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Posted: 10/19/2004 9:57:42 AM EST
Sorry, the name-calling and poo-flinging in GD is so ridiculous right now that it's hard for me to believe some of these guys are married with children.

Amusing stories, anyone?
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:01:09 AM EST
This one time I flung a bunch of poo at this guy...
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:02:50 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/19/2004 10:03:02 AM EST by u-baddog]
You will never escape the POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With the ACTIVE TOPIC button
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:03:42 AM EST
LOL the poo is thick and the natives are restless?
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:04:33 AM EST
I am the Poo Czar...
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:11:44 AM EST
No great stories.. but I have had a somewhat happier day.. (see the team forum for what I am referring).

But see then wedge and brisk go posting them high ass pics looking down and then I have panic attacks again! ARRGGGHHH! No worries guys.

When the shit gets to deep in GD.. I go to my quieter place. Off this board!
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:12:49 AM EST
I am a man. I am a Father. I have never slung poo and I never NEVER GO IN TO GD!

Why in the hell did you go in there? General Discussion and God Damnit have the same initials for a reason.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:13:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
This one time I flung a bunch of poo at this guy...



I see you dont know the rules concerning the Womens forum...

I predict a poo IM in your future.....

Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:21:32 AM EST
Can i hang out here for a while and look around? Do ya mine, is it ok? I might have to get the Ms. in here.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:22:19 AM EST
This one time, at band camp......
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:22:49 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:25:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:
Never ever do a google images search for "poo".

That is all.



Thanks. I needed that laugh.

Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:26:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
Can i hang out here for a while and look around? Do ya mine, is it ok? I might have to get the Ms. in here.



Dude, you don't even have to ask, as long as you tread lightly. Most guys here are successful in that.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:30:42 AM EST

Originally Posted By MrsGloftoe:
Never ever do a google images search for "poo".

That is all.



Damn.....why'd ya have to say that?! I probably never would have done a search on poo if you hadn't said something. EWWWWW!
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:31:30 AM EST
although, this one is good:

Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:37:04 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Originally Posted By Fat_McNasty:
Can i hang out here for a while and look around? Do ya mine, is it ok? I might have to get the Ms. in here.



Dude, you don't even have to ask, as long as you tread lightly. Most guys here are successful in that.



I view it as going into the ladys locker room. Ask and keep the comments to my self.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:39:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:48:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



I don't know about the gifted or the dashing...
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 10:54:03 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



Auhg. I don't do well with long stories, although it was well-written. I need Cliff's notes. My undiagnosed ADD kicked in after the second paragraph.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:00:55 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



Auhg. I don't do well with long stories, although it was well-written. I need Cliff's notes. My undiagnosed ADD kicked in after the second paragraph.



I drove to Starbucks in my POS pickup and got looked at snottily by some soccer moms outside.

Then I thinked I may have blacked out from the overwhelming leftist aura inside.

Then I left and listened to Lynrd Skynrd.

Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:07:11 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:
I drove to Starbucks in my POS pickup and got looked at snottily by some soccer moms outside.

Then I thinked I may have blacked out from the overwhelming leftist aura inside.

Then I left and listened to Lynrd Skynrd.



HAHAHAHAHA...Nice.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:09:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Originally Posted By BayEagle:
I drove to Starbucks in my POS pickup and got looked at snottily by some soccer moms outside.

Then I thinked I may have blacked out from the overwhelming leftist aura inside.

Then I left and listened to Lynrd Skynrd.



HAHAHAHAHA...Nice.



But you left out the part about the AT-AT.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:10:11 AM EST
Here is an Escape.


Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:21:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By Ky_Bob:
Here is an Escape.


images.google.com/images?q=tbn:lZdohdeYXE8J:vnexpress.net/Vietnam/Oto-Xe-may/2003/04/3B9C6B35/Ford_Escape_04.jpg



It was only a matter of time...
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:28:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome and well endowed author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



yeah, you forgot about the well endowed part.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:42:39 AM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome and well endowed author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



yeah, you forgot about the well endowed part.



Well it goes without saying. He is Catholic after all.



As a side note, I am Catholic.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 11:51:20 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:

Originally Posted By Persephone:

Originally Posted By BayEagle:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Amusing stories, anyone?



There is an incredibly amusing story by a dashing, gifted, and may I say, devilishly handsome and well endowed author here:

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=283271



yeah, you forgot about the well endowed part.



Well it goes without saying. He is Catholic after all.



As a side note, I am Catholic.



But is is ok if you not Catholic, But have satchel of tools and know how to use them.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 12:29:09 PM EST
I find myself lurking/posting here more often than in the past, simply because of some of the crap posted in GD. Sanity is a regular feature here more often.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 3:39:43 PM EST

Am I the only one reminded of Dennis Leary? "A menu...coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup, that's all it needs!"








feel better now, bay eagle?? i do


how 'bout you gabby?
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 4:12:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Sorry, the name-calling and poo-flinging in GD is so ridiculous right now that it's hard for me to believe some of these guys are married with children.



You mean some arfcommers actually have kids? God save us all
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 4:21:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mmanwitgun:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Sorry, the name-calling and poo-flinging in GD is so ridiculous right now that it's hard for me to believe some of these guys are married with children.



You mean some arfcommers actually have kids? God save us all





Yes, some of us have kids....... and others we're waiting to see if they can win a Darwin Award.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 6:24:31 PM EST
You sure talk purdy Bay. How much would it cost me to buy some of them there purdy words?

That truck dosen't even have RUST! Cool sticks though. Funny post but, you sound just like them.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 7:35:22 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/21/2004 4:33:48 PM EST by Winston_Wolf]
... My escape?

... I'm three torturous weeks away from my new puppy "Maggie" homecoming to her new abode here.

... I haven't been "in love" in awhile now, I'm as excited as a schoolgirl at her first boy-band concert.

... It feels great! Pix to follow soon

ETA:

This one isn't mine, but Maggie looks just like her

Link Posted: 10/19/2004 9:26:22 PM EST
The other day I was leaving Wally World when the elderly lady at the door made a comment that caught me a bit off guard. She said "guns make me so nervous." I suppose the quizical look on my face prompted her to state that the police officer that just left was wearing a gun and it made her nervous. I looked through the glass doors and saw a county jailer walking to her car. I told the lady that she was a jailer and wasn't wearing a gun. The lady sighed with releif and said "oh good, that makes me feel better." Not wanting such an opportunity to pass by, I said, " but I am wearing a gun." She looked as if she had just been slapped and she walked away not taking her eyes off of me. I turned to walk away and could not help but have a wicked little grin come across my face.
Link Posted: 10/19/2004 9:59:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Sorry, the name-calling and poo-flinging in GD is so ridiculous right now that it's hard for me to believe some of these guys are married with children.

Amusing stories, anyone?



I remember one night , my daughter who was around two at the time ,
was making a racket in her room .... Not crying , but the noises they make when
they are excited .

Anyway , the Wife elbows me and says ... Go see what she's doing .
When I turned on the light I saw that she had taken her LOADED diaper off and
had smeared Poo all over herself and was flinging the rest around the room .

So I turned the light off and went back to bed and laid down and the Wife asked what was up ??

I replied ....... She wants you

Link Posted: 10/20/2004 3:34:52 AM EST

Originally Posted By Maddogkiller:
The other day I was leaving Wally World when the elderly lady at the door made a comment that caught me a bit off guard. She said "guns make me so nervous." I suppose the quizical look on my face prompted her to state that the police officer that just left was wearing a gun and it made her nervous. I looked through the glass doors and saw a county jailer walking to her car. I told the lady that she was a jailer and wasn't wearing a gun. The lady sighed with releif and said "oh good, that makes me feel better." Not wanting such an opportunity to pass by, I said, " but I am wearing a gun." She looked as if she had just been slapped and she walked away not taking her eyes off of me. I turned to walk away and could not help but have a wicked little grin come across my face.



Hmmm...for some strange reason this story isn't very funny to me...being snide to old ladies just isn't my thing. Now, the baby flinging poo...that's hilarious!
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 6:03:34 AM EST
This one time, at gunstock.......
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:30:57 AM EST

Originally Posted By chrome1:
I remember one night , my daughter who was around two at the time ,
was making a racket in her room .... Not crying , but the noises they make when
they are excited .

Anyway , the Wife elbows me and says ... Go see what she's doing .
When I turned on the light I saw that she had taken her LOADED diaper off and
had smeared Poo all over herself and was flinging the rest around the room .

So I turned the light off and went back to bed and laid down and the Wife asked what was up ??

I replied ....... She wants you




HAHAHAHAHA!.....You punk.

Clever little bugger.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:32:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By Maddogkiller:
The other day I was leaving Wally World when the elderly lady at the door made a comment that caught me a bit off guard. She said "guns make me so nervous." I suppose the quizical look on my face prompted her to state that the police officer that just left was wearing a gun and it made her nervous. I looked through the glass doors and saw a county jailer walking to her car. I told the lady that she was a jailer and wasn't wearing a gun. The lady sighed with releif and said "oh good, that makes me feel better." Not wanting such an opportunity to pass by, I said, " but I am wearing a gun." She looked as if she had just been slapped and she walked away not taking her eyes off of me. I turned to walk away and could not help but have a wicked little grin come across my face.



That's great.

I'm not the biggest fan of elderly people as most of the ones I've encountered out here are worse than the psycho soccer moms.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:35:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Dude, you don't even have to ask, as long as you tread lightly. Most guys here are successful in that.




Then again there's guy's like me.........
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 7:39:15 AM EST

Originally Posted By bvmjethead:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Dude, you don't even have to ask, as long as you tread lightly. Most guys here are successful in that.




Then again there's guy's like me.........



I haven't seen you start a pissing contest in the women's forum. I'm not worried.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 8:26:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By MarianLibrarian:

Hmmm...for some strange reason this story isn't very funny to me...being snide to old ladies just isn't my thing. Now, the baby flinging poo...that's hilarious!





ML:
I wasn't snide with the elderly lady. I was not derogatory, nor was I deceptive. I did use her silliness as an opportunity to entertain myself a little. But, I was not disrespectful to her in my words, tone, nor manner.


BTW, I agree with you. Chrome1 posted a very funny story.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 9:10:38 AM EST
short story time.

5 months ago in hawaii i almost went cliff diving, except there was more rocks than water below.

well it would of been a nice view going down.


the end.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 9:20:02 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/20/2004 9:31:51 AM EST by Mudruck]

Originally Posted By chrome1:

I remember one night , my daughter who was around two at the time ,
was making a racket in her room .... Not crying , but the noises they make when
they are excited .

Anyway , the Wife elbows me and says ... Go see what she's doing .
When I turned on the light I saw that she had taken her LOADED diaper off and
had smeared Poo all over herself and was flinging the rest around the room .

So I turned the light off and went back to bed and laid down and the Wife asked what was up ??

I replied ....... She wants you




Man, doing that in the middle of the night would have got me more then another elbow. More like a 'HHHHIIIIIIIIIIII-YA! *punch/kick to the groin*'

Thinking on it... doing that ANYTIME would likely get the same results


Here is my latest problem with my youngest boy (just turned 2)...

About two months ago the toilet backs up and no amount of plunging and snaking would get it free. There was something stuck in there good. (Not that ya sickos!) I ended up replacing the whole fixutre and after a little work with a hammer I find what has stopped it up. One of those little plastic Nemo figures that you get in a happy meal. Seems the two year old wanted to set his Nemo free too.

Fast forward to the present time....

Im watching TV and the youngest comes running into the room saying something in toddlerspeak that I cant quite grasp. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me towards the bathroom, the whole saying something like 'dd! orse! dd! orse!'. We get to the bathroom and the entire thing is flodded, water everywhere. He walks up to the toilet, points and says 'DD! ORSE! GONE!!!'

A quick inventory of his little plastic farm animals show that the HORSE has come up missing, but I have a really good idea where it is.

Anyone know how to fish a horse out of a toilet?
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:06:59 PM EST

Originally Posted By Maddogkiller:
The other day I was leaving Wally World when the elderly lady at the door made a comment that caught me a bit off guard. She said "guns make me so nervous." I suppose the quizical look on my face prompted her to state that the police officer that just left was wearing a gun and it made her nervous. I looked through the glass doors and saw a county jailer walking to her car. I told the lady that she was a jailer and wasn't wearing a gun. The lady sighed with releif and said "oh good, that makes me feel better." Not wanting such an opportunity to pass by, I said, " but I am wearing a gun." She looked as if she had just been slapped and she walked away not taking her eyes off of me. I turned to walk away and could not help but have a wicked little grin come across my face.



THAT was hilarious! Thanks for improving my day.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 1:12:28 PM EST

Originally Posted By Mudruck:


Man, doing that in the middle of the night would have got me more then another elbow. More like a 'HHHHIIIIIIIIIIII-YA! *punch/kick to the groin*'

Thinking on it... doing that ANYTIME would likely get the same results


Here is my latest problem with my youngest boy (just turned 2)...

About two months ago the toilet backs up and no amount of plunging and snaking would get it free. There was something stuck in there good. (Not that ya sickos!) I ended up replacing the whole fixutre and after a little work with a hammer I find what has stopped it up. One of those little plastic Nemo figures that you get in a happy meal. Seems the two year old wanted to set his Nemo free too.

Fast forward to the present time....

Im watching TV and the youngest comes running into the room saying something in toddlerspeak that I cant quite grasp. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me towards the bathroom, the whole saying something like 'dd! orse! dd! orse!'. We get to the bathroom and the entire thing is flodded, water everywhere. He walks up to the toilet, points and says 'DD! ORSE! GONE!!!'

A quick inventory of his little plastic farm animals show that the HORSE has come up missing, but I have a really good idea where it is.

Anyone know how to fish a horse out of a toilet?



I think it's time to teach your kid that toys don't go down the toilet. Your plumbing bills will go through the roof.
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 5:32:03 PM EST

Originally Posted By Maddogkiller:

Originally Posted By MarianLibrarian:

Hmmm...for some strange reason this story isn't very funny to me...being snide to old ladies just isn't my thing. Now, the baby flinging poo...that's hilarious!





ML:
I wasn't snide with the elderly lady. I was not derogatory, nor was I deceptive. I did use her silliness as an opportunity to entertain myself a little. But, I was not disrespectful to her in my words, tone, nor manner.


BTW, I agree with you. Chrome1 posted a very funny story.



That's okay...I'll admit that I am touchy when it comes to old people. I can easily imagine my grandmother in that whole conversation and me having to explain why you would tell her you have a gun after all that. I love her to death, but she just doesn't "get it" sometimes so it bugs me when people do stuff that I later have to explain. Blame Granny...it works for me!
Link Posted: 10/20/2004 8:00:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By Garand1911:
well it would of been a nice view going down.



LOL I like people that can look on the bright side.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 4:35:36 AM EST
I once had a bird crap on me when I was writing a ticket to a hot girl.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 7:55:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By jadams951:
I once had a bird crap on me when I was writing a ticket to a hot girl.



I'm sorry, that was really unfortunate. But it did give me a good laugh, thanks.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 8:11:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:

Originally Posted By jadams951:
I once had a bird crap on me when I was writing a ticket to a hot girl.



I'm sorry, that was really unfortunate. But it did give me a good laugh, thanks.



Glad I could help!
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