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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 2/25/2006 7:21:03 PM EDT
Who wins?

Talk about two contrasting styles!

Bond: suave, debonair, never a hair out of place...never raises his voice, just makes little jokes as he shoots people with his .380 pocket pistol... Licensed to kill.

Baur: Unshaven, scruffy, sweatstained...is either whispering or shouting, will torture someone or shoot them with no comment with his .45...not licensed to kill bot does so anyway.

Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:21:33 PM EDT
A tie in 87 rounds
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:23:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/25/2006 7:23:42 PM EDT by Tomislav]
Bond: Metrosexual nancy-boy.

Bauer: Would torture the needed info out of Bond, then shoot him. No laser-watch escapes for James this time!
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:23:55 PM EDT
How could you even ask such a question?

Occasionally, on those rare occasions when Bond bangs a girl who merely rates a 9.9 he lets Jack Bauer have his sloppy seconds. That's how much better Bond is than Jack Bauer.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:24:29 PM EDT
While Bond is trying to get his new gadgets to work, Jack would simply pull out his handgun and blow him away.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:24:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By happycynic:
How could you even ask such a question?

Occasionally, on those rare occasions when Bond bangs a girl who merely rates a 9.9 he lets Jack Bauer have his sloppy seconds. That's how much better Bond is than Jack Bauer.







+1
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:25:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tomislav:
Bond: Metrosexual nancy-boy.

Bauer: Would torture the needed info out of Bond, then shoot him. No laser-watch escapes for James this time!



Not to mention Bauer isn't stupid enough to reveal his evil plan to Bond and leave him to be killed by some half witted minion.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:25:53 PM EDT
Chuck norris.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:29:20 PM EDT
With "Q" on your team, how COULD you lose?
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:32:37 PM EDT
Bauer would put Bond's pussy ass down in about 3 seconds.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:41:14 PM EDT
When you say James Bond, are you talking about Sean Connery- James Bond or the mamby-pamby wanna-bes that came after? 'Cause if you're talking about Sean Connery- James Bond, he could take Jack Bauer without breaking a sweat. If you're talking about the wanna-bes... all bets are off.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 7:58:49 PM EDT
Jack Bauer can drive a manual transmission. The new Bond "drives stick".
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:04:51 PM EDT
Bond, James Bond.


Dumb question
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:05:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Short-n-sweet:
When you say James Bond, are you talking about Sean Connery- James Bond or the mamby-pamby wanna-bes that came after? 'Cause if you're talking about Sean Connery- James Bond, he could take Jack Bauer without breaking a sweat. If you're talking about the wanna-bes... all bets are off.



Bauer would drop Connery's hairy ass like a sack of shit.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:27:39 PM EDT
I would bet M could kick Bauer's Ass (either the new chick M or the old geezer M).
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:30:07 PM EDT
Well, Jack Bauer seems to me to be a more egalitarian kind of guy than Bond.

Aside from Nina Myers, Jack seems to give his attention to some less-than-stunning women.

Bond, on the other hand, is a right elitist. Typical upper-class British snob I say.


Though how this reflects on their fighting ability I cannot say.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:33:21 PM EDT
No problem with that pussy they picked to play Bond this time around. He would tell Jack that "he doesn't like guns" and Jack will say, " yeah me neither, they make too much noise!"

Then Jack proceeds to cut one of the new Bond's eyes out for information.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:39:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/25/2006 8:40:21 PM EDT by hanibal]
Jack would yell DAMMIT! after some random broad shot Bond before Jack is done "questioning" him.


ETA: then he'd call Chloe.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:51:43 PM EDT
Bond is too cool for the fucking BEATLES! That tops Bauer any day.


"My dear girl there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Pérignon '53 above a temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs."


Also, Bauer's balls are always in some chick's lockbox. Let's imagine a scenario: Some woman gets all weepy when the world is in jeopardy.

Bauer: <sniff, sniff> But it was good of the country! <eyes puffy>

Bonds: <smacks ass> Say goodbye, so-and-so. Man-talk.

The whole idea is ridiculous. A chick in the Bond paradigm is either to seduce some crucial information, to show up his adversary, or to take a breather when he's not kicking ass. Diversion versus drama. Fine. There. I'm a sexist.
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 8:54:15 PM EDT
Bondage, James Bondage....
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 9:57:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:

Originally Posted By Short-n-sweet:
When you say James Bond, are you talking about Sean Connery- James Bond or the mamby-pamby wanna-bes that came after? 'Cause if you're talking about Sean Connery- James Bond, he could take Jack Bauer without breaking a sweat. If you're talking about the wanna-bes... all bets are off.



Bauer would drop Connery's hairy ass like a sack of shit.


I disagree, but you're entitled to your own opinion, even if it's wrong.
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 9:59:20 AM EDT
Bauer with his SIG P228 of course! Bond is a homo.
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 10:23:15 AM EDT
Lets see.

Bond uses what a PPK? or a PPKS? seems kinda gun specific

Bond has "gadgets"

Bond is cool under pressure.

Bond uses viagra.

There have been alteast 5 Bonds there is only 1 Jack Bauer.

Bauer uses whatever means necessary. Sig, Glock, HK, M4, knife, electical wire from a lamp.

Bauer has come back from the dead once so far.

Bauer has survived an nuclear bomb.

Bauer has killed and decapitated a federal prisoner a) because it was the right thing to do b) because he can.

Bauer wins hands down. Not that I dont enjoy watching Bond but Bauer wins hands down.

Link Posted: 2/26/2006 10:28:18 AM EDT
Seriously, think about it.

Bond always goes up against cartoonish-like characters. Ones who always rig some type of gizmo up to kill him when the saw blade starts to turn after the candle has burned down far enough to burn the rope in half that will drop the weight that will cause the bowling ball to roll down the gutter and push the start button on the saw.

Bauer rules!
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 1:15:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrMurphy:
Lets see.

Bond uses what a PPK? or a PPKS? seems kinda gun specific

Bond has "gadgets"

Bond is cool under pressure.

Bond uses viagra.

There have been alteast 5 Bonds there is only 1 Jack Bauer.

Bauer uses whatever means necessary. Sig, Glock, HK, M4, knife, electical wire from a lamp.

Bauer has come back from the dead once so far.

Bauer has survived an nuclear bomb.

Bauer has killed and decapitated a federal prisoner a) because it was the right thing to do b) because he can.

Bauer wins hands down. Not that I dont enjoy watching Bond but Bauer wins hands down.




Bauer has now also survived nerve gas.
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 1:24:19 PM EDT
Jack Bauer makes Bond look like a girl. I mean, come on -- Bond carries a .380 for God's sake.
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 1:29:04 PM EDT
Which bond are we talking about?

If it is Sean Connery then definatly bond, otherwise Bauer
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 2:40:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By triburst1:
Bauer would put Bond's pussy ass down in about 3 seconds.



+1


Baur in about how long it takes to pistol whip and then shoot Bond in one of his knees
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