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Posted: 7/29/2009 11:32:31 AM EST
I'm about to take a job in a city pretty far from where I currently live and the war chest isn't the greatest, so I'll need to have a couple of roomies for a while, probably three months or so until I can get really up and running. I see a million ads on Craigslist looking for a roomie, so that's where I'm getting the places I'm gonna check out. My uncle lived with some real creeps back in the day, but this was the Vietnam era and he was an art major at the U of I.

I'm definately gonna have the 6th sense perked when I check these places out(if it feels wrong, it usually is) and anything I own that's valuable, I'm gonna leave back at home until I have my own place, so that should mitigate 90% of problems, right? Anybody got any real horror stories about roomates or helpful tips or things to watch out for when moving into a house with total strangers, besides don't do it, which isn't an option?
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 11:44:57 AM EST
she was an ex girlfriend

/thread

Link Posted: 7/29/2009 11:57:01 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 11:57:55 AM EST by bloodsport2885]
I ruptured a disk shortly before returning to my school and got put in a room with a RM that had already been to rehab for drugs. He talked about prescriptions A LOT and had people coming and going constantly with Percocet, Lortab, etc. I was taking Lortab temporarily so I could pack up and go home for surgery without screaming in pain every time I moved. Well come to find out he stole my prescription, books from my room mates and some other small items to pay for court costs on a drug charge he received over the summer holiday. He admits to everything except the meds because that would have been a felony charge for grand larceny. Is he charged with petty theft or kicked out of the university? No, that fucker loses his apartment and nothing else happens. All I could do was grin and try not to smash his face in while the hall director moved him out of the place under supervision.

I'm so fucking glad I'm almost done with that place.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 12:15:08 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 12:17:22 PM EST by jd81657]
One roommate I had went on a crime spree through Utah and ended up being shot and killed by a cop. He pulled a shotgun on the cop and he lost(Good shot by the cop). The very next roommate I had was an ex-gang banger. He and three friends shot some guy in the face and they were charged for attempted murder. Long story short the victim died in a car accident so the cops had to drop the charges. Later that same roommate ended up shooting a police officer and killing him and wounding another cop. He was eventually caught. A year later I came back with a friend and ran into some guy that just got out of jail for a DUI and he ran into my old roommate who was bragging to everyone that he killed a cop and that he is going to be the king shit in prison. He was so proud of himself


edit - By the way this all happend in the military and I did not get to choose these RM.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 12:17:48 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 12:18:03 PM EST by BBossman]
Guy picked up the dirty underwear off his bedroom floor and smelled it to see if it was clean enough to wear again. Oh wait that was me... never mind.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 12:21:39 PM EST
RM in college dorm comes back one night after being out drinking. A little while after he went to sleep, he gets up and walks the spot between the head of my bed and my desk. He pisses on my desk, a lot of which went into the drawers containing my clothes.

I thought I was dreaming or something... but then I smelled the piss. I'm just glad he didn't piss on me.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:00:41 PM EST
I think I am about to have one. Three buddies and I signed a lease on a 4 room place last April. Well, July rolls around and one of the guys parents wont let him go back to school. Therefore we have 2 weeks to find someone to fill the 4th spot before rent is due. Of course we find out while one of our roommates is in South Carolina for three weeks. The roommate that isn't coming back doesn't want to pay rent, obviously, so he is trying to find a person to live with us off of Craigslist. So we could end up having an Obammer messiah believer (possible since it is Oregon) or someone that we may get along with.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:11:23 PM EST
it will probably come to blows
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:17:16 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 1:20:25 PM EST by schizrade]
Moved into an apartment that was listed at my Uni. Guy seemed ok, taught at the local CC.

Fast forward 12 months and our lease is up, and we are going our separate ways. I went into his room, (never went in there before, we respected each others privacy) to say goodbye and good luck. He had STACKS (like 10,000+) of Voyeur photos, leather whip, shit tons of nudie mags, couple of womens leather thongs, some other assorted strange shit, and the kicker: little zip lock baggies with locks of hair in them.












I got the fuck out.

He is a Captain in an Army Reserve MP Unit.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:18:15 PM EST
We had a multi room mate house. One guy, not a friend, started taking ALOT of LSD and then proceeded to wear dresses. I moved out wiithin 7 days of seeing him in his first dress. I heard he's homeless in LA and begging for food.
That is all, nothing else follows.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:19:21 PM EST
this thread is going to be epic.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:20:04 PM EST
Originally Posted By FlyingIllini:
RM in college dorm comes back one night after being out drinking. A little while after he went to sleep, he gets up and walks the spot between the head of my bed and my desk. He pisses on my desk, a lot of which went into the drawers containing my clothes.

I thought I was dreaming or something... but then I smelled the piss. I'm just glad he didn't piss on me.


where is the rest of the story? The part where you busted his head open?

That reminds me of a story about my bachelor party. We rented a party bus/limo. After a wild night out at several strip clubs and numerous alcoholic beverages we were back at my buddies apartment and getting off the bus. As we entered the apartment "David" walks up to the fridge and whips his dick out and proceeds to fill the fridge with PISS!!!!!!! He's hosing the shit down. He TRUELY believes he is in the restroom somehow. Well "Montgomery" (all 6'5 290lbs.) doesn't seem to like piss in his fridge. That was one hell of an ass beating before we could pull him off of him.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:22:19 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 1:23:46 PM EST by alc1343]
my first house in college my desk top computer was the house computer, but my other 3 roommates i grew
up with so i was cool with it...until i decided to be nosey and check browsing history only to find links to
grandma porn...now, i am all about the interweb porn, but not from 70 y.o.+ women

needless to say the "house computer" was password protected from there on out...


ETA: sorry for the poorly-formed sentences...i'm on my third glass of elijah craig
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:27:05 PM EST
only had one bad room mate in the navy, dude was psycho and walled up all the windows to block all the light. Cave man style. He got booted out for psych reasons.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:29:05 PM EST
My first semester of college, my roomate was turning tricks to pay for her tuition.

Sometimes it was up to 5 guys in the same night. I was really glad we were in the new dorms that had separate bedrooms that shared a living, kitchen, bathroom.

Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:41:15 PM EST
I woke up in the middle of the night (after being disturbed by the sounds of my friend and roommate having sex in his bedroom,) and went to the kitchen for a glass of water, and met him naked in the hall. (I had a bathroom attached to my bedroom, he had to use the one in the main hall.) Feeling slightly odd, I said "Evening Shawn, tell Christie I said 'hi,'" and went to go on my way. That's when he started freaking out and grimacing at me........................................................................as it wasn't Christie in there.


Hehe––––I guess I was the bad roommate that night.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 1:45:50 PM EST
Actually never had a real bad roommate. I would say the worse was a girl who got drunk once a week and would bring all sorts of men home. She kept them in her room so I didn't really care that much but she is a screamer so sleep was rough some weekends.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:05:13 PM EST
room mate pissing in the micro fridge because he was drunk
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:10:22 PM EST
Originally Posted By strawberry_snaps:
My first semester of college, my roomate was turning tricks to pay for her tuition.

Sometimes it was up to 5 guys in the same night. I was really glad we were in the new dorms that had separate bedrooms that shared a living, kitchen, bathroom.



you know the rules...pics of ex-roommate
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:16:41 PM EST
This thread is going to deliver. It's just gotten started!
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:20:32 PM EST
[Last Edit: 7/29/2009 2:24:22 PM EST by xaaronx]
i lived in a bmx house, shenanigan levels were set to high. one guy lived in the closet downstairs, and had it all laced up, he had a platform set up and a tv mounted. one day we scooted the entire entertainment center in front of the door, and he couldnt get out, he had to pee in a bottle. this was in revenge for him hiding a remote control dog bark machine above a roomates room in the attic, so funny. 2 in the morning the guy would wake up to a rottweiler barking its lungs out. we used to play a game on the team manger for dirts bros, he lived in the garage. he looked like an angry lumberjack, and weighed over 200 #s. the game was called "lions den". you have to walk into his room at night when he is sleeping, slap him as hard as you can across the face, and count five missippis unitl you can run. he caught one guy, completely taped him up in packing tape, COMPLETELY, and rolled him into the little downstairs bathroom, and shut the door, and for about an hour slid lit bottle rockets and assorted fireworks under the door, the guy came out missing some hair from a roman candle that stuck to his head.


eta one of us worked at a photomat, so he would bring home spent disposable cameras. you could rig the flash still, but minus the flash, and create a little mini stun gun, only this shit would send out enough juice to spot weld spoons. well, we all knew how to harness this technology, and you you find these bastard under pillows, in bags of chips, in shoes, pants, wherever. you could be watching tv and hear a shrill scream, and yep, someone just got the bitch shocked out of em.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:23:55 PM EST
Found out he was selling crystal meth.

After a while of figuring out why in the fuck the lightbulbs kept going missing and people showing up at 3 in the morning it clicked.

I de-assed the area ASAP.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:24:56 PM EST

Originally Posted By xaaronx:


Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:27:44 PM EST
Originally Posted By xaaronx:
i lived in a bmx house, shenanigan levels were set to high. one guy lived in the closet downstairs, and had it all laced up, he had a platform set up and a tv mounted. one day we scooted the entire entertainment center in front of the door, and he couldnt get out, he had to pee in a bottle. this was in revenge for him hiding a remote control dog bark machine above a roomates room in the attic, so funny. 2 in the morning the guy would wake up to a rottweiler barking its lungs out. we used to play a game on the team manger for dirts bros, he lived in the garage. he looked like an angry lumberjack, and weighed over 200 #s. the game was called "lions den". you have to walk into his room at night when he is sleeping, slap him as hard as you can across the face, and count five missippis unitl you can run. he caught one guy, completely taped him up in packing tape, COMPLETELY, and rolled him into the little downstairs bathroom, and shut the door, and for about an hour slid lit bottle rockets and assorted fireworks under the door, the guy came out missing some hair from a roman candle that stuck to his head.


eta one of us worked at a photomat, so he would bring home spent disposable cameras. you could rig the flash still, but minus the flash, and create a little mini stun gun, only this shit would send out enough juice to spot weld spoons. well, we all knew how to harness this technology, and you you find these bastard under pillows, in bags of chips, in shoes, pants, wherever. you could be watching tv and hear a shrill scream, and yep, someone just got the bitch shocked out of em.



Haha we used to throw firecrackers under the door when someone was in the shitter.
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:31:28 PM EST
I still live with my ex-girlfriend. best roomate I have ever had as far as bill paying, but by far the dirtiest(the reason we broke up) and I have to deal with the constant crying about how we should still be together. Plus hell hath no fury like a live in ex when she sees you with someone else
Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:33:33 PM EST
Originally Posted By xaaronx:
i lived in a bmx house, shenanigan levels were set to high. one guy lived in the closet downstairs, and had it all laced up, he had a platform set up and a tv mounted. one day we scooted the entire entertainment center in front of the door, and he couldnt get out, he had to pee in a bottle. this was in revenge for him hiding a remote control dog bark machine above a roomates room in the attic, so funny. 2 in the morning the guy would wake up to a rottweiler barking its lungs out. we used to play a game on the team manger for dirts bros, he lived in the garage. he looked like an angry lumberjack, and weighed over 200 #s. the game was called "lions den". you have to walk into his room at night when he is sleeping, slap him as hard as you can across the face, and count five missippis unitl you can run. he caught one guy, completely taped him up in packing tape, COMPLETELY, and rolled him into the little downstairs bathroom, and shut the door, and for about an hour slid lit bottle rockets and assorted fireworks under the door, the guy came out missing some hair from a roman candle that stuck to his head.


eta one of us worked at a photomat, so he would bring home spent disposable cameras. you could rig the flash still, but minus the flash, and create a little mini stun gun, only this shit would send out enough juice to spot weld spoons. well, we all knew how to harness this technology, and you you find these bastard under pillows, in bags of chips, in shoes, pants, wherever. you could be watching tv and hear a shrill scream, and yep, someone just got the bitch shocked out of em.


Those shenanigans are cheeky and fun.

Link Posted: 7/29/2009 2:41:18 PM EST
Not me, but two of my friends shared an apartment while going to college. I went over there to hang out one weekend and was hit in the face by an inhuman stench. There were about 15 full bags of garbage stacked up in the kitchen by the front door. Crawling maggots, gagging stench and primordial ooze. They got into some kind of spat over chores and the garbage just piled up until it was about 5 feet high. I was going to take some of them to the trash chute just to get clear the air, the chute was only about 25 feet down the hall but my friend told me not to touch them, something about it's "his turn". I did not spend much more time over there.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 7:31:44 AM EST
My first apartment after graduating high school was with my class validictorian. He was cool in a GQ frat-boy kinda way and we had the most awesone bachelor pad you could ever imagine. His parents were rich as shit and we had carte blanche to go raid their house for food and alcohol whenever we wanted.

Lived there about six months. I owned three guns, bought 'off the books' in FTF transactions from a retired cop that I worked with. A .45 1911, a .22 Browning Buckmark, and a Stevens 20 ga side by side shotgun. I kept the .45 in a steel ammo can in the trunk of my car, and kept the .22 and shotgun in my closet.

During the winter of 1988, a string of drive-by late night 'mailbox' shootings began to plague our town. It was a rural community with a well-to-do downtown area and several remote upscale subdivisions surrounding it. Mailboxes were getting shot over a two-week period.

One night it got worse, bullets went through a few windows, narrowly missinbg the home's occupants.

One day I'm in my bedroom screwing around with my girlfriend and the doorbell rings. I get up, pull on a pair of pajama pants, and go to the door. I open the door and find four uniformed cops and four guys in palinclothes. The uniformed cops have guns drawn.

I freeze.

One of the Plainclothes cops asked, "Are you Dave XXXXX ?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm CaptainFinn. I'm his roommate."

Cop: "Can you get him for us please ?"

A little bit stunned and not thinking straight, I turn, huit the door, and go to Dave's room. I knock and say, "Hey Dave. Someone at the door for you." I go back to my room and climb into bed with my girlfriend.

A coupel seconds later I hear dave open the door and then there is the sound of bodies struggling, grunts, and someone hitting the floor. My girlfriend asked what was going on and I kinda shrugged.

A minute later there's a knock on the door. One of the Detectives pokes his head in and asks if I can come out.

Dave is handcuffed on the couch. The cops again ask my name and ask me to produce I.D. Then they ask Dave where 'the gun is'. I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach...

Dave says there's a shoebox under his bed. One of the cops disappears into dave's roiom and comes back with a shoebox. He opens it and removes...you guessed it...my Browning Buckmark.

The cops asks me if I had seen the gun before. I look at Dave and he stares at the floor. So I turned to the cops and truthfully answered: "I didn't know he had a gun in his room."

Turns out Dave had taken my .22 and was going out with one of his jock buddies every night and shooting up mailboxes and houses. They used his buddy's car. His buddy blew his tranny out in an unrelated incident a day or so before and had it towed to a garage for repairs. The two company was the same wrecker service the county sheriff's used. The tow driver found empty .22 casings in the car and gave them to the cops. They matched .22 cases found at the scenes of the shootings.

Not admissable in court, obtained without PC, a warrant or a secure chain of evidence. But the cops went to the friend and the friend's parents and said 'We know your son was invovled, the casings in the car match the casings at the scene of the crime."

So the parents told their son to give up his friend (dave) and in exchange the friend got 200 hours of community service.

Dave got 18 months in state prison. he never told anyone he took the gun from my closet, never said where or who he got it from.

His girlfriend went and visited him a few times, and she told me he had 'some bad experiences' there. At one point he saw someone get their balls sliced off in the shower with a razor blade.

I moved out of state soon after. Two years later I got a phone call from him––he'd gotten out of prison and was living at home. I hung up on him and never spoke to him again.

last year I found out he was a motivational christian minister who gives seminars about turning your life around.



Link Posted: 7/30/2009 7:56:54 AM EST
College Dorm: Guy who was also from downstate IL. Had some sort of foot rot that caused his feet to be extremely foul. When he'd take off his shoes, the stench would make you want to gag. If sleeping, it would wake you up.

He lasted about three weeks until he found someone more compatible and moved out.

John
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:08:54 AM EST

Originally Posted By CaptainFinn:

Not admissible in court, obtained without PC, a warrant or a secure chain of evidence. But the cops went to the friend and the friend's parents and said 'We know your son was involved, the casings in the car match the casings at the scene of the crime."


Slight hijack - how are the casings not admissible? If the tow company found a head in the car, i think it would show up as evidence in a trial.


Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:10:49 AM EST
I'm roommates with my cousin.

He pays rent on time.

He cleans up after himself.

He's pretty quiet.

We've known each other since birth (I'm only a day older than him)

And he's my cousin. So I don't really have any qualms about my current roommate.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:13:25 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/30/2009 8:24:56 AM EST by akethan]
When I bought my house I had a buddy move in to help ease the costs. He has always been a band guy, bass player.

I have many stories but the one I always think of is when I came home from a couple day vacation and found blood all over my bathroom.

It looked like someone was murdered blood all over the floor, sink and toilet. I found my roomate sleeping downstairs in his room and woke him up. He had blood all over his bed and face.

So he tells me he called a hooker and had her come over the night before and eventually he decided in a drunken stuper to eat this whore out. He said he didn't even notice she was ragging it.


I have more I'll share later.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:19:30 AM EST
Had an ultra-lib as a roommate. Thankfully not a wombmate. Lol.
She rented one upstairs room and during the election I put out my McCain/Palin signs. She put out twice as many Obongo signs. I told her she is welcome to display them from her window ( backyard ) as she rents the room not the entire property. Big fight but I won.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:21:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/30/2009 8:23:02 AM EST by JDeere7296]
Had a roommate in college, we lived in the college dorms for a year. He was a good guy, but really acted crazy when he got drunk. One time I was woke up to him and his GF having sex........what made it worse is the dorm rooms were really small and our beds were only 8' apart, so needless to say I got up and left.....

Another time he got drunker than hell and came back to the dorm around midnight, about an hour later I woke up to him standing in the middle of the room PISSING on the floor !! If he was aiming just a foot more to the right, he would have pissed on me. That would have been really, really bad.....

Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:33:05 AM EST
Make sure EVERYONE is on the lease.
DON'T get just your name on any utilities.
Take a lot of photos of your place before moving in. Note ANYTHING wrong. Take photos again when you leave.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:39:12 AM EST
Had a roommate who was straight up filthy. Left dirty dishes piled in the sink and on the stove, he'd only wash them if he needed them. One winter he stopped showering and told us since its colder he doesn't sweat so he doesn't need to. To make this worse he started to camp out in the living room because he claimed the upstairs was to cold. He would come home from work, take his shoes off, spray frebreeze on his feet, light up his bong and not move from the couch till 8 am. Would wear the same socks, pants, underwear and shirt for a week at a time.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:46:10 AM EST
when i was in the airforce stationed at kunsan korea, i came home one night drunk as fuck, got in my top bunk and promptly puked all over my self and bed and i slept in it,

that asshole didnt help clean me up or my mess and he moved out the next morning.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:53:17 AM EST
I've never had a roommate. I've had wives, kids and girlfriends who lived with me, but never a roommate. I couldn't take it.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 8:56:47 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/30/2009 8:57:25 AM EST by Chevyguy85]
I don't get all the drunk pissing stories, now I'll admit, when I'm hammered, I will sometimes piss in places OUTSIDE that I normally wouldn't when sober, like in a parking lot hiding behind a car or something. But I have never mistaken a refrigerator, desk, or bed for a toilet no matter how drunk I am, and I have been pretty damn drunk before. You guys sure it was just alcohol and not a mix of other drugs?
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:06:40 AM EST
When I was in my early twenties. I needed a room mate for the $$$. I took on a guy I had just met a few times, but he was a friend of a fried, and was recommended.

He turned out to be a fugitive from justice living under an assumed identity. Nothing too nasty, he had been up on marijuana charges and skipped town during trial several years earlier. But that had weighed heavily in his life, and by the time we crossed paths, this guy was an utter and complete alcoholic. I mean 1/2 gallon of vodka per day drunk. Very neat and clean, but seriously funked up life. And it doesn't take long for this type to lean on you very heavy like.

Anyway, I moved out the day the lease term expired, never spoke to him again, and never had another room mate.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:06:50 AM EST
Originally Posted By Chevyguy85:
I don't get all the drunk pissing stories, now I'll admit, when I'm hammered, I will sometimes piss in places OUTSIDE that I normally wouldn't when sober, like in a parking lot hiding behind a car or something. But I have never mistaken a refrigerator, desk, or bed for a toilet no matter how drunk I am, and I have been pretty damn drunk before. You guys sure it was just alcohol and not a mix of other drugs?


One night I woke up drunk at 5:30 or so in the morning, got out of my girlfriends bed, walked into her roommates bathroom and pissed on her shower mat....

Only alcohol was involved and I have no memory of this. Thankfully the gf woke up and cleaned up after me before her roommate woke up and a few hours later I went to the store and got a replacement shower mat.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:12:32 AM EST
My roomate in tech school at Ft Leonard Wood was the filthiest, nastiest sob. In the three months we were there he never had a bar of soap, just a bottle of shampoo that never seemed to be used. The stench was so bad that I could tell if he got back to the room before by whether or not I could smell his funk in the hallway. I allways tried to beat him to the room so I could douse his half of the room with lysol. He would keep me up at night with his scratching noises and I discovered why when I caught ringworm from the toilet seat. I complained to the dorm NCOIC and he chewed me out! I later found out the NCOIC got booted for shagging one of the female students (he was on a joint assignment with his wife) which warmed my heart a little.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:14:10 AM EST
The guy I shared an apartment with at the University of New Hampshire was an absolute mess. Never went to class, smoked weed like it was his job and would play World of Warcraft for days straight, so much so that he had a seizure from a 27 hour session. About 3 months in to school two uniformed Air Guardsmen show up at the door asking if he lived there. Turns out was a in the guard and hadn't reported for drill in months.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:17:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By xaaronx:
i lived in a bmx house, shenanigan levels were set to high. one guy lived in the closet downstairs, and had it all laced up, he had a platform set up and a tv mounted. one day we scooted the entire entertainment center in front of the door, and he couldnt get out, he had to pee in a bottle. this was in revenge for him hiding a remote control dog bark machine above a roomates room in the attic, so funny. 2 in the morning the guy would wake up to a rottweiler barking its lungs out. we used to play a game on the team manger for dirts bros, he lived in the garage. he looked like an angry lumberjack, and weighed over 200 #s. the game was called "lions den". you have to walk into his room at night when he is sleeping, slap him as hard as you can across the face, and count five missippis unitl you can run. he caught one guy, completely taped him up in packing tape, COMPLETELY, and rolled him into the little downstairs bathroom, and shut the door, and for about an hour slid lit bottle rockets and assorted fireworks under the door, the guy came out missing some hair from a roman candle that stuck to his head.


eta one of us worked at a photomat, so he would bring home spent disposable cameras. you could rig the flash still, but minus the flash, and create a little mini stun gun, only this shit would send out enough juice to spot weld spoons. well, we all knew how to harness this technology, and you you find these bastard under pillows, in bags of chips, in shoes, pants, wherever. you could be watching tv and hear a shrill scream, and yep, someone just got the bitch shocked out of em.


epic..fucking epic
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:17:20 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/30/2009 9:32:31 AM EST by ragedracer1977]
Originally Posted By Lefthandpath:
Originally Posted By Chevyguy85:
I don't get all the drunk pissing stories, now I'll admit, when I'm hammered, I will sometimes piss in places OUTSIDE that I normally wouldn't when sober, like in a parking lot hiding behind a car or something. But I have never mistaken a refrigerator, desk, or bed for a toilet no matter how drunk I am, and I have been pretty damn drunk before. You guys sure it was just alcohol and not a mix of other drugs?


One night I woke up drunk at 5:30 or so in the morning, got out of my girlfriends bed, walked into her roommates bathroom and pissed on her shower mat....

Only alcohol was involved and I have no memory of this. Thankfully the gf woke up and cleaned up after me before her roommate woke up and a few hours later I went to the store and got a replacement shower mat.


I got up one night after a little over imbibing, and was informed by my wife that I pissed in the closet.

And no, no other stuff was involved.

ETA:

I really only ever had one problem with roommates. One of them almost shot me in the back.

I had a .357 Ruger. My roommate wanted to see it. I was sitting at my reloading desk, cranking out rounds. He was sitting on the bed behind me. I turned and handed it to him and said "It's loaded. Be careful where you point it." I then turned around and went back to loading. Then: BOOOOOOMMMMM. I see a hole appear in the wall about 6" to my left.

That fucker pulled the trigger. I whipped around, grabbed the gun, and socked him.

He said he hadn't realized it was loaded.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:23:03 AM EST
Lived with a guy for about a year and for the first part it worked out well. We were friends and respected the other as much as we could. It was his place so i tried to do extra stuff just to keep the relationship good, mowed the yard landscaped, and did small household stuff when things went wrong. He had some girfriends come over at night once in awhile, skanks, but i never heard them even though our rooms were right across from eachother. So I start bringing my girlfriend over and she is a bit of a screamer and he the next day he would give me ahard time about it. I told him i would refinish the walls in the bedroom because of the scratch marks she made and would try and keep it down. 5 month later the guy uses all the shit i told him about this girl against me and now he is dating her after i moved out. She was a slob abd so was he so i guess they fit.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:26:46 AM EST
IN on one!!!!
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:41:47 AM EST
[Last Edit: 7/30/2009 9:43:41 AM EST by BennyFranklin]
Living in NYC, my roommate at the time picked up a chick in Amsterdam, flew her back here and a couple months later told me "Hey I'm letting the lease expire at the end of the month, we're getting married and buying a townhouse." I think we were already passed the first week in the month so I had less than 30 days. On a budget, finding a room in NYC is a near impossibility.

So I used an apartment finding service (desperation set in) and met up with a guy that was only a couple blocks down from where I already was. Money was right and the space was a decent size so I go for it.

The new roommate was a 30+ personal trainer with a bad back and a permanent tan. "Hammerhead" always fit his look and personality. He had that vibe like he was being uber macho tough guy to compensate for the fact he couldn't handle he was gay. When I was moving my stuff in, I had help from some guys that had a van. During the move in, one guy was like, "You know you're new roommate seems very familiar. I'd put money on it that it was in a bar in the village some night and involved an altercation of some kind." The very first night I'm there he took me to the bar across the street and nearly got me dragged into a fistfight.

At the time I was working at a studio so sessions got me home late (like 1AM average). The apartment was railroad style, all the rooms were connected end to end, there was a door on each end of the apartment to the outside hall (kitchen and bedroom). So it worked good for me that I'd just go into my bedroom right from the hall and I didn't have to go through his room, just out into the hall to get to the kitchen. So I get home late one night, drop my crap off in my room then go to get a drink. I open the kitchen door, and there he is, in the middle of the kitchen standing in front of a full length mirror he brought in doing body builder poses.......buck naked. I was wicked tired and needed water soI took the glass I had in my hand walked over to the sink and started filling up just ignoring him:

Him: Um, so I guess you're wondering what I'm doing.
Me: Nope, don't care to know.
Him: Dude that's fucked up.
Me: ......

I left with my drink, went to sleep in my room and the next day started looking for an apartment across the river so I could afford to live alone.

ETA: Before I got out of there he managed to get in front of me naked two more times.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 9:45:52 AM EST
I had a roomate who was absolutely convinced that HK makes the best pistols ever. He calimed the CZ75 was unreliable in comparison. Then he claimed that his M1A which he referred to as an M14 was a better rifle than either the FAL or the AR10. On top of all this he shot my K31 and said "meh". It was truly awful I tell you.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 10:09:15 AM EST
I had a room mate that was heavy into crack. My ex GF introduced me to another guy that needed a room mate. He seemed like a nice guy so I moved in with him mostly to get away from the crack head.

Well, since he worked days and I worked nights I didn't see much of him for a couple of months.
Then I started seeing him when I came home at midnight. At first just once in awhile then every night.
It seems he was getting into coke and as some of you may or may not know its kinda hard to sleep when you snort that shit. Then he started drinking the beer I came home with so I didn't have enough for myself.
That was the last straw for me. I asked my GF to marry me and we moved in together. Still with her almost 22 years later.
The ex-room mate is living in his van down by the river as far as I know.
Link Posted: 7/30/2009 10:18:58 AM EST
Originally Posted By ragedracer1977:
Originally Posted By Lefthandpath:
Originally Posted By Chevyguy85:
I don't get all the drunk pissing stories, now I'll admit, when I'm hammered, I will sometimes piss in places OUTSIDE that I normally wouldn't when sober, like in a parking lot hiding behind a car or something. But I have never mistaken a refrigerator, desk, or bed for a toilet no matter how drunk I am, and I have been pretty damn drunk before. You guys sure it was just alcohol and not a mix of other drugs?


One night I woke up drunk at 5:30 or so in the morning, got out of my girlfriends bed, walked into her roommates bathroom and pissed on her shower mat....

Only alcohol was involved and I have no memory of this. Thankfully the gf woke up and cleaned up after me before her roommate woke up and a few hours later I went to the store and got a replacement shower mat.


I got up one night after a little over imbibing, and was informed by my wife that I pissed in the closet.

And no, no other stuff was involved.

ETA:

I really only ever had one problem with roommates. One of them almost shot me in the back.

I had a .357 Ruger. My roommate wanted to see it. I was sitting at my reloading desk, cranking out rounds. He was sitting on the bed behind me. I turned and handed it to him and said "It's loaded. Be careful where you point it." I then turned around and went back to loading. Then: BOOOOOOMMMMM. I see a hole appear in the wall about 6" to my left.

That fucker pulled the trigger. I whipped around, grabbed the gun, and socked him.

He said he hadn't realized it was loaded.


When it comes to roommates, I was the horror story! I'm going to pay close attention to this thread to see if any of my ex-roomies are on ARFCOM!

For my birthday, one set of them actually got together and gave me a card. It was titled 'The roommate from Hell!' and was styled like the billboard from a 50s-era horror flick

As far as pissing goes, I walked in one night drunk as a skunk, having to piss like a racehorse. As the story was recounted to me the next day, I took offense at the fact that someone was in the bathroom at the time, and after giving them approximately 5 seconds to get out, proceeding to piss under the doorway to express my angst. I then insisted on listening to Pink Floyd at full volume for the rest of the evening until I went to sleep (another 5 seconds).

Fortunate for me, my roommates were pretty descent & forgiving human beings. I would definitely have kicked my ass for that. They probably did heinous things to me while I slept. Thank God for blackouts.

eta: This was all a long, long time ago in the past. And no... I'm not proud of it (though it is funny to look back on).

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