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9/19/2017 7:27:10 PM
Posted: 11/25/2002 1:15:59 PM EDT
[IMG]www.nightstalkers.com/images/alsofront.jpg[/IMG] I need to vent, so you guy's can read this or leave it. When the USS Cole was bombed I was sitting in my office drinking coffee. The closest that I got to action was going to the Kid Rock memorial concert. When Sept. 11th happened I was sitting in my office drinking coffee. The only thing that I could think of "Was Mechem (roomate from Ft. Huachuca and Korea) okay?" He was stationed at the Pentagon and recently married. I thought to myself how helpless I was. Stationed in a cushy assignment in Norfolk, VA while Soldiers around the world preparing for battle. I wanted to do something, but what? I can't just hop on a plane, go to Afghanistan and start shooting the bad guys. So I sat in my cushy office drinking coffee, enjoying the air conditioning, and wondering what the real soldiers were doing. I thought of my wife and young son (then 6 months old). How could I leave them? What would they do if I weren't there for them? Then I understood what all the soldiers who came before me felt. A deep sense of duty, and an awfull feeling of lonliness, and sense of grief that my family may have to do without me...forever, and I almost cried. I almost cried for the thankfulness I felt for them.. I wanted to go fight for my country and FREEDOM, wright the wrong. But at the same time I felt relieved that I didn't have to leave my family, and that I could stay and fulfill my duties as a father and husband. It's natural you don't ever want to leave your family "unprotected"(right?). But that was the problem. I felt ashamed. Ashamed of myself. Ashamed for not wanting to leave my family durring my country's time of need. What kind of soldier am I? This is why I volunteered. To fight my countries battles, and destroy her enemies. Here I was and overweight NCO with a bad knee. What kind of soldier am I? What purpose am I serving here? I wasn't in the action. I wasn't fighting for my country, unless you count fighting traffic coming to work. Everyday I walk into my office get my coffee and think about what the real soldiers are doing. What would it be like if I were over there with them? Would I be up to snuff? Would I be able to lead soldiers in combat?(Primary mission as an NCO) I couldn't tell my wife that I wanted to leave her for the chance to go into battle. She'd kill me first. Everyday I fight my own battle with myself. I was pissed when the Army stop-lossed me 2 weeks before I was due to get out. How shamefull! I should be glad and proud that my country needs me! But no(!) here I was feeling sorry for myself because I had another cushy job lined up on the outside, and I couldn't take it. I've gotten most of my internal battles won, but I still feel like a fifth wheel sometimes, I just want to FIGHT! From time to time I visit several websites dedicated to soldiers who have fought and died for [B]our[/B] freedom. Whenever I browse these sites I shed a tear. A tear for the men who have made the ultimate sacrafice, for me. A tear of hope that someday I'll have my chance to do [B]my[/B] part. Sorry for this long rant, but please visit this website. Be sure to visit the memorials within it, and turn up your speakers. Some of the names there are names that you've heard on the news recently. [URL]http://www.nightstalkers.com[/URL] [IMG]http://www.nightstalkers.com/tfranger/memorial/wallnice.jpg[/IMG] PONY_DRIVER
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 1:24:04 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PONY_DRIVER: From time to time I visit several websites dedicated to soldiers who have fought and died for [B]our[/B] freedom. Whenever I browse these sites I shed a tear. A tear for the men who have made the ultimate sacrafice, for me. A tear of hope that someday I'll have my chance to do [B]my[/B] part.] PONY_DRIVER
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I've visited Nighstalkers before you posted this and I would just like to say that, that is a great site. I enjoy reading the poetry of men that have made the ultimate sacrifice. I'm sure you are feeling the same way many soldiers feel when they are going through what you are going through. Just hang in there and I'm sure you will be able to do your part when the time comes, that's what they have trained you to do!
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 1:32:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 1:48:32 PM EDT
Just remember.. I'd glady take your job and your rank for all eternity if it wasn't for those stupid eye regs.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:01:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:12:40 PM EDT
I going to stick my neck out here: WTF are you trying to say? The difference between peacetime solider and a combat soldier is chance. The best combat veterans overlook the difference. The best peacetime soldiers never forget the difference. When my dad went to Vietnam, he had my mom and five kids to support. He told my mom he would rather go now than have us boys go later. When I was older he told me I should serve my country, but do not covet war, it is a horrible awful thing and thank god that you never have to experience it. I have never known a combat veteran who said otherwise. You need to grow up and be the best you can be doing what you do, if fate intervenes and you are in combat I hope you prevail. Honor the dead for their sacrifice, only a fool would want to join them. If the dead could speak, they would say the same.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:21:36 PM EDT
Thanks for the understanging guys. Like I said (or meant to say) I'm not looking for sympathy, just venting. I do not covet war, I don't want to have to kill anyone. I don't want to die for my country. I am proud of my service to my country, I just don't feel like I do enough sometimes. PONY_DRIVER
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:35:32 PM EDT
I know the feeling. On September 11 I was ready to pick up a rifle and go rampaging to get those responsible. Didn't happen that way. I waiting until March until I deployed to an airbase and fixed AC-130s. I know I didn't get to directly take part in the action, but it's a warming feeling when you tell a SEAL or airborne you work for Spectre and they shake your hand and buy you a drink.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:39:26 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PONY_DRIVER: I just don't feel like I do enough sometimes. PONY_DRIVER
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Serve your country, love your wife, prepare your kids to be successful. What more can you do.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:42:08 PM EDT
Gawdamnit... That's me.. I've been feeling like such a pussy.
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:47:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By QCMGR:
Originally Posted By PONY_DRIVER: I just don't feel like I do enough sometimes. PONY_DRIVER
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Serve your country, love your wife, prepare your kids to be successful. What more can you do.
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That is some of the best advice ever given on this or any other discussion board. It's all the luck of the draw PONY_DRIVER. You are serving, and not complaining about creature comforts. You are doing everything our country is asking you to do. [b]There is no shame in what you are doing![/b]
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:53:03 PM EDT
RGR fella's. QCMGR, I have to agree with DPeacher. I can't recall ever seeing any better advice on ANY board. Thanks. "Drive On" PONY_DRIVER
Link Posted: 11/25/2002 2:58:40 PM EDT
I is a grateful country, and one grateful ARgon, that you do what you do. Every single person that wears the uniform, fights in their way for our safety. God bless you and all the others.
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