Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login
Site Notices
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Posted: 8/25/2004 9:11:21 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 11:26:19 AM EST by cat_aclysm]
Ok, the last time I took the kids to the neighborhood pool, it started some thinking. There were about a dozen children (not including mine) at the pool when we arrived. Between the 18 year old with 3 kids under 4 from 3 different fathers (none of whom she was ever married to), the 4 children who were getting ready to go back to Mom's house for the school year, and the 2 who were living with their grandparents for one reason or another, I realized that my 2 kids were the only ones at the pool who lived with both parents. It occured to me what an effect it would have on my boys if their father and I seperated. Our marriage is their stability. No wonder the youth of today has so many issues.

I laid awake trying to figure out where things went so wrong. Just 20 or 30 years ago, illegitimate children were rare and divorce was something to be ashamed of. What happened?? In the early 60s, the pill was introduced, and then came "free love", but that eventually was cast (somewhat) aside, then a landmark supreme court decision in 1973 made it possible for casual sex to replace baseball as America's favorite pass time. I have seen pregnancy listed as a "side effect" of sex. WTF? It isn't a side effect, it's the POINT. My kids are not "side effects". I'm beginning to think that our society's lax attitude towards sex is going to be the downfall of Western civilization.

Anyway, I have ranted enough for now, and the kids need me. Feel free to call me "old fashioned" or "no fun" or whatever.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:18:32 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Ok, the last time I took the kids to the neighborhood pool, it started some thinking. There were about a dozen children (not including mine) at the pool when we arrived. Between the 18 year old with 3 kids under 4 from 3 different fathers (none of whom she was ever married to), the 4 children who were getting ready to go back to Mom's house for the school year, and the 2 who were living with their grandparents for one reason or another, I realized that my 2 kids were the only ones at the pool who lived with both parents. It occured to me what an effect it would have on my boys if their father and I seperated. Our marriage is their stability. No wonder the youth of today has so many issues.

I laid awake trying to figure out where things went so wrong. Just 20 or 30 years ago, illegitimate children were rare and divorce was something to be ashamed of. What happened?? In the early 60s, the pill was introduced, and then came "free love", but that eventually was cast (somewhat) aside, then a landmark supreme court decision in 1973 made it possible for casual sex to replace baseball as America's favorite pass time. I have seen pregnancy listed as a "side effect" of sex. WTF? It isn't a side effect, it's the POINT. My kids are not "side effects". I'm beginning to think that our society's lax attitude towards sex is going to be the downfall of Western civilization.

Anyway, I have ranted enough for now, and the kids need me. Feel free to call me "old fashioned" or "no fun" or whatever.



Quoted, and tagged, as proof that there is at least ONE sane woman under the age of 30 left in the world, even if she is already married.



I'm beginning to think that our society's lax attitude towards sex is going to be the downfall of Western civilization.


Other members may laugh at you for that. Don't worry....you're right.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:31:02 AM EST
Consinder yourself lucky. I am a divorced father. My children are NOT illegitimate. However, I must pay an amount every week in which I have no say in how said monies are spent, or how my chldren are raised and are set without regards to my income.

Why did it happen? It was not accidents that the children were born. The union itself was the mistake on many levels. I could go on but it's probably not the right forum to do so.

I do ask, however, where is the fairness when I pay to someone who's remarried and denies me on every occassion to have any part of my childs life yet I'm remarried with children and no one pays me?

So, two families of four but one must give 50% of his income to the other.

Sorry, rant off.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:39:43 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:40:56 AM EST
Please disregard my last. I've had a tough day today and happened upon this thread and needed to vent a little. As a rule, I don't air my laundry nor should have I done such in the ladies forum.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:42:14 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 9:44:17 AM EST by wedge1082]

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Ok, the last time I took the kids to the neighborhood pool, it started some thinking. There were about a dozen children (not including mine) at the pool when we arrived. Between the 18 year old with 3 kids under 4 from 3 different fathers (none of whom she was ever married to), the 4 children who were getting ready to go back to Mom's house for the school year, and the 2 who were living with their grandparents for one reason or another, I realized that my 2 kids were the only ones at the pool who lived with both parents. It occured to me what an effect it would have on my boys if their father and I seperated. Our marriage is their stability. No wonder the youth of today has so many issues.

I laid awake trying to figure out where things went so wrong. Just 20 or 30 years ago, illegitimate children were rare and divorce was something to be ashamed of. What happened?? In the early 60s, the pill was introduced, and then came "free love", but that eventually was cast (somewhat) aside, then a landmark supreme court decision in 1973 made it possible for casual sex to replace baseball as America's favorite pass time. I have seen pregnancy listed as a "side effect" of sex. WTF? It isn't a side effect, it's the POINT. My kids are not "side effects". I'm beginning to think that our society's lax attitude towards sex is going to be the downfall of Western civilization.

Anyway, I have ranted enough for now, and the kids need me. Feel free to call me "old fashioned" or "no fun" or whatever.



If you are old fashioned then I am too.

edit - I hope your thread talks some sense into a few of the people here... Most likely it won't though.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:42:58 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:55:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
Please disregard my last. I've had a tough day today and happened upon this thread and needed to vent a little. As a rule, I don't air my laundry nor should have I done such in the ladies forum.

No problem, man, I understand bad days. I am sorry that you don't get to spend time with your kids, that is unbelievably sad and selfish on the mother's part. THey are the ones suffering the worst.

T_B_S, I agree with you in part, the shift towards women in the work force has played a part in all of this, but I think the attitude that sex is just about pleasure and not about procreation is a much bigger factor.

Children have become commodities instead of blessings. They serve as a pretty little decoration for Christmas cards, then Mommy n Daddy ship them off to daycare where they can pay someone else to do the dirty work raising them. Single folks can go out and have sex all they want, and if the birth control fails, Mommy can run out to planned parenthood and get herself an abortion because it isn't convenient to have a kid. It used to be common wisdom not to have sex with anyone you wouldn't want to raise a child with, but now it doesn't matter because you can always make those "side effects" go away if you can't prevent them in the first place. Remember that old addage "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"? Marriage is meaningless if it is socially acceptable to raise children without a parent and to screw anyone you want.

Instead of saying "til death do us part" most people should say "ah, I'll give it a shot....."
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:02:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By TeuffelHunden1775:
Please disregard my last. I've had a tough day today and happened upon this thread and needed to vent a little. As a rule, I don't air my laundry nor should have I done such in the ladies forum.

No problem, man, I understand bad days. I am sorry that you don't get to spend time with your kids, that is unbelievably sad and selfish on the mother's part. THey are the ones suffering the worst.

T_B_S, I agree with you in part, the shift towards women in the work force has played a part in all of this, but I think the attitude that sex is just about pleasure and not about procreation is a much bigger factor.

Children have become commodities instead of blessings. They serve as a pretty little decoration for Christmas cards, then Mommy n Daddy ship them off to daycare where they can pay someone else to do the dirty work raising them. Single folks can go out and have sex all they want, and if the birth control fails, Mommy can run out to planned parenthood and get herself an abortion because it isn't convenient to have a kid. It used to be common wisdom not to have sex with anyone you wouldn't want to raise a child with, but now it doesn't matter because you can always make those "side effects" go away if you can't prevent them in the first place. Remember that old addage "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"? Marriage is meaningless if it is socially acceptable to raise children without a parent and to screw anyone you want.

Instead of saying "til death do us part" most people should say "ah, I'll give it a shot....."



You're absolutely right. Except it's not only making the "side effects" go away but I can profit on them. I had this happen to me while I was in the Corps. Too much to go into but it's true.

It's gone from "til death do us part" to "until I get out of it what I want." Not in all instances but the system has set up those circumstances and there are those who take advantage of it.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:02:38 AM EST
I've been a best man at weddings five times,not one of those marriages
has lasted. (I hope I'm not bad luck!) My wife and I have been married
for 25 years and do not have one other married couple as friends any more.

Pretty sad

GM
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:07:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
I've been a best man at weddings five times,not one of those marriages
has lasted. (I hope I'm not bad luck!) My wife and I have been married
for 25 years and do not have one other married couple as friends any more.

Pretty sad

GM



If you were the bad luck, you wouldn't be celebrating 25 years of marriage.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:12:40 AM EST

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
I've been a best man at weddings five times,not one of those marriages
has lasted. (I hope I'm not bad luck!) My wife and I have been married
for 25 years and do not have one other married couple as friends any more.

Pretty sad

GM

I know what you mean. One of my best friends has been married a year to the guy she lived with for 4 years before they were married, and they have nearly divorced twice allready. They cancelled the wedding once before they finally did it. It's really sad. They both got married thinking, "if it gets too hard, we can always get divorced." The vows meant absolutely nothing. It was a chance to wear a pretty white dress and get all their friends and family together for a party.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:29:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By goodmedicine:
I've been a best man at weddings five times,not one of those marriages
has lasted. (I hope I'm not bad luck!) My wife and I have been married
for 25 years and do not have one other married couple as friends any more.

Pretty sad

GM

I know what you mean. One of my best friends has been married a year to the guy she lived with for 4 years before they were married, and they have nearly divorced twice allready. They cancelled the wedding once before they finally did it. It's really sad. They both got married thinking, "if it gets too hard, we can always get divorced." The vows meant absolutely nothing. It was a chance to wear a pretty white dress and get all their friends and family together for a party.



Unfortunately that's excatly what it's come to. I want my moment in the spot light and if things don't work out, divorce, and do it again.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:29:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 10:30:36 AM EST by irish007]
Just throwing in my 2 cents....
First of all not single parents are the result of divorce. My mother became a single parent when my father died and she was left to raise 3 children alone(the oldest being 10 with a mental handicapp). She was truly alone in raising my siblings and I because both sides of our "family" abandoned her. Second of all, my mother had no choice but to work as she was the sole provider for the family. Not mention her pride and work ethic would prevent her from collecting welfare. As a result of my mother's working, I was placed into day care for a couple of years until I was old enough for school and my mom still did all the dirty work. I realize that this might the exception and not the rule but I thought I might offer up a different persepctive. *Irish puts away her soapbox*



As to catasomething orginal post, I agree 100% with that. I'm under 30 and the behavior of people my age makes me cringe.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:37:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By irish007:
Just throwing in my 2 cents....
First of all not single parents are the result of divorce. My mother became a single parent when my father died and she was left to raise 3 children alone(the oldest being 10 with a mental handicapp). She was truly alone in raising my siblings and I because both sides of our "family" abandoned her. Second of all, my mother had no choice but to work as she was the sole provider for the family. Not mention her pride and work ethic would prevent her from collecting welfare. As a result of my mother's working, I was placed into day care for a couple of years until I was old enough for school and my mom still did all the dirty work. I realize that this might the exception and not the rule but I thought I might offer up a different persepctive. *Irish puts away her soapbox*



As to catasomething orginal post, I agree 100% with that. I'm under 30 and the behavior of people my age makes me cringe.

I am in no way trying to condemn all single parents. I understand that some are that way because of circumstances beyond their control, and they are trying to make the best of it, and I admire them for it. I am irritated with those who make bad decisions because they know that they won't have to deal with the consequences. I am irritated with the fact that it is perfectly acceptable in this day and age to have kids out of wedlock or pick up and abandon your marriage when things get rough. I am irritated that pregnancy is considered a "side effect" of sexual behavior these days.... etc. I applaud your mother for working and raising her kids as best she could, and I didn't mean to offend you.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:39:34 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 10:43:43 AM EST by irish007]
No offense taken just offering a different perspective Sorry, if you thought I attacking you.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:44:45 AM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Ok, the last time I took the kids to the neighborhood pool, it started some thinking. There were about a dozen children (not including mine) at the pool when we arrived. Between the 18 year old with 3 kids under 4 from 3 different fathers (none of whom she was ever married to), the 4 children who were getting ready to go back to Mom's house for the school year, and the 2 who were living with their grandparents for one reason or another, I realized that my 2 kids were the only ones at the pool who lived with both parents. It occured to me what an effect it would have on my boys if their father and I seperated. Our marriage is their stability. No wonder the youth of today has so many issues.

I laid awake trying to figure out where things went so wrong. Just 20 or 30 years ago, illegitimate children were rare and divorce was something to be ashamed of. What happened?? In the early 60s, the pill was introduced, and then came "free love", but that eventually was cast (somewhat) aside, then a landmark supreme court decision in 1973 made it possible for casual sex to replace baseball as America's favorite pass time. I have seen pregnancy listed as a "side effect" of sex. WTF? It isn't a side effect, it's the POINT. My kids are not "side effects". I'm beginning to think that our society's lax attitude towards sex is going to be the downfall of Western civilization.

Anyway, I have ranted enough for now, and the kids need me. Feel free to call me "old fashioned" or "no fun" or whatever.

There are a number of identifiable factors, the above being one of them. Another is the undue attention to diversity, which is turning us from a melting pot nation to a bunch of ethnic groups fighting for attention.
Do you have an available sister, who is judicious in flinging her poo?

Luckily for the men of the world, both of my sisters are spoken for. However, considering that they have each been divorced twice, there is still potential...

I do have a good high school friend who I still have contact with from time to time who is 24 and still a virgin waiting to find a husband. She's drop dead gorgeous to boot, but she lives in PA. If she ever moves to TX, I'll tell her to look you up.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:17:00 AM EST
And here I thought you were going to rant about the thong bikini's on 9 year olds!
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:20:44 AM EST
Hey Cat is this thread directed towards the author of some recent sex threads?
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:22:18 AM EST
Since this is my rant thread, I'm going to continue....

Let's compare two 16 year old girls who find themselves pregnant, one in 1950, and the other today. The girls tell their mothers. In 1950, the (typical) mother's reaction would have been, "you need to get married and grow up and take responsibility for yourself" Today, the (modern) mother's reaction would be, "are you going to have an abortion? adoption? Your life is over if you get married." Getting married young will get in the way of your screwing around with multiple men and "enjoying your sexuality", you know. In 1950, if the family and friends of this girl heard that she wasn't getting married, they would shake their heads and feel sorry for the child, but in todays world, it is the other way around. Getting married and having children used to mark the beginning of your adult life, but now it marks the end of your wonderful, carefree youth. It is more important to have fun (meaning; have sex with as many partners as possible) than it is to grow up and be responsible. Kids are a hindrance unless you have allready sown your wild oats and established your all important career.

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:23:38 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Hey Cat is this thread directed towards the author of some recent sex threads?

This thread is aimed at no one in particular, I am just ranting about something that has been bothering me for a while.

DpC, the bikinis on 9 year olds is another rant for another thread.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:27:16 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my kids generation. And my child is not legitamate either. We didn't get married until 2 months after he was born.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:29:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Since this is my rant thread, I'm going to continue....

Let's compare two 16 year old girls who find themselves pregnant, one in 1950, and the other today. The girls tell their mothers. In 1950, the (typical) mother's reaction would have been, "you need to get married and grow up and take responsibility for yourself" Today, the (modern) mother's reaction would be, "are you going to have an abortion? adoption? Your life is over if you get married." Getting married young will get in the way of your screwing around with multiple men and "enjoying your sexuality", you know. In 1950, if the family and friends of this girl heard that she wasn't getting married, they would shake their heads and feel sorry for the child, but in todays world, it is the other way around. Getting married and having children used to mark the beginning of your adult life, but now it marks the end of your wonderful, carefree youth. It is more important to have fun (meaning; have sex with as many partners as possible) than it is to grow up and be responsible. Kids are a hindrance unless you have allready sown your wild oats and established your all important career.

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my daughter. She is only a month old, but it scares the hell out of me thinking about the future.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:30:14 AM EST
"who that is?"

"that just my baby's daddy"

Tag because I came in late and everybody already said what I would have.

WWII - check
sexual freedom - check

And add to it that for a long time parenthood played second fiddle to career when it comes to sources of pride and self respect. Being a stay at home mom was frowned uppon. I'm glad that women have worked so hard that we can have good careers if we want them, but it makes me sad that it came at the expense of respect for the career of parenthood.

I think respect for Mommahood is making a come back, either that or I don't notice my 2nd class citizenship because I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:30:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By Blackriflefever:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my kids generation. And my child is not legitamate either. We didn't get married until 2 months after he was born.



I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say your family/child have a better-than-average chance of 'making it'.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:32:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By Blackriflefever:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my kids generation. And my child is not legitamate either. We didn't get married until 2 months after he was born.

We waited until after our oldest was born as well, so I'm not trying to imply that I am a saint. What matters is that you 2 are married now. Don't put your son through a divorce. My parents were as dysfunctional as they come, but at least they were dysfunctional under one roof.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:36:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By Blackriflefever:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my kids generation. And my child is not legitamate either. We didn't get married until 2 months after he was born.

We waited until after our oldest was born as well, so I'm not trying to imply that I am a saint. What matters is that you 2 are married now. Don't put your son through a divorce. My parents were as dysfunctional as they come, but at least they were dysfunctional under one roof.



I got married for life. Through thick and thin. But divorce is sometimes an option. I am glad my parents got divorced because the court made us go to counceling that helped alot, which we would not have went to had the parents stayed married.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:40:23 AM EST

Originally Posted By Blackriflefever:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By Blackriflefever:

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

<sigh> I worry about my children's generation.



I too worry about my kids generation. And my child is not legitamate either. We didn't get married until 2 months after he was born.

We waited until after our oldest was born as well, so I'm not trying to imply that I am a saint. What matters is that you 2 are married now. Don't put your son through a divorce. My parents were as dysfunctional as they come, but at least they were dysfunctional under one roof.



I got married for life. Through thick and thin. But divorce is sometimes an option. I am glad my parents got divorced because the court made us go to counceling that helped alot, which we would not have went to had the parents stayed married.

Same here on getting married for life. If my hubby wants out of hte marriage, one of us will have to die....

I understand that divorce is sometimes neccessary, even most Churches will admit that. I consider adultery or abuse to be the only valid reasons for leaving a marriage, and even those can be overcome in limited circumstances. Of course, that may seem awfully closed-minded of me..... Oh, well, call me closed-minded, then.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:48:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
Same here on getting married for life. If my hubby wants out of hte marriage, one of us will have to die....




Hey no fair!!! you shoot better than I do
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 11:52:32 AM EST

Originally Posted By geekdude:

Hey no fair!!! you shoot better than I do




I feel your pain man. I have to worry about this one also.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 1:36:00 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 7:33:45 PM EST by DpC]
But it isn't even single irresponsible people having kids. I recently was ranting to my husband about a friend of mine whose wife wants to be pregnant again by Nov. because she wants another kid. First off her son is only 14 months old now. Kids are not accessories, they aren't trophies to show off to your friends. To make it worst, both of these friends work - they have the grandmothers split responsibility of watching their son during the week. Did anyone bother to ask the REAL person that is raising their son if THEY wanted to take on another child? Yeah its all easy and convenient to keep having kids and expect someone else to take care of them! Why don't they scale down their lifestyle so the mother can quit her job and take care of the one she already has??
I guess it just really pisses me off because having another child in their situation is just damn selfish. they aren't even (in my couch potato holier than thou opinion) really taking responsibility for the one they already have.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 4:54:37 PM EST
Sniff.

Ya'll brought a little tear to my eye. Of all places to find some sanity in this world, I wouldn't have expected the AR15.com Womens's Forum to be it.

Bravo ladies....
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 5:00:42 PM EST
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 5:37:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By DoubleFeed:

Originally Posted By Zhukov:
Sniff.

Ya'll brought a little tear to my eye. Of all places to find some sanity in this world, I wouldn't have expected the AR15.com Womens's Forum to be it.

Bravo ladies....

The guys who frequent this forum have been accused of being gay. As you see, we are sane



Well some of us anyway

My mother [the public health nurse] had the best idea. Tie everybodies tubes [boys and girls] till they are ready to raise children.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 5:44:30 PM EST

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:
My mother [the public health nurse] had the best idea. Tie everybodies tubes [boys and girls] till they are ready to raise children.

I know you probably meant that as a joke, but a lot of people suggest this and/or requiring permits to have kids, and all I have to say is: Look how well that worked for China! I'm not suggesting that reproductive rights become restricted at all. We need less government, not more.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 5:46:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:

Originally Posted By StonerStudent:
My mother [the public health nurse] had the best idea. Tie everybodies tubes [boys and girls] till they are ready to raise children.

I know you probably meant that as a joke, but a lot of people suggest this and/or requiring permits to have kids, and all I have to say is: Look how well that worked for China! I'm not suggesting that reproductive rights become restricted at all. We need less government, not more.



+1.

Whoever first had the tube-tying idea probably had their heart in the right place, but if people would just keep their pants on.......
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 5:49:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By arowneragain:
but if people would just keep their pants on.......



+1
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 7:20:40 PM EST

Originally Posted By diabolical_chicken:

Originally Posted By arowneragain:
but if people would just keep their pants on.......



+1



+2
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:29:42 PM EST
I agree. I am 24 years old and back when I was little (not too long ago) divorce was rare. I was one of the only children in class with divorced parents. Now my daughter is one of the few with married parents. We've gone from not talking about sex with our kids, to not talking about why not to have sex .
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 9:52:04 PM EST
[Last Edit: 8/25/2004 9:53:15 PM EST by GabbasaurusRex]
Man. It's refreshing to hear that. That is my exact opinion. It's a bit tougher with me though, seeing as I am only 20.

People my age are the group that enforces and celebrates the "seize the moment" attitude when it comes to sex. I still can't fathom it, seeing as how "casual sex" is such a foreign concept to me. For me, sex is anything but casual. It's not some serious, strict matter in which no one should enjoy it and it should only be used for procreation; that's not my opinion at all. But it does matter greatly to me, being one reason why I've held onto my virginity - not necesserily for marriage, but so when I finally do make that choice, it will be with someone who it matters to just as much - do these people even exist anymore?

I was flipping through channels the other day and stumbled onto a special on the shortest celebrity marriages - some a few months, some a few weeks, some just even a few hours! It bummed me out because I had always seen marriage as such a sacred thing and now it's been turned into a quick fix for far too many people. I began to wonder the last time that society viewed marriage as what it's really supposed to be.

I guess it's just really disheartening to see things like my 21-year-old friend have to go through the pain of divorce after 8 months of marriage because he came home and found his wife in bed with another man.

Just makes me so much more determined to be smart about marriage and not to become another statistic.
Link Posted: 8/25/2004 10:57:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Just makes me so much more determined to be smart about marriage and not to become another statistic.



If more people where of your mind, the divorce rate wouldn't be what it is now. To bad marriage has to have more than one person to work. Unforunataly not everybody is on the same page, most of my str8 freinds went into the marriage for the right reasons only to find out they married a assh#le.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 2:32:05 AM EST
My husband and I when we got married took it seriously. When we had our son I stayed home and when I did go back to work it was part time nights so he always had one parent with him. I felt I needed to be there to pick him up from school and to be home with him. It was never a question of whether he would be in day care. We decided early on that I would be home. We wanted our morals and ideals not someone elses pressed upon him. When we found out I was pregnant my husband had just gotten out of the Army,if he had not gotten the job he did at the university,he would have gone back in,but things work out for a reason. He started that job making 19,000 a year. We may not have had all the toys we do now,but we always had a roof over our heads,and groceries in the house. It really gets me when I hear well we can't live on one income,well yes you can,but you might not be able to eat out all the time,or go on expensive vacations,etc.,etc., you just have to scale back and as the kids get older you can do more and buy the toys you wanted. My son when he was in school [elementary] came home and asked why we weren't divorced? Since just about all the other kids in his class their parents were. Then he thought we should. Told him that was not going to happen. As he has gotten older we find my husband and I are a minority. Even when we went to parent teacher conferences,they were always surprised that my husband would come to. We have done everything as a team and united,which has worked for us. Granted at times things seemed tough, but we look back and some of our best times is when we had very little money. I do hope that maybe some in this generation of kids will go back to what others consider being old fashioned. Either that or I'm just getting old and was considered old before my time.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 2:43:50 AM EST
<Rant>And TV makes sex look like such a splendid casual thing....then they can not understand the girl who threw her baby in the dumpster, and says she did not know she was pregnant.....</Rant off>

grrrr....

Married for life, 25 years ago, but never had any children. Unfortunately, it makes you see the generations in a different light. The little monsters that are out there have no morals or respect for anything. Of course, they are not all bad, but the ones you see on the streets really make you wonder.

I sincerely feel for parents dealing with children in our time. Good luck.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 3:28:54 AM EST
I agree, some of the kids you see make you wonder. A couple of kids I work with are going to be teachers,and I actually told them I feel sorry for them,since alot of kids have no morals,respect,etc. There is no way I would want to be a teacher today since kids would rather tell you off or worse.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 3:33:48 AM EST
Hey Cat,

You have any single sisters?
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 4:30:06 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 4:47:39 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/26/2004 4:49:10 AM EST by TomJefferson]
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 5:08:07 AM EST

We've gone from not talking about sex with our kids, to not talking about why not to have sex.


Actually I must be in the minority on this one. I tell my girls everyday why they SHOULD NOT have sex. From the STD's to the pregnancy, and on and on.
I hope everything I have said has sunk in. My oldest is 17 (God help me) she has been in a relationship with the same guy for 2 years now. I think she is to young to be so exclusive, but they are good together. As far as I know, she has listened to me, she hasn't had sex. Hubby says I am niave and yes they are having sex. What bothers me though was she made a comment a few weeks back, said when I graduate S and I are going to move in together. WHAT? I know this line of thinking is normal today, I did it too with hubby now, but man I was 30 some years old when we met and swore I would never marry again. She'll be 19. How do I go about approaching this one? It's all to common place to try it out now, then marry, and if things don't work out, ok divorce here we come. Todays morals are really at an all time low. Kinda scary to think what they may be when they baby is all grown up, I know I'll be to old then to have a good handle on it.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 6:18:53 AM EST
MrsWildweasel, I know what you mean. It irritates me to see all these people that put material desires before their children. We have made a lot of sacrifices in order for me to stay home with the kids. It's even worse when you hear them actually argue that daycare is good for the kids.


Originally Posted By MrsGungho:

We've gone from not talking about sex with our kids, to not talking about why not to have sex.


Actually I must be in the minority on this one. I tell my girls everyday why they SHOULD NOT have sex. From the STD's to the pregnancy, and on and on.
I hope everything I have said has sunk in. My oldest is 17 (God help me) she has been in a relationship with the same guy for 2 years now. I think she is to young to be so exclusive, but they are good together. As far as I know, she has listened to me, she hasn't had sex. Hubby says I am niave and yes they are having sex. What bothers me though was she made a comment a few weeks back, said when I graduate S and I are going to move in together. WHAT? I know this line of thinking is normal today, I did it too with hubby now, but man I was 30 some years old when we met and swore I would never marry again. She'll be 19. How do I go about approaching this one? It's all to common place to try it out now, then marry, and if things don't work out, ok divorce here we come. Todays morals are really at an all time low. Kinda scary to think what they may be when they baby is all grown up, I know I'll be to old then to have a good handle on it.

I have no idea how to combat the prevailing attitude that sex is a casual thing and that marriage is nothing more than a pretty ceremony and a big party. Some days it seems completely hopeless. Society as a whole is telling our kids that sex is just something fun to do with whoever you happen to be dating. I'd like to hear some thoughts on how to combat this. So far, we limit television, and only videos or DVDs since we don't have cable. I'd like to find a mid sized church with good youth groups as well, but not a "progressive" church that avoids condemning premarital sex. Of course I will teach them, but this doesn't seem like enough. Maybe others have some ideas.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 6:26:46 AM EST
Mrsgungho, I wish you luck. My son who is 18 and graduated this year has been with this girl for awhile too. As my husband has repeatedly told me he is 18 and considered an adult. You just have to hope that how you have raised them have some bearing with them. I know I have to let him make his own mistakes,but sometimes it is really hard to watch. When my husband and I married he was 20 and I was 23. I compare my son to my husband and see how immature my son is at 18.My husband reminds me we were both in the Army at the time,so I am hoping that when my son completes boot camp that he will hopefully have matured some.On a side note we can always let them know we are there for our kids.
Link Posted: 8/26/2004 6:30:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
MrsWildweasel, I know what you mean. It irritates me to see all these people that put material desires before their children. We have made a lot of sacrifices in order for me to stay home with the kids. It's even worse when you hear them actually argue that daycare is good for the kids.




Ditto this, I worked when the girls were little, I even worked after our baby was born a year and a half ago, but we worked opposite shifts. Hubby got switched to days, I had no other option but days or quit. I quit. I can't put my baby in daycare knowing the best place for him is at home. He can get interaction with playdates and such.
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Top Top