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Posted: 12/24/2005 6:26:00 PM EST
I was walking through the living room at my parents' house when a commercial goes by with this girl advertising some sort of cosmetic. I pointed her out to my dad and I ment to tell him the girl I'm going to go out with when I get back to school looks just like her (to a T literally). However, instead I said:


"Yeah dad, that's the girl I'm going to bang when I go back to school"

Yes he did flip out.

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:26:55 PM EST
How the hell do you screw up a phrase like that?
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:26:58 PM EST
why, he was hoping you were gay?
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:27:47 PM EST
he'll get over it. get some!
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:28:38 PM EST

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:
How the hell do you screw up a phrase like that?



No clue, but somehow I did. Its the girl I'm going to date when I get back to school, not the girl I'm going to BANG when I get back to school.

I think he needs CPR he's still on the floor.

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:29:03 PM EST

You might as well of said......

I'm gonna bang that Whoe, Whoe, Whoe
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:29:21 PM EST
He obviously didn't believe you.

SIHPAPP!
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:30:08 PM EST
Well, good thing your mother wasn't around to hear it.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:31:04 PM EST
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:31:21 PM EST
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:31:58 PM EST
He flippd out for that . Would he rather you bang the guy from the Trojan commercial?
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:32:26 PM EST
Hmmm.... my dad would be amused by such a statement, certainly not offended. Of course, I wouldn’t say that sort of thing around any other family members.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:35:39 PM EST
Somebody's getting a box of rubbers under the tree tomorrow morning
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:37:35 PM EST
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 6:44:53 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/24/2005 6:47:22 PM EST by Morning_Wood]
Yeah, I saw that very same Queen Latifah commercial. Covergirl lardass removal cream I think.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:32:54 PM EST
As a father of way grown boys, my responce would have been...

don't make babies you don't want.

GM
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:36:06 PM EST
? My dad would have said, "Get some son, but don't make me a grandfather."
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:37:04 PM EST

"Freud"
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:37:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



+1
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:42:56 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/24/2005 7:44:14 PM EST by fadedsun]

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:46:32 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/24/2005 7:47:25 PM EST by Alien]

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:48:26 PM EST

Originally Posted By Daytona955i:
? My dad would have said, "Get some son, but don't make me a grandfather."



I gotta account to someone for my actions on earth when I buy the farm. Hopefully I will have something good to say.

My dad's got I.W.G.S, so he wants me to get married as soon as possible to the first eligible girl and make babies all day long.

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:49:17 PM EST
[Last Edit: 12/24/2005 8:08:07 PM EST by Andreuha]

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:
How the hell do you screw up a phrase like that?



No clue, but somehow I did. Its the girl I'm going to date when I get back to school, not the girl I'm going to BANG when I get back to school.

I think he needs CPR he's still on the floor.





I don't see the problem. You made your dad upset because you're banging a hot chick? Bring it up, tell him that if it upsets him so much you'll bang a hot guy instead. (well, at least in my family we're open and realistic about these things, I don't know about you)


Edit#2: but what the hell do I know, I'm from a country where Atheism was the law of the land until '91 or so...

Edit: IWGS?
Interesting... In my family guy usually make sure to try everything and shop around a whole lot, marry in the low-30's. I just don't understand the people in their early 20's that I know that are getting married. like WTH is wrong with these people? Diversity, eh? Oh well!
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:52:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



+1 same here!

More likely my dad would have said "don't get trapped!"

Lmao
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:52:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good unholy, Emeril slaying, diet killing, Rachael Ray of a damn fine cook!




My very first fixed that for you . . .
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:53:50 PM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:54:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




I don't think he mentioned hell . . . but way to go on supporting him in upholding his morals!!!

You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 7:57:53 PM EST

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:15:11 PM EST
When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone bang her.

That's a special feeling.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:21:54 PM EST
Haha, I I had said that to my pop he would have told me something like "You could never get a girl that looks like that!".
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:25:34 PM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.


You just need to visit africa some time if you belive premarital sex does no harm to a country. Every one having fuck buddies isn't exactly the greatest thing.

Also that highlighted statement is total BS
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:27:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:28:19 PM EST
I do believe in test driving before I buy.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:32:51 PM EST

Originally Posted By Chida66:
I do believe in test driving before I buy.



+1

Don't want to get no lemon.

Getting a refund is a bitch, at least test drive the thing under realistic operating conditions!
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:37:58 PM EST
My rents finding out I banged my first girlfriend was an... interesting experience. Not so mad as much as "How did you get in the position to fuck that girl??" to which case I am sure my answer would have been "by getting on top".
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:50:03 PM EST
Found the problem....

Ol' Dad heard what you said....but by the time he looked at the TV, the Brawny Paper Towel dude was on.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:52:46 PM EST
Just tell your dad you were joking.
Tell him the girl on TV doesn't look anything like the girl you're going to bang back at school.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:54:40 PM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:
No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:55:47 PM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?



Its a God given desire isnt it?

Sex is one of the most tempting things that you will ever have to face as a christian and a man. Sex before marriage is not worth the shame guilt and worry it will bring to you. Props to you for standing up for what you believe in.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 8:58:45 PM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?



For the 10th time, I intended to say "That's the girl I'm going to start dating when I go back to school", but I instead said "I'm going to bang that chic back when I get back to school".

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 10:01:39 PM EST
I'm only 22 but uh if I were old and had a kid my age I'd be like "Good job son, don't get her pregnant".
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 10:08:17 PM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.





If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?



For the 10th time, I intended to say "That's the girl I'm going to start dating when I go back to school", but I instead said "I'm going to bang that chic back when I get back to school".




OK, you intended to say one thing but you said something completely different. Why?

Link Posted: 12/24/2005 10:10:31 PM EST

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?



Its a God given desire isnt it?

Sex is one of the most tempting things that you will ever have to face as a christian and a man. Sex before marriage is not worth the shame guilt and worry it will bring to you. Props to you for standing up for what you believe in.



ohhh yes. During one of those times I just about failed I really wanted to grab that girl and.....

Thankfully I didn't.
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 10:11:05 PM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.





If you're that dead set against it, then why did you tell your dad that you're going to bang this chic when you get back to school?



For the 10th time, I intended to say "That's the girl I'm going to start dating when I go back to school", but I instead said "I'm going to bang that chic back when I get back to school".




OK, you intended to say one thing but you said something completely different. Why?




Slip of tonque?
Link Posted: 12/24/2005 10:14:51 PM EST
And? In my house, that's the norm. I remember my brother telling us how he went home with a 43 year old woman in England last year and when he got there, HER MOM came out and "kissed" him. He was praying that the granddaughter (22) came out, but no luck, he only banged the 43 year old one. It was quite possibly the worst "tagged" story he's ever told, but one which left us all laughing our asses off.

Merry Christmas!
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 12:09:00 AM EST
As posted by fadedsun:


Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"


No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....

Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.


No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!



Good Man, Fadedsun!

Keep your morals intact. Merry Christmas!
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 12:24:30 AM EST
whats the problem?
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 12:25:57 AM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

No, but then again I'm not going to give away my virginity to someone I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going to bang a girl that I Have no committment to, and one that has no committment to me.




I think I found your problem.
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 12:28:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

OK, you intended to say one thing but you said something completely different. Why?




Slip of tonque?



Uhh, yeah, that's it.

The problem with sexual repression is that it turns young men into horny idiots that equate sex with love and more often than not marry the first piece of ass they get, and then several years later post on Arfcom about their impending divorce.
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 1:02:32 AM EST
Hey, it happens. Reminds me of the time when I was 16 and my mom was trying to set me up with the daughter of a friend of hers. Mom said the girl had a "nice personality" and I kept asking her what she looked like. She hemmed and hawed and avoided the question, so I asked again and she again said, "She has a nice personality." So, like a moron I blurted out, "That's great, but you can't fuck a personality." How the FUCK did that come out of my mouth? Mom was too shocked to reply, and Dad, who overheard, laughed his ass off and, between fits of crying/laughter told me to go to my room.
Link Posted: 12/25/2005 1:13:06 AM EST

Originally Posted By Alien:

Originally Posted By fadedsun:

Originally Posted By LANCEMAN:
Is your dad a minister of something My dad would have laughed and said "good job"



No. As a christian I am expected not to be screw a girl until I'm married, something my parents expect of me. Sort of comes with being a christian . I've almost let my parents and myself down in this area. It kills me thinking I almost sacrificed my entire future for some fun and pleasure....


Originally Posted By waterispoison:
Was it a fat girl? Maybe that explains things.



No. I only date good looking ladies . If God wants me to marry a fat girl, she had better be one good cook!




You're not going to hell for premarital sex dude. It's not going to ruin your life/future either. To think so is an insult to probably 95% of the population. When you're ready to settle down, it is very much near impossible to find a mate that hasn't already lost their virginity.



Exactly Might actually be doing some of that today when the g/f comes over
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