Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Posted: 7/19/2008 5:24:44 PM EDT
So I was walking to lunch yesterday afternoon through the streets of Philadelphia, when a pigeon suddenly EXPLODED into flight directly in front of my face. I'm talking RIGHT in front of me.

As most city dwellers know, urban pigeons couldn't care less about humans unless we are either feeding them or stepping directly on them. Otherwise, they walk around us, generally annoyed at our presence on their sidewalks.

Well, apparently this pigeon was in mortal fear for his life, and took to the sky just as I walked by.

Now, I'm not easily startled, but this little bastard swooped up so close to me, I thought I was going to lose the tip of my nose. So, I did what any red-blooded American man would. Before I could stop myself, I shot out a fist and slugged that greasy sky-rat right in his feathery gut.

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.

I was pretty embarrassed, and looked around to see if anyone was watching. In true Philly fashion, everyone in the near vicinity continued on, completely oblivious to the 6' dork who just went air-to-air with a pigeon.

Strangely, my mind didn't scream any commands at me, nor did I order my body to pivot to reduce its signature to a smaller profile, it was all over before I knew it.


Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:28:01 PM EDT
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:28:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:30:00 PM EDT


I need a new keyboard
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:30:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:30:49 PM EDT
I a reporting you to peta
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:31:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:34:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:34:32 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....
a furry appears
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:34:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....


Yes. You got me. I'm a pigeonophile...Pigeonaphiliac...Pigeonofoi...Birdfucker.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:36:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....


Yes. You got me. I'm a pigeonophile...Pigeonaphiliac...Pigeonofoi...Birdfucker.



Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:36:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.




you breathed in pigeon aids!
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:40:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....


Yes. You got me. I'm a pigeonophile...Pigeonaphiliac...Pigeonofoi...Birdfucker.


so does the dresser drawer trick work with pigeons?
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:40:49 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 5:42:45 PM EDT by 70satvert]

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.



Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....


Yes. You got me. I'm a pigeonophile...Pigeonaphiliac...Pigeonofoi...Birdfucker.


We all know that pigeon was a whore. Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:43:54 PM EDT
You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

I award you with the appropriated badges. Print them out and pin them to your chest, or your shirt if you prefer to avoid pain.








What we need now is an animated .gif showing pigeons being punched, just for you.

DK_Prof is infamous for the shagged goose and the dresser drawer.

Piccolo is infamous for his Seeing Eye Cat stories.

You're the pigeon puncher.


CJ
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:47:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

I award you with the appropriated badges. Print them out and pin them to your chest, or your shirt if you prefer to avoid pain.

www.castlebury.net/images/Awards/Pigeons/Racing%20Homer(2).jpg
dclips.fundraw.com/400dir/liftarn_A_raised_fist.gif





What we need now is an animated .gif showing pigeons being punched, just for you.

DK_Prof is infamous for the shagged goose and the dresser drawer.

Piccolo is infamous for his Seeing Eye Cat stories.

You're the pigeon puncher.


CJ


Oh, man. That's why I never became a fighter pilot. I was afraid I'd end up with a lame callsign like "Doorknob", or "Noodle" or "VCR That Flashes 12:00 All The Time".


Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:52:31 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 5:53:09 PM EDT by The_Reaper]

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:

You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

CJ


Oh, man. That's why I never became a fighter pilot. I was afraid I'd end up with a lame callsign like "Doorknob", or "Noodle" or "VCR That Flashes 12:00 All The Time".




My boss needed to know the time.
He first looked at the union guy's wrist and saw that it was 10:30am.

I said it was 11:30am.

My boss looked back at the union guy and said "what the hell".

Union guys said "never learned how to change it with the spring forward shit. It'll be right again in a few months".

I about pissed my pants. The union guy was there on overtime, making more than $50 per hour.

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:54:49 PM EDT

I engaged a pigeon yesterday. He made a funny noise.


I thought this thread would be about something else.......
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:56:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

I award you with the appropriated badges. Print them out and pin them to your chest, or your shirt if you prefer to avoid pain.


What we need now is an animated .gif showing pigeons being punched, just for you.

DK_Prof is infamous for the shagged goose and the dresser drawer.

Piccolo is infamous for his Seeing Eye Cat stories.

You're the pigeon puncher.

CJ


welcome to the "i posted something on the internet that i probably should regret" club
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 5:58:36 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

I award you with the appropriated badges. Print them out and pin them to your chest, or your shirt if you prefer to avoid pain.


What we need now is an animated .gif showing pigeons being punched, just for you.

DK_Prof is infamous for the shagged goose and the dresser drawer.

Piccolo is infamous for his Seeing Eye Cat stories.

You're the pigeon puncher.

CJ


welcome to the "i posted something on the internet that i probably should regret" club


I think I burned that bridge with my "Found a tick on my scrotum" thread.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:11:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does


The pigeons flying around the City are not great to eat but the ones in the country are great! Considerably larger than a dove so there is more meat. Good stuff!
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:13:15 PM EDT
In college we used to kick them on the green.

It was a hell of a test of speed but always hillarious.

RR
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:17:57 PM EDT
I never had an issue with any of the squirrels on campus until one of the fuzzy little fuckers started throwing things at me every time he saw me. Little bastard would run up a tree or the side of a building and drop acorns or even rocks on me as I walked underneath.

Now I'm reading the squirrel snaring thread in survival so I can catch him and eat him. Seems fair to me. He's had just as long to learn how to develop a snare or firearm as I have.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:18:52 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 6:19:23 PM EDT by Mall-Ninja]
Whenever they're on the ground in my path, I'll take a slow kick at them to scatter them. Never thought I'd ever connect with one.

Then one day, after class, I walked through the quad. As I walked through one group in front of a garbage can, I took a swipe at them.

The steel capped toe of my size 9.5 boot caught one square in the pooper, and she went head first into the side of a concrete garbage can.

After flopping and flapping around for a few seconds, it went about its business hunting for crumbs on the sidewalk again.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:20:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sum-rifle:

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does


The pigeons flying around the City are not great to eat but the ones in the country are great! Considerably larger than a dove so there is more meat. Good stuff!


bleh... the ones we had were dark, chewy, stringy and just didn't taste good at all.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:21:16 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:21:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 6:23:16 PM EDT by Tekka]
Do you punch the pigeons often?
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:21:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By sum-rifle:

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does


The pigeons flying around the City are not great to eat but the ones in the country are great! Considerably larger than a dove so there is more meat. Good stuff!


bleh... the ones we had were dark, chewy, stringy and just didn't taste good at all.


You're not supposed to eat cat unless it's got plenty of sweet and sour sauce on it.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:22:40 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does


at least YOU got the pigeons... and watersnake tastes about as good as you think when you are hungry.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:24:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rexydg7:

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By SkilletsUSMC:
Hopefully he's dead. I hate dumpster chickens.


YOU hate them? they gave us one scrawny rabbit and three of those filthy little fuckers to feed 5 guys at SERE. pigeon tastes about as good as you might imagine it does


at least YOU got the pigeons... and watersnake tastes about as good as you think when you are hungry.


i stumbled on a momma grouse on my last day I was there... she was damn lucky it was my last day and i was inclined to let her and her grouse family live. had it been a day prior i would have been eating grouse and grouse eggs for lunch.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:24:31 PM EDT
I found a picture of the event!
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:24:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By The_Reaper:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.


Tell us the truth. You actually screamed like a little girl.




Oh, I'd tell you if I did. All I had time to do was suck in air quickly, and then it was over.

I...I don't know if I can talk about it right now...It's...Too soon.


So you sucked hard, and the pigeon went Gu-loolooloolooloolooloo ???

Hmmmm....


Yes. You got me. I'm a pigeonophile...Pigeonaphiliac...Pigeonofoi...Birdfucker.


so does the dresser drawer trick work with pigeons?


thats a Fort Pierce habit only..
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:25:00 PM EDT

Now, I'm not easily startled, but this little bastard swooped up so close to me, I thought I was going to lose the tip of my nose. So, I did what any red-blooded American man would. Before I could stop myself, I shot out a fist and slugged that greasy sky-rat right in his feathery gut.slammed his ugly head in my socks drawer!


THIS is what you meant to say, isn't it?
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:32:14 PM EDT
We demand MS Paint!



Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:40:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Nlinc:
abbildung.sw-schutz.com/misc/gif/bird.gif





You owe my employer a new keyboard and one lcd monitor cleaning............
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:45:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Napoleon_Tanerite:

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
You are now officially a Pigeon Puncher, First Class.

I award you with the appropriated badges. Print them out and pin them to your chest, or your shirt if you prefer to avoid pain.


What we need now is an animated .gif showing pigeons being punched, just for you.

DK_Prof is infamous for the shagged goose and the dresser drawer.

Piccolo is infamous for his Seeing Eye Cat stories.

You're the pigeon puncher.

CJ


welcome to the "i posted something on the internet that i probably should regret" club


What would you know about that?

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:53:41 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tekka:
I found a picture of the event!
i33.tinypic.com/2r2vtdd.jpg


Oh, internet. How did we ever survive without you?
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 7:53:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By Tekka:
I found a picture of the event!
i33.tinypic.com/2r2vtdd.jpg


Oh, internet. How did we ever survive without you?


Its here to help.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 7:55:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tekka:

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:

Originally Posted By Tekka:
I found a picture of the event!
i33.tinypic.com/2r2vtdd.jpg


Oh, internet. How did we ever survive without you?


Its here to help.


al gore be praised

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 7:59:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By FrankSymptoms:

Now, I'm not easily startled, but this little bastard swooped up so close to me, I thought I was going to lose the tip of my nose. So, I did what any red-blooded American man would. Before I could stop myself, I shot out a fist and slugged that greasy sky-rat right in his feathery gut.slammed his ugly head in my socks drawer!


THIS is what you meant to say, isn't it?

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 8:18:11 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 8:22:23 PM EDT by cmjohnson]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=psD1s8ULCBs&feature=related


In the last few seconds there's an authentic pigeon punch. Who's the expert here who'll clip that out, crop it, and turn it into an avatar?






Don't punch the pigeons. Love them.





And don't try blowdarts. They're not a guaranteed winner against pigeons.





"Hey, that fucker stole my dart!



CJ
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 1:21:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=psD1s8ULCBs&feature=related


In the last few seconds there's an authentic pigeon punch. Who's the expert here who'll clip that out, crop it, and turn it into an avatar?




CJ


Well look what just appeared in my email!
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 1:59:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Beltfedleadhead:
So I was walking to lunch yesterday afternoon through the streets of Philadelphia, when a pigeon suddenly EXPLODED into flight directly in front of my face. I'm talking RIGHT in front of me.

As most city dwellers know, urban pigeons couldn't care less about humans unless we are either feeding them or stepping directly on them. Otherwise, they walk around us, generally annoyed at our presence on their sidewalks.

Well, apparently this pigeon was in mortal fear for his life, and took to the sky just as I walked by.

Now, I'm not easily startled, but this little bastard swooped up so close to me, I thought I was going to lose the tip of my nose. So, I did what any red-blooded American man would. Before I could stop myself, I shot out a fist and slugged that greasy sky-rat right in his feathery gut.

He made a "Gu-looloolooloolooloo" sound, and wobbled in the air for a few yards before crash landing around the corner.

I was pretty embarrassed, and looked around to see if anyone was watching. In true Philly fashion, everyone in the near vicinity continued on, completely oblivious to the 6' dork who just went air-to-air with a pigeon.

Strangely, my mind didn't scream any commands at me, nor did I order my body to pivot to reduce its signature to a smaller profile, it was all over before I knew it.




Poor defenseless pigeon. You should be ashame of yourself.
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:02:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:07:59 PM EDT
I hate those damn things. There are millions of those nasty fuckers in the French Quarter sloshing around in that piss juice that puddles up on Bourbon Street.
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:10:35 PM EDT
10 points for Anti Air fisticuffs.Good job...........i hate nasty ass pigeons
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:20:42 PM EDT


I hate those nasty things
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:29:34 PM EDT
Link Posted: 7/20/2008 2:36:32 PM EDT
Top Top