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Posted: 8/1/2005 8:31:01 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 7:48:58 PM EDT by SeeknDestroy]
A little background..I was in an accident when i was about 15, put a pin in my ankle, in the joint. After high school I tried to enlist in the army, air force, even the coast guard. They all told me the same thing, get lost.

Fast forward. I am now 25 life is going great, engaged, good job, all the bs...but I still have a desire to enlist. So I hear that the military is getting a little more aggressive with their low recruitment numbers and that I could enlist as long as a doc signs off on my ankle. But I'm getting conflicting statements, even the local army recruiter doesn't have a straight answer so what's the deal???

Question 2...The woman thinks I'm completely nuts for even trying to enlist, gave me the whole bit "what about her" and "i didn't sign on for this" and "how could you do this, it messes everything up" shit...I'm I being insensitive or is she being a bitch?

Lets hear it...

I obtained my medical papers and met with the recruiter again. He seemed more confident about my chances. He's sending the paperwork to MEPS and I'll know midweek if they will even see me.

Meantime, spoke with the woman and she's done a 180...it's unbelievable, she is know fully aware of everything the military has to offer and the life to expect. She doesn't understand why I want to do it and she says she'll back me 100% even though it will be a sacrifice for the both of us.

I'm confident I'll do extremely well on the ASVAB. Now my next question is...What are the best Army jobs without having a security clearance? The people I have talked to have all said "do not be blinded by the bonus", my brother made that mistake. So to sum it up..what jobs does the Army offer that will be in high demand in the civilian sector after discharge?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:34:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 8:35:06 PM EDT by TheRedHorseman]
I know a few guys who have pins in their ankles from a nice little botched helo insertion who do just fine, in fact one just got his E6 promotion two months ago.

EDIT: but this happened after they were in, so getting in might still be a problem. however a waiver can fix just about anything
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:35:01 PM EDT
I don't know shit about your medical issues.

But I do know this. Your fiancee's reaction to your potential military service should be a MAJOR red flag. I will bet you whatever you want that, based on the comments you have attributed to her, your marriage will either not happen or (most likely) end in divorce if you join.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:35:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 8:37:55 PM EDT by olfajarley]
answer 1, get use to not getting straight answers if you do decide to enlist.

MEPS is the only place that can tell you for sure, reguardless of the branch, if you can join......if I were you i would schedule an appointment at MEPS and it can save you and the recruiter alot of time....

Im not even gonna touch the second question
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:35:59 PM EDT
Ifyou don't try, you'll hate yourself forever.
Oh, and explain to the girl that this is who you are.
She'll understand.
I left a cushy no deployment job to go to Iraq and left my wife and two kids.
If my wife can understand, anybody can.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:37:25 PM EDT
Dump the selfish woman, get a waiver.


Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:39:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 8:45:23 PM EDT by PBIR]
#1) If the MEPs doc knows about the condition and signs off on it you're good to go. (hypothetically, if MEPs doesn't know about it and you keep your trap shut you're good to go)

#2) Try a few more heart-to-hearts with her in attempt to make her understand how important this is to you. If those fail, you need to decide which is more important to you, the fiance or enlisting. Nobody else can make that decision for you.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:39:17 PM EDT
holy shit...are you in the military?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:41:32 PM EDT
Wow what a bitch. You can do whatever you want and right now they will waiver you in if you bug them enough. If you join she can either suck it up and go along or sit her ass on the curb. She sounds like a whiny liberal. Why would defending your country "mess everything up"? She had better own her own business or be an executive with a job that just can't be replaced to have an attitude like that.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:41:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SeeknDestroy:
holy shit...are you in the military?

I was, but that happened after I got out. And I'm too busted up in several other ways as well, to get back in, much to my disgust.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:46:14 PM EDT
i have 2 brothers serving in the middle east...i feel like i'm missing out...i tried to explain this to her but not sure what's gonna happen. she is completely clueless about the military...i can't wait till she tells her mother, LOL..she already thinks i'm crazy...
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:49:50 PM EDT
For better or until everything gets messed up...
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:52:32 PM EDT
I agree that if you don't try you will hate yourself for it and regret it for the rest of your life.


I am pretty sure that your fiancé will still not understand. If you had been married for a while and it was a good relationship, it would probably be different. More than likely, she will cheat on you while you are deployed and you'll get a dear John at the absolute worst time. Not trying to be funny, but this happens all too often for the same exact reasons.

If enlisting is something you feel you want and must do, and believe that knowing you served (especially in combat) will something important to you within yourself, then you will probably leave the woman and serve. This isn't necessarily bad, but if she doesn't embrace it and support you (obviously being concerned and worried aside) then it probably isn't worth it.

Good luck.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 8:58:40 PM EDT
Don't go off to basic and AIT or worse yet a deployment and leave that girl at home. Nothing good can come of it. I saw too many guys with "fiancees" at basic who got dear johns after just three or four weeks. Tell her the relationship is on hold and that this is something you have to do to feel worthwhile as a man when you get up in the morning. I tell you, if you don't, you will kick your own ass a little (sometimes alot) every day.

Pin in your ankle: Get the doc at MEPS to sign off on you, and you are good to go. Run two miles with the recruiter (in less than 16 minutes preferabbly) and you shouldn't have any problems. You can always lie to the recruiter, they will lie to you. But that ankle better be good to go, as far as PT is concerned, cause if you lie about it, and wind up crashing, you will be in a world of out-processing shit.

Good luck. I'd say cynically that even if you decide not to do it, you should take a real good look at your relationship. She sounds like a pretty selfish person.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:02:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:04:44 PM EDT
if the doc signs off on the ankle i will do a delayed enlistment so i can prepare for basic...i've already started...i even quit smoking, well I decided to dip instead...i don't even have the green light but i'm already pumped...
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:10:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 9:10:30 PM EDT by MachinegunManiac]
Enlist if you truly desired. Your fiancee is being a total selfish self-centered bitch and will maek a horrible wife. This is a red flag to RUN, RUN far away from her as fast as you can. Whether or not you enlist, if you marry this girl you will be in for a very miserable life. She is howing early signs that your dreams and desires mean nothing to her and it's all about her. Relate this to other matters and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Follow your dreams, you have only one life!

Stay away from this she-devil and find a woman that actually cares about what you think/feel/desire.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:14:36 PM EDT
i appreciate the help...keep it coming...anybody know of people who enlisted after 25? how did they do? etc..
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:18:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 9:21:43 PM EDT by Sukebe]
I you can't serve in the active, reserve or guard components, check this out; ohmr.ohio.gov At least it's serving.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:20:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SeeknDestroy:
i appreciate the help...keep it coming...anybody know of people who enlisted after 25? how did they do? etc..



I went to basic with one crazy guy who was 34, he did great, but he was one motivated mofo. a few guys in my platoon were over 25, they did about as well as the high school age guys.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:25:08 PM EDT
In boot camp we had a guy that was 26 and he did just fine .If the ankle doesn't bother you in cold weather .I see no problem going in. The only flaw in your plan. Join the MARINES
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:26:51 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 9:27:40 PM EDT by MachinegunManiac]

Originally Posted By SeeknDestroy:
i appreciate the help...keep it coming...anybody know of people who enlisted after 25? how did they do? etc..


Umm try 30's. He enlisted same way that I enlisted. You're at a fine age to enlist. You can even still go Special Forces if you wanted to. Cut-off for SF is 30 methinks.

Plus with your edumacation you can get rank(and I don't mean just stinky).
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:29:06 PM EDT
If you love this woman, don't do it. You WILL lose her. If that doesn't matter to you then, go for it.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:30:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By walrus:
If you love this woman, don't do it. You WILL lose her. If that doesn't matter to you then, go for it.



wouldnt this be a classic "if she loves you she'll stick with you" moment?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:31:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MachinegunManiac:

Originally Posted By SeeknDestroy:
i appreciate the help...keep it coming...anybody know of people who enlisted after 25? how did they do? etc..


Umm try 30's. He enlisted same way that I enlisted. You're at a fine age to enlist. You can even still go Special Forces if you wanted to. Cut-off for SF is 30 methinks.

Plus with your edumacation you can get rank(and I don't mean just stinky).




I have an associates, the recruiter said I would be an e3...my little brother is 22 an is soon to be an e5
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:33:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By walrus:
If you love this woman, don't do it. You WILL lose her. If that doesn't matter to you then, go for it.



wouldnt this be a classic "if she loves you she'll stick with you" moment?



exactly. short of cheating, anyway.....
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:34:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By walrus:
If you love this woman, don't do it. You WILL lose her. If that doesn't matter to you then, go for it.



wouldnt this be a classic "if she loves you she'll stick with you" moment?



Yes, but we're not talking about her love for him, are we? While I agree, if she really did love him as well, she would understand. Most woman these days don't understand the military at all though. I'm just pointing out what will happen if he enlists. If he'd rather do that then marry the girl, then go for it.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:34:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheRedHorseman:

Originally Posted By walrus:
If you love this woman, don't do it. You WILL lose her. If that doesn't matter to you then, go for it.



wouldnt this be a classic "if she loves you she'll stick with you" moment?




It would be a hell of a story to pick up pie though.....
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:37:30 PM EDT
Is your leg okay in the cold weather or does it get real sore .The reason I ask I have one in my ankle to.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:42:25 PM EDT
If she leaves you if you enlist then she doesn't really love you. She then only loves you in your sircumstances or loves your situation. Last I checked marraige was for better or worse and a wife is supposed to be supportive., Maybe I have really screwed up standards or maybe there's a good reason why divorce rates are so high.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:44:31 PM EDT
i've had no serious problems with my ankle..but i have been somewhat inactive, i feel 3-4 months of training and I'll know if I can make it..
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:49:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 9:53:48 PM EDT by DEATHDEALER]
I just turned 31 yesterday, and when I told my wife of wanting to enlist , I expected a smartassed answer,but the first thing out of her mouth was,"Thats fine by me Honey,I'll back you every step of the way ,but I want half your enlistment bonus, a new glock.40 and OBL's fucking head on a pike. I tend to like my ladies, less than 5 ft and violent ,baby
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 9:51:02 PM EDT
Getting back in shape and training , thats the fun part. I wish I was young enough to go back in.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 6:08:45 AM EDT
If you are having marraige problems this enlistment could solve two of your problems.

Besides that just join up, youll never regret it.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 6:11:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/2/2005 6:11:47 AM EDT by PBIR]
Your age is not a factor at all as long as you are in decent shape. You are in the lower half of the age spectrum for enlistment. Run, run, run, run, run, run,and run some more before you ship. Oh, and don't forget to run.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 6:42:22 AM EDT
- How active are you right now? Do you know that the pin in your ankle isn't going to cause you any pain from strenuous activity?

- Is your girlfriend always so supportive?
- What is your "good job"? If you decided to switch careers or quit your job to try to get into a better position somewhere else is she going to pull the same shit?
- Does she know what's going on in the world and that Americans have a tendency to want to take an active role in defending what this country stands for?

Not saying you should cut her loose but you should certainly have a serious discussion with her if you are serious about doing this and you find out that you will be able to join.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 6:50:01 AM EDT
Dude. Life as a member of the armed forces is hard enough, with out the added stress of a pissed off wife at home. I think you can actually be discharged for familial hardships. But then again its been a few years since i was in.

And, Being 25 is kind of an odd age to enlist at. Being at the bottom of the ladder are you prepared to take orders from a 19 year old.

Just some thing to think about, but good luck with what ever your choice will be.

Link Posted: 8/2/2005 7:04:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SemperParatusEmt:
Dude. Life as a member of the armed forces is hard enough, with out the added stress of a pissed off wife at home. I think you can actually be discharged for familial hardships. But then again its been a few years since i was in.

And, Being 25 is kind of an odd age to enlist at. Being at the bottom of the ladder are you prepared to take orders from a 19 year old.

Just some thing to think about, but good luck with what ever your choice will be.




I've known plenty of people past 25 who enlisted...hell, half the guys I worked with were over 28 and I outranked them at 22.

If anything, the extra age will help, because you've already been successful outside of the military, and have that maturity that your supervisors will be looking for, which means faster promotions.

If you want to do it, do it.

I'm 25 and after 5 1/2 years of Navy service and nearly a year out, am considering going back in, only going Army this time, and trying out for Ranger/Special Forces.

Good luck with whatever you decide!
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 7:04:48 AM EDT
As has been mentioned, military life is difficult enuff without the baggage that you will be bringing (unhappy woman and damaged ankle).

Give it a shot, but be forewarned that the first several years generally suck.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 7:07:48 AM EDT
If you want in... go try to get in. All they can do is say NO. A common theme around my shop, You can waive ANYTHING.

Good luck,
~Dg84
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 1:28:01 PM EDT
You need to do some more research. It ain't like it is on tv.
Link Posted: 8/2/2005 1:51:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By kaizoku:

Originally Posted By SemperParatusEmt:
Dude. Life as a member of the armed forces is hard enough, with out the added stress of a pissed off wife at home. I think you can actually be discharged for familial hardships. But then again its been a few years since i was in.

And, Being 25 is kind of an odd age to enlist at. Being at the bottom of the ladder are you prepared to take orders from a 19 year old.

Just some thing to think about, but good luck with what ever your choice will be.




I've known plenty of people past 25 who enlisted...hell, half the guys I worked with were over 28 and I outranked them at 22.
If anything, the extra age will help, because you've already been successful outside of the military, and have that maturity that your supervisors will be looking for, which means faster promotions.

If you want to do it, do it.

I'm 25 and after 5 1/2 years of Navy service and nearly a year out, am considering going back in, only going Army this time, and trying out for Ranger/Special Forces.

Good luck with whatever you decide!



Well, Good for you, did you enjoy your Good Cookie Medal? I was just offerinf advice, but forgive me please ole great one!
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 7:25:45 AM EDT
Getting in is the hard part. Metal stuff inside the body is a bad thing. Once you're in, however, you can be beat to crap, have asthma, missing digits, etc. and still stay in.
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:22:58 AM EDT
You need your original surgery documents, a follow up visit documentation from your Doctor. Do not be the least bit suprised if you are turned down until you remove the pin. If it is holding your joint together, you have a 1% or less chance of getting a waiver. I am currently working on a guy with a pin in one of his feet. Until it is removed my MEPS will not even consider a waiver.

The other problem is the home life. I think you got enough opinions on the situation with the MRS. Its not a good thing not to have 100% support at home.

No matter what you do, thanks for coming forward! Best of luck.

SGT F
Link Posted: 8/3/2005 11:58:43 AM EDT
Whatever the docs say, keep pushing. If they don't know and you don't have noticable scars I'd not mention it and work on the "I forgot" or "I didn't think you meant that" technique.

Getting in is what matters.

As far as the your woman, she is right, she didn't sign up for that. So either she gets onboard, you seperate, or you don't go in. Being in with a woman who does not support you is a ticket to failure.

I've served while single and while having a very supportive woman. Being supported is much easier than going it alone, but I've also seen hundreds of guys have their dreams smashed by unsupportive wives and girlfriends.



Link Posted: 8/5/2005 7:52:09 PM EDT
self serving bump...first time I updated a post....read it all on the 1st post
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 8:00:08 PM EDT
When you say good job. Do you mean really well paid. If you think you can get a good paying job later in life then go for it. Have you went to college yet? You could have it paid for you after you get out.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 8:04:36 PM EDT
i'm far better paid than anyone I know my age....the one thing the recruiter told me that I did not realize was that the college tuition can now be passed to any dependent...the woman liked that..
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 8:14:36 PM EDT
man you have a tough one to figure out. Good luck.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:08:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SeeknDestroy:
Meantime, spoke with the woman and she's done 180...it's unbelievable, she is know fully aware of everything the military has to offer and the life to expect. She doesn't understand why I want to do it and she says she'll back me 100% even though it will be a sacrifice for the both of us.



Translation of her original statements: "I love you, please don't leave me, or get yourself killed"

She was being a normal lady in this situation, here's her logic: If you enlist, it will mean a hard life for both of you, mainly from you two being apart so much. There is also the very real risk you could be killed or badly injured.

You should consider her logic in this, because there is much truth to it. Enlisting in the military could get you killed, and leave her heartbroken, that's a simple fact. Anywhere between 18 and 28 we men tend to think our bones are titanium and our skin is kevlar, but they aren't. A womans fears in this situation are not unreasonable. Then again neither is the wish to defend your country, so these two issues should be considered in relation to each other.

The fact she has decided to support you is a very good sign, if she is being truthful it means she really does love you, and that's all you can ask. There are only a few real tests of someones love and commitment, one of them is a willingness to endure otherwise avoidable hardship for your partner.

These are the kind of things which put relationships through the fire, either they will melt and fall apart, or be made stronger, any relationship that survives military service is a near indestructible one.

That being said however, even some good relationships do not survive military service, many people like to say 'if she loves you, she'll go along with it'. But I'm not really sure this is totally true, there are limits even in love, I would consider this deeply before moving on, is service worth any risk in your relationship with her?

I wish you well, with both your service and your relationship. Keep us updated.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:19:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SemperParatusEmt:

Originally Posted By kaizoku:

Originally Posted By SemperParatusEmt:
Dude. Life as a member of the armed forces is hard enough, with out the added stress of a pissed off wife at home. I think you can actually be discharged for familial hardships. But then again its been a few years since i was in.

And, Being 25 is kind of an odd age to enlist at. Being at the bottom of the ladder are you prepared to take orders from a 19 year old.

Just some thing to think about, but good luck with what ever your choice will be.




I've known plenty of people past 25 who enlisted...hell, half the guys I worked with were over 28 and I outranked them at 22.
If anything, the extra age will help, because you've already been successful outside of the military, and have that maturity that your supervisors will be looking for, which means faster promotions.

If you want to do it, do it.

I'm 25 and after 5 1/2 years of Navy service and nearly a year out, am considering going back in, only going Army this time, and trying out for Ranger/Special Forces.

Good luck with whatever you decide!



Well, Good for you, did you enjoy your Good Cookie Medal? I was just offerinf advice, but forgive me please ole great one!



Nice. Very classy. Nithing like insulting our troops.
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