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Posted: 5/8/2004 10:51:17 PM EST
is this completely and totally insane?

Wife and I are having our parents over for dinner later today. We also invited her brother, his wife, and their two kids.

So we're out yesterday buying supplies for today's festivities. I leave her to buy the cards for our mothers. She walks up to me with three cards.

Me: "What's the third card for?"

Her: "It's for (sister-in-law)."

Me: "WHAT?"

Her: "She's a mother too."

Me: "Why the hell do we need to give a card to (sister-in-law)??? She's nothing to us!"

Her: "But she's a mother too...and I wouldn't feel right giving cards to our mothers and not give her one."

Me: "With that logic, I guess we need to start giving everyone birthday cards whenever someone has a birthday. Sure wouldn't want to make anyone feel left out!"

Her: "She'll read something into it if we don't get her a card."

Me: "Let those two kids get her a card. Heck, we might as well buy cards for our aunts as well, since they're mothers too!"

So she's giving her sister-in-law a Mother's Day card, despite the fact that she pretty much can't stand the wench. I don't know how in the world her husband puts up with her. She doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, half the time she acts like she wants nothing to do with her children (ages 2.5 years, 2 months). They barely remember my wife's birthday and never remember mine. But the wife has to get them both a gift and a card.

Am I crazy or is my wife going off the deep end? Jeez, sometimes I just want to hit her with my hat.
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:03:14 PM EST
These days it seems people send/give cards to anyone for anything. My mother wanted to send easter cards WTF?
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:04:39 PM EST
I say you need to go on dr. phil's show.
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:05:57 PM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
I say you need to go on dr. phil's show.



Fuck Dr. Phil and the horse (Oprah) he rode in on.

I'd rather watch Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno muffdiving than watch Phil's show.
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:10:28 PM EST
No it's not insane . Your wife has tact and class.
Say you are sorry to her , and remeber it when the chips are down.
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:12:41 PM EST

Originally Posted By Kodiak-AK:
No it's not insane . Your wife has tact and class.
Say you are sorry to her , and remeber it when the chips are down.



yup. let the wife do her card thing.

deep down you know its stupid and a waste of time.
just keep that part to yourself. as your wife feels like she is doing a nice thing.
Link Posted: 5/8/2004 11:28:31 PM EST
There must be some serious underlying issues going on if a mere card would bring about such conflict.

Peace be with you.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:30:32 AM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
There must be some serious underlying issues going on if a mere card would bring about such conflict.

Peace be with you.


Holy shit, I agree with Imbroglio
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:32:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By Burley:
Is it just me, or...



Yes ! It has always been you and, for one, I am sick and tired of it "always being you" !
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:37:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
There must be some serious underlying issues going on if a mere card would bring about such conflict.

Peace be with you.


Holy shit, I agree with Imbroglio



Oddly, this is happening more and more.

Thanks for coming back to "nearly normal-ish" Imbro!
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:38:11 AM EST

Originally Posted By Burley:


I'd rather watch Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno muffdiving




You do have issues, don't you.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:41:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By wetidlerjr:

Originally Posted By Burley:
Is it just me, or...



Yes ! It has always been you and, for one, I am sick and tired of it "always being you" !



Yeah, that is a pretty lame cliche, isn't it?

I just don't see the point or purpose in giving a Mother's Day card to her friggin sister-in-law. As far as I'm concerned, a Mother's Day card goes to a.)Your Mother OR b.) your grandmother (in most cases).

Mother's Day is a day to honor YOUR mother, not just mothers in general. Hey, if they're a mother, they most likely have a child to honor them. We're all someone's child, no? I see no purpose or logic in giving a card to your sister-in-law.

No, I don't really care for her brother or his wife, but that's another story for another day.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:42:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By osprey21:

Originally Posted By Burley:


I'd rather watch Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno muffdiving




You do have issues, don't you.



I have issues with Phil McGraw the dicklicker.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:43:55 AM EST

Originally Posted By Imbroglio:
There must be some serious underlying issues going on if a mere card would bring about such conflict.

Peace be with you.



What conflict? It was a conversation in a small five & dime. Got me worked up a bit because she's always doing stuff like this.

But hell, I paid fifty cents for that stupid fucking card. It is my God-given right to get pissed off about it.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 12:59:57 AM EST
I give my wife a Mothers Day card and this year, a nice bottle of perfume. Although we have kids (all grown and gone) we never had any together, so what's the point? If it makes her feel good then that's all the reason I need. It's pretty easy and cheap compared to all she's done for me over the years.
Link Posted: 5/9/2004 1:12:12 AM EST
1. You are right that Mother's Day is for offspring to honor their Moms, and since Sis-In-Law is mother to neither of you, there is no obligation.

2. It's just a card. When you put it into perspective, it's a pretty small matter and not worth fighting over. Let it go.

3. Your wife is being considerate of your sister-in-law and wants her to feel that she belongs. Not a bad thing.

Take a deep breath, slowly exhale, relax, and let it go. It's not a big deal.

Save your stress and adrenaline for important stuff.
Link Posted: 5/10/2004 6:59:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By Taxman:
These days it seems people send/give cards to anyone for anything. My mother wanted to send easter cards WTF?

I know people who observe an Easter gift exchange.
When I was growing up, if my parents could get us kids cleaned up and into clean, pressed clothes and smiling for a picture, they called it a successful day and left it alone.
Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:03:00 AM EST
Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:06:38 AM EST
If that's what gets you layed, let the wife buy all the cards she wants!
Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:20:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By Burley:
Her: "She'll read something into it if we don't get her a card."
...
So she's giving her sister-in-law a Mother's Day card, despite the fact that she pretty much can't stand the wench.



So what she is really saying is that she wants to give her a Mother's Day card so that she wouldn't read the true feelings, which are your wife really doesn't like her.

Why do women always hide their true feelings while pretending everything is ok but talking trash about someone behind their back?


Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:27:32 AM EST

Originally Posted By Taxman:
These days it seems people send/give cards to anyone for anything. My mother wanted to send easter cards and we're all Jewish WTF?

Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:30:34 AM EST
She's just trying to keep a family get together running smooth and avoiding hurt feelings.
Thats her job, let her do it.

Fifty Cents?
Link Posted: 5/10/2004 7:39:58 AM EST
Playing family politics is an, unfortunately, important game. Look at it this way, even if she doesn't like her sister-in-law, that woman controls her access to her brother. If 50 cents is enough to smooth things over and make her relationship to her brother easier, then it is money well worth spending.

I have 2 step mothers. My father's second wife was an insanely crazy B$%^h, who treated my brother and I horribly growing up. HOWEVER, even though she doesn't call me or send me cards or wish me a happy birthday or anything like that, she has custody of my third little brother, who is 13. In my younger days, especially after her and my father divorced, I felt no obligation to be nice to her. As a result, she refused to let me see my little brother. Having matured a bit, I learned that for the small effort that it takes me to grin and bear it, be nice, and call her on Mother's Day to wish her a happy one, even when I want to say something else instead, she has mellowed out a lot and now lets me see my little bro whenever I want. Same goes with my father's current wife. I have developed a strong relationship with her daughter, who is basically the sister I always wanted growing up. A little bit of niceness to her, even if I don't really feel it, lets me see my little brother when he is visiting them, and also lets me visit my step-sister whenever I want.

Basically, it doesn't take much effort, and I just keep reminding myself that I am the better person. I choose my battles. If pretending to be nice lets me see my family, then it is well worth it, otherwise, I and my younger brother and sister all lose out.

So look at it that way. The role of playing family politics has typically been the role of women, who look at the bigger picture. Family is family, and she is just probably doing what she thinks is necessary to help keep the family together. Its the little things that matter to women, and your wife probably understands that more than you, simply because she is a woman. If I were you, I would understand that, and since its only a 50 cent investment, let her play her role
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