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Posted: 5/23/2005 10:46:53 PM EDT
If you have a cat, I bet my ass it's better than this one right here. I have on my hands one solid chunk of a piece of shit cat.

1. This cat will not sit on your lap. This is the one thing cats are good for, and this one fucking sucks at it. He will not sit on your lap for more than two seconds before he twists up and bolts for the kitchen. There's nothing to eat in the kitchen, my girl can't cook, so don't give me that BS, he just wants off.

2. This cat will not accept treats. You got something for him? Go fry it up in a pan and he might think about it. Other than that, it has to be reviewed by the Board of Directors before he'll give it a sniff.

3. This cat will not submit to being petted, and will not play with you. You're better off playing with your Legos, cause this lame BS cat will barely acknowledge that a human has entered the house. He will cede his territory to you temporarily in exchange for his liberty and safety, when really he deserves none, but whatever.

4. This cat demands to be underfoot at all times. This is annoying, and I will not explain it. You understand or you don't.

The end.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:48:16 PM EDT
That cat sucks.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:48:52 PM EDT
MMMMMM...... cheinese food
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:49:30 PM EDT
Sounds like a cat.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:51:41 PM EDT
sounds like an outside pet that you can feed.....whenever you feel like it.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:51:56 PM EDT

Mine only runs underfoot when I am at the top of the stairs. He is definitely trying to kill me.

He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.

You cat sounds fine - I don't like the needy cats who want to sit in your lap all the time. I like the independent ones who don't suck up. If I wanted a pet that sucked up to me, I'd have a dog
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:52:08 PM EDT
your house is too warm. keep the heat at around 60F and the cat will seek you out for warmth, then he'll sit on your lap.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:54:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By gaspain:
your house is too warm. keep the heat at around 60F and the cat will seek you out for warmth, then he'll sit on your lap.



Alternatively, put him in the refrigerator for 20 minutes.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:55:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.



Really? How much do you weigh?
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:55:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tomislav:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.



Really? How much do you weigh?



Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:57:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tomislav:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.



Really? How much do you weigh?






yeah - but eating me in still a short-term solution at best.

But I KNOW he would, the little ungrateful bastard!
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:57:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Mine only runs underfoot when I am at the top of the stairs. He is definitely trying to kill me.

He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.





Cats are notorious for eating their owners when the owner kicks the bucket.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:57:32 PM EDT
GF took "our" cat (with my blessing) when she moved out.

I now have the next door neighbors cat come by and visit every couple of days. The neighbors cat (Cleo) is FAR more "agreeable" than my other cat ever was. Big, *VERY* easy going, loves attention, loves to get petted/scratched/brushed. Doesn't demand anything but the end of the couch and some loving when she comes over for a visit.

After anywhere from 2 to 12 hours she'll decide that the outside world needs patrolling again and wants out. That's it until a few days later when she'll gently claw at the patio screen to be let in.

All of the benefits, none of the hassles.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 10:58:04 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:09:43 PM EDT
Next time he gets under your feet, give him a swift kick. A couple of field goal shots, and he'll never get under your feet again.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:13:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/23/2005 11:13:53 PM EDT by windom]

Originally Posted By sprayandpray:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Mine only runs underfoot when I am at the top of the stairs. He is definitely trying to kill me.

He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.





Cats are notorious for eating their owners when the owner kicks the bucket.



Any large pet with 4 legs and a stomach is.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:16:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/23/2005 11:21:43 PM EDT by gaspain]
also...cats dont like to get petted because it feels good. They do it because they are marking you with their scent. Cats mark in 2 ways, by their face around their eyes, on their whiskers and under their chin or the worse way- by spraying urine. They do not enjoy a petting on the back unless they are cold and your hand is warming them by petting. You can also wash the cat, this removes some of the scent from their fur...this will make them go a little crazy and they will feel voulnerable because they dont have thier scent to ward off other male cats, so the cat will try harder to get his scent on his territory and on you- this is good if you end up petting him alot on the face but can be bad if you dont pet him becuase he will resort to marking his territory by spraying his urine all over your home. So if you wash the cat, once he is dry he will want to be petted.

As far as the food deal, cats dont like all foods. For example my old cat LOVED Wendys hamburger meat as a treat, yet he hated McDonalds and Jackin the box. He also liked KFC original chicken but not extra crispy...he wouldnt eat the skin but he liked the meat and chomped on leg bones. I dont recommend feeding large amounts of human food to a house cat, but a 1" cube of chicken a week should be fine.

Bangel Snow leopard (a mix of wild and house cat), he was my roomates cat..but he was a cool cat- I took him him as my own cuz my roomate was never home, he's 12yrs in this picture


Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:17:35 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/23/2005 11:18:36 PM EDT by Handsome_Rob]
I happen to miss the company of a cat. When raised appropriately, they can be very rewarding pets. All it takes to scold them is a spray bottle. Other than that, most cats I've ever seen warm up to me pretty quickly. I'm actually looking into getting one soon. I think the trick is to let them come to you.

Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:23:27 PM EDT

Maybe he's a republican and thinks YOU suck.

Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:25:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Peak_Oil:

You understand or you don't.

The end.



Sure I do ... The cat hates you
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:33:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Kooter:
Next time he gets under your feet, give him a swift kick. A couple of field goal shots, and he'll never get under your feet again.



Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:42:42 PM EDT
dogs rule!
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 11:50:37 PM EDT
cat's are weird. My youngest used to never make a noise and hated being around anyone. Now she stands outside my door making a horrible screching meow noise till I come home and open the door so she can pass out on my bed. Last year she was all anti social, but now she literally stays outside my door waiting for me so she can crawl into my bed. Its cute, yet weird.

Infact shes all curled up right now ready to pass out

Link Posted: 5/24/2005 12:56:48 AM EDT
Cats are either "trained" at an early age, or they are like YOUR cat. They are the PRIME example, IMO, of GIGO. (Garbage In, Garbage Out.) If when the cat is a kitten, or at least very young, you "dote" on it, and lavish it w/attention, sit it in your lap, play w/it, etc... you get the exact OPPOSITE of your cat. If however, you ignore it it won't be "oriented" to these things as it gets older - and NADA.

An example. I am pretty good w/cats. HOWEVER, my YOUNGEST cat I got 1 year after being Dxed (diagnosed) w/MS. That year was pretty bad, but could still work. But I was sleeping 12 hours/day.... figure 9 for "at work", 15 minutes to shower & brush teeth, etc.. (NO "commute" time, really, I was .2 miles away) doesn't leave much time for like food prep, etc... hence, I was on my BACK a lot.... so the cat would sit on my CHEST to get his daily "attention". TO THIS DAY, he will not "do" the lap. He's strictly a "chest cat", because the LAP is "foreign territory" to him. But he'll sit on my lap and PURR for DAYS (so to speak). My older cat (15) he's a lap cat ... because I wasn't sick then... and he was encouraged, when young to sit there.....in fact, he's there NOW. (purring like a bandit ;)


Originally Posted By Peak_Oil:
If you have a cat, I bet my ass it's better than this one right here. I have on my hands one solid chunk of a piece of shit cat.

1. This cat will not sit on your lap. This is the one thing cats are good for, and this one fucking sucks at it. He will not sit on your lap for more than two seconds before he twists up and bolts for the kitchen. There's nothing to eat in the kitchen, my girl can't cook, so don't give me that BS, he just wants off.

2. This cat will not accept treats. You got something for him? Go fry it up in a pan and he might think about it. Other than that, it has to be reviewed by the Board of Directors before he'll give it a sniff.

3. This cat will not submit to being petted, and will not play with you. You're better off playing with your Legos, cause this lame BS cat will barely acknowledge that a human has entered the house. He will cede his territory to you temporarily in exchange for his liberty and safety, when really he deserves none, but whatever.

4. This cat demands to be underfoot at all times. This is annoying, and I will not explain it. You understand or you don't.

The end.

Link Posted: 5/24/2005 12:57:42 AM EDT
Trade it in to the Humane Society for a dog.
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 7:01:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By sprayandpray:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Mine only runs underfoot when I am at the top of the stairs. He is definitely trying to kill me.

He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.





Cats are notorious for eating their owners when the owner kicks the bucket.



...and they don't always make sure your dead first. EEEWWWW
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 7:03:26 AM EDT
I think you need an unfortunate hunting accident...
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 7:39:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By mfingar:

Originally Posted By sprayandpray:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Mine only runs underfoot when I am at the top of the stairs. He is definitely trying to kill me.

He is too dumb to figure out that once he has succeeded in murdering me, nobody will be there to feed him.





Cats are notorious for eating their owners when the owner kicks the bucket.



...and they don't always make sure your dead first. EEEWWWW



[nelson]HAHA![/nelson]

"The cats, apparently without food for that time, also tried to eat Lowrie's small dog, said Jackie David, a spokeswoman for the city Animal Services Department. "
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 7:41:10 AM EDT
There's Nothing Better than a Good Cat...And Nothing Worse than a Bad One.

SG
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 8:12:55 AM EDT
The fastest way to get a cat to pester the hell out of you, is to ignore it completely.
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 8:23:09 AM EDT

one solid chunk of a piece of shit cat.


Link Posted: 5/24/2005 8:44:44 AM EDT
Cats have personalities. Some are just more sociable than others.
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 8:55:39 AM EDT
You probably have one of those grey stripped cats. Most people have them and they are not affectionate cats. If you want a cat that likes to be near you try an oriental. I have one and she always wants to sit on my lap or sit next to me. Breed makes all the difference.
Link Posted: 5/24/2005 9:11:30 AM EDT
my mom's cat is somewhat anti-social. he's also really old, like 18 now. We got him when he was a kitten. He'll sit on my mom's lap, but no one else's. When he was younger he was an outdoor cat, we lived next to a large wooded area. But now that he's old he only goes outside to do his buisness, and in the winter he uses a litter box. He's well trained, always meows by the door when he needs to go. He's kind of a meany though, runs away from strangers and will scratch you if you pester him. He also likes to bite bare toes when you are trying to feed him if you don't open the can fast enough. It's weird though, because my younger brother will be real rough with him, picking him up and spinning him around and such, and he seems to like it. He used to go super crazy over catnip but not anymore, I guess he's burnt out from all the drugs
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