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Posted: 4/26/2014 5:29:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/26/2014 5:30:21 PM EDT by The_Reaper]
I was mowing the lawn earlier today.  I was using foam shooting ear plugs shoved into my ear canals deep, and safety glasses.

I noticed a guy walking towards my house.  He was eying me, then the front door, then me, then the front door.

I stop and take a couple of steps towards him.  I point towards my ear and say "I can't hear you".

I wasn't about to take the ear plugs out to talk to a solicitor.  I was hoping he would just go away.

He points towards his ear and mouths something, but I literally can't hear shit with the ear plugs in, and the mower a couple feet from me.

I take a few steps closer, turn my head, and point towards the ear plug.  I turn to face him, and say louder "I can't hear you".

He points to his ear and mouths something again.  Now I'm getting pissed.

I see he is holding a stack of note card size papers.  He hands me one.  It was a combination of hand written and type.  I hold it far enough away so I could read it, but it was gibberish.

He literally yanks it from my hand, turns it over and puts it back in my hand.  I was holding it upside down.  Oops.  
If it wasn't a bad copy of a copy, and didn't have hand written shit on it, I probably could have figured it out faster.

It started out "Hi, my name is Steve and I'm deaf".

I'm pretty sure I turned red from embarrassment, but I couldn't help but chuckle because I had just made a scene about not being able to hear.  

The guy grabbed it from my hand and left.  Pissed.

I saw the word "donate".  I'm not sure what else was on it.

I'm going to hell.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:32:15 PM EDT




I literally dropped my beer because of my post. It's spilled all over the carpet. So you owe me half of a Modelo.  
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:35:56 PM EDT
Don't feel bad OP, in fact fuck'em. Seems like he's racist against your hearing impairment. Damn racists.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:36:12 PM EDT
Deaf people should be banned .
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:36:26 PM EDT
That's funny. But in the grand scheme of things, he was probably just a solicitor .
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:38:16 PM EDT
That's so fucked up, but so funny at the same damn time.



Bravo, OP.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:38:42 PM EDT
Visualize............... two deaf guys yelling at each other on the front lawn.

Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:38:58 PM EDT
I've done similar things...one time I was with my wife and I was pissed at these black ladies who were parking in the handicapped parking spot and nothing looked wrong with them and I voiced my opinion out loud so they could here me....then I saw that one of them was actually crippled and pulled out her walker contraption as I slowly drove by...  

Yep I felt like a big douche.  My wife slapped me
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:39:17 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By STUBBO:
That's funny. But in the grand scheme of things, he was probably just a solicitor .
View Quote


Probably.  I mean, he sounded like Chewbaca.  But I thought it was just the ear plugs.

I suppose anyone can fake being hearing impaired.

Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:40:15 PM EDT
that is possibly the funniest thing i've read in months.

needs a video though
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:42:07 PM EDT
Lol


I'd have felt like a dick, but it's not like it was done on purpose.... Shit happends
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:43:12 PM EDT
Dibs on OP's stuff.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:45:47 PM EDT
I don't see where being deaf means you can't have a normal productive life... There is many a day I wish I couldn't hear the BS going on around me.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:47:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:49:36 PM EDT
I had one call me on the phone asking for donations to take the retarded kids to the Circus.  I told him that he was a no good bastard and that those kids had a herd enough life without him trying to put them in a circus. He stuttered and sputtered as he tried to tell me that he wasn't going to put them in....I called him a heartless son of a bitch and hung up on him.

I was young. My only defense.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:49:43 PM EDT
He probably wasn't really deaf you know.

I saw a cardboard sign beggar at an intersection the other day pacing around with a limp.
If your leg hurts so much you have to limp, you won't be pacing around aimlessly.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:52:05 PM EDT
I was sanding a car in the driveway with a compressor running. I would stop and slap the sandpaper in my hand in a clapping motion to release the dry paint from the paper.
I looked up to see the trash guy saying something to me and  looking very pissed. I couldn't hear him over the compressor and he kept on repeating himself so I walked out to see what he was going on about.

When I got close enough to hear him he was yelling "clap all you want I make a hundred dollars a day"
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:55:48 PM EDT
I have had s deaf man hand me one of those little flowers with nothing but a note saying "I am deaf but but I will take no hand outs. I am looking for work and will do whatever odd job you need done for a fair wage. Whether or not you can help me out God bless you."

I paid him $20.00 to weed the flower beds. He did a good job too. Never saw him again though.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:58:23 PM EDT
Had one slide up on mom right quick like and try that... I bellowed "BIG MISTAKE MOTHERFUCKER!" he jumped.
He tried to put that note card shit in my hand and I tore it up called him a faking ass motherfucker and he should run really fucking fast or I was going to cave his fucking skull in.

I had my mouth covered and he had no hearing devices but he hauled ass super fast knowing I was on to his bullshit.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 5:59:50 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Baronvonhussong:
I was sanding a car in the driveway with a compressor running. I would stop and slap the sandpaper in my hand in a clapping motion to release the dry paint from the paper.
I looked up to see the trash guy saying something to me and  looking very pissed. I couldn't hear him over the compressor and he kept on repeating himself so I walked out to see what he was going on about.

When I got close enough to hear him he was yelling "clap all you want I make a hundred dollars a day"
View Quote


At 5 days week, that's $26,000/year.
He's living the dream.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:02:30 PM EDT
Lol. I giggled.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:04:25 PM EDT
Glad I've never done something so stupid!

Like the time I asked one of my employees when she was going to have her baby.....she says "He's in the car, I had him last month".

or when I asked a New Commit in the prison what he was smuggling in that fold of skin on his neck.....he says "It's a cancerous tumor, I have maybe 6 months to live".

Yup, I am a real smooth operator.....lots more........
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:06:07 PM EDT
So when he was walking away you shut the mower off and yelled "HEY ASSHOLE"! Right?

I'll bet he would have at least flinched.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:09:10 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
I'm going to hell.
View Quote


Maybe but not from that! LOL

Screw those "please help me because I'm poor and spend all day walking around begging for money" assholes.  I get them all the time at my business.

As if there aren't 87,000 social programs to help the needy and job programs for disabled people.  I bet they make better money panhandling for their "disability" than they could working (probably drawing SSD too).
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:12:42 PM EDT
classic
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:23:37 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Pangea:
I had one call me on the phone asking for donations to take the retarded kids to the Circus.  I told him that he was a no good bastard and that those kids had a herd enough life without him trying to put them in a circus. He stuttered and sputtered as he tried to tell me that he wasn't going to put them in....I called him a heartless son of a bitch and hung up on him.

I was young. My only defense.
View Quote


That sounds like a good Monty Python skit.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 6:42:52 PM EDT
was somewhere eating and a guy came in and handed out cards to everyone, then started to get upset when nobody handed him money. Finally somebody read the whole thing and figured out he was asking for donations. I think everyone handed them back, maybe 1 person gave him money.
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 8:44:42 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Mister-Z:
Visualize............... two deaf guys yelling at each other on the front lawn.

View Quote



Link Posted: 4/26/2014 9:20:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/26/2014 9:29:10 PM EDT by I-M-A-WMD]
Have a buddy that works for the city driving dump truck.  This job is never popular when working a residential area.  The workers can't get it done fast enough to suit the residents, but as my buddy notes - If you drive quickly you'll get complaints lobbied.

The one guy wrote in to complain and then actually flagged my buddy down in front of his house as he was pissed at the traffic and felt they needed to slow down.

The guy climbed up to the window and lights into my buddy for driving his dump truck to damn fast through the neighborhood.  When he paused for a reply my buddy put on a hair - lip monotone sans enunciation.  Grimacing convincingly and essentially yelling in the guy's face it went something like this:

Buddy: (Shouting for effect) "HUH!? Yu hav ta speek slower. Um def! (As he points to his ear) I CAN RED YOU LIPS!

Guy: "Oh. .. Um, pleeeeease.... (clasps hands in begging fashion) sloooow....(waves his hand toward ground) down... whiiile.... driiiving.... (makes motion of cranking on steering wheel) pasttt..... (waves arm up and down street in wild fashion) houssessss. ...(makes a triangular tip in the air over a square)

Buddy: Nah THAT SLO! I M DEF! NOT RETARD'D...

Guy: Oh.... (Repeats his request a little quicker and more fluidly)

Buddy: YAY!  WE WORK GUD ON URE ROAD SIR! FINISH VARY SUN! DANK OOO FOR SUPPOOT!

Guy: OK!  YOU... HAVE... GOOD. .. DAY. ... TOO!

At that my buddy continued as he normally would.

The guy came out later and flagged him down again.   Climbs up to the window and hands him a Coke! In his next complaint to the city he bitches the whole project out, but then says to my buddy's supervisor,  "All except that deaf guy that drives one of the big Orange dump trucks..  He's a real hard worker.  A nice guy.  I'm not complaining about him. "

Supervisor: Who?

Guy: That big guy with the shaved head.  "[Recalls my buddy by his name]"

Supervisor: Sonava! (Later has a spirited discussion on the radio with my buddy)
Link Posted: 4/26/2014 9:25:29 PM EDT
If people come to YOUR door for something, they have no right to complain about anything.

Link Posted: 4/26/2014 9:28:29 PM EDT
Sounds like you need this guy on speed dial:

Link Posted: 4/26/2014 9:29:39 PM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By GrandfatherCoyote:
Sounds like you need this guy on speed dial:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/12/11/article-2521843-1A063E2C00000578-16_634x529.jpg
View Quote


LOL!
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 3:37:55 AM EDT

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Skillshot:






I literally dropped my beer because of my post. It's spilled all over the carpet. So you owe me half of a Modelo.  
View Quote
Very good beer, dark or regular ? And pretty funny story.

 
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 3:46:32 AM EDT
This means "No, I'm not interested.  Thanks."  For future reference.

Link Posted: 4/27/2014 3:51:47 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Mister-Z:
Visualize............... two deaf guys yelling at each other on the front lawn.

View Quote

Wonder how that sounds?
Saint Peter isn't letting me anywhere near that gate
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 3:53:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/27/2014 3:54:40 AM EDT by LCPL4ever]



Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
Probably. I mean, he sounded like Chewbaca.  But I thought it was just the ear plugs.
I suppose anyone can fake being hearing impaired.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
Probably. I mean, he sounded like Chewbaca.  But I thought it was just the ear plugs.
I suppose anyone can fake being hearing impaired.










 
       


Originally Posted By NY_Shooter:




This means "No, I'm not interested.  Thanks."  For future reference.
http://img.4plebs.org/boards/pol/image/1396/92/1396924692857.gif







jfc I'm in tears with that gif, the fucking tongue





 

 
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 4:06:35 AM EDT
Don't ever give those deaf peddlers money. Most of those deaf panhandlers can work, they just make more money begging so they do that.  Some others are being exploited by human trafficking rings.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 4:29:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/27/2014 4:30:04 AM EDT by 4v50]
He's not a solicitor. He's a beggar.

ETA:  His action of snatching the flyer from your hand is a civil suit of battery.  I'd be pissed.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 4:36:11 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By NWhiker:


At 5 days week, that's $26,000/year.
He's living the dream.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By NWhiker:
Originally Posted By Baronvonhussong:
I was sanding a car in the driveway with a compressor running. I would stop and slap the sandpaper in my hand in a clapping motion to release the dry paint from the paper.
I looked up to see the trash guy saying something to me and  looking very pissed. I couldn't hear him over the compressor and he kept on repeating himself so I walked out to see what he was going on about.

When I got close enough to hear him he was yelling "clap all you want I make a hundred dollars a day"


At 5 days week, that's $26,000/year.
He's living the dream.


At least it's honest work.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 4:38:18 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By mustb123:
Glad I've never done something so stupid!

Like the time I asked one of my employees when she was going to have her baby.....she says "He's in the car, I had him last month".

or when I asked a New Commit in the prison what he was smuggling in that fold of skin on his neck.....he says "It's a cancerous tumor, I have maybe 6 months to live".

Yup, I am a real smooth operator.....lots more........
View Quote


I had a guy come to my office and tell me he had suffered a seizure, so I asked him: "What's shakin dude?"
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 4:40:44 AM EDT
This thread rocks.

I have a driveway so steep the mailman drives up it to deliver shit and not even the Mormons come to my door.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 5:47:32 AM EDT
That dude probably wasn't even deaf
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 5:56:18 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By MDS31:
That dude probably wasn't even deaf
View Quote

My wife had someone come up to her at the State Fair claiming to be deaf. His schtick fell apart when she started using sign language.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 8:43:42 AM EDT

i once jokingly asked a kid in my class what he was getting me for Christmas - when he said "nothing" and walked away my wife reminded me he is a Jehovah's Witness and they do not celebrate holidays.

At our garage sale we sold a bed frame and dresser to some Amish in a buggy - I tried to throw in the matching mirror and they wouldn't take it, even for free. When they drove off my wife reminded me they didn't use mirrors as it was against their religion.

She needs to start telling me these things before I speak.
Link Posted: 4/27/2014 8:46:23 AM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
I was mowing the lawn earlier today.  I was using foam shooting ear plugs shoved into my ear canals deep, and safety glasses.

I noticed a guy walking towards my house.  He was eying me, then the front door, then me, then the front door.

I stop and take a couple of steps towards him.  I point towards my ear and say "I can't hear you".

I wasn't about to take the ear plugs out to talk to a solicitor.  I was hoping he would just go away.

He points towards his ear and mouths something, but I literally can't hear shit with the ear plugs in, and the mower a couple feet from me.

I take a few steps closer, turn my head, and point towards the ear plug.  I turn to face him, and say louder "I can't hear you".

He points to his ear and mouths something again.  Now I'm getting pissed.

I see he is holding a stack of note card size papers.  He hands me one.  It was a combination of hand written and type.  I hold it far enough away so I could read it, but it was gibberish.

He literally yanks it from my hand, turns it over and puts it back in my hand.  I was holding it upside down.  Oops.  
If it wasn't a bad copy of a copy, and didn't have hand written shit on it, I probably could have figured it out faster.

It started out "Hi, my name is Steve and I'm deaf".

I'm pretty sure I turned red from embarrassment, but I couldn't help but chuckle because I had just made a scene about not being able to hear.  

The guy grabbed it from my hand and left.  Pissed.

I saw the word "donate".  I'm not sure what else was on it.

I'm going to hell.
View Quote

I want some foam shooting ear plugs, I think it would be a big hit on the range, shooting foam all over the place.
Link Posted: 4/28/2014 9:30:33 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Recusance:

I want some foam shooting ear plugs, I think it would be a big hit on the range, shooting foam all over the place.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Recusance:
Originally Posted By The_Reaper:
I was mowing the lawn earlier today.  I was using foam shooting ear plugs shoved into my ear canals deep, and safety glasses.

I noticed a guy walking towards my house.  He was eying me, then the front door, then me, then the front door.

I stop and take a couple of steps towards him.  I point towards my ear and say "I can't hear you".

I wasn't about to take the ear plugs out to talk to a solicitor.  I was hoping he would just go away.

He points towards his ear and mouths something, but I literally can't hear shit with the ear plugs in, and the mower a couple feet from me.

I take a few steps closer, turn my head, and point towards the ear plug.  I turn to face him, and say louder "I can't hear you".

He points to his ear and mouths something again.  Now I'm getting pissed.

I see he is holding a stack of note card size papers.  He hands me one.  It was a combination of hand written and type.  I hold it far enough away so I could read it, but it was gibberish.

He literally yanks it from my hand, turns it over and puts it back in my hand.  I was holding it upside down.  Oops.  
If it wasn't a bad copy of a copy, and didn't have hand written shit on it, I probably could have figured it out faster.

It started out "Hi, my name is Steve and I'm deaf".

I'm pretty sure I turned red from embarrassment, but I couldn't help but chuckle because I had just made a scene about not being able to hear.  

The guy grabbed it from my hand and left.  Pissed.

I saw the word "donate".  I'm not sure what else was on it.

I'm going to hell.

I want some foam shooting ear plugs, I think it would be a big hit on the range, shooting foam all over the place.


You know what I meant.  
Link Posted: 4/28/2014 9:43:07 AM EDT
I see deaf guys twice a year with those same cards in Wendys and other fast food places.  

Link Posted: 4/28/2014 9:46:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/28/2014 9:46:53 AM EDT by Covert8645]
>"Hi, my name is Steve and I'm deaf".





my sides





in orbit



 
Link Posted: 4/28/2014 9:55:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/28/2014 9:58:09 AM EDT by pale_pony]
The "deaf card" is an old gypsy traveler trick around here.

The first time I saw it was back in college. I managed a restaurant and one of these sleezebags made it onto my dining room. My head waitress had him by the sleeve and kicked out the door before I even knew he was there. He had left several of the cards on customer's tables and then was coming back around to collect "donations" and get the hell out of there before anyone knew he was there.

My waitress called the cops and they brought him around to the back door of the kitchen to talk to me. He was already in handcuffs...


...funny, he wasn't nearly as polite as he was in my restaurant. And from the way he was cussing my waitress I'd have to guess that he experienced a "miracle" and could suddenly hear again.


Originally Posted By somedude:
was somewhere eating and a guy came in and handed out cards to everyone, then started to get upset when nobody handed him money. Finally somebody read the whole thing and figured out he was asking for donations. I think everyone handed them back, maybe 1 person gave him money.
View Quote

Link Posted: 4/28/2014 10:23:17 AM EDT
Spoiler - he was deaf the whole time  
Link Posted: 4/28/2014 10:25:46 AM EDT



I would have thrown the card down and mowed it over into 50 little shreads.
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