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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:40:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 11:46:33 AM EDT by ARDOC]
It was my GFs birthday 2 days ago. I totally ignored the day. Didnt take her out to eat, didnt get her a card or anything. And when she asked about it , I bought her a vaccum cleaner.

Well I had actually got her a new bike. She likes to ride her mountain bike for hours at a time so I got her a very nice one. ON SALE BABY! $517 for a $900 bike! She will never know.


ETA: I do this every year, you would think she would catch on.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:41:13 AM EDT
Nice knowin' ya, pal.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:41:39 AM EDT
Well.........................nothing to add, you're screwed. Of course not by her.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:42:24 AM EDT


You're deep doo doo?

Hi Deep Doo Doo, I'm Goonboss. Nice to meet you.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
She likes to ride her mountain bike for hours at a time...


yeaaaaaahhhhhh, THAT'S what she's doing! hahahahahaha
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:47 AM EDT
You bought her a vacuum cleaner?!!!

Nevermind the whole mountain bike thing, she will never forget this. Ever.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:52 AM EDT
If your relationship is on a level that you are compelled to remember dates, ya prolly should move on.

Hell, I barely remember my OWN birthday.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:45:27 AM EDT
did she hide the pie?
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:45:30 AM EDT
First, I forgot our 5th Anniversary and boy was I in deep shit. However, we are approaching out 14th now so apparently they CAN forgive.

Second, good job on the mountain bike!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:46:24 AM EDT
So what you're really saying is that you'll be available soon eh? Patty
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:46:36 AM EDT
Did she need a vaccum cleaner?

If so, nothing wrong with giving a practical gift for a birthday.
Of course the only sucking going on will be the vaccum cleaner.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:47:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:
So what you're really saying is that you'll be available soon eh? Patty



Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:50:24 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 11:51:59 AM EDT by rkbar15]

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
I bought her a vaccum cleaner.




Did it come with a pie attachment? You're going to need it.

ETA: Crap, Bama beat me to it.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:50:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 11:51:28 AM EDT by ARDOC]
So far, for her last birthdays and Christmas, I got her a lawnmower, a leaf lower, fridge, washer and dryer and a freezer. Oops, forgot the snow blower.

She is still with me so she must love me. She offers pie all the time and its me that declines. Cant help is since I am overworked and overstressed. And remember what I do guys. Thats the last thing on my mind when I come home.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:50:56 AM EDT
She's your girlfriend. It's not like you are commited. I could see her being a little upset if you had vowed to love, honor and obey, but hey, it's just a casual relationship.

Try telling her that and it will make your forgetting her BD seem like a minor event!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:52:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
So far, for her last birthdays and Christmas, I got her a lawnmower, a leaf lower, fridge, washer and dryer and a freezer. Oops, forgot the snow blower.

She is still with me so she must love me. She offers pie all the time and its me that declines. Cant help is since I am overworked and overstressed. And remember what I do. Thats the last thing on my mind when I come home.



I had that same problem when I owned strip clubs, I called it coochie intolerance.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:53:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Pangea:
She's your girlfriend. It's not like you are commited. I could see her being a little upset if you had vowed to love, honor and obey, but hey, it's just a casual relationship.

Try telling her that and it will make your forgetting her BD seem like a minor event!



Holy shit, no. She can kick my ass anytime she wants to. She can ride a bike 50 miles a time, she can lay up a basket ball on me at anytime. She can ride a motorcycle and 4 wheelers. She is tough cookie no doubt. I want to live.

But I like her because I dont have to drag her ass through life. She pulls her weight and helps me when I need it and I help her. I cant stand the women that stands by the door waiting for me to open it for them.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 11:54:56 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MrClean4Hire:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
So far, for her last birthdays and Christmas, I got her a lawnmower, a leaf lower, fridge, washer and dryer and a freezer. Oops, forgot the snow blower.

She is still with me so she must love me. She offers pie all the time and its me that declines. Cant help is since I am overworked and overstressed. And remember what I do. Thats the last thing on my mind when I come home.



I had that same problem when I owned strip clubs, I called it coochie intolerance.



Absolutely. Thats a very lucrative business by the way, why did you get out? I know there are a lot of headaches but the money just flows in.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:06:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By MrClean4Hire:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
So far, for her last birthdays and Christmas, I got her a lawnmower, a leaf lower, fridge, washer and dryer and a freezer. Oops, forgot the snow blower.

She is still with me so she must love me. She offers pie all the time and its me that declines. Cant help is since I am overworked and overstressed. And remember what I do. Thats the last thing on my mind when I come home.



I had that same problem when I owned strip clubs, I called it coochie intolerance.



Absolutely. Thats a very lucrative business by the way, why did you get out? I know there are a lot of headaches but the money just flows in.



Too much headache with the popo.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:10:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
You bought her a vacuum cleaner?!!!

Nevermind the whole mountain bike thing, she will never forget this. Ever.



+1

Not a bad effort, mind you, but Kneepads & a scrub brush says so much more.

Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:12:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Merrell:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
You bought her a vacuum cleaner?!!!

Nevermind the whole mountain bike thing, she will never forget this. Ever.



+1

Not a bad effort, mind you, but Kneepads & a scrub brush says so much more.




Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:13:18 PM EDT
The sad part is that when she ditches you she's going to take your - I mean, her - snow blower, mountain bike, lawn mower and vacuum cleaner with her.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:45:56 PM EDT

I wondered why she called me out of the blue!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:46:32 PM EDT
Eat at the Y
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:49:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 12:49:27 PM EDT by LWilde]
Was it a Dyson vacuum? If not...your totall SCREWED! Never mind...your screwed anyway! You might as well send me all your guns because you won't be needing them any more...
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 12:51:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Merrell:

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
You bought her a vacuum cleaner?!!!

Nevermind the whole mountain bike thing, she will never forget this. Ever.



+1

Not a bad effort, mind you, but Kneepads & a scrub brush says so much more.



Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:17:00 PM EDT
She has hardwood floors so she wanted this canister vaccum. So no Dyson.

I cant wait for her to come home. I just changed out the pedals to the kind she likes and was riding it around the neighborhood.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:20:46 PM EDT
I thought you were going to say you switched to proctology.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:29:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:
I thought you were going to say you switched to proctology.



No way then I would be the butt of all jokes!
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:36:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By out-a-ammo:
I thought you were going to say you switched to proctology.



No way then I would be the butt of all jokes!



.......but you would finally quit biting your nails.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:38:54 PM EDT
you were saving the 'hi-lite' for tonight right? like a vibrating bicycle seat? and enjoy her gleaming smile as she peddles on
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:40:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 1:41:50 PM EDT by NFBBM]

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
It was my GFs birthday 2 days ago. I totally ignored the day. Didnt take her out to eat, didnt get her a card or anything. And when she asked about it , I bought her a vaccum cleaner.
Well I had actually got her a new bike. She likes to ride her mountain bike for hours at a time so I got her a very nice one. ON SALE BABY! $517 for a $900 bike! She will never know.


ETA: I do this every year, you would think she would catch on.




<ARDOC> "Honey, does this mean we're not going to have sex?"

<DOC's G/F> "Not at all Babe, we're just not having it with each other."
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:47:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 1:48:49 PM EDT by Marco]
Sounds like she comes out ahead if you forget. She knows you'll have to buy her something extra nice if she lets you roll in the guilt She's smart to keep her mouth shut and just count the days knowing that as the number goes up so does the value of the gift
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 1:52:59 PM EDT
So how old is she now?
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 2:28:49 PM EDT
Paybacks a bitch. I heard she's getting you tickets to the local "Vagina Monologues". Within a month you'll be wearing a bra and panties underneath your scrubs.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 2:39:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
Paybacks a bitch. I heard she's getting you tickets to the local "Vagina Monologues". Within a month you'll be wearing a bra and panties underneath your scrubs.



You forget I live that hell everyday at work! Gotta love women, God bless them.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 2:51:29 PM EDT
And you are still alive.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:03:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By BallisticTip:
And you are still alive.



I actually got her to stop at a Thai place after work and bring me dinner.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:06:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By BallisticTip:
And you are still alive.



I actually got her to stop at a Thai place after work and bring me dinner.



You must be well hunged or have something over this woman?! Patty
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:09:03 PM EDT
[cartman] I'm gonna buy miss ellen a vacuum cleaner, chicks love vacuum cleaners [/cartman]
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:09:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By BallisticTip:
And you are still alive.



I actually got her to stop at a Thai place after work and bring me dinner.



You must be well hunged or have something over this woman?! Patty



Patty, I wish! Kindness and real caring toward her family and her children is the key. Her mother loves me and her kids are great. Her oldest calls me her stepdad even though we are not married. I have found this is the easiest way into a womans heart!

But I must be good, because I can be quite a bastard too.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:16:05 PM EDT
[pinches check] Yes but we all know you're so cute I could pinch you too. [/pinches check]

Patty

*ETA* I hope you made it up to her, she sounds like a very nice woman and good woman deserves to be treated special on her birthday.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 3:33:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/5/2005 3:33:41 PM EDT by rkbar15]

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By rkbar15:
Paybacks a bitch. I heard she's getting you tickets to the local "Vagina Monologues". Within a month you'll be wearing a bra and panties underneath your scrubs.



You forget I live that hell everyday at work! Gotta love women, God bless them.



Living hell is an understatement. I'd like to know who decided it was a good idea for the husband to be in the delivery room. If I ever catch up with that dumb sumabitch I'll cut his nutz off.
Link Posted: 8/5/2005 6:51:28 PM EDT
I had to send more then one dad to the ER. One dad's head hit the floor so hard it sounded like a bowling ball. Split his noggin wide open. Bled more then his wife.

Well, she took the bike for an hour ride already. She loves the thing. It was like going from a chevette to a corvette. She already has plans to go for a morning ride.
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