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Posted: 11/18/2011 10:38:49 PM EDT
Backstory : A friend on my mom and stepfather was recently indicted on about 50 charges of child pornography and pandering of such material. Now Im a pretty level headed guy and don't want to be judge and jury here but my sister is freaking out. She has 2 young boys under 6 and doesn't want my parents haning out with this individual, which I agree. I have tried to calm the situation down and for a bit it seemed that everyone was on the same page and no one was going to have contact with this guy. I also have a 8 week old daughter so this hits more and more home every time I think about it. Anyhow, today, it's the birthday of this guys wife and my parents go and hang out with eveyone. I have told them how I feel about this earlier and still they cannot respect my or my sisters wishes. I hate to give anyone and ultimatum but I am at that point. Suggestions from the hive? MYOB? CSB?
Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:41:09 PM EDT
While I recognize that alligators exist and some choose them for casual or sporting consortium, I tend to keep my family away from swamps.
Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:41:21 PM EDT
do your parents have some reason they want to continue being friends with this guy?
Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:41:27 PM EDT
Indicted on 50 counts, holy crap. That would be more than I could handle and I can see a huge problem especially with young kids involved. Do they have evidence to convict? Any chance he is innocent? (Doesn't sound likely.)
Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:42:26 PM EDT
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.

Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:47:24 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TechGal26:
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.



You are right. Like I said, I'm pretty level headed. Yes they are adults, and make their own choices. But when that choice is to associate with a suspected child pornagrapher/pedophile, when do you draw the line? Do you trust thier desicions when you bring YOUR child into thier house?

Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:48:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By TechGal26:
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.



I gotta agree... you can't control your parents... you can control your and sister's kids from coming into contact with him though... focus on that! If Herbert the Pervert is gonna be around your parent's house then let your parents know that the grandkids won't be there... eventually your parents will decide that they miss their grandkids and homeboy will probably disappear...

- Clint

Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:50:33 PM EDT


If everything works the way it should, the indictment will lead to a conviction, which will lead to a prison sentence.

Which will lead to the end of the current issue of yours.

Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:52:27 PM EDT


Indicted doesn't equal convicted. Sounds like your parents are trying to be supportive friends. Maybe they know more about what actually happened.

I'd keep my kids away until I knew the facts though.


Link Posted: 11/18/2011 10:56:27 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Mech2007:


Indicted doesn't equal convicted. Sounds like your parents are trying to be supportive friends. Maybe they know more about what actually happened.

I'd keep my kids away until I knew the facts though.




Right. But this guy is a salesman by trade. And his story keeps changing everyday. At first he said it was one picture by accident. Now its he "may" have come acrros it but it was only one time. Too bad the FBI found that it was 50 times with 10 counts of pandering on top of that.

Link Posted: 11/18/2011 11:13:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/18/2011 11:14:12 PM EDT by targetworks]
Although it is reprehensible conduct on the guy's part, if it is true, there is no evidence that it is contagious.

It's probably a bad idea to let guilt by association bring suspicion against your parents which alters your life...



Link Posted: 11/18/2011 11:59:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 12:01:32 AM EDT by Tim_the_enchanter]
Kids telling their parents what to do?

Are you afraid that your parents are in to kiddie porn too?
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 12:05:41 AM EDT
OP calm down and learn to spell check. or learn to type. i refused to read the rest after the second error.

S
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 12:34:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tim_the_enchanter:
Kids telling their parents what to do?

Are you afraid that your parents are in to kiddie porn too?

If my parents hung out with that type of person, I'd give them an earful.
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 12:38:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 12:39:15 AM EDT by TechGal26]

Originally Posted By neflihim:
Originally Posted By TechGal26:
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.



You are right. Like I said, I'm pretty level headed. Yes they are adults, and make their own choices. But when that choice is to associate with a suspected child pornagrapher/pedophile, when do you draw the line? Do you trust thier desicions when you bring YOUR child into thier house?

Suspected. The key word here is suspected, and from your OP it sounds like they went to visit with the guy's wife on her birthday. Her husband may have been there, but that is not really the point.
Should she be a pariah because of something her husband has done?
Whatever he may have done is not her fault and IMHO it sounds like your parents are being good friends to a woman whose whole life is being torn apart.

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 12:45:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 12:47:14 AM EDT by dtux]

Originally Posted By scott917:
OP, calm down and please learn how to use spell check. or learn how to type. After the second error, I refused to read the rest.

S

FIFY

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 12:50:30 AM EDT

Originally Posted By dtux:

Originally Posted By scott917:
OP, calm down and please learn how to use spell check. or learn how to type. After the second error, I refused to read the rest.

S

FIFY



Link Posted: 11/19/2011 1:12:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Archtaan:
Indicted on 50 counts, holy crap. That would be more than I could handle and I can see a huge problem especially with young kids involved. Do they have evidence to convict? Any chance he is innocent? (Doesn't sound likely.)

50 counts = 50 pictures.

I know a guy that has been in prison for 10 years for molesting his daughter. Only his FIL actually did it them committed suicide, when SRS got involved they penned it on the dad during the divorce and the police questioning officer was related to the wife. They coached the girl to testify against her dad but she has since recanted but hes still in prison.

I don't know the circumstances around OPs case, but prosecutors love to play up this stuff and the media never gets it right.

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 1:15:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By neflihim:
Originally Posted By TechGal26:
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.



You are right. Like I said, I'm pretty level headed. Yes they are adults, and make their own choices. But when that choice is to associate with a suspected child pornagrapher/pedophile, when do you draw the line? Do you trust thier desicions when you bring YOUR child into thier house?


You draw the line not by giving an ultimatum, but by refusing to go over there or bring your children around. When they wonder why you haven't brought the grandkids over, explain that you won't as long as they continue to associate with the person in question and drop the subject. Let them decide who is more important to them.

You can't control the people your parents choose to be around, but you CAN make that choice for yourself and your children.

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 2:24:08 AM EDT
Originally Posted By DKroll92:

Originally Posted By Tim_the_enchanter:
Kids telling their parents what to do?

Are you afraid that your parents are in to kiddie porn too?

If my parents hung out with that type of person, I'd give them an earful.


If you were my child, I'd give you a spanking and send you to your room.
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 2:35:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 2:36:00 AM EDT by GUNSFORHIRE]
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT post anything from your "Pop's Laptop" or they can find you!...MmKay?

In the mean time...Get your hands on some bleach, some hydrogen peroxide and a shitload of lime!!!

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 2:59:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 3:00:34 AM EDT by hawkin]
Originally Posted By scott917:
OP calm down and learn to spell check. or learn to type. i refused to read the rest after the second error.

S


Really??? You are a real douche bag!
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:04:27 AM EDT
Tell them how you feel about it, then MYOB. If they hang out with the kiddie porn scumbag, that's on them and your opinion of them will adjust accordingly.
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:06:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 3:07:42 AM EDT by LaRue_Tactical]
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:11:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LaRue_Tactical:
Originally Posted By Dragracer:

Originally Posted By Archtaan:
Indicted on 50 counts, holy crap. That would be more than I could handle and I can see a huge problem especially with young kids involved. Do they have evidence to convict? Any chance he is innocent? (Doesn't sound likely.)

50 counts = 50 pictures.

I know a guy that has been in prison for 10 years for molesting his daughter. Only his FIL actually did it them committed suicide, when SRS got involved they penned it on the dad during the divorce and the police questioning officer was related to the wife. They coached the girl to testify against her dad but she has since recanted but hes still in prison.

I don't know the circumstances around OPs case, but prosecutors love to play up this stuff and the media never gets it right.



I'm lost - why did they coach the girl to testify against her dad that didn't do it ?

The answer is in purple: during the divorce, and the police officer was related to the wife.

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:15:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TechGal26:

Originally Posted By neflihim:
Originally Posted By TechGal26:
Your parents are adults, unless they are taking children over there leave them alone.



You are right. Like I said, I'm pretty level headed. Yes they are adults, and make their own choices. But when that choice is to associate with a suspected child pornagrapher/pedophile, when do you draw the line? Do you trust thier desicions when you bring YOUR child into thier house?

Suspected. The key word here is suspected, and from your OP it sounds like they went to visit with the guy's wife on her birthday. Her husband may have been there, but that is not really the point.
Should she be a pariah because of something her husband has done?
Whatever he may have done is not her fault and IMHO it sounds like your parents are being good friends to a woman whose whole life is being torn apart.




Well, if she had been willing to put her hair in pigtails and wear the Girl Scout uniform, all of this unpleasantness could have been avoided.



Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:16:29 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:20:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 11/19/2011 3:22:41 AM EDT by LaRue_Tactical]
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:21:14 AM EDT
I would be more concerned about my parents still wanting to associate with him. I would protect my kids and not allow them over to my parents house in fear of said sicko stopping by. They wana see grand kids they can come to your house.
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:22:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LaRue_Tactical:
Originally Posted By Molon-Labe:

Originally Posted By LaRue_Tactical:

I'm lost - why did they coach the girl to testify against her dad that didn't do it ?

The answer is in purple: during the divorce, and the police officer was related to the wife.

Are you suggesting that she had the husband unethically "put away" to save herself the hassle of a divorce ? Using her law enforcement relative to pull this scheme off ? Seems far-fetched, or the husband (now inmate) really sucked at picking women.

I'm not suggesting it; the guy who told the story is. I was merely clarifying it for you. But...given all the "women are evil, soul-sucking demons" threads that are on here, is that surprising?

Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:24:27 AM EDT
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:28:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LaRue_Tactical:
Originally Posted By Molon-Labe:


I'm not suggesting it; the guy who told the story is. I was merely clarifying it for you. But...given all the "women are evil, soul-sucking demons" threads that are on here, is that surprising?



Perhaps she didn't carry this to it's logical end - that he's gonna eventually get out ...

Yep. And if he does what he deserves to do, he'll probably end up right back in there.
Link Posted: 11/19/2011 3:43:16 AM EDT
Originally Posted By neflihim:
Backstory : A friend on my mom and stepfather was recently indicted on about 50 charges of child pornography and pandering of such material. Now Im a pretty level headed guy and don't want to be judge and jury here but my sister is freaking out. She has 2 young boys under 6 and doesn't want my parents haning out with this individual, which I agree. I have tried to calm the situation down and for a bit it seemed that everyone was on the same page and no one was going to have contact with this guy. I also have a 8 week old daughter so this hits more and more home every time I think about it. Anyhow, today, it's the birthday of this guys wife and my parents go and hang out with eveyone. I have told them how I feel about this earlier and still they cannot respect my or my sisters wishes. I hate to give anyone and ultimatum but I am at that point. Suggestions from the hive? MYOB? CSB?


Sounds to me like you and your sister thought you could tell your parents what they could and couldn't do, and have now recently discovered that, as adults, they can do what they like.

There's a support group for this terrible problem you have. The problem you have is that the world doesn't do what you want, and the support group is called "Everyone Else."

Therapy meets at the bar, and mostly consists of advice to grow up.

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