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:54:14 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hedonist:
They hiring for white van speaker sales?


Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:55:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By MonkTx:

Originally Posted By ZW17:
Needs more back story after the rant to paint a clearer picture.

6/10

I believe the gentleman from the south inquired about the seating arrangements for dinner.


Not going to add too much more detail. Locations and company names could go fast through the internet and I don't need any blowback.


As the guy who edited the Brady Campaign website to reflect their status as a hate group when the McDonald ruling came down, I can give you all kinds of stories about how saying the wrong (or right) thing online travels like wildfire...
Link Posted: 11/17/2011 5:56:56 PM EDT
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