"I finished before you in the human race"
"You're standing on my head"
"SO and so, ever unconvinced there is life before death.."
"Here lies Pete, who loved his meat, a feast for worms, his flesh they eat."
"Anyone want to swap places?"
"I'm dead. Happy now?"
"Study in decomposition"
"Thank you and goodbye"
"Anonymous. We'll never forget you."
"John and Jane Doe - inseparable before the accident, moreso after." (for a single grave )
" John Doe, Atheist. All dressed up and nowhere to go."
"Many thanks for wiping your feet."
"My family paid the stonemason five dollars for the headstone. What did I expect?"
"Here lies John Doe. Now he is gone, he doesn't seem so bad."
"John Doe lies here, missed by none, mourned by less. We are glad you are gone."
"Holy shit! It's darker than I thought."
"No idiot can hold his breath for ten minutes."
"And to prove I could take it with me, the ashes of my money are buried with my corpse. HAH!"
"What are you looking at?"