Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
Posted: 9/5/2004 4:03:06 PM EST
Deciding he needed a more "Common Man" touch, John Kerry bought a farm just like G.W. Bush's ranch.

Deciding to practice before welcoming the press he went for a walk in the pasture.
During his walk he was thinking up new lies to tell about Vietnam, when he felt something gooey under foot. Looking down he saw a fresh pile of steaming cow crap on his foot.

He ran back to the house and screamed at Teresa Kerry to come quick and drive him to the hospital.
When she asked why, he pointed to his cow shit covered shoe and yelled,
"Can't you see? I'm MELTING".
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:12:04 PM EST
He's made of worse than cow shit, cow shit aint that bad, you could eat it if you were hungry enough. Should have made it cat shit thats about what he is made of.
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:13:36 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:25:37 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:27:46 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:33:35 PM EST
Yippy stinkin' ky-yay, cow-paddy!
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:54:00 PM EST
hehehehheheheheh
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 4:59:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By TexasRooter:
He's made of worse than cow shit, cow shit aint that bad, you could eat it if you were hungry enough. Should have made it cat shit thats about what he is made of.



Am I the only one that finds this a bit odd?
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:05:20 PM EST
Kerry is a sportsman too He was on the news last night sprting a shotgun, looking for the Gun Owner Votes
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:07:21 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:10:16 PM EST

Originally Posted By brasspile:

Originally Posted By dpmmn:
Kerry is a sportsman too He was on the news last night sprting a shotgun, looking for the Gun Owner Votes



Unless it was a SPAS-12, Shotguns do not count.



I dunno, if 60 Minutes was touring his house and found a street sweeper or a Benelli entry gun in the closet, I'd be impressed. I wouldn't vote for him, but I'd be impressed.
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:10:40 PM EST
i thought he was made out of chicken shit?
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:15:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

Originally Posted By brasspile:

Originally Posted By dpmmn:
Kerry is a sportsman too He was on the news last night sprting a shotgun, looking for the Gun Owner Votes



Unless it was a SPAS-12, Shotguns do not count.



I dunno, if 60 Minutes was touring his house and found a street sweeper or a Benelli entry gun in the closet, I'd be impressed. I wouldn't vote for him, but I'd be impressed.



But it would be ok for him to have those guns, hes not a lowly peasant like us.
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:28:03 PM EST
Kerry shot a dove that landed across the fence on his neighbors property. As he was climbing the fence the crusty old neighbor man drove up in his pickup and asked Kerry what the hell he thought he was doing. Kerry told him he was retrieving his dove and the old man said that aint how we do it here sonny boy. If a bird falls dead over the fence the landowner gets to hit the shooter three times as hard as he can, then the shooter gets to do the same to the landowner. The man that was left fit enough to retrieve the bird was the winner. Kerry figures this old man can't have much in him and he, Kerry, was a Vietnam vet and tough as bootleather so WTF.

The old man punched Kerry in the gut and doubled him over. Then he kicked him in the teeth and straightened him back up. The third blow was a kick in the cods.

Kerry huffed and spit out some teeth and said to the old timer OK now it's my turn!

The old man waved his hand at Kerry and said fuckit, you can have the bird.

Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:31:20 PM EST
LOL!!!
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 5:37:14 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/5/2004 7:27:00 PM EST

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:

Originally Posted By brasspile:

Originally Posted By dpmmn:
Kerry is a sportsman too He was on the news last night sprting a shotgun, looking for the Gun Owner Votes



Unless it was a SPAS-12, Shotguns do not count.



I dunno, if 60 Minutes was touring his house and found a street sweeper or a Benelli entry gun in the closet, I'd be impressed. I wouldn't vote for him, but I'd be impressed.



It still wouldn't impress me, nor would I vote for that piece of shit
Top Top