Got drawn for a random test. Fuck I hate that shit.

I had to take one last week.

That does suck.  Even if you got nothing to worry about.  What you do in the privacy of your home is your business.

Start your own company.  I pee when I want, where I want

Quoted: Got drawn for a random test. Fuck I hate that shit.

So did you pass or not?


Sgtar15

For the FAA I have to pee for my Pilot medical, I have to pee for my mechanic on Part 135 aircraft work, then I got randomly selected for another mechanic pee test less than a month after my first. That is three tests in less than two months! One more before the end of the year and I am crying foul! I have never consumed alcohol or used drugs, I don't even take Nyquil or use much ibuprophen. This is nuts! Planerench out.

i've done the whiz quiz for a couple jobs.  no big deal..a bit of a PITA to have to go to the hospital, etc.

Quoted: It all depends how you are treated. Sometimes you are a medical patient. Sometimes you are a guilty until proven innocent dope fiend who is about to get caught by little miss lab girl.

Its all pretty clinical. Its a CYA thing more than a witch hunt plus all the staff are clean anyway. Its a waste of time and money. I just cant stand the thought of people looking into my behavior outside of work.
It's also retarded. I dont use drugs but I know I have a three month window starting today. Take two weeks off the end to clean up and I could if wanted to.

Quoted: Quoted: Got drawn for a random test. Fuck I hate that shit. So did you pass or not? Sgtar15

I better have. I studied enough.

I had to take a "random"  about a month ago.  I hate that shit too.  We don't pee anymore, we do the cheek swab.   That way the results are know in about 20 or 25 minutes.    I was really POed.  I thought about quiting.  Sometimes I wonder just how random those are.

For my current job, I had to make a 30 mile trip to piss in a cup. With the round trip drive and the wait it took 2 1/2 hours. What a pain in the ass.

While I was active duty, I was once given the duties as Urinalysis Coordinator.  Once a month, I had the wonderful responsibility of hauling around several boxes full of piss.  Whenever someone complained to me about having to pee in a bottle, I always offered to let them take over the job and run the show they way they wanted.

I never did have anyone take me up on it.  Go figure.

Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position. I would hate to get popped for ONE toke!   I wonder if those tests are that sensitive?

Nope. Nothing to worry about.

Quoted: Quoted: Got drawn for a random test. Fuck I hate that shit. So did you pass study or not? Sgtar15

fixed it for ya

Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position. I would hate to get popped for ONE toke!   I wonder if those tests are that sensitive?

Funny, I just have a crowd that doesn't smoke joints. Problem solved.

Quoted: For my current job, I had to make a 30 mile trip to piss in a cup. With the round trip drive and the wait it took 2 1/2 hours. What a pain in the ass.

Thank God there's a lab in town about 15 minutes from here and its not busy either. I was in and out in 20 minutes.
I still dont like it.

Hijack deleted.

Quoted: Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position. I would hate to get popped for ONE toke!   I wonder if those tests are that sensitive? Funny, I just have a crowd that doesn't smoke joints. Problem solved.

Funny, I hang in a crowd so diverse it runs from ravers to Special Operations Command soldiers. One minute I can be discussing weapons and tactics with high speed guys and trying their latest night vision stuff. Then, in the next minute, after I grab a beer and move over to the firepit, I'm standing next to a guy whos probably rolling on E.

Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position.

Interesting system. Glad it's working for you.

Something tells me, though, you should probably avoid gay establishments.

Quoted: I pee when I want, where I want

Do you at least take the dishes out of the sink before you pee in it?

could be worse, we had to take drug tests in college all the time. You had to go in the bathroom, blue die in the toilet water,  drop trou, then spin a 360 with some random guy or girl staring at you from about three feet away.

Then you had to hold the cup by the BASE, no touching anywhere else and no touching your Johnson.  If you've ever tried to precision pee without holding your unit, you'll know it's almost impossible.

as soon as you filled the little cup half way you handed it to your observer and tried to get the rest of the piss somewhere near the toilet.

Our quarterback was so ticked off about it that on the second test of his, he filled the cup half way and then just turned around and handed the observer the cup, pissing the whole time!  He whizzed all over the observer!

They stood a little further back the next time

Quoted: Quoted: For my current job, I had to make a 30 mile trip to piss in a cup. With the round trip drive and the wait it took 2 1/2 hours. What a pain in the ass. My last test was similar--I had been tested with everyone else in June, 1992 when the new company bought us.  After that, they implemented "random" tests every so often, which means you arrive on Friday for the meeting and find the door blocked by a desk with an ugly nurse manning it.  She has a list with names on it.  If your name is on the list you are handed a cup and told to go to the bathroom and fill it.  Upon entering the bathroom, you find the water shut off and blue dye in the toilets.  I was somewhat put out (I've NEVER even smoked pot, and graduated HS in 1977 at the height of the "Cheech and Chong" days)  but knew it is just the way of things these days.  This was about two years after the first test, which was a term of employment, even though I had been on my job nearly 15 years already--but it was a new company taking over.  Then, just a few months after that, a fax comes into the office on a Monday morning saying I had THAT DAY or the next day (48 hours total) to drive special to a particular lab (an hour one way) and submit another specimen--or my employment was terminated.  Now, I work as a life insurance agent, and we are told to "plan your work and work your plan."  The very company that pounds this into us was now telling me my plans for the two days meant nothing and I was to submit or be terminated.  It's not like I'm flying my laptop full of passengers into a mountain in a drug-induced fog.  It happened my manager was riding along with me that day, sooooooo . . . fearing I may come down with the flu or something on Tuesday, I left for Springfield with him along, to pee in a bottle.  He was FURIOUS at the waste of time.  My little "strategery" (Rush Limbaugh's word) must have worked, as my name has not appeared on any of the lists since then--and the rest of the office has started to wonder why my name NEVER comes up, as most others have been tested twice.  Damned witchhunts--no problem with a pre-employment test, but subsequent random tests for jobs that don't involve public safety are a waste of money.

It isnt really 'random'.
It was up to my boss to pick the people. He did it randomly though. He numbered us all and asked the first three people to walk in the door to pick a number. We found that out after but he could just as easily targeted someone if he wanted to.

Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position. I would hate to get popped for ONE toke!   I wonder if those tests are that sensitive?

Only loosers use drugs.

waht is interesting to me is that I work in a line of work that involves operating motor vehicles and yet a drug test wound not differentiate between a weekend coke binge or me snorting PCP the AM before going into work.

what is the difference you say?

who cares what an employee does on his own time. as long as he/she is not under th influence is what is important.

what if the test for alcohol was sensitive enought o know if you had a martini during happy hour on friday and it is now the wednesday hence?

is that a good idea?

it's b.s. and I personally think it is an illegal invasion of a reasonable expectation of privacy.

the most interesting part? ive pissed twice AND i wasnt worried because i dont do drugs.

I had TWO random test in six months.

Random my ass.

Quoted: Quoted: I pee when I want, where I want Do you at least take the dishes out of the sink before you pee in it?

Sometimes I pee in the bathroom sink while I brush my teeth.

Well I havent had one in awhile.  It is a pain in the ass to do though.

I was thinking of being a smartass and beating off in the cup and giving it back to them once.

Quoted: Well I havent had one in awhile.  It is a pain in the ass to do though. I was thinking of being a smartass and beating off in the cup and giving it back to them once.

Or a hot steamy number 2

well ill just buy one of those rubber wangs and some powdered piss the next time i go off the deep end.

Quoted: well ill just buy one of those rubber wangs and some powdered piss the next time i go off the deep end.

Clean Piss In a Bag

Quoted: Quoted: the most interesting part? ive pissed twice AND i wasnt worried because i dont do drugs. IMO, you should be concerned anyway.  As I said, I don't use drugs and never have.  We had a meeting which included our main company doctor.  While I had the chance, I asked him about the possibility of the following (true) scenario causing me problems:  As I said above, I work as a life insurance agent.  I was in the home of a young female client who had several young "gang type" losers in the next room who were laughing hysterically and smoking cigars which smelled very "funny"--a nasty odor that didn't smell anything like a cigar, which I find fairly pleasant.  I found out later they were smoking what are called "blunts"--cigars hollowed out and filled with marijuana.  Great, now I've inhaled marijuana smoke, as the room hung with it like a saloon.  I asked if this would cause me to test positive should I be tested shortly afterward.  He said it definitely would, but the "hit" would be less than the threshold required to be a problem.  He said you would have to smoke or eat marijuana in order to be above the (relatively high) threshold set by the company.  I found this to be small comfort, considering the company has an absolute "zero tolerance" policy, which means termination without recourse for a positive test.  I asked him if he could give me an absolute assurance there was NO possibility of a false positive.  Knowing he is a man of science (M.D.) I already knew the answer--no.  When he said that, I told him I wish to go on record as opposed to the testing.  I'm sure it was duly noted.

+1

Random drug testing is BULLSHIT!  One company in metro Detroit was doing random screenings in the place of a straight reduction in force layoff.  Seems they didn't want to pay severence or unemployment.  Totally fucked a bunch of people over.

Quoted: Random drug testing is BULLSHIT!  One company in metro Detroit was doing random screenings in the place of a straight reduction in force layoff.  Seems they didn't want to pay severence or unemployment.  Totally fucked a bunch of people over.

Or did they fuck themselves over with their own jackass behavior?

found this in a .txt file on the hard drive:

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army 145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test. 146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

sounds like a plan to me

If really want to get pissed off, ask management who drug tests the lab people who evaluate your "sample".


N0FUCKINGBODY!

That's right - the lab techs don't get drug tested.  How would you like to have your job on the line w/ a druggie doing the testing?

It's true here.

eta - I was foaming at the mouth when I heard that...

Quoted: Something tells me, though, you should probably avoid gay establishments. Well I DO! I still dont get it though?  WTF?

Switch drug users with homo's in your first post.

I think he was implying your logic about one toke wouldnt work all the time. If you were in the company of homo's that you might not want to explain your not being a homo thus possible act a little gay to get out of explaining why your not a homo to the real homo's. A take off on the logic of taking one toke to avoid explaining your view point


I must say I took it only as humor not a slight against you

I like handing someone a warm bottle of piss!!Take care . Coondog

Quoted: Well I havent had one in awhile.  It is a pain in the ass to do though. I was thinking of being a smartass and beating off in the cup and giving it back to them once.

Everything has to have a name. I coin this trick the "poached egg"!

I used to be a pretty regular user. I had just bought a new life insurance policy and my agent said I had to do a tobacco test. No problem at the time. The lady doing the test said, "now all we have to do is do a URINE test...you know, for DRUGS!"
She had to schedule a nurse to come to my house. Without acting paranoid I went on and scheduled it for the next week.I was about to leave for a 3 day kayak trip. I hadn't toked for about 10 days so I knew I was pushing it. The WHOLE paddling trip I drank nothing but cranberry juice. I was flushing big time to the point of pissing over the edge of my kayak while in motion every 15 minutes!
Well I got home and the big day came. I knew I really was SOL unless I flushed well enough. I was watching out the window waiting on here when the phone rang. It was the nurse, she said "I'm sorry but I can't make it today, will tomorrow work?" I said "weelllll, I was going out of town for vacation and wouldn't be back for 10 days." She said no problem!
I did the physical feeling pretty confident I would pass. My agent called me and said he had some bad news about my test. My heart went to my feet. He said the test said I had HIGH COLESTEROL!
Man I hate cranberry juice!

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I dont use drugs either but if I get in a crowd and someone lights a joint I have found it MUCH easier to just take one toke and then pass on the rest rather than go through all the BS of explaining why I dont smoke the stuff and then spend 10 minutes defending my position. I would hate to get popped for ONE toke!   I wonder if those tests are that sensitive? Funny, I just have a crowd that doesn't smoke joints. Problem solved. Funny, I hang in a crowd so diverse it runs from ravers to Special Operations Command soldiers. One minute I can be discussing weapons and tactics with high speed guys and trying their latest night vision stuff. Then, in the next minute, after I grab a beer and move over to the firepit, I'm standing next to a guy whos probably rolling on E.

Why do they call it "rolling?"   That's the second time I've heard that.

Heck I pee 4 maybe 5 times a day!

BigDozer66


Need to go right now so excuse me.

My company decided they wanted me. Random.

The mobile wagons shows up, well for us its a .fed standard test.

.fed says 3 hours allowed or its a refusal and fail.

That morning I got 2hours & 55 minutes of union scale to sit there and stare at them while chatting on my cell phone to everyone I knew.


They have never called me back in since.

BTW, mgmt was freakin out, we were slammed that morning.

OK, here's what MY policy is...

Random, and by random I mean I put everyone's name on the construction site under our employment into an excel spreadsheet.  I wrote a little macro that allows me to say pick 14 names out of 100 and then I let the computer do the work.  It picks 14 names at random, sometimes mine, sometimes our supervisors, sometimes a lot of guys from one particular trade.  Its random and sometimes randomness doesn't seem so random.  On one job a guy was picked twice and swore that I was singling him out.  

OK so what is to prevent me from doing this as in "I don't randomly like you...you're picked" kind of thing?  I usually have the union stewards from each trade observe me while I do it.  That way when one of their guys is picked they can't say that I did it because I didn't like them.  I document everything because that is what I was trained to do.  Myself and all of our supervisors under go training to pick out folks who may be working under the influence.  

So how do I make it even less painful?  I bring someone in to do the testing onsite.  That's right, you don't even have to go anywhere, just to the office trailer where a porta-john has been cleaned, inspected for contraband, and then locked.  Once you whiz its back to work.  I use instant tests which more or less show the results right away.  Of course if this test comes up as "non-negative" it goes to the lab for further testing to see if it really is positive for something.  If it comes up clean on the instant test you're for sure clean.  The instant test also checks for chemicals used to hide the presence of drugs so no cheating!

If you are hurt you are going to piss and breath becasue that is what our worker's comp. insurance company wants.  Why?  Because only about 10 years ago one of our workers mysteriously fell 12 feet and broke his neck paralyzing him.  No one knew why but after the blood work came back it was found that he was on cocaine.  Sucks to be him.  Shouldn't use coke and then work on a construction site.  Of course he sued us but that is another story.

When you are hired to work for us there is a legal form that plainly states that you will be tested for drugs, alcohol, or both at random, after accidents, or under reasonable suspiscion (which is clearly defined in most states).  If you don't sign, you don't work.  Many unions nowadays even test their employees every so many months and make them carry a card.  This has reduced our cost to hire as we don't have to do as many pre-employment drug screenings.  

If you want to smoke dope and chill in front of a computer all day that's fine.  I work in construction where people sometimes get hurt doing their jobs the right way.  The last thing our company or anybody working for us needs is a guy who is on drugs and putting himself and possibly others in danger.  If you don't like your company's drug testing policy you're lucky, we live in America which allows you to go somewhere else for employment.  Its not an infringment on your rights and if the rules are followed there isn't any problem.