A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the government,
complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents
(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional
System facilities. She received back the following reply:

National Defence Headquarters
George R. Pearkes Bldg,
101 Colonel Genby Drive
Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter
expressing your profound concern
of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by
Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the
Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan
officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your
opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be
pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like
yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department
of National Defense, to be called "Liberals Accept Responsibility
for Killers" program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have
decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal
care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled
for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in
Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just
call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you
personally demanded in your letter of complaint.

It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant
caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that
your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you
so strongly recommend in your letter. Although Ahmed is a
sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to
what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him
overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in
describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We
understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand
combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a
pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to
demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also
expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
household products, so you may wish
to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this
might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters
(except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of
property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and
he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who
fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as
more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the
anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it
is all part of "respecting his culture and religious beliefs" as
described in your letter.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks
like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and
care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and
remember, we'll be watching.

Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,

Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense



Not sure if this is true or not, but it sure is funny

Forwarding that to my friend in Toronto