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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:08 PM EDT

I'll start.

Confucius say: "Silence is a friend who will never betray".

Confucius say: "Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without".

Confucius say: " Tattoo is permanent reminder of temporary insanity".

Confucius say: "Woman pilot who flies upside down has big crack up".

Ah so.

Your turn.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:49 PM EDT
Confucius say: Never take laxative and sleeping pill at same time.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:50 PM EDT
Confucious say "man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted"
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:23:14 PM EDT
Confucius say: "It better to be pissed off than be pissed on."
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:25:06 PM EDT
Confuscius say: "He who goes to bed at night with itchy butt hole, wakes up with stinky finger."
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:26:23 PM EDT

Confucius say: "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot"
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:28:43 PM EDT
Man who go through airplane door sideways going to Bangkok
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:28:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/25/2005 4:29:22 PM EDT by WildBoar]
Confuscius say: "Man who fart in Church, sit in own pew"
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:30:26 PM EDT
Confucius Say
Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right.

Confucius Say
Masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.

Confucius Say
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Confucius Say
Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.

Confucius Say
To reuse a condom, turn it inside out and shake the f*ck out of it
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:31:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/25/2005 4:34:37 PM EDT by Makarov_Mami]
Confucious say, "She who eat too many sweets, soon take up two seats!"
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:31:18 PM EDT
Confucius say: Panties not best thing in world but next to it.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:34:25 PM EDT
Confucious say: Man who represent self in court has fool for client.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:38:13 PM EDT
Confucious say, "Stupid man give wife grand piano, smart man give wife upright organ."
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:39:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/25/2005 4:42:00 PM EDT by _DR]
Confuscious Say:
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Confuscious Say:
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Confuscious Say:
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement

Confuscious Say:
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

Confuscious Say:
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.

Confuscious Say:
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge.

Confuscious Say:
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Confuscious Say:
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.

Confuscious Say:
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Confuscious Say:
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.

Confuscious Say:
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

Confuscious Say:
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Confuscious Say:
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house

Confuscious Say:
Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night.

Confuscious Say:
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out

Confuscious Say:
It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Confuscious Say:
Man who sit on tack get point

Confuscious Say:
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:45:26 PM EDT
Confucius say : Man who fart in church, sit in pew.

Confucius say : Man who stands on toliet, high on pot.

Confucius say : Man who buys wet cat, gets wet pusy.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:47:34 PM EDT
Confucius say: to make egg roll push it.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 4:53:46 PM EDT
Confused us say "vagina is tunnel of love"

Link Posted: 8/25/2005 5:17:45 PM EDT
Confucius says: Man with hands in pocket, feels nuts.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 5:20:45 PM EDT
Man who plays rough with kitten gets bit by cat.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 5:25:47 PM EDT
Confucius say : Baseball is wrong, man with 3 balls can't walk.
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 5:43:20 PM EDT
Confucius say:

Drunk who bares ass in a bar, may get it in the end.

Confucius say:

Dog who pisses on a wall outlet, may have a light pee.

Confucius say:

He who sleeps with pig will wake up in slop.

Confucius say:

He who write bad topics, will get bad posts.

Link Posted: 8/25/2005 5:50:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:
Confucius say : Baseball is wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk.

Fixed it for you!
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 6:30:47 PM EDT
Confucius say: Man who sticks penis in car tailpipe gets hot rod.

Confucius say: Are you happy to see me or is that a pack of Certs in your pocket?
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 6:36:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By B-O-A-T-S:

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:
Confucius say : Baseball is wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk.

Fixed it for you!

Link Posted: 8/25/2005 8:23:09 PM EDT
Confucius say: Girl who do back spring on bed spring have offspring next spring
Confucius say: Baseball got it all wrong, man with four balls cannot walk
Link Posted: 8/25/2005 9:26:48 PM EDT
Confucius say, "man without hat get sunburn"
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 5:25:30 AM EDT
Confucius say:
Man who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary!

Link Posted: 8/26/2005 5:48:12 AM EDT
Man who loses key to girlfriends apt., get no nookie.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 5:48:42 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/26/2005 5:50:58 AM EDT by 1911lover]
Man who loses key to girlfriend's apt., get no nookie.

Woman who fly plane upside down have big crack-up.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:00:45 AM EDT
Confucius Say
A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.

Confucius Say
A relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love.

Confucius Say
A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.

Confucius Say
A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded.

Confucius Say
It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

Confucius Say
A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

Confucius Say
The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.

Confucius Say
A man is only as faithful as his options.

Confucius Say
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Confucius Say
Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing.

Confucius Say
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.

Confucius Say
A man's last will and testiment is a dead give away.

Confucius Say
The wise speak when they have something to say,
the fools speak when they have to say something.

Confucius Say
If you worry about yesterday's failures, todays successes will be few.

Confucius Say
A Rubix cube is like a penis. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:14:45 AM EDT
A few more I like...

Confucius Say
Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.

Confucius Say
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.

Confucius Say
Those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Confucius Say
A chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.

Confucius Say
Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

Confucius Say
The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks.

Confucius Say
People are like teabags - you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.

Confucius Say
One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

Confucius Say
The fear of death keeps us from living, not from dying.

Confucius Say
The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back, is a police horse.

Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:19:09 AM EDT
Confuscius say: You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't wipe your friends under the sofa
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:21:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/26/2005 6:22:40 AM EDT by Nozzleman]
Confucius say:

Blonde woman have black hair, by crackie!

Woman who gets laid in strawberry patch have ass in jam.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:22:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By _DR:
Confuscious Say:
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.

confuscious say:
chinese man with hole in pocket feel little cocky.

confuscious say:
woman with hole in pocket not feel cocky at all.

ah so...
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:32:40 AM EDT
Man who walk through airport metal detector sideways going to Bangkok
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 6:52:07 AM EDT
Confucius say:

He who lay girl on ground, get piece on Earth.

Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:10:56 AM EDT
It's good for lady to meet guy in park. It's better for guy to park meat in lady

Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:12:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/26/2005 7:14:50 AM EDT by skid2964]
Confucius say:

"99% of poeple who get constipated don't give a shit"
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:17:20 AM EDT
Confucius say
Man who go to bed with love problem on mind, wake up with solution in hand.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:24:33 AM EDT
the mind is willing, but the ox is slow.
Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:26:13 PM EDT
Confucius say:

He who spends all his pennies to buy a large new truck, will have a large new driveway ornament without money to buy gasoline.

Confucius say:

A man without a dog, is a man without a friend.

Confucius say:

He who finds a quarter, still needs three more to have found a dollar.

Confucius say:

A cat without nine lives, is a starving cat.

Confucius say:

If a man wakes up with a beetle on his dick. Then he is a man with a cockroach.

Link Posted: 8/26/2005 7:32:41 PM EDT
Forgiveness is devine, but never pay full price for cold pizza.
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