So today was a gorgeous sunny warm dry day, and my car was pretty dirty from the snow/ice/salt of the past few days.  I pull up to the car wash console and ask for the deluxe.  

It's $6, so I start out by attemping to insert a $5 bill.  It doesn't take it.  I try over and over but it refuses my fiver.  Finally it takes it, but then it spits it out, much to my chagrin.  The bill falls, and I try my best to grab it amid the wind, but it lands in a wet spot.  I knew I was screwed now.  No machine in its right mind will take a wet five dollar bill.

I get some ones out of my wallet, and start sliding them in.  When I got to the fourth one dollar bill, it wouldn't take it.  NOOOOOOO!

I tell the machine that I'm scared for my life. It stares back, with its cold, deadly stare.  The machine vs me.  Neither of us will budge.  I insist that its making me uncomfortable, and to step down before anyone gets hurt.

The machine snarls at me.   It's mocking me.  "I will have none of this" I exclaim!

Out comes my pistol.  You know the rest.  Oh, and I now have a clean car.

Was the machine wearing MARPAT?

gratuitous +1