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Posted: 5/14/2001 10:04:59 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2001 10:08:50 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/14/2001 7:17:53 PM EDT
That's a good one!!! I think I'll try it next time I get pulled over. [b][size=6]NOT[/size=6][/b] COLTSHORTY GOA KABA COA JPFO SAF NRA "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
Link Posted: 5/14/2001 7:57:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/14/2001 7:58:22 PM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:02:52 PM EDT
Reminds me of the time a man was stopped at a safety check roadblock in southern Texas. The officer noticed that the man was wearing his seatbelt. Officer: "Congratulations. You're the 200th person stopped today who is wearing a seatbelt. Here is a gift certificate for $200 good at any shop in town." Driver: "Hey thanks. Maybe I can use that to get some driving lessons so I can get a license." Wife in passenger seat (hitting driver with her purse): "Don't mind him officer. He always talks crazy when he's drunk." The driver takes offense at this and starts bickering with his wife. This wakes up the guy in back. GIB (seeing the cop): "Sheet! I told you we shouldn't have tried to use a stolen car. Now we're busted." Cop gets them all out of the car and handcuffed. He walks over to the trunk and raps on it saying "You got a key for this?" Voice from inside the trunk: "Are we over the border yet?"
Link Posted: 5/16/2001 5:13:22 PM EDT
The Absolute Worst Things to Say to a Police Officer Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things better left unsaid. Hey, you must've been doing' at least 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated? Hi Officer, Do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver's license? You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. "Bad Cop! No Donut!" I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far I am behind the other cars. You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? "Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow" Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS" last week on TV? I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket So, uh, you "on the take", or what? Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too! Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little? Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum. When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the video camcorder. Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds? Hunter out...
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