found a house we like, suits all of our needs out in the country on a mountain. love the area. 2min from a few wineries, 5min from state hunting land. a few rivers in town and national park we like to visit when we can (backpacking/hiking) We put in an offer (knee jerk reaction?) and they countered last night. They are wainting for us to sign, counter or reject.

Problem: Ill be commuting more to work. currently 9.7mi, new house is 45.9mi. Wife's commute will go from 5.7mi to 38.3mi. not as bad for her. We could commute together, and that might help save gas. But the distance will mean less stime at home with MIL and our 2 kids (1 in pre-school, other stays home).

Our fuel costs will rise greatly, but we will be losing 2 utilities. New house is 100% electric (150-350 for elc bill depending on season).

Current rent is 1300, mortgage will be 1200ish. I am in a full time job, she is parttime/seasonal.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you decide and how?

Not in a similar situation but I'd buy.  If your area is anything like mine rent is only going to go up.

true for our area. although our contract is month to month with a private individual. lived here for 2 yrs. 3 level townhouse w/in 20miles of DC. houses in our row are renting for 1600-1700

the house we are looking at is actually a good deal for the area. 197,500, 3b3b 1800sqft. 2 kitchens

currnetly live in manassas va, moving to linden va

Buy.

That commute isn't really a big deal, you will get used to it.

Renting is the most ridiculous thing ever, get away from it.

Eh. That's tough. That's a heck of a jump in drive time. That can kill people.

its not commute time, its commute cost

Buy, there's nothing like owning your own place. Renting sucks long term.

I'd definitely buy then.  It's only a matter of time before your landlord wises up and starts charging market rates.

Can you translate your drive in time and not miles?


Miles doesn't matter, what matters is how long it takes you to traverse those miles.



Where I'm at 38 miles would take you at least a couple hours each way.  Out in the country, less than 38 minutes.

Rates aren't going to be this low much longer. IMHO

Consider that. You are taking a 15 to 20 minute driving and turning it into a 1 hour affair there and back. Not to mention commuting may not work as you think considering you don't work at same place. Your fuel costs would not be insignificant.
With that said, if you are positive you are staying long term and that house is where you want it, rates are decent now for mortgages.  Buying makes more sense than renting if you can afford it.

Is the MIL living there so there's 3 paying towards the mortgage? You will find somehow to make it work. Sounds like the house would be a better place to raise the kids too.

This is also true.  I'm closing on a house in 2 weeks and the mortgage jumped up 0.5% in the time it took to go from application to locking in a rate.

Buying is better than renting

Commuting.is better than getting raped in a bad neighborhood.

Buying now is much cheaper than it will be in the future because of interest rates.

You lose 10% of purchasing power if rates go up 1%.

my current 9.7mi commute - 30-45 min
new commute 45.9mi - 55min.

its not the time, its the cost. we have 3 cars: kia soul, honda odyssey and  asilverado. Kia or honda need to stay at home with MIL so she can be mobile with the 1yr old

MIL gets apr $600/mo from FIL's death Via social security.

the rough part is that my wifes income is seasonal. Winter is tight for us, but this winter may be easier with MIL helping

Really the only thing that is worrying me is the cost of commute...

everything else is fine...

I wonder if this is some deep part of me that is scared of change and uncertainty.... we expect to live here for at least 4-5yrs... maybe im just focusing on the 1 bad thing too much?

wife is still finishing her masters, will be moving away from her school, only a few classes left for her to finish.

car payment... doesnt fit the budget...

or let me know which address to send the note

thats far as hell.

How are the schools or do you plan home schooling?
I moved to bfe when my kids were small and the rural schools were a major consideration.  Some are lacking.

45 miles? That's nothing.

How much of a fuel difference are we actually talking?  It seems like you are sitting in traffic now burning gas versus driving from your new place burning gas.



If you drive the Soul, you should be burning an extra 2ish gallons a day?  $30 a week or $120 a month?

kids are 3 and 18mo. Schooling not of great concern as of right now.

leaning towards buy now, wifes work is on the way to my work, can carpool together, just might mismatch somedays.

I feel like an asshole for dragging my wife through this emotional flip flop

I just moved from my parents to an apartment with  the GF.  Cut the commute from 1 hour + via bus to 15 minutes shared.  Plus lots of stuff to do within walking distance.

If I drive the silverado myself to work we are talking $400ish a month. If she and I commute with the soul we are looking at $130ish a month.

Im thinking we get the hosue and she and I jsut commute together..... could actually be good for us alone in the car w/ no kids.

this is the exact opposite

Renting is underrated, IMO.

Don't just compare the mortgage to the lease. Compare the true monthly cost of home ownership, with upkeep included, with the cost of renting.

Not saying one is always better than the other, but if I had to do it all again, I don't think I would buy until I found the perfect house that I was going to keep forever. The notion of flipping houses for profit ever 5-7 years or whatever is bullshit for most people.

Do it.  Put on your Hamster costume and run the Kia to the end of it's warranty.   I did a 27 mile / 45 minute commute through Los Angeles freeway traffic for a decade.  It was not a big deal.   You have a car choice that gets good mileage.

You already know you are renting way below market where you are at.  Just a matter of time before your rent jumps 500 bucks a month.

I just paid my home off last year.

.  

Why pay someone else's mortgage for them though so they can later sell the rental an profit?

No way in hell I'd commute that far. Life is too short to waste 2-3 hours of it in the car every day. But it's your call--you do what makes you happy.

ETA: I see you do actually have young kids. Double no. If you decide to commute together, enjoy the many times you now both have to leave work to go pick up a sick kid from daycare. If you commute separately, your wife is still a minimum of about 45 minutes away from the kids if something happens, right? Still your call--just more to add to the decision-making process.

Buy a motorcycle, between the gas savings, $100 less in housing payments, and interest rate tax deductions, it should pay for itself.

Might have to get a sidecar for her, so she can pick up the kid though and the gas savings on those aren't great, but insurance is cheap

Do what you want, but I'm never having a mortgage again.......ever.

Doesn’t sound like the right move for a temporary house. There will be a retraction once rates increase. You may lose your ass if values falter and you’re out in BFE in a low demand area.

So you don't have to worry about unexpected home repairs, depreciation, the neighborhood going to shit, etc.  As military there is also the uncertainty of where you'll be living and for how long.  There are some real horror stories of guys signing for a home and coming down on orders the next month.



Now, on the other hand, it does bother me knowing that any home improvement I do is netting me no real gain.



 

Typically, I'd agree with you, but 1.5 hours of quiet time with his wife each day with 2 toddlers at home...I'd take that.



 

This. You are buying someone else's equity for them.

Deal with the commute. It's worth it.

You can't claim a rent house on taxes
 

Renting g is a fast way to move into a city. It what we're doing and I want to buy a house. Wife is looking for better job prospects, as her employer doesn't compensate for annual fees and training she had to do to maintain her license, unlike other jobs in her field. They also haven't given her a raise as promised after her clinical fellowship year, and then they cut fridays, which she now makes less than she was.


At least with a house, you can eventually pay it off and be left with property tax.


With rentals, you'll pay for that and property tax the entire time you live there, up until if they decide to sell the house and your forced to find a new roof over your head.

I agree on the repairs.  I'll never live in a "neighborhood" again so that's a non-issue for me.  I suppose renting does have some perks but I would never want to rent again.  Paying for someone else to get the equity is just something I can't get past.  And I know some people who have rented the same places for 10+ years.  With what they pay I'm fairly certain they cover the owner's mortgage and give him a NICE profit every month.  Not to mention the equity he gets to roll in on their dime.    

IF the extra cost for gas has you worried you are not in a position to get a house.
You better be prepared to pay all bills with your income not the wife's and MIL.

IF you are budgeting it so tight you have to depend on wife and MIL to help out you cant afford the house shit happens and unexpected expenses will put you under.

Keep looking for a house just not that one you cant afford it.

This is probably the best advice in this thread.  Not to bash OP and no disrespect intended but if 200-300 extra a month in gas is going to be an issue what about when your hot water heater fails or furnace needs replaced in a year?

Buy the house.  I mean, how can you properly hoard .22 ammo as a renter?  Can't be done my friend.

I vote no, as a current homeowner.

Do you have enough space in your current place?  Reasonably safe area?  Like your landlord?  Rental property in good condition?  Leave it be then.

I am on my second house.  First house was a 20 year old maintenance nightmare that was about an 1.5 hour commute each way from my job.  I would get to work angry as hell after sitting in traffic, have a shit day, then turn around and drive it again, this time in Texas heat, to get home to a house that required endless fix-its and repairs until I sold it.  There's no way in hell I do that again.

We built a new house and I changed jobs, so the endless maintenance/money pit was gone, but I had about a 40 minute commute each way.  Better, but it still blew.  I made that last for about 3 years until I got sick of it and my employer and changed jobs again for a 20 minute commute.  There's no fucking way I'd go back to anything over 30 minutes.  Life is too short to be dicking around in traffic.

Unless you are throwing a fat stack of cash on the table at closing on a shorter term loan like 15 year mortgage, the whole BS about owning vs renting is exactly that, BS.  You are paying mostly the bank's profits early on, so there's not a huge difference in paying someone else's mortgage vs paying the bank's profits.  ETA - you're also paying for the luxury of picking up the phone and saying, "landlord, your house done broke, please to be fixing k thx bye".  It's not all getting screwed.

Home ownership isn't free either.  All those repairs are on you.  If you are a DIY'er, you can handle a lot but with a long commute AND two toddlers, you don't have the time.  You trade time for money when you need a pro to get it done.  Or when something breaks that requires licensing to deal with, like HVAC, on top of being super expensive to touch.  And if you're burning $400 in gas with the truck, then you ain't got money to fix stuff either.

I sound bitter, but I made mistakes with that first house and job combination that I wouldn't wish on anyone.  I'm not down on home ownership as I like my current house and job, but you have to take it all together.

Don't forget to factor taxes, insurance, maintenance and the monthly escrow of funds for when an appliance shits the bed or the roof needs replacing.  

Also, dat commute  Granted, I went from a 45 minute commute to a 9 minute commute 3 moths ago, so I'm kinda biased

How far under market value and/or asking price would the counter offer be?

Having recently gone through this, if the home checks all your boxes, and you have the ability to get it for under market value, then go for it. With as crazy as some of the housing markets have been lately and the economy not being as strong as it's claimed to be, under market value could help keep you from being upside when the next crash comes.

For instance, we purchased our home for $279K about 8 months ago. This was shortly after the sellers dropped the asking price from $299K, current market value puts the home at ~$330K, which I think is pretty outrageous, but looking at the price of comps in the same neighborhood, it doesn't appear to be too far off. Obviously with the equity from our previous home, we financed far less than the sale price, but it's nice to have that instant equity should we ever need to dump the house for any reason.

Based on what you said about your current rent being $300-$400/month below market, and your primary concern being increased commute cost...ask yourself what situation you'll be in when your rent is adjusted for market prices.

You'll eventually be paying the extra $300-400/month, would you rather it be in rent or in commute costs to your own home out in the country?

Don't base commuting costs on current fuel prices.   Can you afford them if gas was $5.50 a gallon?