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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 7/31/2005 11:57:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/31/2005 11:58:53 PM EDT by MonkTx]
I was minding my business out in the garage, resizing some 30 carbine brass while listening to Skynard when I became aware of a hissing sound around my feet. I looked down an saw a dry leaf by my bare foot and thought I must have bumped it and heard it scraping on the floor.

Went back to my trimming and heard it again so I got curious. I started to nudge the leaf when it jumped at me, hissing and then it clamped on my little toe. I then did the"Ohgodwhatisit getitoffme" dance, knocking crap over left and right and shrieking the shriek I used to reserve for spiders. Well, I fell down and was now on the beasts' level but I finally realized my attacker was a wayward but mighty ambitious toad.

It's been about ten minutes now and the heart attack did not come, so I am going back out to finish my brass and try to get the little guy out of my garage.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:08:32 AM EDT
I wear shoes
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:14:25 AM EDT
Shoes. Yes, I believe so.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:17:43 AM EDT
powned buy a toad.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:20:56 AM EDT
I hear by issue a manlessness citation and you have 5 points against your man licence.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:24:48 AM EDT
Well, that was your cardio for the night.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:27:21 AM EDT
It's "pwned"... In 1337 speak the P replaces the O...... So "He was PWNED by a toad".


Originally Posted By sysop:
powned buy a toad.

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:28:25 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:31:39 AM EDT
You pussy.



What did your better half have to say about it?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:34:14 AM EDT
OK, you lose 2 points by showing us your quivering mangina. However you gain 2 points by having the balls to post that story. So, you're even. You would have lost more points if the incident had been witnessed by anyone. You were lucky this time.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 12:38:31 AM EDT
In my defense, I have to say- It is not normal for land lubbing amphibians to go on the offensive against something a thousand times it's size- I was caught off guard.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 1:03:09 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MonkTx:
In my defense, I have to say- It is not normal for land lubbing amphibians to go on the offensive against something a thousand times it's size- I was caught off guard.



What ever you want to tell your self to help you sleep, is fine with us.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 1:12:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By bblake00:

Originally Posted By MonkTx:
In my defense, I have to say- It is not normal for land lubbing amphibians to go on the offensive against something a thousand times it's size- I was caught off guard.



What ever you want to tell your self to help you sleep, is fine with us.



Link Posted: 8/1/2005 1:19:51 AM EDT
holy shit that made my night!
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:27:39 AM EDT
Hey, cut the guy a break. This was probably a mutant ZOMBIE toad. Soooo, instead of taking away points, we outta be giving the guy a few for surviving the attack without using heavy weapons.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:31:40 AM EDT
What were you doing, spelling cool like this: kewl?


Oooh, you got attacked by a toad. Well, that isn't so bad. At least you got to find out your adrenaline system still works.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:36:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
It's "pwned"... In 1337 speak the P replaces the O...... So "He was PWNED by a toad".


Originally Posted By sysop:
powned buy a toad.





actually, it's pwn3d, if you wanna get super geeky
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:40:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tin_Star:
OK, you lose 2 points by showing us your quivering mangina. However you gain 2 points by having the balls to post that story. So, you're even. You would have lost more points if the incident had been witnessed by anyone. You were lucky this time.

+1
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:45:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By xxTAPxx:

Originally Posted By FieroLoki:
It's "pwned"... In 1337 speak the P replaces the O...... So "He was PWNED by a toad".


Originally Posted By sysop:
powned buy a toad.





actually, it's pwn3d, if you wanna get super geeky

I put PWNED into my l33t speak generator this is what it gave PWNEd

BTW nice I have never had a toad attack my toe before
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:46:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MonkTx:
I then did the"Ohgodwhatisit getitoffme" dance





I've been known to do that dance before.
Thankfully, no one had a camcorder at
those times.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:18:14 AM EDT
Why didn't you just draw down on the toad?
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:28:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 338winmag:
Why didn't you just draw down on the toad?

Assuming the toad was still on his toe I would think that he would like to keep his toe
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:33:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 5:33:55 AM EDT by FLAL1A]
By wearing sandals, you started out behind the , manhood-wise. Your reaction to the toad was just an exclamation point on the declaration of gender ambivalence you made with your footwear.

I reserve the right to withdraw this comment if it is shown that the poster was barefoot, or is an actual monk.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:38:04 AM EDT
You should have seen me when I slipped on a pair of duck club chest waders that had a mouse in it. I set the world record for "Exiting waders- male division 30 yrs and above." Still stands.

Another time I slipped mine on in the cabin and wondered why my crotch was on fire. Aptly named, Fire Ants. They had come in under the sill, and colonized my waders folded up on the floor. I've heard of people in the southwest checking their boots for scorpions in the morning- guess you'd better recon your garage.

ps, I don't agree with those who are suggesting we transfer your team membership to the toad.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:39:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
By wearing sandals, you started out behind the , manhood-wise. Your reaction to the toad was just an exclamation point on the declaration of gender ambivalence you made with your footwear.

I reserve the right to withdraw this comment if it is shown that the poster was barefoot, or is an actual monk.



Footwear aside, it was the pink nail polish that caught the toad's attention.
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:42:39 AM EDT

Originally Posted By callgood:
You should have seen me when I slipped on a pair of duck club chest waders that had a mouse in it. I set the world record for "Exiting waders- male division 30 yrs and above."




I can't breathe!
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:47:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
By wearing sandals, you started out behind the , manhood-wise. Your reaction to the toad was just an exclamation point on the declaration of gender ambivalence you made with your footwear.

I reserve the right to withdraw this comment if it is shown that the poster was barefoot, or is an actual monk.



Footwear aside, it was the pink nail polish that caught the toad's attention.
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



I blame the schools.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 5:52:12 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Tin_Star:
OK, you lose 2 points by showing us your quivering mangina. However you gain 2 points by having the balls to post that story. So, you're even. You would have lost more points if the incident had been witnessed by anyone. You were lucky this time.



I agree he loses 2 points for exposing his quivering mangina, however what is more chick-like than to then run and tell everyone hoping for someone to provide manly comfort? So I say he loses 2 more points for a total of 4.

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:03:28 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 6:05:19 AM EDT by FLAL1A]

Originally Posted By blackrifle51:

Originally Posted By Tin_Star:
OK, you lose 2 points by showing us your quivering mangina. However you gain 2 points by having the balls to post that story. So, you're even. You would have lost more points if the incident had been witnessed by anyone. You were lucky this time.



I agree he loses 2 points for exposing his quivering mangina, however what is more chick-like than to then run and tell everyone hoping for someone to provide manly comfort? So I say he loses 2 more points for a total of 4 net of -2.




And I'm a history major, for Pete's sake.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:04:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By macman37:

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
By wearing sandals, you started out behind the , manhood-wise. Your reaction to the toad was just an exclamation point on the declaration of gender ambivalence you made with your footwear.

I reserve the right to withdraw this comment if it is shown that the poster was barefoot, or is an actual monk.



Footwear aside, it was the pink nail polish that caught the toad's attention.
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



I blame the schools.



Oh,I am SO embarrassed!
My very first attempt at being a spelling Nazi,and Oops!
The shame of it all!
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:12:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 6:17:33 AM EDT by Ohio]

Originally Posted by Dave15:
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



Don't you just hate it when you mess up a spelling flame?

Karma, man; you're just not cut out for it.

[edit for semi-colon use]
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:13:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By macman37:

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By FLAL1A:
By wearing sandals, you started out behind the , manhood-wise. Your reaction to the toad was just an exclamation point on the declaration of gender ambivalence you made with your footwear.

I reserve the right to withdraw this comment if it is shown that the poster was barefoot, or is an actual monk.



Footwear aside, it was the pink nail polish that caught the toad's attention.
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



I blame the schools.



Oh,I am SO embarrassed!
My very first attempt at being a spelling Nazi,and Oops!
The shame of it all!



Wait until the space bar Nazis show up.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:14:03 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ohio:

Originally Posted By Dave15:
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



Don't you just hate it when you f*ck up a spelling flame?



Go easy on me.It was my First.And Last.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:20:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By Ohio:

Originally Posted By Dave15:
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



Don't you just hate it when you f*ck up a spelling flame?



Go easy on me.It was my First.And Last.



You are forgiven. Now use a space after punctuation (not including hyphen use) and mind your capitalization, OK?

Sheesh.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:23:07 AM EDT
Yeah, but it worked! You had him right where he wanted you.


Originally Posted By MonkTx:
In my defense, I have to say- It is not normal for land lubbing amphibians to go on the offensive against something a thousand times it's size- I was caught off guard.

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:28:41 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ohio:

Originally Posted By Dave15:

Originally Posted By Ohio:

Originally Posted By Dave15:
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



Don't you just hate it when you f*ck up a spelling flame?



Go easy on me.It was my First.And Last.



You are forgiven. Now use a space after punctuation (not including hyphen use) and mind your capitalization, OK?

Sheesh.




oKey- dOkeY
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:45:14 AM EDT
You didn't let him lick any of your body parts did you?

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:53:36 AM EDT
-2 points off your "Man Card"

Quick flex and a "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" in the front driveway (must be shirtless, daylight and in boxers ) should restore the lost points.
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 6:55:21 AM EDT
LOL...I'm picturing that episode of America's Funniest Home Videos where that one guy was surprised by someone who jumped out of a coffin. I think it was a Halloween theme. Anyway, the guy that got spooked quivered like he was being electrocuted and screamed some woman-like, high pitched shrill.

Was that what you were like?!?!
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 7:22:57 AM EDT
First a little background. I'm pretty much an average joe. Spent some time in the Marines and work in the security business. Not a bad-ass, but no pussy either.
I used to keep two free-ranging ferrets in my apartment. The female of the duo was always somewhat half-wild (Psycho Really). One morning my alarm went off and I got out of bed to shut it off. As my hand touched the alrm I felt the little wack-jobs teeth bury themselves to the gum line on/in my ankle.
YES ladies and gentlemen, a Marine hard-ass can scream like a little girl, I did the one-legged get the F off of me I'm bleedin' dance. I had the presence of mind to shut off the alarm (She must of responded to it like a wounded rabbit call, saw my foot moving and went for it). Luckily no firearms were in reach or I may of blown my own foot off trying to ex-nay the little shit.
Thereafter I made damn sure the little fur-covered razor blade was on lock-down at lights out. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
By the way, I knew a toad (Bubba) out in Florida who chased cats away from the food dish. Ray
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 7:42:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MonkTx:
I was minding my business out in the garage, resizing some 30 carbine brass while listening to Skynard when I became aware of a hissing sound around my feet. I looked down an saw a dry leaf by my bare foot and thought I must have bumped it and heard it scraping on the floor.

Went back to my trimming and heard it again so I got curious. I started to nudge the leaf when it jumped at me, hissing and then it clamped on my little toe. I then did the"Ohgodwhatisit getitoffme" dance, knocking crap over left and right and shrieking the shriek I used to reserve for spiders. Well, I fell down and was now on the beasts' level but I finally realized my attacker was a wayward but mighty ambitious toad.

It's been about ten minutes now and the heart attack did not come, so I am going back out to finish my brass and try to get the little guy out of my garage.


I get a bunch of those big wierd "Camel Cricket" things in my gun room and everytime I see one I about freak out. I HATE THEM!!!!
Link Posted: 8/1/2005 7:51:20 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ohio:

Originally Posted by Dave15:
And it's spelled SYNYRD.That is all.Dave



Don't you just hate it when you mess up a spelling flame?

Karma, man; you're just not cut out for it.

[edit for semi-colon use]



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