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Posted: 10/11/2002 6:33:16 AM EST
If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece: [b]Megan, age 4[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart5.jpg[/img] First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. [b]F[/b] [b]Kyle, age 8[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart4.jpg[/img] You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor. [b]F[/b] [b]Lisa, age 6[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart3.jpg[/img] Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears. [b]F[/b] [b]Cameron, age 4[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2.jpg[/img] Terrible. [b]F[/b] [b]Bryce, age 10[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart1.jpg[/img] This one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... [b]F[/b] [b]Jon, age 8[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2_4.jpg[/img] Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. [b]F[/b] [b]Rachel, age 7[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2_2.jpg[/img] That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. [b]F[/b] [b]Jason, age 6[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2_3.jpg[/img] This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. [b]F[/b] [b]Seth, age 4[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2_5.jpg[/img] Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! [b]F[/b] [b]Kelly, age 9[/b] [img]http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/crapart2_1.jpg[/img] This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? [b]F[/b]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:37:46 AM EST
ROTFLMAO. Remind me not to post my kid's drawings.
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:42:31 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:44:46 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:46:26 AM EST
I couldn't help myself...I had to post it! [peep]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:47:58 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 6:48:16 AM EST
funniest thing i'v seen in a while
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:11:50 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:12:39 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:21:39 AM EST
ROTFLMAO If you [smoke] too much doob, it will make you go [whacko] . Remember, leave the medicating to the professionals [;)]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:25:24 AM EST
Hilarious... that just made my day
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:27:06 AM EST
Your just not sophisticated (or medicated) enough to appreciate great art. You probably don't "get" Dali either.LOL Phunny stuff chimbo
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:31:26 AM EST
Man, I have NOT laughed this hard in a long time! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:45:27 AM EST
Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:51:07 AM EST
Holy Cr@p! I laughed so hard I cried! Good job my man! [beer]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 7:55:19 AM EST
Originally Posted By DevilsAdvocate: Man, I have NOT laughed this hard in a long time! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yep, wiping tears here. Badly needed laugh. Thanks! [img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/biggrin2.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 8:13:34 AM EST
I think you need to citique another set for us.
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:09:47 AM EST
Dear God, that was the funniest thing I've read in a while! You are one sick, twisted, funny motherfvcker, Chimbo!
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:15:17 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/11/2002 9:19:40 AM EST by SteyrAUG]
I feel much, much better now. LMAO. However, your effort at covert plagurism gets a....... [b]F[/b] [:D] [url]http://maddox.jadebuddha.com/irule.html[/url]
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:18:36 AM EST
I don't know if it's because I didn't get to sleep last night....not even to lay down....doing work all night...and still have hours left But that cracked me up! I want to sleep
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:27:20 AM EST
BUSTED! Caught in the act! BigDozer66
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:29:19 AM EST
Now THAT is fukin funny!!!
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:42:45 AM EST
Originally Posted By SteyrAUG: I feel much, much better now. LMAO. However, your effort at covert plagurism gets a....... [b]F[/b] [:D] [url]http://maddox.jadebuddha.com/irule.html[/url]
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Actually, I didn't mean to imply that it was mine, but I guess I never said it wasn't...I'm not nearly clever enough to write that stuff! I received it as an MS Word doc this morning, and I've read it at least 6 times, laughing the whole time.
Link Posted: 10/11/2002 9:47:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 1/6/2003 8:40:14 AM EST
BTT for those who might need a laugh today.
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