I have been spending too much time on ARFCOM so I am going to take a hiatus.  I had this thread saved up for a rainy day and I suppose it is a good bang to go out on.  It is kind of long but trust me, it is worth your time to read.

Okay.  This occured a couple of months ago.  It has taken that long to admit that it actually happened.

If anyone remembers the couch tossing thread from this summer - the following conversation happened immediately later in the day.  I must preface this by saying that I went on one date with this girl at the beginning of the summer but I have been friends with her since then (she has bad taste - and my other girlfriend leaves me too fatigued).

To recap: my female friend asked me to help her move out of her apartment complex.  We had some difficulties moving her couch, decided to get drunk at 11AM and ended up throwing the sucker over her balcony.  In this giddy and somewhat inebriated state we headed to Steak n' Shake to get some food to soak up the alcohol.

While we were there I brought up the fact that I was considering buying a single action revolver but that I could not really convince myself it was necessary.  My friend (let's call her Lucy since that is nothing near her real name) took interest when I started describing the model I wanted.  Ruger Super Blackhawk, stainless steel finish, .44 Magnum with the 7 and 1/2 inch barrel.

"Ooooh.  7 and a half inch barrel.  I like that!"
"Really?  So you would like to shoot it if I got it?"
"Yeah.  Actually I would do a lot more than shoot it."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, 7 and a half inches!  I wouldn't mind a having a little fun with that."
(slowly grasping what she is talking about) "OH MY GOD!"
"What?  What?  What's so wrong about that?  I mean, it's long and hard and steel . . . "
"OH MY GOD . . . wait!  Isn't the girth a little small?  I thought girth was more important?"
"Not for me.  I love length."
"You're going to hell for thinking that.  You wouldn't do it with the pistol loaded would you?"
"Oh no, that's not what I meant."
"You're going to hell anyway."

I left for Athens a few hours later and arrived in the evening.  When I got up in the morning I went to the gunstore and bought a Ruger Super Blackhawk, stainless steel finish, .44 Magnum with a 7.5" barrel.

I called Lucy and left a message on her phone the next day.  "Hey Lucy it's Roland.  I just want to let you know that I bought you a dildo."  This was in jest.

She calls back the next day somewhat miffed.  "What do you mean you bought me a dildo?"  I told her about buying the revolver and how pretty it was.  She told me that I was going to hell.

We bantered back and forth on the topic for a few more days and phone conversations.  Then she called one day and said that her parents were going to be out of town for a few days and she wanted to know if she could borrow my revolver.  I told her she was going to hell.  She repeated the request and implied that she was serious.

The next time I saw her (we were going to a Braves game - a very hot redhead but also a fun girl) I gave her the revolver.  And a boresnake with Hoppes and patches, along with instructions how to disassemble the gun and clean it thoroughly.  

About two weeks later she returned the gun to me with the gun clean and the cylinder out of the frame.  She could not reassemble it.

"Here it is.  I couldn't get the cylinder back in."
"So you DID go to hell!"
"I'm not saying.  I'm not ever going to tell you whether I did or not.  I'll just let you wonder."
"It appears clean . . . "
"Because I cleaned it."
". . . but I wouldn't put it past you to clean it and partially disassemble it just to make me THINK that you had actually gone to hell."
"Exactly.  So you will never really know."


I took the gun out for dry firing a few days later.  As I was working on my sight picture I noticed something funny.  The front sight seemed discolored.  When I examined it closely I saw that the serrations in the front sight were partially filled with some sort of . . . residue.  It had not been there before I had lent the revolver.  

Caught red-handed!  Or something like that.

I called her.   "Hi Lucy, it's Roland, just calling to tell you that I know for a fact that you went to hell.  And I am not going to tell you how I know."


And so memories fade into oblivion and I continue to tell myself that none of that happened.  I never told my best friend this story until today.  Lucy has told no one.  As she said, she felt really dirty after she did it.  But a good kind of dirty.  But that she wouldn't do it again because she would feel dirtier for it.  But a good kind of dirtier.

Why do I bring this up several months later?  Well folks, here's your punchline and your sigline.  Keep in mind that this has not been discussed by Lucy since it transpired.  I was talking with her last night about selling my XBOX and buying some holsters with the money.  I told her about how I have multiple holsters for many of my guns but that I need to save up and get at least one good rig for my revolver.  

"But you do have a holster for your revolver!"
"No I don't.  What are you talking about?"
"Well, your revolver had a holster . . . for a little while."

Thank you and good night.

lol...wow.  wtf?    

This guys life really is a sit com!

Ummmm....

Wow, if it came from anywhere but Athens, I'd call you a damn liar.

After all that, the only question I have is...



Did you buy it at Franklin's?

Masturbation with a gun?  

this has to be one of the weiridst things i can recall reading.

You lose man points for not spraying your winky silver and installing a front site on it.
Greenhorn!

wow
that's uhh...kind of disgusting...and I thought I was a freak for trying the "stealth move" on my girlfriend (after she screamed at and berated me of course).

At least it wasen't the "guys who live upstairs" using it for a sex toy....

"This on time at gun camp.."

Lucy Freeholie, I got a pis-tol she can put in her holster anytime, chick I know named it bigfoot.

Shouldn't all your firearms be baptized?

I can believe that....

Quoted: At least it wasen't the "guys who live upstairs" using it for a sex toy....

Do we know for a fact that he didn't?  "residue" could be many things...he may have rode that wheelgun like Roy Roger's on "Trigger".

Sounds like fun, get a double barrel 10 gauge. She would love that

Once again THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quoted: this has to be one of the weiridst things i can recall reading.

/\
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+1

Quoted: Once again THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+1


btw, I was never here

... "this one time at band camp"

Just damn.

Quoted: Masturbation with a gun?

I remember reading an article several years back on salon.com that covered that very subject. Seemed to be a group of lezes that were into that...

Does that help prevent Rust ????

LOL

Strangest thread ever, next to the gourami.

This is so fucked up it has to be true... SHE IS A WINNER!!!!

This makes me wonder..................  

20-25 pages...

I'm going to shower.

I feel dirty after reading that.

you didn't try to get in on the action

Quoted: ... "this one time at band gun camp"

Fixed it for you, Winston!  

Quoted: Does that help prevent Rust ????

Hmmmm!  Comparative analysis, "Maiden Oil" vs. FP10 as a lubricant!

Quoted: 20-25 pages...

atleast

This seems so unhealthy on SO many levels....

Wow...

I'm not sure yet if that's a good wow or a bad wow.

If you are not married and didnt hit that your Sir are worthless

Tag, gotta see how far this one will go.

Ill never look at a girl the same way again.  When one bends over I can just imagine thinking to myself what size uncle mikes holster she is equivalent to.

I am so dissapointed to be saying this, but THIS THREAT IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS!!!

At least give us something to help us get a better mental image!!!



-K

You did the first half of the arfcom reply (well sort of) now post pics!

All I can say is, I'm not surprised.

I knew a girl named Michelle that was just as dirty.

Ah Michelle, where did you go off to...

mother of god.. I've heard of some twisted things being used, but dayum....

FREAK

I'm going to hell for reading this.

hummmm  


Lots of detail though

The only problem I can see with this is the fact of the front sight.  Not only the serrations, but the sight itself would cause lacerations to the inside and that would most definitely not be pleasureable.  If not for that, I could believe it.

Can't wait for the photoshop.  I think you may have found a wierd new fetish here.

Quoted: You lose man points for not spraying your winky silver and installing a front site on it. Greenhorn!

the only gun I need to holster is the one sittin between my legs.