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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:35:59 AM EDT
[#1]
Is your homeowners paid up?
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:06 AM EDT
[#2]
911 on speed dial?
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:38 AM EDT
[#3]
Offer him a "wafer thin mint".  |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:36:44 AM EDT
[#4]
That ain't Ibuprofen he is taking.....
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:37:46 AM EDT
[#5]
LOL, that's all I can think of, is how much I don't need a lawsuit right now. If he croaks, before I call 911 I'll drag him over to a neighbor's yard.
If I can. 
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:42:40 AM EDT
[#6]
I thought you live on the water? Give him a Viking funeral. Kills 2 birds with one stone. You know... "I lost all my guns in a Viking funeral accident". Just remember to hold on to the 10/22 and the .38 |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:43:10 AM EDT
[#7]
lol he won't think the dogpoop was so bad anymore! |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:44:40 AM EDT
[#8]
Same neighbor with the dog doo problem?  ETA: Arrrrr, beatin by a minute, arrr! |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:50:40 AM EDT
[#9]
Arrrrrrr your parrot crapped on my epaulet |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:51:34 AM EDT
[#10]
If he asks to use your toilet, say NO.
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:53:25 AM EDT
[#11]
I'll second that |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 8:54:05 AM EDT
[#12]
Shit weasel! |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:05:28 AM EDT
[#13]
I'll send him to the neighbor's yard for that. Might save me a drag. |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:11:50 AM EDT
[#14]
Among a dozen other things.... Besides, you wouldn't want that guy's fat sweaty herniated ass smearing a pint of 3-day old grundle cheese & black curlies across your toilet seat. I couldn't imagine what plumbing issues would stem from whatever exits that rotten overtaxed brown eye of his. |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:12:47 AM EDT
[#15]
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:14:52 AM EDT
[#16]
Now picture him fat with a bottle of Ibuprofen in his tool belt. |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:15:47 AM EDT
[#17]
 That's sigline material for one of you guys! "rotten overtaxed brown eye..." 
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:18:03 AM EDT
[#18]
Don't bother calling FEMA, the remains will be really smelly before they respond
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:21:27 AM EDT
[#19]
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:24:50 AM EDT
[#20]
I thought this was going to be a transcript of a 911 call with an armed homeowner.
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:26:59 AM EDT
[#21]
 That is just the nastiest thing I have read in a while.  And its all true 
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:28:18 AM EDT
[#22]
why would you have a lawsuit because someone died who is willingly in your home?
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:29:22 AM EDT
[#23]
Hey Rodent! Updates? He still vertical? |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:47:46 AM EDT
[#24]
He's still working, still sweating. Now he has a big bottle of Aleve on the counter next to him. And he's making these moaning noises that I can hear all the way upstairs.
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Posted: 9/15/2005 9:48:38 AM EDT
[#25]
Because lawyers can make money from it. |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 12:45:04 PM EDT
[#26]
If he dies remember to see if he has any money on him before you call the cops. |
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Posted: 9/15/2005 12:48:57 PM EDT
[#27]
I'd go secure a gaf, drag rope, and a comealong. You'll need it. It's IS 4:45 EST, so maybe you're already in the process of moving the body.
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Posted: 9/15/2005 1:14:49 PM EDT
[#28]
The guy just left. Whew. I hope he doesn't have a heart attack or stroke before he turns in the templates.
He didn't want me to help him carry his toolbox, but he couldn't do it. He took tools out of it and carried them to his car until it was light enough for him to lift. He was wearing leather moccasins with no socks, and his feet were ballooned out of them, all swollen up. When he got in his car, it listed about 10 degrees. It must be an awful way to go through life, I feel pretty sorry for him. I bet he doesn't even remember how good it feels to not be carrying a few sacks of grain with him wherever he goes. |
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