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Posted: 9/18/2004 6:28:29 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2004 6:49:15 AM EST by reconBYfire]
My wife just made me buy 2 tickets to see Cher in concert.....

edit:spelling

edit: I failed to mention that The Village People are the opening act
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:29:50 AM EST
You have my deepest sympathies
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:31:33 AM EST
Where should we send the flowers?
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:32:39 AM EST
Thats not so bad. Now, who is she taking with her?
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:32:46 AM EST
What's wrong with Cher???
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:33:32 AM EST
sell the guns, put on the sun dress and remove your man parts missy
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:34:55 AM EST
They will sell beer there.......there is hope.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:37:37 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2004 6:38:17 AM EST by thinman]
Counter this power move immediately!!! Go buy a 50BMG!
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:41:05 AM EST

Originally Posted By IamtheNRA:
What's wrong with Cher???

Good question. What is wrong with this goofball?
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:44:38 AM EST
Day of the concert

1 can cream corned

1 serving of Fleet

1-2 Doses Syrup Of Ipecac

You will be Cher free
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:46:14 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:46:21 AM EST

Originally Posted By DzlBenz:

Originally Posted By IamtheNRA:
What's wrong with Cher???

Good question. What is wrong with this goofball?
www.orlandofloridaguide.com/jacksonville/concerts/Cher%201751a2.jpg



Too much $$$, not enough brains???

C'mon, plastic woman ain't THAT bad...
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 6:52:47 AM EST
but she has no ass
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 7:00:08 AM EST
When are you buying the mini-van?
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:23:34 AM EST

Originally Posted By Phil_in_Seattle:
Day of the concert

1 can cream corned

1 serving of Fleet

1-2 Doses Syrup Of Ipecac

You will be Cher free



Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:32:01 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:39:34 AM EST
Take some Dramamine before you leave!!
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:41:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By IamtheNRA:
What's wrong with Cher???



Nothing, if you're a woman or a gay man.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:43:59 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:44:41 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2004 8:45:14 AM EST by Palo_Duro]
Be sure to wear a studded collar, leather vest with no shirt, and chaps when you go.

Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:46:11 AM EST
You should go there, pretend to have a good time, get very drunk, strip for awhile and have your wife drag you out of there.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:46:15 AM EST
Man, you have GOT to wear an NRA T-shirt (or similar) to that concert.

That would be so much fun.

CMOS
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:49:51 AM EST
... Hey I like a womanz with a little junk in the trunk.

... As stolen from another thread -

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]



Originally Posted By DzlBenz:

Originally Posted By IamtheNRA:
What's wrong with Cher???

Good question. What is wrong with this goofball?

Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:50:58 AM EST
Y'all have no idea what he's in for. Picture thousands of repressed house-fraus set loose from their husbands and kids for an evening. They are in a sea of like minded women, several hundred gay men and this guy. He's in for a great time. A friend of mine took his wife to a Hall and Oats concert last year and he's still grinning over it.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 8:59:12 AM EST
If she makes you go to Cher, she has to go to a gunshow with you.

Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:03:05 AM EST
YMCA
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:06:50 AM EST

My wife just made me buy 2 tickets to see Cher in concert.....


Recon - I put that in the verbal pre-nup - no shit. I told wifey (who loves cher ) - that I was hearby exempt from attending any Cher concerts, for life.

The worst I have had to endure with the regards to Cher was an unavoidable HBO special, which i slept through and stiill got credit for.

I feel for you man... But you are going to score major points.


I failed to mention that The Village People are the opening act

Now I really feel for you. Be on the look out for dudes wearing assless chaps....



Y'all have no idea what he's in for. Picture thousands of repressed house-fraus set loose from their husbands and kids for an evening. They are in a sea of like minded women, several hundred gay men and this guy.


Did you mean several thousand gay men? Gay dudes worship Cher like god. The only straight men at that show will be Recon, and 5 other dudes that were forcibely taken by their wives
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:12:00 AM EST
Another thread was calling Reba old (49 not 72). Cher be 55....just close your eyes....
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:20:21 AM EST
She sounds like Mr. Ed.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:23:45 AM EST

Originally Posted By twonami:
sell the guns, put on the sun dress and remove your man parts missy



+1
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 9:42:45 AM EST


Time for a skit Sarge.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 10:01:39 AM EST
I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist.

Women over rule the Code Of Conduct

Link Posted: 9/18/2004 10:08:38 AM EST
Ditto on wearing the NRA or some pro-gun shirt along with a GWB hat.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 10:51:02 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2004 10:51:31 AM EST by tooly]
What a puss!!!

You may have just lost your BALLS......
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 10:52:34 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 10:54:15 AM EST

Originally Posted By mac130:
I will never surrender of my own free will. If in command, I will never surrender the members of my command while they still have the means to resist.

Women over rule the Code Of Conduct




... TOWMBO "The One Who Must Be Obeyed", wrote the code in his house.
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 4:12:49 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/18/2004 4:17:56 PM EST by JB69]



Link Posted: 9/18/2004 7:14:55 PM EST

Originally Posted By CS223:
Ditto on wearing the NRA or some pro-gun shirt along with a GWB hat.



And don't forget the Bush '04 Sign to wave above your head. Sounds like a great time..... NOT!!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 7:24:25 PM EST
One word: Mangina.

-REAPER2502
Link Posted: 9/18/2004 7:31:07 PM EST
HA...AFTER READING THE TITLE, I THOUGHT YOU MUST HAVE BEEN FRENCH!
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