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Posted: 8/27/2013 5:11:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/28/2013 9:55:46 AM EST by JDeere7296]
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy. We have two young daughters, I'm only concerned with them at this point. I don't want a separation but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating, drinking, etc....just she is an un-happy person.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this!!! I feel lost, like the rug is being pulled out from under me. I can't concentrate at work, at home it's not any better. I'm going to a counselor but it's not a whole lot of help at this point.

I know it's not the end of the world but damn it, it sure feels like it sometimes!

Update:

Well, I talked to a lawyer today. He was very helpful and at least if nothing else opened my eyes a bit. In the state of TX ,unless the two parties agree, there is no 50/50 custody. Only custodial and non-custodial. There has to be circumstances or issues (Dirt for a lack of a better term) with my wife in order for the courts to award custody of children to the father. Normally the custodial parent is the mother. I'm going to try and suggest to her 50/50 custody. I get the girls for a period of time (week, month, 2 months) she gets them for the same amount of time. Other than that the typical Non-custodial pattern is every 1st, 3rd & 5th weekend and every other Thursday for a 24 hour period during the school week days and then one month in the summer.

This morning wife said she was totally done and wants to move out into an apartment. At this point if that's what she wants to do I'm not going to stop her. Again, I don't want her to move out, I would rather her and I work things out. But my current tactic of appeasing and apologizing to her isn't working so I'm going to try this tactic. I'm going to see what her next move is and I'll seek advice further from the lawyer and others. The lawyer did say if she does move out on her own without the kids then the courts do view that as her giving her approval of me as a custodial parent....even if her intention is otherwise.

I don't want this to turn into a Shit slinging match between her and I. I don't want to put my children through this and I want to minimize the impact on them as much as possible.

I want to Thank Everyone that has given me advice and shared their circumstances with me. Your support and advice mean a lot and have help he greatly. I don't think I would have went to see a lawyer today if ya'll hadn't helped me out.

I'll keep the thread updated for everyone.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:17:35 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 5:21:08 AM EST by memsu]
Sorry, to hear that.

I'm going through the same thing right now with my wife. Luckily we don't have any kids in the situation. We both want it to work out, but feel the separation is needed to work things out.

She went to a lawyer, but at this point I don't feel like I need to get one. With the separation you just decide who's gonna pay for what. Which I'm sure I'm going to be screwed on because she only has a part time job and I bring in all the income, but that's how it's been during the marriage as well.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:17:55 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 5:18:43 AM EST by SouthTexasAR]
Pics not loading.

ETA. Sorry bout you losing your wife and all that. Also, pics still not loading.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:18:45 AM EST
PICS of said wife?

Went through this several years ago, marriage had just worked it's course after 16 years. I feel for you.
good Luck,
Roger
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:18:59 AM EST
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy. We have two young daughters, I'm only concerned with them at this point. I don't want a separation but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating, drinking, etc....just she is an un-happy person.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this!!! I feel lost, like the rug is being pulled out from under me. I can't concentrate at work, at home it's not any better. I'm going to a counselor but it's not a whole lot of help at this point.

I know it's not the end of the world but damn it, it sure feels like it sometimes!
View Quote


I've been through the same problems. When I'm getting real down I just watch Chopper Reid's video of man the fuck up. Seems to always cheer me up.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:19:10 AM EST
Unhappy?

Priest et al never promised us a rose garden.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:19:44 AM EST
Move out and file for a divorce. Start planning your future, make tons of room in it for your daughters.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:20:29 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:20:33 AM EST
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy. We have two young daughters, I'm only concerned with them at this point. I don't want a separation but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating, drinking, etc....just she is an un-happy person.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this!!! I feel lost, like the rug is being pulled out from under me. I can't concentrate at work, at home it's not any better. I'm going to a counselor but it's not a whole lot of help at this point.

I know it's not the end of the world but damn it, it sure feels like it sometimes!
View Quote

I was scared and alone in a black and lonely place for about 3 years when my ex decided she wanted to end our 30+ year marriage. Once I was divorced, the dust had settled and I discovered that life really does go on, it was like being reborn. I wonder now why I let it control me so much while it was going on. Believe it or not, life will return to normal eventually and it will more than likely be better. Just hang in there until the roller coaster stops and know that your kids need you now more than ever.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:22:43 AM EST
Sorry to hear about your troubles.

Have you met her boyfriend yet?
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:23:40 AM EST
When I went through my divorce I was amazed that something so painful was so common.

Love your daughters. Be very good to yourself. Talk with friends/family.

It DOES get better.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:24:33 AM EST
Sorry to hear, it's easy to not care until you have kids. I don't want a stranger raising my boys but fighting in front of them all the time is not good for their mental development...
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:29:30 AM EST
Lawyer up and press on with life.

By the time she hit you with this she already had her exit plan up and running and has been working on this for awhile now. You have already or are going to be replaced. It sucks but that is how these things go 99.9% of the time.

A shitload of us have been though this. You will live.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:30:14 AM EST
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Originally Posted By SouthTexasAR:
Pics not loading.

ETA. Sorry bout you losing your wife and all that. Also, pics still not loading.
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Originally Posted By SouthTexasAR:
Pics not loading.

ETA. Sorry bout you losing your wife and all that. Also, pics still not loading.


Originally Posted By RogerRonas:
PICS of said wife?

Went through this several years ago, marriage had just worked it's course after 16 years. I feel for you.
good Luck,
Roger


Stay classy.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:34:23 AM EST
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy.
View Quote


First lesson in Game 101: Stop trying to make her happy. She's un-happy because you're trying to "make her happy," which means you're supplicating to her. That makes you appear emasculated in her eyes, and causes her to no longer be sexually attracted to you.

It's called shit-testing. She doesn't actually want you to cave when she bitches. Women like men who lead them and don't let them be pushed around by female hormonal mood swings.

I learned this the hard way when my ex-wife decided to have an affair for no reason other than she was "un-happy." Why was she un-happy? No logical reason. Throw logic out the window when dealing with women.

Study game. Good place to start is Dalrock's blog. Als read the Spearhead. Learn and apply.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:35:17 AM EST
You would have much better luck with this thread in team.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:37:38 AM EST
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy. We have two young daughters, I'm only concerned with them at this point. I don't want a separation but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating, drinking, etc....just she is an un-happy person.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this!!! I feel lost, like the rug is being pulled out from under me. I can't concentrate at work, at home it's not any better. I'm going to a counselor but it's not a whole lot of help at this point.

I know it's not the end of the world but damn it, it sure feels like it sometimes!
View Quote

It may be unrecoverable... Besides, can you deal with that forever? Your children are exposed to it daily as well.


Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:37:50 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 5:51:32 AM EST by douglasmorris99]
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Originally Posted By Danner130:
Move out and file for a divorce. Start planning your future, make tons of room in it for your daughters.
View Quote



obviously the wife has mental issues, depression, unhappines,,may be a danger to her self and your children, FILE FOR YOUR RIGHTS
if you've been a "good boy" Fuck this psycho broad and move on taking your daughters with you.
YOU can not fix a broken women, trust me I married two..THEY are the problem, not you, YOUR problem is insuring your kids are raised in a
reasonably normal Happy and LEVEL home, period.


CHEF who's sadly been in your situation. NOT WORTH the Anchor weight she'll lay on you..
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:38:13 AM EST
Maybe you're feeling responsible for her unhappiness.

Maybe you shouldn't.

It will take some time. Be steady with your kids.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:39:28 AM EST
Sorry man.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:40:26 AM EST
Let me be the first one to say Congrats


I hope it is not too hard on your daughters.

If they are old enough to understand you might talk to them and let them know what is going on and it is not their fault.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:40:49 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.




I've heard the EXACT same story from 3 friends....all turned out cheating.

Sorry, brother. You and your family in my prayers.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:41:53 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.


Yep, BTDT
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:43:04 AM EST
Sorry to hear about your situation.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:43:43 AM EST
Protect yourself, protect your relationship and your rights with your children. Everything else is a distant second.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:43:47 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:45:37 AM EST
Sorry, been there, done that. Didn't even get a t-shirt.

As far as maintaining your sanity, this helped me a bunch. http://www.divorcecare.org/

Yeah, I thought the touchy feely group thing wasn't for me, but I think I went to 3 or 4 meetings before I ever told anyone anything other than my name. It was pretty cool.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:45:39 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.


this

Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:47:09 AM EST
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Originally Posted By QwikKotaTx:
Sorry to hear, it's easy to not care until you have kids. I don't want a stranger raising my boys but fighting in front of them all the time is not good for their mental development...
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Originally Posted By QwikKotaTx:
Sorry to hear, it's easy to not care until you have kids. I don't want a stranger raising my boys but fighting in front of them all the time is not good for their mental development...


You recognize this is not true right? They are for more likely to succeed in life even if you are unhappy and remain married.

I recognize it may be out of your control but do not lie to yourself they are far better off in an intact family.

Children raised in intact married families:
are more likely to attend college
are physically and emotionally healthier
are less likely to be physically or sexually abused
are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors
have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married
are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager

Children receive gender specific support from having a mother and a father. Research shows that particular roles of mothers (e.g., to nurture) and fathers (e.g., to discipline), as well as complex biologically rooted interactions, are important for the development of boys and girls (Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles, 2006).

A child living with a single mother is 14 times more likely to suffer serious physical abuse than is a child living with married biological parents. A child whose mother cohabits with a man other than the childís father is 33 times more likely to suffer serious physical child abuse (The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts, Patrick Fagan).

In married families, about one- third of adolescents are sexually active. For teenagers in stepfamilies, cohabiting households, divorced families, and those with single unwed parents, the percentage rises above one-half (The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts, Patrick Fagan).

Children of divorce experience lasting tension as a result of the increasing differences in their parents values and ideas. At a young age they must make mature decisions regarding their beliefs and values.

Children of so- called “good divorces” fare worse emotionally than children who grew up in an unhappy but “low-conflict” marriage (Ten Findings from a National Study on the Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce, Elizabeth Marquardt).
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:49:03 AM EST
OP, hope it works out for you! Everyone needs a break now a days.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:56:15 AM EST
Hang tough . . . it sucks and thats all there is to it

If you really think she isnt trying for someone else , then let her go . The old saying that if it was meant to be they'll come back ....it's true more often than people think . Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all those other worn out sayings .

You will always have your daughters and there really couldn't be a stronger tie that binds two people tighter. Make the most of it and see those two girls through life.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:56:41 AM EST
"unhappy" bs excuse, prob cheating. this is problem of westernized women, feminist movement bullshit. sorry, I know all too well.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:58:13 AM EST
I'm 28, and every day my decision to remain a bachelor forever solidifies even more.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 5:59:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 6:04:49 AM EST by JDeere7296]
Thanks for everyone's thoughts and advice. It's hard because all I've ever wanted was to have a wife and family. I look back and see that we were once happy and just can't see where all that was lost. The hardest thought though in all of this is me having to tell my girls and see the pain in their faces....I'm not afraid to be alone, it's not about that. It's the fact that I feel I've failed as a Dad. Even if I have or not it still doesn't change the way I feel!
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:00:33 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Lacoochee:


You recognize this is not true right? They are for more likely to succeed in life even if you are unhappy and remain married.

I recognize it may be out of your control but do not lie to yourself they are far better off in an intact family.

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Originally Posted By Lacoochee:
Originally Posted By QwikKotaTx:
Sorry to hear, it's easy to not care until you have kids. I don't want a stranger raising my boys but fighting in front of them all the time is not good for their mental development...


You recognize this is not true right? They are for more likely to succeed in life even if you are unhappy and remain married.

I recognize it may be out of your control but do not lie to yourself they are far better off in an intact family.

Children raised in intact married families:
are more likely to attend college
are physically and emotionally healthier
are less likely to be physically or sexually abused
are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and to commit delinquent behaviors
have a decreased risk of divorcing when they get married
are less likely to become pregnant/impregnate someone as a teenager

Children receive gender specific support from having a mother and a father. Research shows that particular roles of mothers (e.g., to nurture) and fathers (e.g., to discipline), as well as complex biologically rooted interactions, are important for the development of boys and girls (Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles, 2006).

A child living with a single mother is 14 times more likely to suffer serious physical abuse than is a child living with married biological parents. A child whose mother cohabits with a man other than the childís father is 33 times more likely to suffer serious physical child abuse (The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts, Patrick Fagan).

In married families, about one- third of adolescents are sexually active. For teenagers in stepfamilies, cohabiting households, divorced families, and those with single unwed parents, the percentage rises above one-half (The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts, Patrick Fagan).

Children of divorce experience lasting tension as a result of the increasing differences in their parents values and ideas. At a young age they must make mature decisions regarding their beliefs and values.

Children of so- called “good divorces” fare worse emotionally than children who grew up in an unhappy but “low-conflict” marriage (Ten Findings from a National Study on the Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce, Elizabeth Marquardt).


I've thought this is true too...but it's take two people to work on things to make that situation work. I can't make her get help if she doesn't want help herself.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:01:27 AM EST
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Originally Posted By HostisHumaniGeneris:


First lesson in Game 101: Stop trying to make her happy. She's un-happy because you're trying to "make her happy," which means you're supplicating to her. That makes you appear emasculated in her eyes, and causes her to no longer be sexually attracted to you.

It's called shit-testing. She doesn't actually want you to cave when she bitches. Women like men who lead them and don't let them be pushed around by female hormonal mood swings.

I learned this the hard way when my ex-wife decided to have an affair for no reason other than she was "un-happy." Why was she un-happy? No logical reason. Throw logic out the window when dealing with women.

Study game. Good place to start is Dalrock's blog. Als read the Spearhead. Learn and apply.
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Originally Posted By HostisHumaniGeneris:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy.


First lesson in Game 101: Stop trying to make her happy. She's un-happy because you're trying to "make her happy," which means you're supplicating to her. That makes you appear emasculated in her eyes, and causes her to no longer be sexually attracted to you.

It's called shit-testing. She doesn't actually want you to cave when she bitches. Women like men who lead them and don't let them be pushed around by female hormonal mood swings.

I learned this the hard way when my ex-wife decided to have an affair for no reason other than she was "un-happy." Why was she un-happy? No logical reason. Throw logic out the window when dealing with women.

Study game. Good place to start is Dalrock's blog. Als read the Spearhead. Learn and apply.



Good advice.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:03:46 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.



Yep. There's usually someone already lined up.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:04:00 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.





Agree. Been there, got the tshirt.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:04:33 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Demosthenes99:
I'm 28, and every day my decision to remain a bachelor forever solidifies even more.
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You know part of me has wished I would have never met my wife and that makes me feel horrible inside......BUT I know that if I would have never met her then I would have never known my two daughters and the joy they bring to my life. They ARE my life, and also the reason this is so hard. As a parent you always question yourself if your making the right decision by them.

Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:05:24 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.


I'd guess so too, if no cheating then she has her eye on someone. Divorce sucks, focus on your girls.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:05:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 6:06:12 AM EST by 57fairlane]
If you are 100% willing to save your marriage before its actually over:

Start with: Love Dare

If she decides to stay and try it out for awhile: Love and Respect
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:05:58 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Alpaca:



Good advice.
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Originally Posted By Alpaca:
Originally Posted By HostisHumaniGeneris:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy.


First lesson in Game 101: Stop trying to make her happy. She's un-happy because you're trying to "make her happy," which means you're supplicating to her. That makes you appear emasculated in her eyes, and causes her to no longer be sexually attracted to you.

It's called shit-testing. She doesn't actually want you to cave when she bitches. Women like men who lead them and don't let them be pushed around by female hormonal mood swings.

I learned this the hard way when my ex-wife decided to have an affair for no reason other than she was "un-happy." Why was she un-happy? No logical reason. Throw logic out the window when dealing with women.

Study game. Good place to start is Dalrock's blog. Als read the Spearhead. Learn and apply.



Good advice.


Yes it was....it's also very true in my situation. I've caved in to her way too many times. I do believe this is one of the reasons why I'm at this point.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:06:24 AM EST
Sorry OP, it's going to be tough, stay strong for your daughters.


Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:09:41 AM EST
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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:


More than likely she is.

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Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.


This. Most women seek stability. If she is willing to give up stability it is usually because she thinks she has it somewhere else.

OP, Sorry to hear. Hope it works out for the better in the end.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:09:54 AM EST
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 57fairlane:
If you are 100% willing to save your marriage before its actually over:

Start with: Love Dare

If she decides to stay and try it out for awhile: Love and Respect
View Quote


I want to save my marriage 100%, I would walk to the ends of the Earth.....I still love my wife! But I can't make her change and I've worked on my marriage all I can on my end. She refuses to get any help.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:10:16 AM EST
Good luck.

Life will get better.

My lessons from the divorce.

Don't fall on your sword. ie, don't give her everything to make it go easier.

Fight for equal time with the kids.

Get the book Starting Strength and start lifting weights. Its good for you and its a positive distraction.

Don't start drinking or doing stupid stuff.

Cut off joint credit card accounts ASAP.

Don't wallow in self pity, life really will get better. This is her decision. You can't make some body stay or make them be happy either.

Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:11:05 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 6:12:52 AM EST by Ltlabner]
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Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Thanks for everyone's thoughts and advice. It's hard because all I've ever wanted was to have a wife and family. I look back and see that we were once happy and just can't see where all that was lost. The hardest thought though in all of this is me having to tell my girls and see the pain in their faces....I'm not afraid to be alone, it's not about that. It's the fact that I feel I've failed as a Dad. Even if I have or not it still doesn't change the way I feel!
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To be accurate you may have failed as a husband, but it doesn't follow that you've failed as a father.

Big difference. I would suggest that at this point being a great father is far more important of the two.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:11:45 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 6:14:42 AM EST by sabre331]
I'm almost in same boat 30+ yrs of marriage now and wife's decided she's changed
Had my shit packed and ready to go last week ,
already got my plans down ,it's easier with my my daughter is grown
Just thought maybe one more shot at it before I leave
Hard to throw away 30 yrs but can't see myself doing anywhere near 30 more
Feeling like I feel , oh yeah it's always got something to do with infidelity of some kind or another
You can bet on it
Best of luck to you,Sabre
PS: Oh yeah & when it gets where you feel more comfortable away from her
than around her, that's a good sign its almost not worth it
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:13:19 AM EST
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Originally Posted By BKC1869:

This. Most women seek stability. If she is willing to give up stability it is usually because she thinks she has it somewhere else.

OP, Sorry to hear. Hope it works out for the better in the end.
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Originally Posted By BKC1869:
Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating,


More than likely she is.


This. Most women seek stability. If she is willing to give up stability it is usually because she thinks she has it somewhere else.

OP, Sorry to hear. Hope it works out for the better in the end.


She may be cheating, I'm not sure she is though. If she is she's hiding it very well. That would almost make it easier if she was. I know it sounds idiotic but maybe that would piss me off instead of me feeling sorry for myself. I honestly don't think she is though, she was cheated on by a guy she was in love with before we met. It hurt her really bad and she's always detested cheating in marriage.
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:14:43 AM EST
Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Yes, I know it's another one of these threads. I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon. Long story short, I've done all I know to do to make her happy. We have two young daughters, I'm only concerned with them at this point. I don't want a separation but she won't go to counseling of any sort to work out our problems. No cheating, drinking, etc....just she is an un-happy person.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with this!!! I feel lost, like the rug is being pulled out from under me. I can't concentrate at work, at home it's not any better. I'm going to a counselor but it's not a whole lot of help at this point.

I know it's not the end of the world but damn it, it sure feels like it sometimes!
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What this tells me is that you've already given up on the wife.


"For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health," does that not mean anything to either of you??
Link Posted: 8/27/2013 6:16:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/27/2013 6:17:52 AM EST by 57fairlane]
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Originally Posted By JDeere7296:


I want to save my marriage 100%, I would walk to the ends of the Earth.....I still love my wife! But I can't make her change and I've worked on my marriage all I can on my end. She refuses to get any help.
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Originally Posted By JDeere7296:
Originally Posted By 57fairlane:
If you are 100% willing to save your marriage before its actually over:

Start with: Love Dare

If she decides to stay and try it out for awhile: Love and Respect


I want to save my marriage 100%, I would walk to the ends of the Earth.....I still love my wife! But I can't make her change and I've worked on my marriage all I can on my end. She refuses to get any help.


Love Dare has nothing to do with her.

It has everything to do with the actions you take. It's a one-sided book which is the "dare" part. And its not so much a book as it is instructions.
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