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11/22/2017 10:05:29 PM
Posted: 9/7/2004 6:01:38 PM EST
Sorry if this is a dupe. For your perusal....


>JOB APPLICATION
>
>NAME: John Kerry
>
>RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions.
>
>EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>
>Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense
>bill in my career as a US Senator I ordered Boston to remove a fire
>hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in
>the event of fire.
>
>MILITARY:
>
>I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from
>the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending
>doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting
>the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed
>atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or
>something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans
>Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the
>military.
>
>COLLEGE:
>
>I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
>counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
>admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
>
>PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
>I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no
>real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz
>vicariously through my wife Teresa.
>
>ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
>
>As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
>exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently
>failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus
>gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for
>the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for
>it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan
>to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am
>elected.
>
>My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he
>will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and
>have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite
>family wealth in excess of $ 700 million.
>
>I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
>places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
>cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I Blame George Bush
>for sending all of the jobs out of Country.
>
>Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
>Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as
>it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
>
>RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>
>None.
>
>PERSONAL
>
>I ride a Serotta Bike.
>
>My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
>
>I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".
>
>I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
>culture.
>
>I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer
>mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and
>blame George Bush for the energy problems.
>
>PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
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