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Posted: 12/27/2012 7:28:55 PM EDT
It's better to be seen than viewed.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:33:22 PM EDT
My favorite: A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:34:48 PM EDT
No one leaves life alive.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:35:21 PM EDT
"Owww My BAlls!!"
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:36:22 PM EDT
She cried and the Judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:37:50 PM EDT
said by my buddy to a RO about rapid firing.

You never said I was shooting too fast when I was in Iraq!!
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:38:02 PM EDT
YOU PRIVATES MOVIN SLOWERN SMOKE OFF A TURD!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:38:23 PM EDT
I would lick her asshole with no shower.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:39:00 PM EDT
He can get glad in the same pants he got mad in.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:40:30 PM EDT
go away batin.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:41:05 PM EDT
If he had two brains he'd be twice as stupid...

Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:42:13 PM EDT
Originally Posted By FrankDrebin:
My favorite: A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


Well done.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:43:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2012 7:43:59 PM EDT by ACEB36TC]
'Compromise is a formula for mediocrity,,,mediocrity is a formula for failure" Original by me. FBHO
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:45:05 PM EDT
Arguing on Facebook is like racing in the special Olympics. Even if you win you are still a retard
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:47:11 PM EDT
fuck obama
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:49:15 PM EDT
There once was a man from Nantucket.....
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:54:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2012 7:56:37 PM EDT by P08]
Sometimes Malvert pee red.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:57:55 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 7:58:00 PM EDT
You can't fix stupid.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:02:50 PM EDT
My father used to say, when he saw something he desired: "I wish I had that and she had a feather up her ass, we'd both be tickled".

I say it too, now.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:04:10 PM EDT
One of ARFCOMs favorite....


If it flies, floats or fucks....you rent it.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:05:18 PM EDT
Play stupid games--win stupid prizes
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:06:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2012 8:07:31 PM EDT by johnnypantz]
Originally Posted By S-28:
"Owww My BAlls!!"

go away, batin



dammit
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:07:35 PM EDT
Women are like dog shit, the older they get, the easier they are to pick up.









Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:07:36 PM EDT
Don't sweat the petty stuff.

Just pet the sweaty stuff.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:07:42 PM EDT
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:07:47 PM EDT

"The word "politics” is derived from the word "poly,” meaning many, and "ticks,” meaning blood sucking parasites.”

Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:10:34 PM EDT
Damn, it's rainin' like a two cunted cow pissin' on a flat rock.


A favorite of my old boss.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:11:21 PM EDT
If at first you don't succeed....

Try something easier...
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:13:34 PM EDT
PRO is for and CON is against...

If PROgress is to move forward, what is CONgress?
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:14:20 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 55sixer:
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese



The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.



Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:14:22 PM EDT
Yes I do have a match. Your face and my ass.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:16:22 PM EDT
You move like old people fuck!
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:16:57 PM EDT
"That boy's about as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel o' oatmeal." - Foghorn Leghorn
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:18:32 PM EDT
"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on."


- R. Kelly's date
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:20:44 PM EDT
Lick dees nuts and suck da dick, bitches ain't nutin but hoes and tricks.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:20:51 PM EDT
Dont let your dick run your life, you will be much happier in the end.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:29:36 PM EDT
Whilst stuck driving behind some slo-poke... My buddy utters...

'Fuckin guy probably has nowhere to go and all day to get there.

Often heard in a prison setting...
They're as solid as a soup sandwich....
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:34:13 PM EDT
Here's my comeback, my cum going down the back of your throat.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:40:59 PM EDT
"No rest for the wicked and the good don't need it" - my dad
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:41:33 PM EDT
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:47:43 PM EDT
"No matter where you go, there you are." - Somebody. Prior to Buckaroo Banzai.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:47:47 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Girlieman:
If at first you don't succeed....

Try something easier...


If at first you don't succeed ...

skydiving isn't for you.



As fucked up as a football bat.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:49:36 PM EDT
Looks like the only thing I can count on is I can't count on you
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:50:49 PM EDT
The day waits for no man
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:53:42 PM EDT
Martini's are like nipples. One's not enough and three's too many.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:55:58 PM EDT
That makes a tear run right down my leg.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 8:56:17 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Rustyprop:
Yes I do have a match. Your face and my ass.


Winnie?
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 9:21:28 PM EDT
All foam, no beer.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 9:25:32 PM EDT
Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining.
Link Posted: 12/27/2012 9:26:30 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Hotdizzle:
All foam, no beer.


All hat, no cowboy.
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