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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/17/2005 9:41:07 PM EDT
The neighbor
So my neighbor is 21, just got married last month. Has no job. Wife has no job, (doesn't want a job). They live in his 10x10 room at his parents house, have 3 dogs, 3 rabbits, 9 hamsters, and a cat. She's really pushing for a pet calf.
He has $2 to his name... literally. Owes $5K on his truck, owes me $500. He wakes up about noon every day, and just gets ideas in his head.

He gets ideas like, "Man, I need me a hot-rod!" So he trades a running '85 Jeep Cherokee for a '69 or so Mustang rusted body that is sitting in a swamp, because he thinks he's going to get an engine and turn it into a mean hot rod like on "Gone in 60 seconds."
So after 6 months it gets dry enough to winch the Mustang body onto a trailer. It sat at his grandparents for a year and then he just threw it out in the woods because they were tired at looking at that nasty thing.

Or ideas like... "Man, I need me a house. So he borrows some money from his parents, runs out and buys a run-down trailer and trades $500 and a go-kart for it. It's sat there for 2 months because he has no money to finish it and is still paying off the $500. So... they are still at his parents and will be for a loonng time.

Or ideas like, "Man, there's an old rusty antique tractor for sale for $500! I'm gonna buy it, spray paint it, and I'll get $2K for that mamajamma!"

I don't think I have to tell you how that turned out.

Or the other day when he got offered $800 to paint our other neighbor's little house. He accepts, but instead of going over there to paint, he spends 3 hours riding around on a 4 foot tall donkey. 3 hours... going in circles in the front yard.

Did I mention he has no job?

This morning
So my redneck neighbor wakes up this afternoon, and calls me talking about how he is just twinking to buy a bow.
I told him I had a little 10 year old black bear bow. Saw Robin Hood and just had to have it...

So I dig out the bow that hasn't been touched in 10 years. He comes over, we go out in the yard against a hill (I live on a farm), I put a leaf on the hill, we go back about 25 yards, I shoot, and bingo... stick the leaf right on the money first try.

He looks at me and goes, "Dammmmn!" So I shoot a few more, all within 12" of each other I guess. Not great, but good for not having shot in 10 years with a weak bow that has the string coming apart. (Even back then I shot it for about 2 days and then put it away."

So he shoots, gets a spread of about 6 feet.

The Impulse
So after he trades his chainsaw to a friend for another Black Bear bow, he convinces me to go to Bass Pro and get it re-strung. I take it up there, and long story short, I end up walking out with a new $230 bow, 3-pin nightsight, & quiver.

The aftershock
So we walk out to the parking lot, and my neighbor, says to me, "Man, I can't believe you just bought a new bow." I sat there for a second and it hit me...

Anyone else just see cool stuff they don't need and just "have" to get it? I save most of my money, but from time to time I just can't resist and IMPULSE BUY!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:45:36 PM EDT
WTF, I thought my train of thought was messed up.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:46:10 PM EDT
Impulse buying is a trait that you and your neighbor share.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:48:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
Impulse buying is a trait that you and your neighbor share.



Did you ride the donkey too? People tend to be similar to their friends. They share traits and common outlooks. Thats why they are friends and hang out together.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:53:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 9:55:54 PM EDT by REALM]

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Barrelburner:
Impulse buying is a trait that you and your neighbor share.



Did you ride the donkey too? People tend to be similar to their friends. They share traits and common outlooks. Thats why they are friends and hang out together.



Actually everyone asks how in the world we are friends. We are exact opposites.

I'm still in college getting my Bachelor's but am making a good $50K / year as a Tech Analyst and System Administrator. I've been with one girl my whole life, and am a pretty religious guy.

My neighbor has no job, married a girl who dropped out of high school, has no money to his name, has been with more women than I can count, & is one of the most vulgar people I know as far as his train of thought goes.

With that said... whenever I really need someone, he drops everything and is there for me.

Weird how we can be such good friends.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:53:43 PM EDT
I to suffer from impulse buys......however I impulse buy stocks and dabble in real estate.....ya gotta impulse buy stuff thats worth something...... thats the trick!
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:55:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By REALM:
Actually everyone asks how in the world we are friends. We are exact opposites.

I'm still in college getting my Bachelor's but am making a good $50K / year as a Tech Analyst and System Administrator. I've been with one girl my whole life, and am a pretty religious guy.

My neighbor has no job, married a girl who dropped out of high school, has no money to his name, has been with more women than I can count, & is one of the most vulgar people I know as far as his train of thought goes.

With that said... whenever I really need someone, he drops everything and is there for me.

Weird how we can be such good friends.



Thats key, you were so busy beating up on him, you forgot his good traits. You cant buy loyalty and it looks like he has at least one screw in tight in his head.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:57:36 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 10:00:17 PM EDT by REALM]
Yea, everyone wonders why we hang out so much, and that's why. He's a real nut-case but if there's one person in the world outside family I trust my life with it's him. I've known him since I was in 4th grade so we are pretty much like brothers.

We just went in totally opposite directions.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 9:59:25 PM EDT
Nothing wrong with a good bow. Hope it wasn't another Black Bear though.

I like my Martin.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:00:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 10:03:27 PM EDT by EPOCH96]
Your neighbor sounds like my old college roommate! Would get these crazy impulse and develope a new hobby over night. Let's see if I can remember some of his more interesting thoughts...

1. Chainsaw carving...Bought a chainsaw, cut down a big tree for the trunk, left all the branches and crap in our backyard. Carving was supposed to be a bear but looked more like a mutant dog..

2. Remote controled helicopter... Bought one, despite never driving anything RC, managed to get it up into the air, I MEAN WAY UP IN THE AIR. Lost control and it went down somewhere in the next county I think, we never found it.

3. Kayaking... Went river kayaking with some friends, he bought one the next weekend. Spend numerous afternoons watching him almost drown while trying to learn how to do an eskimo roll (flipping yourself back over while underwater) in my neighbor's pool. That's the only water the kayak ever saw.

4. Ham radio... Spent tons of money on a radio set, not 100% sure he even had his license, after a couple of weeks it just sat there... He was "tired of listening to all the dumbasses"

Could spend a couple more hours describing all the vehicles he had. In the four years of college I swear he had at least 6 different vehicles. Started with a nice truck and slowly worked he way down to a busted up, old, shitty harley that required 10 minutes of warming up before you could ride it. So the moron would get up in the morning and rev that freak'n hog for 10 minutes pissing off the whole neighborhood, so he could go to his 8AM class.

EPOCH



Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:07:07 PM EDT
From the start of the story I was figuring that you were gonna buy a bow to eliminate all the animals he has running around. That was the direction I was hoping for anyway
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:09:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/17/2005 10:17:25 PM EDT by REALM]
Oh man, you brought up vehicles:
Chronology of the Redneck Neighbor vehicles (complete list is 19 of 'em, but I can't remember all of them):

15 years old: Gets his uncle's Nissan Sentra and named it the silver bullet. Lasted a couple months.
15 years old: Gets his grandmother's Turbocharged '86 LeBaron. Put it in a ditch running from cops.
16 years old: Gets an El Camino. Sat in garage a few months, he never drove it.
16 years old: Gets a '93 Ford Ranger. Flipped it in front of his high-school
17 years old: '88 Ranger: Tore it apart for parts
17 years old: '87 F-150: "The Blue Mule" Blew the engine
18 years old: '86 Chevy pickup: sold it to a poor family
20 years old: 'xx Fullsize Ranger: Blew engine, still sitting in yard
20 years old: '93 S-10: Hot-rod project: Chopped roof trying to make it a hot-rod... went to the dump
20 years old: 'xx Chevelle: Hot-rod project: Sat for months, went to junkyard
21 years old: 'xx Mustang: Hot-rod project: Sat for months, went to the woods
19 years old: '02 Ranger: Been wrecked, but still surviving

Other transportation projects:

Moped:
Had to put gas in a milk jug and sit it between his legs with a tube to the gas tank. Ran for 3 miles.
Dirt Bikes:
Total of maybe 3, all ran for maybe 2 minutes
4-wheelers:
Had a few, none of them ran, then decided to build his own.
Build your own 4-wheeler:
Spent a good 2 months welding the frame, painting it, then put a motorcyle engine on it.
Ran for a few days, then it blew. Still sitting in the shed.
Go-karts:
Had several of these, no need to tell how they ended up.

Other money-making ideas:

Bought 15 chicks for .50 cents each. Was going to breed and sell as pets at Easter. All died in 3 days.
Bought 3 rabbits to breed. All of them are boys.
Bought a Hound Dog to breed. Still just sitting out in the yard.
Link Posted: 8/17/2005 10:27:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By REALM:
Or the other day when he got offered $800 to paint our other neighbor's little house. He accepts, but instead of going over there to paint, he spends 3 hours riding around on a 4 foot tall donkey. 3 hours... going in circles in the front yard.







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