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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:08 PM EDT
I'll start. Confucius say: "Silence is a friend who will never betray". Confucius say: "Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without". Confucius say: " Tattoo is permanent reminder of temporary insanity". Confucius say: "Woman pilot who flies upside down has big crack up". Ah so. Your turn. 
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:49 PM EDT
[#1]
Confucius say: Never take laxative and sleeping pill at same time.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:22:50 PM EDT
[#2]
Confucious say "man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted"
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:23:14 PM EDT
[#3]
Confucius say: "It better to be pissed off than be pissed on."
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:25:06 PM EDT
[#4]
Confuscius say: "He who goes to bed at night with itchy butt hole, wakes up with stinky finger."
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:26:23 PM EDT
[#5]
Confucius say: "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot" |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:28:43 PM EDT
[#6]
Man who go through airplane door sideways going to Bangkok
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:28:46 PM EDT
[#7]
Confuscius say: "Man who fart in Church, sit in own pew"
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:30:26 PM EDT
[#8]
Confucius Say
Some Sex Is Good...More Is Better...Too Much Is Just About Right. Confucius Say Masturbation is a solo played on a private organ. Confucius Say Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. Confucius Say Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone. Confucius Say To reuse a condom, turn it inside out and shake the f*ck out of it |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:31:03 PM EDT
[#9]
Confucious say, "She who eat too many sweets, soon take up two seats!"
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:31:18 PM EDT
[#10]
Confucius say: Panties not best thing in world but next to it.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:34:25 PM EDT
[#11]
Confucious say: Man who represent self in court has fool for client.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:38:13 PM EDT
[#12]
Confucious say, "Stupid man give wife grand piano, smart man give wife upright organ."
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:39:49 PM EDT
[#13]
Confuscious Say:
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there. Confuscious Say: War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Confuscious Say: Man who lives in glass house should change in basement Confuscious Say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long. Confuscious Say: Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip. Confuscious Say: Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge. Confuscious Say: Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent. Confuscious Say: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants. Confuscious Say: Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Confuscious Say: Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly. Confuscious Say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok Confuscious Say: Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails. Confuscious Say: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house Confuscious Say: Man who sleep in cat house by day, sleep in doghouse by night. Confuscious Say: Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out Confuscious Say: It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Confuscious Say: Man who sit on tack get point Confuscious Say: He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs. |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:45:26 PM EDT
[#14]
Confucius say : Man who fart in church, sit in pew.
Confucius say : Man who stands on toliet, high on pot. Confucius say : Man who buys wet cat, gets wet pusy. |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:47:34 PM EDT
[#15]
Confucius say: to make egg roll push it.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 4:53:46 PM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 8/25/2005 5:17:45 PM EDT
[#17]
Confucius says: Man with hands in pocket, feels nuts.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 5:20:45 PM EDT
[#18]
Man who plays rough with kitten gets bit by cat.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 5:25:47 PM EDT
[#19]
Confucius say : Baseball is wrong, man with 3 balls can't walk.
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Posted: 8/25/2005 5:43:20 PM EDT
[#20]
Confucius say:
Drunk who bares ass in a bar, may get it in the end. Confucius say: Dog who pisses on a wall outlet, may have a light pee. Confucius say: He who sleeps with pig will wake up in slop. Confucius say: He who write bad topics, will get bad posts. |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 5:50:04 PM EDT
[#21]
Fixed it for you! |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 6:30:47 PM EDT
[#22]
Confucius say: Man who sticks penis in car tailpipe gets hot rod.
Confucius say: Are you happy to see me or is that a pack of Certs in your pocket? |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 6:36:25 PM EDT
[#23]
Typo. 
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Posted: 8/25/2005 8:23:09 PM EDT
[#24]
Confucius say: Girl who do back spring on bed spring have offspring next spring
Confucius say: Baseball got it all wrong, man with four balls cannot walk |
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Posted: 8/25/2005 9:26:48 PM EDT
[#25]
Confucius say, "man without hat get sunburn"
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Posted: 8/26/2005 5:25:30 AM EDT
[#26]
Confucius say:
Man who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary! jb |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 5:48:12 AM EDT
[#27]
Man who loses key to girlfriends apt., get no nookie.
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Posted: 8/26/2005 5:48:42 AM EDT
[#28]
Man who loses key to girlfriend's apt., get no nookie.
Woman who fly plane upside down have big crack-up. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:00:45 AM EDT
[#29]
Confucius Say
A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle. Confucius Say A relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love. Confucius Say A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death. Confucius Say A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded. Confucius Say It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you. Confucius Say A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise. Confucius Say The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut. Confucius Say A man is only as faithful as his options. Confucius Say A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. Confucius Say Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing. Confucius Say The best way to keep your word is not to give it. Confucius Say A man's last will and testiment is a dead give away. Confucius Say The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something. Confucius Say If you worry about yesterday's failures, todays successes will be few. Confucius Say A Rubix cube is like a penis. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:14:45 AM EDT
[#30]
A few more I like...
Confucius Say Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut. Confucius Say Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out. Confucius Say Those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end. Confucius Say A chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock. Confucius Say Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them. Confucius Say The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks. Confucius Say People are like teabags - you don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water. Confucius Say One who lacks the courage to start has already finished. Confucius Say The fear of death keeps us from living, not from dying. Confucius Say The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back, is a police horse. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:19:09 AM EDT
[#31]
Confuscius say: You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't wipe your friends under the sofa
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:21:31 AM EDT
[#32]
Confucius say:
Blonde woman have black hair, by crackie! Woman who gets laid in strawberry patch have ass in jam. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:22:19 AM EDT
[#33]
confuscious say: chinese man with hole in pocket feel little cocky. confuscious say: woman with hole in pocket not feel cocky at all. ah so... 
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:32:40 AM EDT
[#34]
Man who walk through airport metal detector sideways going to Bangkok
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Posted: 8/26/2005 6:52:07 AM EDT
[#35]
Confucius say:
He who lay girl on ground, get piece on Earth. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:10:56 AM EDT
[#36]
It's good for lady to meet guy in park. It's better for guy to park meat in lady
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:12:52 AM EDT
[#37]
Confucius say:
"99% of poeple who get constipated don't give a shit" |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:17:20 AM EDT
[#38]
Confucius say
Man who go to bed with love problem on mind, wake up with solution in hand. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:24:33 AM EDT
[#39]
the mind is willing, but the ox is slow.
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:26:13 PM EDT
[#40]
Confucius say:
He who spends all his pennies to buy a large new truck, will have a large new driveway ornament without money to buy gasoline. Confucius say: A man without a dog, is a man without a friend.  Confucius say: He who finds a quarter, still needs three more to have found a dollar.  Confucius say: A cat without nine lives, is a starving cat.  Confucius say: If a man wakes up with a beetle on his dick. Then he is a man with a cockroach. |
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Posted: 8/26/2005 7:32:41 PM EDT
[#41]
Forgiveness is devine, but never pay full price for cold pizza.
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