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Posted: 8/22/2017 8:25:56 PM EDT
Dad - he doesn't have much time.

Uncle - Currently in chemo for pancreatic cancer.

Uncle - Prostate cancer in remission

I quit my job June 8 and moved 1500 miles back in with Dad and Mom to spend time with him and will be around to help Mom after he passes.

I'm not sure what I'll look like financially after the dust settles but every person I've seen write about losing a parent says they wish they had more time with them.

Make time to enjoy the good things in life. Not many fish were caught but the smiles, laughter and conversation were priceless.

Fuck cancer
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:27:39 PM EDT
[#1]
My dad died at 60 from cancer. I wish I had more time with him. Fish away. Also give him a hug.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:27:40 PM EDT
[#2]
Good on you OP. We moved to be closer to mom after dad passed. Best move ever made and I'll never regret it....ever.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:27:43 PM EDT
[#3]
Good for you

Oh and get checkups.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:27:56 PM EDT
[#4]
Bless you, and each of them.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:27:56 PM EDT
[#5]
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:30:01 PM EDT
[#6]
Good on you OP my mom got sick and was gone within months spend all the time you can with them. A bad day fishing beats a good day at work every time
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:30:27 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
My dad died at 60 from cancer. I wish I had more time with him. Fish away. Also give him a hug.
View Quote
My Dad is 59.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:37:41 PM EDT
[#8]
Thanks for the reminder OP. I need to make time to do that with my own dad while he's still around.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:40:54 PM EDT
[#9]
I talked to my dad one day and he told be he wanted me to come over.  I told him I would try to make it, but my wife told me I had other "plans / responsibilities".  My dad died the next day.

He had previously apologized to me for not being able to have my young daughters visit as it was just too much (I took care of the girls back then while my wife worked weekends, etc.).  He also told me once that "you have to understand, something is going on here".  I knew he had issues, but my understanding was that they were benign and mostly caused side effects.

Long story short, my Dad had pancreatic cancer and didn't tell us.  I'm sure my Mom knew, but the kids didn't.  I just found out two years ago when I re-read his death certificate.  My Dad refused treatment since there really wasn't any back then (1986) and there still isn't much.  Bottom line, I didn't pick up on any of his hints and regret it to this day.  I don't blame my wife because if I thought something was going on I would have just told her what I was doing.

I'm sort of left feeling like a dipshit.  No one came out and said anything, but there were clues and hindsight is 20/20.

It is awesome what you are doing.  A big life's step to do what is important and the right thing to do.  I wish I had a second chance.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:48:06 PM EDT
[#10]
Enjoy the time with them while you can OP.

FUCK CANCER!
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:48:18 PM EDT
[#11]
You won't regreat it OP.  You can always get another job.  You can't get more dad time.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:50:31 PM EDT
[#12]
You didn't take any pics? Or Is that too personal?
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:50:57 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I talked to my dad one day and he told be he wanted me to come over.  I told him I would try to make it, but my wife told me I had other "plans / responsibilities".  My dad died the next day.

He had previously apologized to me for not being able to have my young daughters visit as it was just too much (I took care of the girls back then while my wife worked weekends, etc.).  He also told me once that "you have to understand, something is going on here".  I knew he had issues, but my understanding was that they were benign and mostly caused side effects.

Long story short, my Dad had pancreatic cancer and didn't tell us.  I'm sure my Mom knew, but the kids didn't.  I just found out two years ago when I re-read his death certificate.  My Dad refused treatment since there really wasn't any back then (1986) and there still isn't much.  Bottom line, I didn't pick up on any of his hints and regret it to this day.  I don't blame my wife because if I thought something was going on I would have just told her what I was doing.

I'm sort of left feeling like a dipshit.  No one came out and said anything, but there were clues and hindsight is 20/20.

It is awesome what you are doing.  A big life's step to do what is important and the right thing to do.  I wish I had a second chance.
View Quote
I'm sorry it unfolded like that for you. Everyone wants to sugarcoat everything and remain positive but I'm a realist. That's why I came home to see what was going on first hand. If you haven't found peace with your decision I truly hope that you do. We are humans and can't be right 100% of the time.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:51:24 PM EDT
[#14]
Sucks man. I'm sorry. Hoping for the best for all of them.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:51:34 PM EDT
[#15]
OP, put a video recorder in front of him and let him make some videos for you and the kids in the future...private things the wants to share down the road after he is gone...
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:51:43 PM EDT
[#16]
Good job.

FC
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:54:16 PM EDT
[#17]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Good on you OP. We moved to be closer to mom after dad passed. Best move ever made and I'll never regret it....ever.
View Quote
We did the exact same thing.

Only regret is not doing it sooner to spend time with Dad.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:55:08 PM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You didn't take any pics? Or Is that too personal?
View Quote
There were a few taken on their phones. One Uncle left early because he forgot some of his meds at home and he had the shot of the four of us. That one I'm going to have him send me.

I'm not much of a picture guy and only have one of my Dad and the Uncle that stayed the remainder of the day at their request.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 8:56:01 PM EDT
[#19]
Prayers for you and your family.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:00:35 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
Dad - he doesn't have much time.

Uncle - Currently in chemo for pancreatic cancer.

Uncle - Prostate cancer in remission

I quit my job June 8 and moved 1500 miles back in with Dad and Mom to spend time with him and will be around to help Mom after he passes.

I'm not sure what I'll look like financially after the dust settles but every person I've seen write about losing a parent says they wish they had more time with them.

Make time to enjoy the good things in life. Not many fish were caught but the smiles, laughter and conversation were priceless.

Fuck cancer
View Quote


Fuck cancer indeed! I'm sitting in a hospital room recovering from my second cancer surgery. Prayers for your loved ones!
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:03:36 PM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Fuck cancer indeed! I'm sitting in a hospital room recovering from my second cancer surgery. Prayers for your loved ones!
View Quote
Thank you and here's to a speedy recovery.

Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:03:55 PM EDT
[#22]
OP, you're a good Son. Actually, you're a good Man.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:08:49 PM EDT
[#23]
You did the right thing OP. There will be plenty of jobs around later. Your family is more important than anything else.

I lost my step father to a very sudden, aggressive case of cancer a few years ago. All he wanted was to get out of the hospital bed and go do what you did today.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:11:06 PM EDT
[#24]
You will not regret your decision. The last 3 1/2 years of my mother's life I earned less than $20,000. No bill ever went unpaid and she was as comfortable as someone can be with bone cancer. I promised my dad the day before he died that my mother would not die in the hospital if there was any other way. She died peacefully at home 1/12/15 at 2:42 pm.

My finances were proper fucked when she died. I ran up a bit of credit card debt during that time.  I'm making very good money for this area and will soon be debt free. Don't worry about the money. The memories will always be more valuable.

Be strong for your mother. Mine had almost 33 years after dad died. She got to see the grand kids grow up and have their own kids.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:11:58 PM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Fuck cancer indeed! I'm sitting in a hospital room recovering from my second cancer surgery. Prayers for your loved ones!
View Quote
Haven't seen you post in a bit. Not to derail the thread, but how's your treatment going?
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:13:42 PM EDT
[#26]
All i wished for when I went through chemo was to be back on the river in better health with a bent rod

Fuck cancer
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:20:20 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
All i wished for when I went through chemo was to be back on the river in better health with a bent rod

Fuck cancer
View Quote
Are you back to that routine now?
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:21:06 PM EDT
[#28]
I remember the last time my dad and I took my grandfather fishing. He was in the grip of Alzheimers. He wasn't talking a whole lot any more, and couldn't use a reel anymore, so we set him up with a cane pole, and he was just thrilled. I'll never forget it. He said, "Thank you guys, this was the most fun I've had in, well, I don't remember how long."

A beautiful and heart-rending day that I wouldn't trade for a thing.

Good on you, OP. You're a damned fine man. You and yours will be in my prayers.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:23:00 PM EDT
[#29]
Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. The next couple months are gonna be rough and through your kindness and ass-hattery it'll be a little easier.

Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:24:03 PM EDT
[#30]
you're a good son and nephew, good karma will always come to you.

family first, always.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:27:48 PM EDT
[#31]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I remember the last time my dad and I took my grandfather fishing. He was in the grip of Alzheimers. He wasn't talking a whole lot any more, and couldn't use a reel anymore, so we set him up with a cane pole, and he was just thrilled. I'll never forget it. He said, "Thank you guys, this was the most fun I've had in, well, I don't remember how long."

A beautiful and heart-rending day that I wouldn't trade for a thing.

Good on you, OP. You're a damned fine man. You and yours will be in my prayers.
View Quote
Your grandfather's quote put a hell of a smile on my face. These guys were also busting jokes all day.  
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:38:01 PM EDT
[#32]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. The next couple months are gonna be rough and through your kindness and ass-hattery it'll be a little easier.

View Quote
Money comes and goes. The love of your family (especially in their last days) lasts forever.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:42:07 PM EDT
[#33]
We buried my dad a week ago today. He was diagnosed with cancer July 11th. He died August 7th.
We had planned on going fishing again, but he had wrist surgery back in March and wasn't cleared from that until just before his diagnosis. We had planned to shoot as well, as he had just purchased a new M1A.

Good on you OP for doing what your doing. I wish I could fish or shoot one more time with my dad.
Link Posted: 8/22/2017 9:53:54 PM EDT
[#34]
Good on ya OP. You can get your life back in order later. You won't get your Dad back. Enjoy the moments, record things, ask questions about his background and upbringing, Go fishing again.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 6:35:55 AM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
We buried my dad a week ago today. He was diagnosed with cancer July 11th. He died August 7th.
We had planned on going fishing again, but he had wrist surgery back in March and wasn't cleared from that until just before his diagnosis. We had planned to shoot as well, as he had just purchased a new M1A.

Good on you OP for doing what your doing. I wish I could fish or shoot one more time with my dad.
View Quote
Sorry you lost him before getting to do those things. I intended to build us a 100yd range on his property but the most recent brain tumor has destroyed his vision. I think shooting now would only cause him more frustration.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 7:57:53 AM EDT
[#36]
I hope you guys can get in many more fishing trips
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 9:49:53 AM EDT
[#37]
Lung cancer killled my dad at 61 but a few months before he died some of his old buddies took him bird hunting one last time. They called it a day when they realized dad was so tired he was starting to have trouble holding up his shotgun but he had an absolutely great time. No matter what happens you won't regret taking the time while you can.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 9:51:39 AM EDT
[#38]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Good on you.

You'll never regret that.

View Quote
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 9:55:58 AM EDT
[#39]
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 10:27:26 AM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Probably one of my favorite Far Side comics
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 10:39:09 AM EDT
[#41]
OP

You're doing a great thing, I did the same when my grandfather was sick with cancer. My mother asked me to live with her to help out with him. I'm glad I did, I got to know a great man that I never knew was there. He told me in detail all the things he went through on his 25 missions over Germany in a B24.

I found out, he'd never told my uncles or my mom and aunt any of that. The guy had a great sense of humor and was just awsome to be around.

Funny I never saw that when we visited. Anyways, enjoy your time with him. It means a lot more to him than you know.

Take care
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 11:42:13 AM EDT
[#42]
Are you part of healing waters?

We have a great chapter here who run an amazing program.

Either way thanks for doing such noble work.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 11:47:04 AM EDT
[#43]
Did you manage to find a friendly spot on the Juniata? Hope you're finding some quality time either way OP.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 11:49:00 AM EDT
[#44]
Give your dad a hug for me too.

He has a good son.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 12:53:48 PM EDT
[#45]
OP cherish this time with your dad. I don't think that there is one of us on this site (that had a good relationship with our parents) that wouldn't give anything to have 5 more minutes with them once they are gone. The older generation never told us was just how much it hurts to lose your parent(s), or at least mine didn't.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 1:11:15 PM EDT
[#46]
OP you are doing the right thing, my dad went in for a routine surgery right before Christmas 2016.  Five strokes later, his body is here but he is not. I regret everyday that him and I fought two weeks before his procedure. Even though I took him to the hospital it was tense.....I never got to tell him I was sorry.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 2:09:27 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Are you part of healing waters?

We have a great chapter here who run an amazing program.

Either way thanks for doing such noble work.
View Quote
While in CO I had been kicking around a similar idea. I never could get the local waters figured out. That held me back from offering organized trips for veterans. I know a bad day of fishing is better than sitting around staring at a wall all day but I honestly never caught a damn fish in the flat featureless lakes of the CO front range. God gave no walleye talent whatsoever to this bass fisherman.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 2:11:16 PM EDT
[#48]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Did you manage to find a friendly spot on the Juniata? Hope you're finding some quality time either way OP.
View Quote
No, we headed for Huntington one morning and there were thunderstorms down there. We were hoping the weatherman was wrong as he is most of the time anyway.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 2:12:46 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I hope you guys can get in many more fishing trips
View Quote
We will. Do you lake fish up there or just rivers and streams? Some day I'll learn the fine art of fly fishing.
Link Posted: 8/23/2017 2:14:12 PM EDT
[#50]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

We will. Do you lake fish up there or just rivers and streams? Some day I'll learn the fine art of fly fishing.
View Quote
I fish everything when I can, I prefer river fishing though for trout or salmon.   As for learning fly fishing there is nothing to it, just another way to fish.  
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