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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 3/31/2006 9:14:11 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2006 9:19:54 AM EDT by VoodooChile]
I found out about 10 years ago that my Dad fathered a girl about a year before he married my Mom (40 years ago) I've been sort of curious about meeting her but all I have is the mother's possible name (she married several times apparently) the daughter's maiden name, and the fact that the mother worked at Hewlett Packard in California and some possible California cities that they may have lived in. To confuse the issue further all of the above info is 20 years old. It was sent to my Dad in a letter...he didn't know about his daughter before that.

Should I look for her? If so where do I start? (casual Googling turns up nothing)
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 9:26:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2006 9:26:24 AM EDT by 3rdStreet]
There are numerous sites just for this kinda thing. For a small fee you should let them do it for you. Afterall they do it everyday.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 9:30:06 AM EDT
Heck yeah, but if you find her and she doesn't want to invite you into her life, just let it go.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:57:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
Heck yeah, but if you find her and she doesn't want to invite you into her life, just let it go.



Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd handle it OK if she said no thanks...Unless of course she was a zillionaire
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:10:48 AM EDT
I think a basic search is about $7.

www.peoplesearch.com/

Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:20:27 AM EDT
Do it.

(She might be hot, you know in a West Virginia kinda way.)
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:22:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Jon_C_:
Do it.

(She might be hot, you know in a West Virginia kinda way.)



Yea, and he may have dated her and not even known it
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:27:43 AM EDT
About five years ago, I searched for -and found - my birthsisters. I have two, an older sister (Val) and a younger sister (Rachel). I was adopted out at birth, but both of them remained with my birthparents.

Searching for them was probably one of the smartest decisions I ever made. They are just as much my sisters today as the two adopted sisters I grew up with. We try to get together once every few months to "catch up on life" and just hang out.

If you're getting a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach to search for your half-sister, don't bother trying to ignore it. It won't work. If there's one thing I can tell you from personal experience and speaking with countless other adoptees over the past few years, it's simply this: Get started. The desire to search won't go away, and it won't lessen with time. Quite the opposite, it'll keep increasing until one day, it kicks into overdrive and you can't get the subject off your mind.

PeopleSearch is probably a waste of time and money, but I guess for $7 it can't hurt. I spent 11 months searching for my birthfamily, and I dedicated countless hours to searching through newspaper archives, public records, and adoption registration sites. Of course, it doesn't sound like any kind of legal "adoption" took place in your matter, so it might be a lot easier (or a lot harder) to find your half-sister.

Either way, be sure you give this decision a lot of thought. A successful search is going to bring a heck of a lot of drama with it, regardless of how your sister reacts to hearing from you. I thought I'd bust out the machismo and act like a "tough guy" until I `tested the waters' to find out what my sisters' responses would be like, but I just about went crazy planning out every detail of my first conversation as my search drew to a close. It's a big deal, and you might want to consider finding people who are currently `searching' or have searched in the past. They'll be a tremendous resource for you.

If you need some assistance with the search process (i.e. where to start) or have any questions, feel free to IM me.

-James
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:52:00 AM EDT
This is what my department uses. I found an Army buddy I hadn't talked to in 10 years on this in about thirty seconds.
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