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Posted: 5/14/2004 2:42:31 PM EST
OK guys, I try not to do this much, but I'm pretty miserable and I need to whine/vent. Any advice would be welcome.

Professionally life is not great, but looking up. I have alot of really good things getting set to happen in the very near future - if I want to continue my carreer.

Personally, however, life is pretty miserable. I don't know if you guys remember Opie and Anthony, but one thing they taught me that I will never forget is that "it's the bitchez that'll getchez".

I'm planning on breaking up with my current GF next week (this week is finals week in her college and I don't want to stress her out any more than is necessary) and after three years it's going to be hard - even if the relationship does suck. She's a wonderful girl with a wonderful family. But our relationship has totally fallen apart and there's nothing really there anymore

A friend has already hooked me up with a new girl - I've met a few times and I'm really into her. But it's one of those wierd things. She's a really bad girl and I know she's into stuff that I don't need to get anywhere near. And, to make it worse, she has a boyfriend. I'm thinking my friend introduced us because the "bad" girl's boyfriend is a total fucking asshat, and she's hoping we hook up and she dumps his dirtbag ass. But this girl has more or less stood me up twice. I know both times were due to circumstances and not because she wanted to - but it still hurt. But when I do see her I'm a very happy guy and she seems to be interested in me too. I have to wait until Sunday to talk to her - if she calls me. I have to be real careful about when I call her because her boyfriend will kick her ass if he finds out she has a another guy - even as a friend (which would be fine too).

I found a lump some where that shouldn't have any lumps - I'm seeing a doctor next week. I'm thinking possibly the "C" word that rhymes with "Dancer", hopefully I will be wrong. I'm a guy if that helps pinpoint where the lump is.

I don't really have any friends I can spend any time with. I went into the Army and the few people I used to associate with have either turned into total dirtbags when I was away, or have moved out of town. My Army buddies are scattered across the globe and not really in touch. It seems that alot of people I meet are afraid to spend much time with me because of my profession (LEO) so that doesn't much help.

To make things even worse - I just burnt the bejessus out of my dinner - in the MICROWAVE no less!

So thats some of what's going through my mind and making me not happy. Anyone have any ideas on how to bounce back?
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 2:45:00 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/14/2004 3:22:58 PM EST by EdAvilaSr]
I go to church, but in the mean time you could look at this
im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3d702b3127cce8ea08cc6102c0000001610
this better

Warning: BOTD in url! EdSr
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 2:47:00 PM EST
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 2:49:09 PM EST
pOST ON THIS THREAD, HE WILL HELP YOU.

bECAUSE THIS IS GETTING LOCKED.

sgTAR15
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 2:57:32 PM EST
You already know the answer.

If your current or future girlfriend can't conform to your specs, lose her.

That is of course, assuming you have goals, morals and are not an ass hat/source of the problem.

Stay away from bad girls.

Make the best decisions you can and yolk yourself with someone who has common interests, or is open to learning what your interests are.

You will have plenty of time to reflect on and regret POOR choices in your walk through life, so do the best you can in choosing a potential mate.
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:00:23 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/14/2004 3:01:45 PM EST by chuckhammer]
BOTD violation:

IBTL



ETA: I would take a bite outta that ass!
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:04:15 PM EST
Just try to keep thinking "screw it it don't mean nothing". The girl stuff is normal, the "C" word stuff I can relate with. I had a specimen cut off and sent for a biopsy last Monday and don't have the results yet, the waiting sucks. As to the friends issue, get out and make new ones! Go do things that your interested in and you will meet people like you, join a gun club or archery club or anything that will put you around people that like the same things you do. When you meet people try not to push the fact that your a LEO until they get to know you, that could turn some people off. I'm not saying that it's right, just saying that that's the way it is sometimes. You might try hooking up with some of the members here in your area, I've met a few in my area and they were all great guys.
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:04:18 PM EST
Okay, here is the real answer.

You dumped a nice girl because you got bored with her. For some stupid assed reason you think love and relationships is supposted to be 24 hours of fun and excitement. This didn't happenwith the good girl so now you want to get trashy with a slut.

Which is fine if you want to do that. But don't confuse lust with love. When you are in lust you basically want to get your dick wet and thatit, nothing else in return.

Love is when you actually care about the person and that person cares about you. You care because you both have the same common goals, the same ideals, and a goal.

But to actually get to the stage requires time!!

Did you hear me?? TIME!! That means you STAY with a person and really find out what they are about. If you don't like them then move on. But don't do it just becaused you are bored and want to get your dick wet.

That's a man ho.

Sgtar15
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:06:33 PM EST
Can't help you with the girlfriend thing, but as far as the "C" thing, there are some lumps down there and they are not necessarily cancer. If you've never gone feeling there (like most normal guys), you may not know what to look.....er feel for. Going to the DR. to check it out is a good idea though.
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:07:45 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/14/2004 3:14:56 PM EST by 03shooter]

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
Okay, here is the real answer.

You dumped a nice girl because you got bored with her. For some stupid assed reason you think love and relationships is supposted to be 24 hours of fun and excitement. This didn't happenwith the good girl so now you want to get trashy with a slut.

Which is fine if you want to do that. But don't confuse lust with love. When you are in lust you basically want to get your dick wet and thatit, nothing else in return.

Love is when you actually care about the person and that person cares about you. You care because you both have the same common goals, the same ideals, and a goal.

But to actually get to the stage requires time!!

Did you hear me?? TIME!! That means you STAY with a person and really find out what they are about. If you don't like them then move on. But don't do it just becaused you are bored and want to get your dick wet.

That's a man ho.

Sgtar15



He said that he's been with her for three years, I think that's enough time!
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:09:47 PM EST
WTF ?
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:24:11 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/14/2004 3:32:01 PM EST by TRW]
IBTL

BOTD displays for "medicinal purposes only" should be exempt!

Special-K.

Where in NY are you? If you are in the mid-hudson valley, we should get together for a beer and we can tell each other how bad our lives suck.

If you are going to end a relationship, it's always better to be the dumper than the dumpee!

Boredom in relationships can set in at any time. Old girlfriend = boredom. The new girl = new and exciting. New and exciting may not always be the best thing and from your description I would tread carefully.

About the "C" thing. It may not be cancer. Depends on where the lump is. The lump could be the vas deferens connecting to your testicle. Best to ge tit checked out though. Especially if the doc is female and HOT. My wife is currently going through chemo and radiation treatments for cervical cancer so I can understand your concerns.
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:37:14 PM EST
Every challenge you face in life is there solely for the purpose of giving you the opportunity to become a more enlightened human.

Accept fate and consequences with grace and dignity. Never make the same mistake twice.
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 3:41:23 PM EST
[Last Edit: 5/14/2004 3:41:42 PM EST by Misery]
One thing I can say is to never worry about a possible medical problem that might not exist. They'll more than likely call you and say it's benign, so you'll have worried for nothing!

Keep your chin up!
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 4:29:27 PM EST
Thanks for the advice y'all.

SGTAR15: Yup, it's been 3 years. Believe it or not, but it's been a year since the last time we kissed/hugged/held hands/whatever. But we're still "together" for some reason. We only see eachother once or maybe twice a week because our schedules don't always mix. As long as it's been , yes - I do want to get my dick wet, but waiting longer isn't going to kill me either. She really is a great girl, and I really do think the world of her (why I've stuck it out for so long), but I think we both deserve more out of a relationship.

TRW: I would love to down a few beers with you, but I live about as far as possible from the Hudson Valley and still be in NY. I could land a mortar round in Lake Erie from here. But if I'm ever in the area I'll be sure to let you know and I'll buy the first few rounds.

BenDover: Good advice. Thanks.

As for the "C" thing, I'm hoping it's not, but what I have read about on the web describes it almost to a T. Hard lump about the size of a BB that doesn't move around at all. We'll see on Tuesday. To those of you who are dealing with similar stuff too (03Shooter,TRW) I wish you (and your wife) the best.

To the rest whom I didn't mention specifically, thanks also. Any others are welcome as well!





Link Posted: 5/14/2004 5:30:00 PM EST
I feel your pain brother. Don't go for the whore- trust me it will only end badly. The other one shoudl be ditched as well. You don't have to have a girlfriend right away. Go out and have fun. I just learned this lesson the hard way- fell in love with whore who was once my best friend. It ended because as a friend I didn't see the bad things in her, dating her was a different story- then I was no longer a friend but instead just another notch on her bedpost. Now she hates me because I didn't go quietly when she wanted to kick me to the curb. Three years- best friend in college and the bitch treats me like some lame ass.

Do yourself a favor- stay away from the sluts, get your life right, and things will work out. At least this is what I'm telling myself now.

Creeper
Link Posted: 5/14/2004 5:34:07 PM EST
Sp-K,
You said this week is finals, so why not wait 'til school's out and take off for a few days days with her? That way you can see if you enjoy the time together, or if you're just waiting for time to go home. If you've invested three years, put three more days into it and give her a chance say how she feels too.
I'd leave the bad girl completely alone. You're both cheating on someone to be together, so leave it alone unless/until you're both free.
On the "C" deal, my doc just called today and said my PSA came back high, so I gotta see a Urologist June 3rd. Like someone else said, don't freak out until you know something for sure. Actually, don't freak out then either, because it clouds your judgement. Just find out your options and take the best one.
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