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Posted: 10/6/2004 1:17:15 AM EST
I wouldn't fuss around with these small things - nuclear proliferation, hunger, aids, plate tektonics, the morality of my flock. Old news.

What would interest me, and really get my divine blood boiling, is why we have so many god damned kinds of spark plugs. Seriously. Why are there thousands and thousands of different spark plugs? I know a bit about them, and there's only a true need for about 20 different variants for cars. Hot, cold, in between, 3 different cores, a few different sizes.....that's it. But noooooooo, these fucking companies make 25,000 different varieties. And, isn't it just my keen luck that no one has the kind I need in stock. Own an '88 Yugo? Autozone's got you covered. Own my car? They can have them in next tuesday (read: 3 weeks maybe).

Oh, and let's try to figure out why the smartest minds in the auto industry can't R&D a car engine that takes a fuel/air/oil filter that ALREADY FUCKING EXISTS. Do we need a new 6" x 1" x 12" square air filter when there's already one that's .025" similar? Can't we just mold a new housing to fit that one? God damnit. I mean, damn me (being God for a day).

Same goes for furnace filters, watch batteries, etc.

What about pistol mags? Do you know how many are basically identical except for the cut-outs for a mag-release? Staggering. You know, after 1930, all single stack .45's should have used the same fucking mag. Same with 9mm. But nope, we have hundreds upon hundreds of nearly identical mags that won't interchange. Ugh.

Come to think of it, while I'm standardizing watch batteries and gun parts, I'm going to make every vagina on planet earth presicely 3mm smaller than the total volume of my wiener. Why do we have tiny little pies and big dorks, and every variation in between. Makes for a hell of a mess when it doesn't go right. If all our parts were, uh, milspec, we could focus on the more important issues like personality and can I post the pooper pics on ARF?

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. Someday I'll have god-like powers over life and death. Look out all you guys with big knobs. It won't be a pleasant Monday morning when I'm done with you, but the upside is your old lady's going to be tight as a marching snare.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:18:37 AM EST
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:19:21 AM EST
Um ok, drinking early?
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:24:05 AM EST

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........



First thing this god would do is smite the grammar nazis. Right after the genetalia fix that is.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:40:03 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/6/2004 1:40:22 AM EST by mjohn3006]

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........



First thing this god would do is smite the grammar nazis. Right after the genetalia fix that is.



Then...after that....would You capitalize Your name?
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:42:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........



First thing this god would do is smite the grammar nazis. Right after the genetalia fix that is.



Then...after that....would You capitalize Your name?



Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:47:24 AM EST

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........



First thing this god would do is smite the grammar nazis. Right after the genetalia fix that is.



Then...after that....would You capitalize Your name?



As I said, I have bigger issues than all the nitwits fawning at my greatness. I have some serious inequities to fix. Wait till I get through fixing fast food, unmanned checkout lines and Cher's film career. Things are gonna be waaay more fun with me in charge. Personally, I think our current lord-o-mighty is asleep at the wheel.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:52:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........



First thing this god would do is smite the grammar nazis. Right after the genetalia fix that is.



Then...after that....would You capitalize Your name?



As I said, I have bigger issues than all the nitwits fawning at my greatness. I have some serious inequities to fix. Wait till I get through fixing fast food, unmanned checkout lines and Cher's film career. Things are gonna be waaay more fun with me in charge. Personally, I think our current lord-o-mighty is asleep at the wheel.



At least our current Lord-O-Mighty capitalizes His name.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 1:53:39 AM EST
Ohhh Lawdy!!!
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:07:03 AM EST
A postage stamp.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:08:28 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:13:26 AM EST
If I were God, it would be a sad, sad day for the universe......
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:52:02 AM EST
If you were God, I'd be an atheist.

Nothing personal.



Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:57:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By PennvilleBill:
If you were God, you'd spell your name with a capital 'G'...........




If he were "G"od he would have devine right to spell his name however he likes. We would also be incapable of understanding his absolute perfect wisdom for doing so.
As we imperfect beings are incapable of understanding the absolute perfect reasoning that God has.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 2:58:26 AM EST

Originally Posted By luger355:

As we imperfect beings are incapable of understanding the absolute perfect reasoning that God has.



if that were true, he would be wasting his time with this post.



Link Posted: 10/6/2004 3:01:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By luger355:

As we imperfect beings are incapable of understanding the absolute perfect reasoning that God has.



if that were true, he would be wasting his time with this post.






this is true but perhapse he likes hanging around people that are obviously less intelligent then him
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 3:33:44 AM EST

Originally Posted By luger355:

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By luger355:

As we imperfect beings are incapable of understanding the absolute perfect reasoning that God has.



if that were true, he would be wasting his time with this post.






this is true but perhapse he likes hanging around people that are obviously less intelligent then him



You speaketh true wisdom. There's a place for you in the world I'm gonna run. The rest of these numbnuts are fooked, but you have a hot tub and a beach condo waiting.

I always wondered, seriously, if god (g) is amused that people have actually spent time arguing over the capitalization of his name. I know for a fact that he's responsible for great things every day, like making sure people score touchdowns and win Nascar races. I don't think he cares how we spell his name.

Oh wait...another masterstroke of brilliance...does he care if dyslexic people spell his name with a capital D?
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 3:35:06 AM EST
Wow. The world would be such a better place with you in charge!
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 3:45:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/6/2004 4:01:46 AM EST by luger355]

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By luger355:

Originally Posted By garandman:

Originally Posted By luger355:

As we imperfect beings are incapable of understanding the absolute perfect reasoning that God has.



if that were true, he would be wasting his time with this post.






this is true but perhapse he likes hanging around people that are obviously less intelligent then him



You speaketh true wisdom. There's a place for you in the world I'm gonna run. The rest of these numbnuts are fooked, but you have a hot tub and a beach condo waiting.

I always wondered, seriously, if god (g) is amused that people have actually spent time arguing over the capitalization of his name. I know for a fact that he's responsible for great things every day, like making sure people score touchdowns and win Nascar races. I don't think he cares how we spell his name.

Oh wait...another masterstroke of brilliance...does he care if dyslexic people spell his name with a capital D?




[homer simpson voice] WOO HOO [homer simpson voice]

Im all honesty i doubt it. I for one dont think absolute writen gramatical perfection is a sign +/- of intelligence
but rather just a set of rules that some egghead sez we gots to use.

being slightly dyslexic myself, I gotta ask though do i get a phat bank account and a trophy wrech to prance around the place all nudie to cook and clean for me?

Link Posted: 10/6/2004 4:15:39 AM EST
Well, it's just a good thing for us that you're not. And that I'm not, either.
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 4:24:41 AM EST
God, please fix:

Gunshow dealer price inflation
Ammo costs
Magazine incompatibility (STANAG pwns you)
Availability of the Shrike upper (WHY HAST THOU ABANDONED ME?!)
Full-auto legislation
Womenz not getting naked or hating firearms
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 6:37:58 AM EST
Now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

Link Posted: 10/6/2004 6:51:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
Now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are!






+1
Yes it is.........
Link Posted: 10/6/2004 7:28:52 AM EST
If I were god, I'd be thrilled that finally all the people in the world who are religious would finally have something real to worship instead of ancient mythology and supersticious nonsense.
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