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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/11/2005 1:55:23 PM EDT
I was clearing my culvert of all the sunflowers and I came upon a black plastic bag wrapped around a software sized cardboard box. I tossed it aside and came back to it later. I opened it up and found it was an x-rated porn videocassete....

I'm pretty sure someone will ask, but it's already been backed over twice by the mercedes. It's history. Err, trash.

ben
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:56:16 PM EDT
sounds like santa came early, come back in with a review and name of the tape if you dont mind.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:56:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 1:57:00 PM EDT by leelaw]
Put it back where you found it and wait for someone to go retrieve it. Since it's probably going to be a younger person, you can give them one of the most embarassing moments of their young life while you lecture them about the dirty, dirty porn they hid on your property.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:57:55 PM EDT
Got an old tape? Put the porn video in the new box and call the wife.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:58:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Put it back where you found it and wait for someone to go retrieve it. Since it's probably going to be a younger person, you can give them one of the most embarassing moments of their young life while you lecture them about the dirty, dirty porn they hid on your property.



Too late, I already backed over it in a 5500lb mercedes benz. It's shattered into quite a few peices.

ben
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:58:37 PM EDT
When I was a lad in Jr High I found a cache of Playboys hidden in an abandoned work shed near my house. It was WAY before the Internet and I had never seen such extreme examples of bulbous flesh. I visited the site often until someone else found it and took it away.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 1:59:57 PM EDT
What kind of car did you run it over with?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:01:30 PM EDT
Ask God to use bubble wrap next time.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:01:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By distributor_of_pain:
What kind of car did you run it over with?




Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:02:54 PM EDT
ahh that sucks but than again they should have done a better job of hiding there cache.

Could it possibly have been for a SHTF situation?

Do you know how hard it can be to obtain a real porno as a kid?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:02:54 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Put it back where you found it and wait for someone to go retrieve it. Since it's probably going to be a younger person, you can give them one of the most embarassing moments of their young life while you lecture them about the dirty, dirty porn they hid on your property.



Too late, I already backed over it in a 5500lb mercedes benz. It's shattered into quite a few peices.

ben



So? They don't know that yet, and will still come back.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:04:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Put it back where you found it and wait for someone to go retrieve it. Since it's probably going to be a younger person, you can give them one of the most embarassing moments of their young life while you lecture them about the dirty, dirty porn they hid on your property.



Too late, I already backed over it in a 5500lb mercedes benz. It's shattered into quite a few peices.

ben



So? They don't know that yet, and will still come back.



Replace the tape with a Disney one, label removed, of course.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:04:55 PM EDT
Are you single?

Maybe the other party in a recent liaison thinks you have room for improvement.

Actually...that might apply even if you have something regular if she thought this would be a delicate, anonymous way to pass some tips on.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:06:34 PM EDT
If the tape is still in good condition, you can always take a old tape apart and put the "new" tape in the old shell.

It will work just fine.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:09:43 PM EDT
Hank Hill had this problem
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:10:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By fadedsun:
I was clearing my culvert of all the sunflowers and I came upon a black plastic bag wrapped around a software sized cardboard box. I tossed it aside and came back to it later. I opened it up and found it was an x-rated porn videocassete....

I'm pretty sure someone will ask, but it's already been backed over twice by the mercedes. It's history. Err, trash.

ben


I would have called the bomb squad, could have been a IED
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:12:26 PM EDT
maybe they upgraded to a DVD ?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:12:35 PM EDT
I was mowing my yard one Sunday and found a giant freaking rubber dildo laying in my front yard. WTF ??? Makes you wonder what went on Saturday night while you were asleep????
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:13:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TexasEd:
I was mowing my yard one Sunday and found a giant freaking rubber dildo laying in my front yard. WTF ??? Makes you wonder what went on Saturday night while you were asleep????



Someone’s way of telling you to 'go fuck yourself'?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:46:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/11/2005 2:47:17 PM EDT by AZMAN-1]

Originally Posted By gaspasser:
When I was a lad in Jr High I found a cache of Playboys hidden in an abandoned work shed near my house. It was WAY before the Internet and I had never seen such extreme examples of bulbous flesh. I visited the site often until someone else found it and took it away.



Long long ago as a boy one of our favorite things to do was to to the town dump and rummage through the junk looking for cool things to shoot with our .22s. I came upon a box that had a great pile of old 'Playboys' in it.

Having just turned to that 'age' I thought I had scored a major treasure!!!! (If I had only known) One of the 'older' issues had a picture of Marilyn Monroe as the center fold, I thought it was interesting as the name was familiar to me but I wasn't sure why. Anyhow I tossed it aside as there were many 'newer' issues with pictures that were much more revealing and made for much better 'spanking' material.

I now some times wonder what the very first issue of Playboy would be worth today???

Despite being found in the dump it was in pristene condition. (major treasure indeed!!!)....
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:52:44 PM EDT
My boss called me into the back of the store one time last year and pointed out the back door and said "what the heck is that?"

I looked outside and up on top of the concrete wall behind the store was some unidentifiable white blob. My boss nodded at me and said "you're taller than me, go see what it is."

I retrieved the item with some effort and discovered that it was a large ziploc freezer bag containing...

A woman's vibrator with all the accessories, attachments, and a power converter.

I swear I scrubbed my hands with soap and boiling water so hard that I bled.

I had my job description changed to included the phrase "may refuse to investigate any unknown object located in or near the workplace".

It's become a story nearly as infamous as my "I'm too fat to sit in the booth and it's YOUR fault" story.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:52:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Cableman:
If the tape is still in good condition, you can always take a old tape apart and put the "new" tape in the old shell.

It will work just fine.



There's no way on earth that it's going to work after what I subjected it to, even if you hand fed the tape into the VCR....

Ben
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 2:55:04 PM EDT
I've got pictures of the shattered tape if you guys want to see it

Ben
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:16:20 PM EDT
While working security in a downtown office building one time, we had a homeless guy freaking out in the lobby. We happened to have 2 DPD officers on site, so they escorted the guy out. He starts freaking out on them so they pull the old "for our safety" line and pat him down. The younger cop pulls a nasty shit stained dildo out of the guys pocket. The funny part was that quite a crowd of workers had gathered nearby to watch and the whole crowd saw it. Funny stuff.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:16:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By AZMAN-1:

Originally Posted By gaspasser:
When I was a lad in Jr High I found a cache of Playboys hidden in an abandoned work shed near my house. It was WAY before the Internet and I had never seen such extreme examples of bulbous flesh. I visited the site often until someone else found it and took it away.



Long long ago as a boy one of our favorite things to do was to to the town dump and rummage through the junk looking for cool things to shoot with our .22s. I came upon a box that had a great pile of old 'Playboys' in it.

Having just turned to that 'age' I thought I had scored a major treasure!!!! (If I had only known) One of the 'older' issues had a picture of Marilyn Monroe as the center fold, I thought it was interesting as the name was familiar to me but I wasn't sure why. Anyhow I tossed it aside as there were many 'newer' issues with pictures that were much more revealing and made for much better 'spanking' material.

I now some times wonder what the very first issue of Playboy would be worth today???

Despite being found in the dump it was in pristene condition. (major treasure indeed!!!)....




At least one thousand bucks!
cgi.ebay.com/Playboy-FIRST-ISSUE-December-1953-MARILYN-MONROE-NUDE_W0QQitemZ6971581402QQcategoryZ280QQssPageName­ZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:17:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By chadintex:
While working security in a downtown office building one time, we had a homeless guy freaking out in the lobby. We happened to have 2 DPD officers on site, so they escorted the guy out. He starts freaking out on them so they pull the old "for our safety" line and pat him down. The younger cop pulls a nasty shit stained dildo out of the guys pocket. The funny part was that quite a crowd of workers had gathered nearby to watch and the whole crowd saw it. Funny stuff.




Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:17:47 PM EDT
Got any youngsters livin with ya or near ya? When I was a kid that's exactly how I hid my spank material after the infamous "Brother snitches and mom finds stash under bed" incident. After that I would wrap it up in a plastic bag and hide it under a log in the woods.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:40:51 PM EDT
HOPE YOU HANDLED IT WITH RUBBER GLOVES!
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:44:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By OHGUNNER:
HOPE YOU HANDLED IT WITH RUBBER GLOVES!



Heavy duty cowhide leather work gloves.

bet the guys who pick up my trash are going to have a field day!

Ben
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 3:49:40 PM EDT
heard rumors of people renting Disney movies from Blockbuster and recording random porn scenes in the middle of the movie
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:27:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Ask God to use bubble wrap next time.






wait...................aw shit, thats where I left that?
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:38:06 PM EDT
Yeah... uh... I uh... Yeah I kind of need that back.
Link Posted: 8/11/2005 4:41:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TexasEd:
I was mowing my yard one Sunday and found a giant freaking rubber dildo laying in my front yard. WTF ??? Makes you wonder what went on Saturday night while you were asleep????



one time I was at a public range and somebody dumped a bunch of used dildos & vibrators all over the ground.
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