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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/15/2005 8:33:42 AM EDT
There's a HUGE guy downstairs right now making templates for counter tops. (I'm building a house.) He huffs and wheezes just to walk, and I didn't think he was going to make it up the front steps. He's sweating so much that he set up a big fan (he brought it with him, so this probably isn't a one-time hot flash). And he's popping Ibuprofen like candy.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:35:59 AM EDT
Is your homeowners paid up?
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:06 AM EDT
911 on speed dial?
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:38 AM EDT

Offer him a "wafer thin mint".


Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:44 AM EDT
That ain't Ibuprofen he is taking.....
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:37:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/15/2005 8:38:11 AM EDT by Rodent]
LOL, that's all I can think of, is how much I don't need a lawsuit right now. If he croaks, before I call 911 I'll drag him over to a neighbor's yard.

If I can.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:42:40 AM EDT

I thought you live on the water? Give him a Viking funeral.

Kills 2 birds with one stone. You know... "I lost all my guns in a Viking funeral accident". Just remember to hold on to the 10/22 and the .38
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:43:10 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
LOL, that's all I can think of, is how much I don't need a lawsuit right now. If he croaks, before I call 911 I'll drag him over to a neighbor's yard.

If I can.



lol he won't think the dogpoop was so bad anymore!

Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:44:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/15/2005 8:45:05 AM EDT by VooDoo3dfx]

Originally Posted By Rodent:
LOL, that's all I can think of, is how much I don't need a lawsuit right now. If he croaks, before I call 911 I'll drag him over to a neighbor's yard.

If I can.



Same neighbor with the dog doo problem?

ETA: Arrrrr, beatin by a minute, arrr!
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:50:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By Rodent:
LOL, that's all I can think of, is how much I don't need a lawsuit right now. If he croaks, before I call 911 I'll drag him over to a neighbor's yard.

If I can.



Same neighbor with the dog doo problem?

ETA: Arrrrr, beatin by a minute, arrr!



Arrrrrrr your parrot crapped on my epaulet
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:51:34 AM EDT
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:53:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.




I'll second that
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 8:54:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.



Shit weasel!
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:05:28 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.



I'll send him to the neighbor's yard for that. Might save me a drag.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:11:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/15/2005 9:13:48 AM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By Hokie:
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.



I'll send him to the neighbor's yard for that. Might save me a drag.



Among a dozen other things....

Besides, you wouldn't want that guy's fat sweaty herniated ass smearing a pint of 3-day old grundle cheese & black curlies across your toilet seat. I couldn't imagine what plumbing issues would stem from whatever exits that rotten overtaxed brown eye of his.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:12:47 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:14:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/15/2005 9:15:24 AM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By Blue_Monkey:
www.clubdesmonstres.com/jabba.jpg



Now picture him fat with a bottle of Ibuprofen in his tool belt.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:15:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Besides, you wouldn't want that guy's fat sweaty herniated ass smearing a pint of 3-day old grundle cheese & black curlies across your toilet seat. I couldn't imagine what plumbing issues would stem from whatever exits that rotten overtaxed brown eye of his.









That's sigline material for one of you guys!


"rotten overtaxed brown eye..."


Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:18:03 AM EDT
Don't bother calling FEMA, the remains will be really smelly before they respond
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:21:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/15/2005 9:22:28 AM EDT by Gamma762]

Originally Posted By Rodent:

Originally Posted By Hokie:
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.



I'll send him to the neighbor's yard for that. Might save me a drag.


Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:24:50 AM EDT
I thought this was going to be a transcript of a 911 call with an armed homeowner.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:26:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
Besides, you wouldn't want that guy's fat sweaty herniated ass smearing a pint of 3-day old grundle cheese & black curlies across your toilet seat. I couldn't imagine what plumbing issues would stem from whatever exits that rotten overtaxed brown eye of his.




That is just the nastiest thing I have read in a while.

And its all true
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:28:18 AM EDT
why would you have a lawsuit because someone died who is willingly in your home?

Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:29:22 AM EDT


Hey Rodent!

Updates?

He still vertical?
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:47:46 AM EDT
He's still working, still sweating. Now he has a big bottle of Aleve on the counter next to him. And he's making these moaning noises that I can hear all the way upstairs.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 9:48:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Luxan:
why would you have a lawsuit because someone died who is willingly in your home?




Because lawyers can make money from it.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 12:45:04 PM EDT

If he dies remember to see if he has any money on him before you call the cops.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 12:48:57 PM EDT
I'd go secure a gaf, drag rope, and a comealong. You'll need it. It's IS 4:45 EST, so maybe you're already in the process of moving the body.
Link Posted: 9/15/2005 1:14:49 PM EDT
The guy just left. Whew. I hope he doesn't have a heart attack or stroke before he turns in the templates.

He didn't want me to help him carry his toolbox, but he couldn't do it. He took tools out of it and carried them to his car until it was light enough for him to lift.

He was wearing leather moccasins with no socks, and his feet were ballooned out of them, all swollen up. When he got in his car, it listed about 10 degrees.

It must be an awful way to go through life, I feel pretty sorry for him. I bet he doesn't even remember how good it feels to not be carrying a few sacks of grain with him wherever he goes.
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