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Link Posted: 3/9/2022 3:43:12 PM EDT
[#1]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
Every time I drop of my kids (like last night), it hits me as I drive home. I just feel utterly alone. There’s two or three people I text or chat with, but other than that I feel completely cut off from everyone I ever cared about.

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Dropping my Son off was always tough for me after I got divorced, that drive home did suck. I had my Son most of the time so eventually I took advantage of the free time while he was over there a few days.

It's crazy how no matter what we are going through, it's all in about how we look at the situation. We either sit there which only makes it worse or make ourselves get out and do something.  It's either said than done though.
Link Posted: 3/11/2022 3:28:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: ZoToL] [#2]
may not like rick and Morty,  but  it makes me realize were just all human. Your feelings are normal  none of you are alone, neither am i. Thou i feel so.  its our failure to realize.

Link Posted: 3/13/2022 10:20:15 AM EDT
[#3]
Snuggling my kids this morning. Yesterday was a huge struggle. One year since I signed the divorce papers. Part of my heart still grieves and try as I might it still hurts no matter what I do. Sat out on the end of our drive in my Jeep and just cried...didn’t want them
to know. Really struggling with legal issues, trying to find a positive goal or direction to concentrate on.



Link Posted: 3/13/2022 11:57:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 0llll0] [#4]
.nvm

Link Posted: 3/14/2022 2:47:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: ZoToL] [#5]
I walked eight or nine miles in a snow storm on Saturday, I needed time to think to myself.. what i often like, my coat was frozen I fell a few times someone worse off than me asked for cigarettes, i don't smoke, What i saw when i almost gave up next to the railroad tracks was I'm being weak I'm stronger than this  your stronger than this. Push on  in time it will be a bad memory  even thou is sure doesn't seem so now. And remember people deceive or use to cope with their issues and its important to build up your own self, we have rougher waters coming and now is not the time to give in, it be what they want.
Link Posted: 3/15/2022 11:48:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: WildBoar] [#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
Snuggling my kids this morning. Yesterday was a huge struggle. One year since I signed the divorce papers. Part of my heart still grieves and try as I might it still hurts no matter what I do. Sat out on the end of our drive in my Jeep and just cried...didn’t want them
to know. Really struggling with legal issues, trying to find a positive goal or direction to concentrate on.



View Quote

Your kids are your goal and direction man. My ex moved a bit when we got divorced.  I lived in a  tent, I slept on couches, I even slept in my ex inlaws garage just to be near my kids. Even when that stabilized she fucked me over at every chance.  Stick with it. I promise the payoff is worth it. My kids saw this and never forgot it and we are closer than ever even though they are now grown and on their own.  Back when we would exchange kids I would wave at them until the car disappeared over the horizon and my kids did the same. Even if I had to walk up the side of the embankment so they could see me and I them.  We still do.

Fuck just thinking back to those days is choking me up but it was all worth sticking through and carrying on. I promise man, its worth the struggle.
Link Posted: 3/15/2022 11:52:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: WildBoar] [#7]
Pretty good song that fits here

Staring at the pictures on your shelf
Saying "i wonder if i looked in the mirror, could i recognize myself?"
Cause suddenly, life is not so clear
I got scars on my body, they tell a story
With a heart stained in fear.
Could i ever bring myself to forgive my past?
And if i never did, i can't promise it will last.
And as i lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord
My soul to keep
If i should die before i wake
I pray the lord
My soul to take
I tell myself that i'm worth more than this.
Sayin "if i were to leave this world, i'd truly be missed"
Think of all the people you've made smile.
Just know that in their hearts
That you were worth their while


Link Posted: 3/16/2022 8:54:52 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WildBoar:

Your kids are your goal and direction man. My ex moved a bit when we got divorced.  I lived in a  tent, I slept on couches, I even slept in my ex inlaws garage just to be near my kids. Even when that stabilized she fucked me over at every chance.  Stick with it. I promise the payoff is worth it. My kids saw this and never forgot it and we are closer than ever even though they are now grown and on their own.  Back when we would exchange kids I would wave at them until the car disappeared over the horizon and my kids did the same. Even if I had to walk up the side of the embankment so they could see me and I them.  We still do.

Fuck just thinking back to those days is choking me up but it was all worth sticking through and carrying on. I promise man, its worth the struggle.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WildBoar:
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
Snuggling my kids this morning. Yesterday was a huge struggle. One year since I signed the divorce papers. Part of my heart still grieves and try as I might it still hurts no matter what I do. Sat out on the end of our drive in my Jeep and just cried...didn’t want them
to know. Really struggling with legal issues, trying to find a positive goal or direction to concentrate on.




Your kids are your goal and direction man. My ex moved a bit when we got divorced.  I lived in a  tent, I slept on couches, I even slept in my ex inlaws garage just to be near my kids. Even when that stabilized she fucked me over at every chance.  Stick with it. I promise the payoff is worth it. My kids saw this and never forgot it and we are closer than ever even though they are now grown and on their own.  Back when we would exchange kids I would wave at them until the car disappeared over the horizon and my kids did the same. Even if I had to walk up the side of the embankment so they could see me and I them.  We still do.

Fuck just thinking back to those days is choking me up but it was all worth sticking through and carrying on. I promise man, its worth the struggle.


Since this site doesn't have a like button.......

Glad I didn't have this struggle in raising my boys.  But, understand that literally this could be me too.  Good job dad.

Link Posted: 3/17/2022 6:23:03 AM EDT
[#9]
You’re a good man, WildBoar.

Last night was a struggle. I was texting a friend I used to work with and I just bared my soul. Told them I just wanted to give up. I talked about my ex and a lot of hurt and anger that I’ve always kept ramped down started to bubble up. I hate feeling anger towards anyone, and it scares me. Never fought with my ex wife, never violent. But yesterday I hated her. I mean hated her, wanted her to hurt, wanted her to suffer. And that just made me feel worse.

Everyone keeps saying ‘don’t feel sad, just forget it and move on with your life.’ I just don’t know how. If I go meet with friends or acquaintances I smile and chat and I’m a pleasant person. But then I go home and in the dark I feel like my insides have been ripped out and I’m just a hollow shell. When I still had therapy services through work I told the therapist and he said it would hurt less and less as time went on. I work at my new job and come home. I hug my daughter and make us dinner, then I go to bed, cry in the dark, hopefully fall asleep for a few hours then do it all over again. Is this my life now?
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 11:46:04 AM EDT
[#10]
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 3:38:03 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Admiral_Crunch:
https://www.ar15.com/forums/General/I-think-I-m-out-/5-2539768/

Anybody available to talk to Nick?
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Nah, site staff came in, goaded him into COC violations and then locked him.

pretty disgusting, TBH.

This place is swirling the gutter. I hope Pete knows what he bought
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 4:31:24 PM EDT
[#12]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By J-Pat:

Nah, site staff came in, goaded him into COC violations and then locked him.

pretty disgusting, TBH.

This place is swirling the gutter. I hope Pete knows what he bought
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By J-Pat:
Originally Posted By Admiral_Crunch:
https://www.ar15.com/forums/General/I-think-I-m-out-/5-2539768/

Anybody available to talk to Nick?

Nah, site staff came in, goaded him into COC violations and then locked him.

pretty disgusting, TBH.

This place is swirling the gutter. I hope Pete knows what he bought

Looks like the thread was locked, but Nick isn't locked.
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 4:48:16 PM EDT
[#13]
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Originally Posted By Admiral_Crunch:

Looks like the thread was locked, but Nick isn't locked.
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That's because nobody can see who's locked anymore. You have to get it from the horse's mouth.
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 6:25:18 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Intune69] [#14]
Please tell me they didn’t lock a man who is crying out for help and obviously lets what people think of him affect him deeply. No fucking way they locked him.  

ETA: Yep, locked him.  
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 7:14:09 PM EDT
[#15]
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Originally Posted By Intune69:
Please tell me they didn’t lock a man who is crying out for help and obviously lets what people think of him affect him deeply. No fucking way they locked him.  
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Yup, they did
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 7:54:49 PM EDT
[#16]
How do I find out who locked him? This could be really bad.
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 7:57:40 PM EDT
[#17]
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Originally Posted By Intune69:
How do I find out who locked him? This could be really bad.
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To far gone to repair, any further discussion will just result in locking this thread and further locks to members/threads, very sad
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 7:58:03 PM EDT
[#18]
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 8:17:56 PM EDT
[#19]
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Originally Posted By medicmandan:
Let's not muddy up this thread please.
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You got it.
Link Posted: 3/21/2022 9:42:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Sierra5] [#20]
Link Posted: 3/22/2022 2:33:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: EdAvilaSr] [#21]
Link Posted: 3/22/2022 2:56:00 PM EDT
[#22]
The Tuesday before Christmas, two days before he was to come home for college last Christmas, my 21 year old son took the Glock I sold him at a discount to protect himself and blew his heart out.  He was one of those who had everything to live for.  He was young, healthy, was going to graduate in 2022 with his BS in Accounting with honors, and on and on.

    For those committing suicide, I can tell you from the other side of the coin.  If you do end it, all you'll be doing is taking the pain you have, you'll be boxing it up and, the minute you end your life, that pain will be transferred from you to everyone who loves you.  It hurts so bad still, after three months it is just like it was yesterday.  The day after Christmas decades from now will be remembered the day of my son's memorial service.  His brothers still ache for him on a daily basis and I haven't even started talking about the pain his mother is feeling.  I know it will get better with time, but the fact remains I'll never see him again this side of Heaven.

    And so, if you are here and considering suicide, realize that you won't be ending the pain, you will just be transferring that pain to everyone who loves you.
Link Posted: 3/22/2022 10:19:23 PM EDT
[#23]
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Originally Posted By SRRhodesia:If you do end it, all you'll be doing is taking the pain you have, you'll be boxing it up and, the minute you end your life, that pain will be transferred from you to everyone who loves you
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That's the thing keeping me alive. I don't want to make anyone feel like I do.

And it's one of the things that keeps me up at night...I know there's people I care about that hurt like I do, and I wish there was a way to give me their pain. I know how broken I am (as in I made a therapist say Jesus Christ when he asked why I thought I was depressed), but I've figured out how to make it work for me. I just want them to be happy again.
Link Posted: 3/23/2022 7:59:40 AM EDT
[#24]
There are many times when I’ve  been on the brink of suicide and the thought of the effect it would have on my kids has kept me from following through.

Twice in 2020, in the depths of depression, I was convinced that they would be better off without me in their lives. I was sure that they’d be happier in a world where I didn’t exist. Now, rational, sober and logical, I know that’s not true. But in April and July of that year, I intentionally stuck a needle in my arm with what I was sure was enough to end me. Both times I survived. After July I never tried again, been clean ever since,  but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted.

There are times when I’m conflicted. The pain and the hurt is so great, the sadness and despair is so overwhelming that I want to just close my eyes and end it. At those times, my emotions struggle with that tiny voice of logic. My brain knows it would hurt and devastate my loved ones. My wounded heart argues that they’re better off without me, that they really would be relieved to be rid of me.
Link Posted: 3/24/2022 11:48:38 PM EDT
[#25]
So...does anybody have any tips on talking to your wife without her worrying about you?

Stuff's been getting dark again, and I'm actually trying to talk about it. But my wife gets upset and worried about me, but she doesn't understand that for half my life I've only stayed alive from pure spite and if depression is going to kill me, it better act like some real disease like cancer.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 5:15:26 AM EDT
[#26]
I’m not sure what your relationship is like with your wife. But I’d start by saying that she’s the person you swore an oath to when you were married. And say that you’re trying to reach out to her because of the love and trust that you had for each other when the two of you entered your marriage.

Tell her you’re struggling and reaching out is your way of dealing with your conflicted emotions BEFORE it reaches a stage that could hurt you and those you care about.

Honestly...most people don’t say anything until it’s really balls deep and yeah, by then it’s scary and many times, overwhelming to these who we turn to.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 9:06:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: grinning_bob] [#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By EdAvilaSr:
They locked him for implying he would dox a staff member

I take members who post here looking for help seriously when they seem to be suicidal AND I am NOT pleased at all when someone pretends to be in trouble because he wants attention or thinks it is funny to pretend to be having no desire to live.

Some members have stated that nickmemphis was "joking when he posted such a thread but that he "should be forgiven because that is his semi-autistic personality and if you knew him in real life we would understand"(paraphrased)

I do not like to take threats/implications of suicide -when alerted by other well meaning members- to find out after investigating and taking time to help, that it is someone's "semi-autistic" way of calling attention to himself for fun!


https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/I-think-I-m-out-/5-2539768/&page=1&anc=97875526#i97875526
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I should have kept my nose out of this issue.  Best wishes to all that are hurting.  

Bob

Link Posted: 3/26/2022 1:57:01 AM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
I’m not sure what your relationship is like with your wife. But I’d start by saying that she’s the person you swore an oath to when you were married. And say that you’re trying to reach out to her because of the love and trust that you had for each other when the two of you entered your marriage.

Tell her you’re struggling and reaching out is your way of dealing with your conflicted emotions BEFORE it reaches a stage that could hurt you and those you care about.

Honestly...most people don’t say anything until it’s really balls deep and yeah, by then it’s scary and many times, overwhelming to these who we turn to.
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Well, she's a dog person, and we've been together 13 years. I started it off with they say you can't love anyone if you don't love yourself, but look at dogs. I love her so much I've forgotten how much I hate myself. But I went with what I figured out marriage could handle...



We spent a minute talking about how I'm not good at understanding her love language, and of course it's something triggering because of my parents. But also, I work full time and I'm going to trade school. Trust me, I get how much doing housekeeping sucks, but on the flip side, I leave for work when its dark and it's dark when I come home. I'm gone from 6 in the morning to at least 9 at night. You would think I wouldn't have to dig through the laundry basket in the morning but I do.
Link Posted: 3/29/2022 11:49:40 PM EDT
[#29]
So I've been trying to figure out how to talk with my wife, and I had a breakthrough.


I was about 3 sheets to the wind and said something about how I'm getting to the point where I've been burning the candle at both ends; kind of sink or swim mentality.  I'm not good at talking, so I have to think a lot about what I'm going to say before I say it, which means if I want to try and talk about my depression and anxiety I have to think about it a lot. But I thought of a thing I probably saw on a fortune cookie or something tonight...

Attachment Attached File


I'm not going to bottle it up anymore, I'm just not going to dwell on how broken I am. This is probably the best I've felt in years.
Link Posted: 3/30/2022 12:26:45 AM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BornToLooze:

I'm not going to bottle it up anymore, I'm just not going to dwell on how broken I am. This is probably the best I've felt in years.
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Link Posted: 3/30/2022 11:32:10 AM EDT
[#31]
Probably gonna regret this, but my wife left 3 years ago after 16 years and I still have a huge gaping hole in my heart. Walked in on her one night, caught her masturbating and having phone sex.
So she freaks out and calls 911 saying I attacked her. Of course I get arrested.

Her injuries? scratches on her arms and pulled hair. Who knows a guy that scratches and pulls hair?
Link Posted: 3/31/2022 5:41:23 PM EDT
[#32]
This whole mental slideshow thing is getting old.  Woke up in a cold sweat last night after vividly seeing my father moments after he died.

He was laying in bed at the hospice, eyes wide open, mouth hanging open like he was screaming.  

I haven't dreamed about this shit in 10 years, he died 22 years ago.  Why the fuck does it have to start again now?  

I was just getting to the point of having a normal nights sleep too, the replays from my shooting in '18 have been happening only every few months, and the slideshow of all the other terrible shit that I've been through has also subsided recently.

I thought I was over this shit.... now my parents are coming back?  My subconscious mind has a sick sense of humor.  

FUCK! I just wish my mind would take a damn break and let me sleep.  



Link Posted: 4/1/2022 7:06:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: urbankaos04] [#33]
I just wanted to check in and give a quick update.

Things have been going very well for me. I can't thank everyone enough for the support that I received in this thread, via IMs and via phone. I actually gained a friend due to the preceding contacts.

This experience  taught me a lot, and I hope I don't forget the lessons that I have learned. I still have work to do, but I am now a better man because of what I had to go through.

I can't thank my parents, my brother, my best friends and a small group of friends enough for all of the support  and love that they have given me over the last two years.

I also can't apologize enough for what I put my GF through during the time we were together. I hope she is well and happy.

Looking back, I can see how fear ruled over me and how self-centered I was in the past. However, this is no longer the case. I now challenge myself to do things outside of my comfort zone and address things head on. I also try to make sure that I am a good person to those that love me and care about me. There is just so much more to share, but I don't have the time right now.

To everyone going through it:

Never give up! Always forward!

I thank you all, my ARFCOM brothers.

God Bless.
Link Posted: 4/1/2022 8:01:07 PM EDT
[#34]
That's great!
Link Posted: 4/1/2022 8:24:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: urbankaos04] [#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Gingerbreadman:
That's great!
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And thank you, too, bro, for all your feedback when I originally posted.

@Gingerbreadman

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Link Posted: 4/2/2022 4:52:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: RevolverRO] [#36]
After the kids went to sleep I had few drinks. Wine and I’m feeling  a little loose.   Won’t lie, I took something.  Overwhelming urge to call someone, but I’m realizing I I’m a little impaired.
Fabled
Sorry my mind is all disorganized


9:00 am.

Talked with one of my nursing instructors (director of the program) at 7:00am. I  rambled  a bit, but she was very kind. I’m going to stop and see her Tuesday after work. She’s always been and excellent shoulder to lean or cry on.
Link Posted: 4/2/2022 7:29:36 PM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
After the kids went to sleep I had few drinks. Wine and I’m feeling  a little loose.   Won’t lie, I took something.  Overwhelming urge to call someone, but I’m realizing I I’m a little impaired.
Fabled
Sorry my mind is all disorganized


9:00 am.

Talked with one of my nursing instructors (director of the program) at 7:00am. I  rambled  a bit, but she was very kind. I’m going to stop and see her Tuesday after work. She’s always been and excellent shoulder to lean or cry on.
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How are you holding up now?
Link Posted: 4/2/2022 8:31:03 PM EDT
[#38]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
After the kids went to sleep I had few drinks. Wine and I’m feeling  a little loose.   Won’t lie, I took something.  Overwhelming urge to call someone, but I’m realizing I I’m a little impaired.
Fabled
Sorry my mind is all disorganized


9:00 am.

Talked with one of my nursing instructors (director of the program) at 7:00am. I  rambled  a bit, but she was very kind. I’m going to stop and see her Tuesday after work. She’s always been and excellent shoulder to lean or cry on.
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Alright dude a little “tough love” here. You have got to quit drinking and taking “something”!!!!! That shit is only gonna exacerbate your problem.

Wanna know how I know this? I’m a recovering alcoholic with about ten months sober. My wife just asked for a divorce and basically my life is falling the fuck apart. However I also understand that drinking would destroy any hope I have at putting shit back together.

I’ve read a bunch of your posts in here and I truly wish you the best. I really do but lay off of anything that’s gonna complicate stuff.
Link Posted: 4/3/2022 8:01:50 PM EDT
[#39]
I need to ask some questions cause I know there are folks here who know the answers and I’m all out of them but I think I need some.

When do you know it’s time to get professional-real help?  

How do you even do that?  

Where do you go?
Link Posted: 4/4/2022 12:46:59 AM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By BTccw:
I need to ask some questions cause I know there are folks here who know the answers and I’m all out of them but I think I need some.

When do you know it’s time to get professional-real help?  

How do you even do that?  

Where do you go?
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Might be a worth a call to your primary doctor, and ask for a referral.

If you don't have a primary care doctor, try calling the suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, and see if they can refer you to an appropriate local mental health resource.
Link Posted: 4/4/2022 9:56:48 AM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By denverdan:


Alright dude a little “tough love” here. You have got to quit drinking and taking “something”!!!!! That shit is only gonna exacerbate your problem.

Wanna know how I know this? I’m a recovering alcoholic with about ten months sober. My wife just asked for a divorce and basically my life is falling the fuck apart. However I also understand that drinking would destroy any hope I have at putting shit back together.

I’ve read a bunch of your posts in here and I truly wish you the best. I really do but lay off of anything that’s gonna complicate stuff.
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Originally Posted By denverdan:
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
After the kids went to sleep I had few drinks. Wine and I’m feeling  a little loose.   Won’t lie, I took something.  Overwhelming urge to call someone, but I’m realizing I I’m a little impaired.
Fabled
Sorry my mind is all disorganized


9:00 am.

Talked with one of my nursing instructors (director of the program) at 7:00am. I  rambled  a bit, but she was very kind. I’m going to stop and see her Tuesday after work. She’s always been and excellent shoulder to lean or cry on.


Alright dude a little “tough love” here. You have got to quit drinking and taking “something”!!!!! That shit is only gonna exacerbate your problem.

Wanna know how I know this? I’m a recovering alcoholic with about ten months sober. My wife just asked for a divorce and basically my life is falling the fuck apart. However I also understand that drinking would destroy any hope I have at putting shit back together.

I’ve read a bunch of your posts in here and I truly wish you the best. I really do but lay off of anything that’s gonna complicate stuff.


I haven’t really been drinking a lot. Honestly. Maybe on Friday after putting the kids to bed I’ll have a glass of wine or a whiskey. This Friday I drank one glass of wine, it was cheap crap from Aldi and sometimes the sulfates react and I get a little stuffy, so I’ll take a Benadryl. All out of Benadryl so I grabbed a vistaril and it was a 100, not a fifty. Knocked me loopy and I was still groggy at 7am Saturday morning. Spent the rest of the weekend stone cold sober cooking and cleaning with the kids before dropping them with their mom.

Slept like crap last night, still no Benadryl and I wasn’t gonna take a vistaril before working the next day, lol.

I appreciate everyone who reaches out to me. I’m really trying to get back on my feee after being unemployed. Sucks to be earning so little but if the 25+ interviews that led to offers, this was the highest paying one. Still sucks, I’m trying to catch up and keep utilities on, I need WiFi for my legal stuff and payroll etc. Frustrating, I still need to pay taxes on the house and my vehicle, if I’m keeping or selling the house I have repairs/maintenance to do but absolutely no money to do it with. Drained the gas from my husqvarna garden mower to hopefully get to Friday when I can buy gas for my vehicle. Luckily we have a lot of venison in the freezer and plenty of rice, dry beans, and flour. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks.
Link Posted: 4/4/2022 8:18:13 PM EDT
[#42]
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Originally Posted By BTccw:
I need to ask some questions cause I know there are folks here who know the answers and I’m all out of them but I think I need some.

When do you know it’s time to get professional-real help?  

How do you even do that?  

Where do you go?
View Quote


I recently tried a counselor I found on the internet. Someone local. Not the kind of person that can prescribe meds. It cost about $100 per session.

It didn't help me, but I see how it could help some people.
Link Posted: 4/4/2022 11:27:19 PM EDT
[#43]
Take a big swig of Pepto Bismol if you've got any. See if this helps.
Link Posted: 4/5/2022 8:47:44 PM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Gingerbreadman:

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Originally Posted By Gingerbreadman:
Originally Posted By BornToLooze:

I'm not going to bottle it up anymore, I'm just not going to dwell on how broken I am. This is probably the best I've felt in years.



I mean my wife asks me why I drive like I'm trying to outrun the devil; it's because I am.

Link Posted: 4/6/2022 5:39:32 AM EDT
[#45]
Managed to sleep from midnight until 1:30am, then lay awake until 4 before dozing off. Woke up just now.

Tried talking to the ex yesterday (stuff regarding the kids cell phones and bills) and she bit my head off. It just really sent me down a path. I’m busting my butt at this new job, trying to get caught up and I’m worn out. Facing a bunch of utility bills and I can’t make my paycheck cover them. Even if I cover the electric and cell phone I won’t have money for gas, dog food, anything, until next payday and that check is going to other bills.

No sleep is killing me. No more vistaril or Benadryl in the house and I can’t fall asleep, my brain just keeps worrying and stressing. I gave some melatonin but it sure hasn’t helped so far.
Link Posted: 4/7/2022 10:20:55 AM EDT
[#46]
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Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
Managed to sleep from midnight until 1:30am, then lay awake until 4 before dozing off. Woke up just now.

Tried talking to the ex yesterday (stuff regarding the kids cell phones and bills) and she bit my head off. It just really sent me down a path. I’m busting my butt at this new job, trying to get caught up and I’m worn out. Facing a bunch of utility bills and I can’t make my paycheck cover them. Even if I cover the electric and cell phone I won’t have money for gas, dog food, anything, until next payday and that check is going to other bills.

No sleep is killing me. No more vistaril or Benadryl in the house and I can’t fall asleep, my brain just keeps worrying and stressing. I gave some melatonin but it sure hasn’t helped so far.
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Do you need some Diphenhydramine? (benadryl)

Just about anything OTC that gives you sleep is better than being sleep-deprived.
Link Posted: 4/7/2022 11:33:48 AM EDT
[#47]
I picked up some Benadryl yesterday on the way home from work. Usually I have stuff in the house but after last week there wasnt anything. Even with 50mg of Benadryl I’ll maybe sleep for four hours before waking up and staring at the ceiling fan until sunrise. Last night I slept from 11pm until about 4am, and it felt awesome in comparison to what I’ve been getting lately.

Ex called and apologized this morning, she’s on her period and I guess that’s why she bit my head off the other day.  Got some bills paid and deferred my phone bill until next week; $37 to get me by until the 15th. Sucks but I’ll manage.
Link Posted: 4/8/2022 6:02:30 PM EDT
[#48]
Found out my wife was having an affair 3 years ago.
Instead of stepping up and admitting it, she faked an assault and had me arrested...  
If the bitch burns alive I couldn't be more happy.
Link Posted: 4/8/2022 7:30:06 PM EDT
[#49]
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Originally Posted By bushbandit:
Found out my wife was having an affair 3 years ago.
Instead of stepping up and admitting it, she faked an assault and had me arrested...  
If the bitch burns alive I couldn't be more happy.
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Sorry to hear that. That is the sort of shit that nightmares are made of. Hopefully, you got out of that okay (in the legal sense).
Link Posted: 4/8/2022 9:47:17 PM EDT
[#50]
So I was at one of my buddies houses this evening and happened to mention something about how since my son is autistic I've been trying to learn about it and apparently a bunch of stuff I do is not normal. I was diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm kinda curious if I might be autistic instead.

But that's a bunch of made up bullshit. The reason every social interaction I've had for the past 10-15 years is just copying people that are good with people, that's just people looking for an excuse to not work.
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