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Posted: 8/11/2011 12:49:31 PM EST
I was so depressed last night thinking about our country, the economy, the stock market...the list goes on. I called a suicide hotline and got a call center in Pakistan. They were super excited to hear from me and asked if I knew how to drive a truck!











A cute six year old grandson said to his grandpa, "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"
The grandfather responds, "Well, why would I want to do that?"
The brazen little grandson replies, "'Cause Grandma said that when you croak, we're all going to Hawaii!"




Link Posted: 8/11/2011 12:50:37 PM EST
[#1]
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 12:50:38 PM EST
[#2]
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 12:51:28 PM EST
[#3]
proper punctuation is the difference between helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse, and your uncle jack off a horse.
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 12:51:48 PM EST
[#4]
I smiled and lold
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 12:55:11 PM EST
[#5]
Quoted:
proper punctuation is the difference between helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse, and your uncle jack off a horse.


LOL!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 8/11/2011 2:02:43 PM EST
[#6]
A shoe salesman is helping this gorgeous women with some shoes.  He
looks up and notices that she is not wearing any underwear.  He
blushes at first and tries to shake it off.  As he continues to help
her he looks up again and just can not keep it to himself.  
He says "Ma'am that is the nicest pussy that I have ever seen.  I want to fill
it up with ice cream and eat it out."  



The woman can hardly believe what she has just heard, and proceeds to
slap the young gentleman.  When she arrives home she tells her husband
the whole story.  Her husband is the take charge kind of guy and after
he hears his wife's story, he just sits there.  She replies,"Well
aren't you going to do anything?".  



He says "No, for three reasons:



1. You don't need any more shoes,
2. You should have had on underwear, and
       3. I'm not going to fu(k with someone who can eat that much ice cream.
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