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Posted: 9/10/2004 6:28:19 AM EDT

(Cambridge, Massachusetts) -- Speaking before a packed audience at the Josef Stalin School of Political Economy of Harvard University, Democrat Presidential candidate John Forge Kerry said this morning that he will "forge on" even though polls show that he is only leading in Massachusetts, the District of Columbia, and the 15th Arondissement of Paris.

"I'm not going to sit back and let George W. Bush make this great country of ours free of terrorism," said Kerry as he read from a speech cribbed from a George McGovern address delivered on April 21, 1972. "George W. Bush has repeatedly lied to America, and I will continue to alter documents to prove my case."

Students in the audience responded enthusiastically to Kerry's speech and announced that they will be conducting a voter registration drive for illegal aliens, French tourists, people with more than one alias, and patriotic citizens who believe it is their duty to vote as many times as possible in an election.

In related news, officials at Yale University, Kerry's alma mater, said that they have begun an official investigation about allegations that Kerry's Senior Thesis, entitled "The Brothers Karamazov," may have been plagiarized.
Link Posted: 9/10/2004 6:31:48 AM EDT
You better watch it. That pic shows nipple, and nipple showing will get you banned.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:57:35 PM EDT
time to bump this back into play
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 3:59:46 PM EDT
[Higgins] Oh...my...GOD! [/Higgins]

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