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1/22/2020 12:12:56 PM
Posted: 11/19/2012 3:54:34 PM EST

...because if it's bread on the counter, I just butter it up and eat it. I was hungry, so I didn't even put it in the toaster. So my question is, how long do I have left on earth?
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:55:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By effinNewGuy:

...because if it's bread on the counter, I just butter it up and eat it. I was hungry, so I didn't even put it in the toaster. So my question is, how long do I have left on earth?

87 minutes tops.

Dibs on cool guns, optics and ammo.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:56:08 PM EST
You did WHAT ???
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:56:10 PM EST
damn, beat.
Dibs on cars, motorcycles, boats, and maybe wife?
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:56:19 PM EST
dibs on everything else
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:58:11 PM EST

You are going to be having a baby soon.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 3:59:23 PM EST
They were half cooked so you should only half die!
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:00:52 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:01:02 PM EST
Wash down a packet of activated yeast with a pitcher of beer and stream video.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:01:11 PM EST

Originally Posted By casey1:
They were half cooked so you should only half die!


Mostly Dead

Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:15:34 PM EST
..yeah I thought they were kinda mushy.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:16:09 PM EST
You are gonna get worms.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:20:21 PM EST


I've consulted with top scientists and they're all pretty sure that you're going to die.

A lot. A lot of dying. Really gruesome dying.

Like the dough is going to start rising and rising until he starts to push out and up through your esophogus until it obstructs your airway.

You can try and do that Bic pen in your trachea thing, but you'll still be plugged up and gooey now.

You can try and stab yourself in the lung for the direct approach and then you're just going to have a deflated lung.

You're going to die and die gasping and bloody.

Either that or you'll just have a funny looking crap in the morning.

Either way, we expect pics.


Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:21:19 PM EST
Originally Posted By SurfAnimal:
damn, beat.
Dibs on cars, motorcycles, boats, and maybe wife?


who would marry a guy who eats brown n serve rolls raw???
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:22:47 PM EST
Originally Posted By PogueMahone:
Originally Posted By SurfAnimal:
damn, beat.
Dibs on cars, motorcycles, boats, and maybe wife?


who would marry a guy who eats brown n serve rolls raw???


Hence the "maybe wife........" .
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:23:30 PM EST
Better rub one out OP... It might be your last.



Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:23:42 PM EST
Well you ARE browning them in your own way.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:24:08 PM EST
What I really want to know is if creating this thread was on your mind before you even thought of eating them.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:25:35 PM EST
Originally Posted By Mazeman:
Well you ARE browning them in your own way.


why do all arf threads eventually end up as poop threads???
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:31:01 PM EST
Originally Posted By SurfAnimal:
Originally Posted By PogueMahone:
Originally Posted By SurfAnimal:
damn, beat.
Dibs on cars, motorcycles, boats, and maybe wife?


who would marry a guy who eats brown n serve rolls raw???


Hence the "maybe wife........" .


Good thinking, definetly keep it an option....
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:33:04 PM EST
Yeah. I'm smart, me....
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:34:10 PM EST
I eat raw bacon, its got a nice texture to it
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:34:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By PogueMahone:
Originally Posted By Mazeman:
Well you ARE browning them in your own way.


why do all arf threads eventually end up as poop threads???

Everything ends up as poop.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:42:22 PM EST
Go get the heating pad and finish baking them
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:43:13 PM EST
Ate them accidentally as I thought they were regular rolls. They were on the counter like the rest of the bread variety (burger buns, hot dog buns, sliced bread...). I just felt some grumbling in my stomach. Funny sounds. The end is near I imagine....
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:43:23 PM EST
Did you also eat raw bacon by any chance? They will cancel each other out.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:44:45 PM EST
Trolling with raw dough roll is how you roll, Troll.

Raw deal. I'll just keep on rolling on.

Troll on, Roll boy.







Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:45:51 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/19/2012 4:46:39 PM EST by Kharn]
I know someone who did something similar (but with a Pillsbury dough can thing). She ended up in the ER with an impacted poop two days later, they had to "stir" it up digitally and give her some super laxatives to get it to come out.
Dibs on guns, gold, precious stones, womenz, porn stash and automobiles.

Kharn
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:47:44 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:52:33 PM EST
you will be fine but you might shit funny tomorrow.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 4:57:11 PM EST
I'm going out on a limb here, but you probably wouldn't need any cheeseburgers to meet GD's standard of "healthy", would you?
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 5:00:06 PM EST
[Last Edit: 11/19/2012 5:02:35 PM EST by dreadful_hillbilly]
Originally Posted By effinNewGuy:
Ate them accidentally as I thought they were regular rolls. They were on the counter like the rest of the bread variety (burger buns, hot dog buns, sliced bread...). I just felt some grumbling in my stomach. Funny sounds. The end is near I imagine....


What, I don't even.....

How do you eat a whole tray of raw dinner rolls without realizing they are raw? Does the wife usually cook that bad?
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 5:02:01 PM EST
Originally Posted By Aimless:

Originally Posted By TrijiCog:
What I really want to know is if creating this thread was on your mind before you even thought of eating them.

Huh


I think he means the author ate the rolls on purpose with the intent of creating a thread about the pending gastrointestinal adventure.
Link Posted: 11/19/2012 5:05:32 PM EST
Those aren't raw. just not browned. BTDT.
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