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Posted: 11/26/2014 12:25:38 PM EDT

Ill start off.

My GF (Now my wife) got a free turkey the first year we had our own place. We thought we would have a special party for our friends the weekend before turkey day.

So there we were having a good (Drunken)time eating chicken wings and pizza with the turkey in the oven and about 3/4 the way done when all of a sudden....BOOM, the freakin turkey explodes in the oven.

There was turkey everywhere inside the oven and the grease hit the burner which then ignited when we opened the door. There was much fire and gnashing of teeth over what to do.

We only had to shut the door for the flames to go out and we had the smoke cleared out in about 15min.

Turns out the plastic bag containing the jiblets was left inside the bird, and being similar to one of those tuff ass oven bags it built up enough pressure to make the bird explode.


We finished the turkey off on the grill to avoid any more fire and me and my friends took turns picking the turkey pieces off of the inside of the oven.


All in all it was a pretty good day.




Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:29:22 PM EDT
No personal Thanksgiving disasters, but we did lock up a woman at work for throwing hot gravy all over her mother.

The woman and her brother got into a fight, and when Mom tried to intervene, SPLASH!

Turned out they were fighting over who did more for Mom.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:29:32 PM EDT
A couple of years ago, we ran out of .223 way earlier than I expected. Had to spend the rest of the time shooting pistols and .22. That's the worst I got.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:32:51 PM EDT
lol

this is what happens with fast food America.

People don't know how to prepare simple foods. Like the folks that drop a partial frozen turkey into hot oil.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:34:41 PM EDT
I have a few but that is old news. Growing up with an alcoholic dad. Not worth bringing up. AFter I left home I made a point to never have bad holidays again.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:36:07 PM EDT

Had dinner completely prepared and had everything sitting on the kitchen island and had a glass baking dish sitting on a burner on the island and it shattered (exploded might be more accurate) spewing glass fragments into all the food dishes.
We went out to eat.


Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:36:21 PM EDT
No issues on Thanksgiving, but we got a Christmas Day phone call. Relatives found my great-grandmother dead in her bed when they arrived to pick her up and bring her to the family gathering/dinner.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:38:31 PM EDT
In before 7M3 only.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:39:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RaisedByWolves:


Ill start off.

My GF (Now my wife) got a free turkey the first year we had our own place. We thought we would have a special party for our friends the weekend before turkey day.

So there we were having a good (Drunken)time eating chicken wings and pizza with the turkey in the oven and about 3/4 the way done when all of a sudden....BOOM, the freakin turkey explodes in the oven.

There was turkey everywhere inside the oven and the grease hit the burner which then ignited when we opened the door. There was much fire and gnashing of teeth over what to do.

We only had to shut the door for the flames to go out and we had the smoke cleared out in about 15min.

Turns out the plastic bag containing the jiblets was left inside the bird, and being similar to one of those tuff ass oven bags it built up enough pressure to make the bird explode.


We finished the turkey off on the grill to avoid any more fire and me and my friends took turns picking the turkey pieces off of the inside of the oven.


All in all it was a pretty good day.




View Quote


I made mashed potatoes that turned into potato soup when I finished. Extremely embarrassing. On the bright side, still tasted great.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:40:26 PM EDT
Most of the Thanksgiving dinners I've attended have been relatively tame, but I know a family who has members that still don't talk to each other after a Thanksgiving dinner in 1993 or thereabouts.

I wish I could have been there to have seen it go down. Apparently, some very insulting and evil things were said to each other.



Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:40:44 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By IllardSuggins:
In before 7M3 only.
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Does he still post? His FIL stories are hysterical.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:44:38 PM EDT
Mom left the turkey on the carving plate in the kitchen.

Our dog went into the kitchen and pulled it down off the counter.

Mom went into the kitchen, the dog was chowing down on the bird.

We had ham for that Thanksgiving.

Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:45:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 12:48:15 PM EDT by Admiral_Crunch]
Closest we ever had was when we let my wife's mother cook the turkey. We got a high-end bird, I took the time to brine it with salt and spices, and then she proceeded to overcook the ever-loving shit out of it in a crappy electric roasting pan that didn't come close to cooking it evenly.

Only thanks to the miracle of brining was it at least edible and not total leather.



Oh wait, I forgot the time I got the leftover turkey out of the fridge and made a late-evening sandwich snack -- and forgot to put the turkey back. 10 pounds of leftover turkey went into the trash the next day.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:48:42 PM EDT
Dog ate an entire turkey before She thought that she could get away with it the second we turned our backs.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:48:50 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By Nailcrusher:

Had dinner completely prepared and had everything sitting on the kitchen island and had a glass baking dish sitting on a burner on the island and it shattered (exploded might be more accurate) spewing glass fragments into all the food dishes.
We went out to eat.


View Quote


I gave up on glass bakeware after this happened to me twice (thankfully not at Thanksgiving).
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:53:47 PM EDT
My SIL makes the best pumpkin pie. She's a nurse and had to work until 2pm on Thanksgiving 2009. We had all eaten and kept looking out the window for her to arrive with the pie. At 2:30, she pulls up and we all gather in the window to wave at her and get a glimpse of the pie on its way in to us and our waiting bellies. She gets out, gets the pie out of the backseat, turns to walk in and slips on the ice. Pie lands facedown in the street and she lands in the hospital with a broken tibia.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:56:07 PM EDT
i bet member / exmember guyinflorida has some great thanksgiving stories, involving strippers and mayhem galore.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:58:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 12:58:48 PM EDT by elcope]
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Originally Posted By LoBrau:

Does he still post? His FIL stories are hysterical.
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Originally Posted By LoBrau:
Originally Posted By IllardSuggins:
In before 7M3 only.

Does he still post? His FIL stories are hysterical.


Yes, He's still posting.

Here's some history for those that don't know. Only.

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1269071__ARCHIVED_THREAD____Worst_christmas_gift_thread_2011.html&page=2#i31554577

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1313889_Guess_Who_Is_In_Town__Only__Update_P_2___Dog_Puked_On_My_Rug_.html
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 12:59:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 1:00:23 PM EDT by callgood]
I'm the gravy chef, except for the one time I fried the turkey. Big mistake. Turkey was delicious, but no gravy.

The last year my FIL was with us he kibitzed over my shoulder while I whipped up my masterpiece. The only problem was the flour my daughter had bought to make her contribution, some cheap ass off brand from Piggly Wiggly. It coagulated into little pebbles my gravy whisk couldn't smooth out.

FIL is all , saying it just isn't Thanksgiving without gravy for the spuds.

He didn't count on the ingenuity of the ol' gravy chef. I dragged out the Waring blender, set it to "atomize" and had the last laugh.

My MIL's family had a Thanksgiving tale they'd pull out from time to time. After my MIL's father died she and her mother went to live with her uncle. He was a well to do businessman in Baltimore. One Thanksgiving the cook was bringing the turkey out and it slid off the platter and hit the floor. He said, "That's all right, Mary. Take it back to the kitchen and bring out the other turkey." She caught on, took it back and spruced it up and brought it back out.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:07:54 PM EDT
I was born on Thanksgiving, thus fucking up everyones plans for the day.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:14:59 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By JoshInReno:


I gave up on glass bakeware after this happened to me twice (thankfully not at Thanksgiving).
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Originally Posted By JoshInReno:
Originally Posted By Nailcrusher:

Had dinner completely prepared and had everything sitting on the kitchen island and had a glass baking dish sitting on a burner on the island and it shattered (exploded might be more accurate) spewing glass fragments into all the food dishes.
We went out to eat.




I gave up on glass bakeware after this happened to me twice (thankfully not at Thanksgiving).



My sister burned the hell out of herself with glass bakeware, she picked it up with a set of potholders and it exploded in her hands coating her arms and front with mashed potatoes. Burns took over year to heal.

Iron and stainless steel for us.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:20:42 PM EDT
Power outage. No turkey. Try whipping cream without a machine...

Oven element failed. Grilled turkey. Best thanksgiving turkey ever.

In college I decided to do a Hawaiian thanksgiving since the family was all in Hawaii and I was stuck at school. Got drunk. Put the pig in the ground. Burned it all to hell. I was so drunk I ate it anyway. Everyone ended up having a blast drinking and eating everything else.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:27:02 PM EDT
One of my favorite aunts tried to lick mash taters off of the end of a 120v cord that plugged into the blender after she whipped up some mash taters for a holiday meal.

Thank goodness she wasn't seriously hurt .... but that 120V on a wet tongue pretty much ruined her day.

Pro-tip - unplug all electric appliance cords before lapping up any food goodness off the end of said appliance cord
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:31:41 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By Silverbulletz06:
I was born on Thanksgiving, thus fucking up everyones plans for the day.
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So the date of your birthday changes every year?

I was born on the 28th every 7 years or so my day falls on Thanksgiving and it's the best day ever.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 1:59:23 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By runcible:
No personal Thanksgiving disasters, but we did lock up a woman at work for throwing hot gravy all over her mother.
The woman and her brother got into a fight, and when Mom tried to intervene, SPLASH!
Turned out they were fighting over who did more for Mom.
View Quote

Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:00:51 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By Extorris:

Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.
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Originally Posted By Extorris:
Originally Posted By runcible:
No personal Thanksgiving disasters, but we did lock up a woman at work for throwing hot gravy all over her mother.
The woman and her brother got into a fight, and when Mom tried to intervene, SPLASH!
Turned out they were fighting over who did more for Mom.

Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.



Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:04:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 2:04:34 PM EDT by Techsan02]
Girlfriends dad (high school) lost 3 fingers from his right hand in a cotton stripper. (Thanksgiving 1998)
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:04:38 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:



Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:
Originally Posted By Extorris:
Originally Posted By runcible:
No personal Thanksgiving disasters, but we did lock up a woman at work for throwing hot gravy all over her mother.
The woman and her brother got into a fight, and when Mom tried to intervene, SPLASH!
Turned out they were fighting over who did more for Mom.

Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.



Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.

I take it, Thanksgiving is prime time for domestic calls?
More or less on Christmas?
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:07:56 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By KA3B:
Mom left the turkey on the carving plate in the kitchen.

Our dog went into the kitchen and pulled it down off the counter.

Mom went into the kitchen, the dog was chowing down on the bird.

We had ham for that Thanksgiving.

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Reminds me of A Christmas Story:


Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:09:36 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By fieldchaser:



So the date of your birthday changes every year?

I was born on the 28th every 7 years or so my day falls on Thanksgiving and it's the best day ever.
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Originally Posted By fieldchaser:
Originally Posted By Silverbulletz06:
I was born on Thanksgiving, thus fucking up everyones plans for the day.



So the date of your birthday changes every year?

I was born on the 28th every 7 years or so my day falls on Thanksgiving and it's the best day ever.

LOL, until I was 12 it did change. I was too lazy to remember my birthday since we always celebrate on Thanksgiving.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:12:55 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:

Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:
Originally Posted By Extorris:
Originally Posted By runcible:
No personal Thanksgiving disasters, but we did lock up a woman at work for throwing hot gravy all over her mother.
The woman and her brother got into a fight, and when Mom tried to intervene, SPLASH!
Turned out they were fighting over who did more for Mom.

Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.

Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.

That's why I worked midnights.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:29:11 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By NukeFromOrbit:


Reminds me of A Christmas Story:

http://foodradar.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/bumpus_hounds.jpg
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Originally Posted By NukeFromOrbit:
Originally Posted By KA3B:
Mom left the turkey on the carving plate in the kitchen.

Our dog went into the kitchen and pulled it down off the counter.

Mom went into the kitchen, the dog was chowing down on the bird.

We had ham for that Thanksgiving.



Reminds me of A Christmas Story:

http://foodradar.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/bumpus_hounds.jpg


Thanks, this pic shall be my Thanksgiving background.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 2:52:26 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 2:54:28 PM EDT by lufthansa]
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Originally Posted By supermo:
I have a few but that is old news. Growing up with an alcoholic dad. Not worth bringing up. AFter I left home I made a point to never have bad holidays again.
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dem holiday feels bro. I start listening to orchestral xmas music at the beginning of November so that I'm in an artifically happy mood all season long--I simply do not tolerate a bad holiday season anymore.

Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:04:07 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By rxdawg:
No issues on Thanksgiving, but we got a Christmas Day phone call. Relatives found my great-grandmother dead in her bed when they arrived to pick her up and bring her to the family gathering/dinner.
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The last Thanksgiving I worked, we got called to Grandpa's house because he didn't show for dinner. He was stone dead in his recliner in front of the TV. I got to tell the family that he wouldn't be joining them for this years (or any years) celebration.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:14:19 PM EDT
My MIL spent days preparing aThanksgiving meal. The usual, turkey and a large ham. The 2 where on the counter in the kitchen . She was ready to take the ham and turkey to the table but they where nowhere to be found. some of us actually thought someone had entered through the backdoor and had stolen them. But the missing meal was found in a back bedroom on the floor. Their Great Dane had the feast of his life. The dog had actually eaten most of turkey and the ham.


And on one Thanks giving day the dish the turkey was in exploded . Showered everything with glass. We went out to eat that day.




gd
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:18:50 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By splitbolt:

I take it, Thanksgiving is prime time for domestic calls?
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Originally Posted By splitbolt:
Originally Posted By John-in-austin:
Originally Posted By Extorris:
Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.

Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.

I take it, Thanksgiving is prime time for domestic calls?

Almost as bad as the family get togethers on Father's Da……………oh wait.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:46:24 PM EDT
this week!

the wifie got a frozen turkey from work...and accidentally forgot it in her car for her trip down to phoenix and back. We are going to the ELks Lodge for our meal this year anyways...so I will jerk this turkey with a biltong-ish type recipe. (as long as it smells good coming out of the packaging/bag)
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 3:53:34 PM EDT
My GF at the time asked if she could help with tday dinner so i told her to get mash the potatos - hard to mess up mashed potatos right?

Well I leave the kitchen for maybe 1 minute, and she had already dumped in an entire jar of crushed garlic, tons of pepper and them dumps a pound of cheddar cheese on top.

Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:00:15 PM EDT
That is some funny shit right there OP!

I'm glad things turned out OK ...

And you didn't burn the house down because Your Bird Exploded!

Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:05:30 PM EDT
Mine isn't too bad, but it did suck for me.

Junior year in college, I'm on the swimming team and having a great year. Second biggest meet of the year is the week after thanksgiving (not black Friday weekend, but the weekend after), so I'm looking to stuff my face and relax. Show up for Thanksgiving dinner, my Aunt is sicker than death...but insists on cooking, even though we have plenty of other perfectly capable cooks.

Fast forward to about Tuesday, and I'm not feeling well. By Wednesday I'm in the campus health center curled up in the fetal position; I was obviously missing the meet. Not only did I miss the meet, the illness screwed me up the rest of the season in what would have been the best season of my career.

As a bonus...on Saturday of the meet, about half of the rest of the team started getting sick as well. A few people missed cuts to qualify for the conference meet at the end of the year.

My Mother still hasn't forgiven my Aunt (my father's sister in law) for cooking sick like that...I think if it happened again we'd be hopping in the car and driving down to dinner with my mother's family.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:12:25 PM EDT

Few years back, a GIANT turkey.

Bringing it over to the table, it slid off the tray.

Thanksgiving over.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:15:15 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By Extorris:

Almost as bad as the family get togethers on Father's Da……………oh wait.
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Originally Posted By Extorris:
Originally Posted By splitbolt:
Originally Posted By John-in-austin:
Originally Posted By Extorris:
Wash, rinse, repeat every Thanksgiving at work.

Yes, you always made sure you had dinner and a bathroom stop by 3pm or you were never going to.

I take it, Thanksgiving is prime time for domestic calls?

Almost as bad as the family get togethers on Father's Da……………oh wait.



Want to have fun? Work two drive bys in 3 hours at a Mother's Day picnic.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:16:54 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By James23:

Few years back, a GIANT turkey.

Bringing it over to the table, it slid off the tray.

Thanksgiving over.
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10 second rule applies here
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:19:52 PM EDT
I built a cider press when I was about 20. A family down the street owned the remnants of an old apple orchard down so I asked if I could pick some apples (they never picked any).

So - apples ripe probably mid-October. Made several gallons of cider put it in gallon glass jugs. We just drank it up right away and had a few fermentation locks around for what we didn't drink immediately.

But I gave a gallon to the orchard owners. They smiled and took it and apparently put it into some pantry along side several cases of pop in cans. They have a large family Thanksgiving and BOOM! right during dinner.

The cider had of course fermented in the six or so weeks and finally blew up the glass jug, sending shrapnel into all the pop cans.

It was good revenge in a way. The daughter my age was pretty hot, and never gave me the time of day when I was a kid.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:21:02 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By StrkAliteN:


10 second rule applies here
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Originally Posted By StrkAliteN:
Originally Posted By James23:

Few years back, a GIANT turkey.

Bringing it over to the table, it slid off the tray.

Thanksgiving over.


10 second rule applies here


No kidding. Just put it back in the oven for a bit if you're that worried about it.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:22:16 PM EDT
My aunt decided to host Thanksgiving for the first time one year and we pulled one of the most epic pranks of all time on this poor woman. She's not the sharpest cookie on the tree, and, well, my uncles and I are sadistic in our collective senses of humor.

She had 2 ovens in her kitchen so we turned one of the extra ones on, moved the turkey that was cooking just fine into the other oven once it reached the correct temperature and replaced the turkey with a Cornish Game Hen.

About 20 minutes later, when she went to go check on the turkey, she opened up the oven, and a great wailing was heard throughout the house.

Everyone goes rushing into the kitchen to see what was wrong and the poor woman is in tears. Like, sobbing, wailing, gnashing of teeth, snot bubbles, the whole works.

When my grandma asked her what was wrong, she pointed at the game hen, and, through choked sobs, exclaimed "I think I turned the oven on too high and the turkey got too hot."

Grandma asks, "Why? Is it burnt?"

She says, "No. The turkey shrunk."

At this point me and my uncles are trying to stop ourselves from bursting out in laughter and had to flee the kitchen. Grandma looked at the turkey, turned around very slowly and stalked out of the kitchen.

Needless to say, grandma was less then impressed. Grandpa thought it was hilarious, everyone else spent the next hour explaining to my aunt that the turkey was just fine and that she had been pranked, then they had to spend another hour preventing her from committing brutal, but completely understandable, homicide.

Last year, we served my aunt her own game hen. She was unamused and I was thoroughly soaked by a glass of water poured on my head.

I love Turkey Day shenanigans.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:24:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 4:25:44 PM EDT by hooligan223]
The worst thing that has happened to me was MIL used too much sage in the dressing and it had a soapy taste, other than we all get along so I've got nothing.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:24:59 PM EDT
Backstory : my mother is an evil bitch, we don't talk. She moved out of state.

I was at Thanksgiving day family get together of course, she decided to surprise everyone by showing up

She starts trying to talk to me. I politely tell her I've got no interest.

She starts yelling and screaming and crying and causing a big scene.

Last time I drive in 3 hrs to go to a family dinner.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:25:33 PM EDT
I spend the day hunting w my dad. Go to parents for dinner, no drama.
Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:26:55 PM EDT
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:



My sister burned the hell out of herself with glass bakeware, she picked it up with a set of potholders and it exploded in her hands coating her arms and front with mashed potatoes. Burns took over year to heal.

Iron and stainless steel for us.
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Originally Posted By John-in-austin:
Originally Posted By JoshInReno:
Originally Posted By Nailcrusher:

Had dinner completely prepared and had everything sitting on the kitchen island and had a glass baking dish sitting on a burner on the island and it shattered (exploded might be more accurate) spewing glass fragments into all the food dishes.
We went out to eat.




I gave up on glass bakeware after this happened to me twice (thankfully not at Thanksgiving).



My sister burned the hell out of herself with glass bakeware, she picked it up with a set of potholders and it exploded in her hands coating her arms and front with mashed potatoes. Burns took over year to heal.

Iron and stainless steel for us.


I blew up a big pyrex bowl parking small parts once. (Doh!) Dropped a garand bolt into the solution and boom. Fortunately I was wearing glasses. Made a surprising amount of noise.

Saw a lot of crazy stuff on thanksgiving as a firefighter, seemed like Dad had to go on a call every year too.


Link Posted: 11/26/2014 4:28:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/26/2014 4:30:25 PM EDT by John-in-austin]
Years ago, Being a rookie you always ended up working holidays. I did not mind, we had no kids and the wife and I would just schedule our holiday time on my next day off. Ate a lot of Holiday meals at Whataburger.

Now, part of your holiday patrol was checking in on the senior citizen centers. We had two at the time, neither in a good neighborhood. Thugs preyed on the elderly going back and forth in the evenings, stealing their care packages or following them home for a quick home invasion and beating.

I always stayed and visited for as long as I could, because it was very obvious that no matter how fucked a holiday I've ever had, it will never match some 80-something vet or widow eating crappy turkey and mashed potatoes by themselves in a city building because they either outlived everyone or their family dumped them.

It taught my pretty quickly that someone ALWAYS has it worse than you.
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