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Posted: 8/19/2004 9:01:51 AM EST
I have a co-worker who has been working with me for past 2 years. Not only is she a hotty, but she is an extremely nice gal. I'd love to have a personal relation with her.

Only 'problem' is that she has been going out with 35 years old guy for past 5 years (she's 26), and refers to guy as one she is planning to marry. I am her superior (I am 26years old, and a manager, she in sales). what would be best way to go about dating a woman who had a long term relation ship with an other man? While not jeopardizing my work relatioinship?

Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:03:32 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:04:11 AM EST
I'm not touching this, her, or you!
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:04:19 AM EST
If she is serious about that other guy ... LEAVE IT ALONE !
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:04:41 AM EST
Don't shit where you eat.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:05:07 AM EST
Are you a scumbag? Just a hunch.....
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:05:36 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/19/2004 9:09:32 AM EST by Treadhead]

Originally Posted By shotar:
Lawsuit waiting to happen.



Yeah, I don't think it's possible to have a relationship with her without putting yourself (And your job) at ALL sorts of risk.

Besides that, when the Ex' storms into work to talk with her about THEIR relationship and YOU'RE there?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:05:37 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:06:12 AM EST
Don't get your "bread" and your "honey" from the same "hole."
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:06:16 AM EST
Read your How To Be A Manager handbook again Skippy. It says somewhere in there don't shit in your nest. How did you get to be a manager if your as stupid as you appear to be in this post?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:06:40 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/19/2004 9:07:22 AM EST by Brisk322]
No good can come of this.

Say nothing to her about it, ever.

If you say anything, you will cause her to believe she has two options:

1. Say "yes" to you, keeping her job but losing her boyfriend.
2. Say "no" to you, keeping her boyfriend but losing her job.

A gentleman would not put a lady in such a position.

edit - missed the "w" key...
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:07:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By arowneragain:
Are you a scumbag? Just a hunch.....



I wouldn't say he is a scumbag just because he likes a girl at his work, but there are too many things that can get fucked up.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:07:37 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:08:02 AM EST

Originally Posted By Brisk322:
No good can come of this.

Say nothing to her about it, ever.

If you say anything, you will cause her to believe she has to options:

1. Say "yes" to you, keeping her job but losing her boyfriend.
2. Say "no" to you, keeping her boyfriend but losing her job.

A gentleman would not put a lady in such a position.



The fact that the question was asked in the first place pretty much made that a moot point....
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:08:16 AM EST

Originally Posted By arowneragain:
Are you a scumbag? Just a hunch.....



+1
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:09:28 AM EST
Well, Gentlemen, I am neither scumbag nor dishonorable.

Just frustrated over the situation, you know how it is.

I guess I will remain honorable, and try to be nice.

So, what happens if it works other way? Say she was hitting on me? Is it risky as well?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:10:02 AM EST
good rule to follow:
don't shit where you eat.


going to work will be a real treat for you if do finally manage to hit that and then she doesn't want to see you anymore or if you two are arguing over something. i learned this the hard way a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
mp
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:10:30 AM EST
Not a good idea for many reasons.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:10:37 AM EST
Please tell me you are joking......
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:12:01 AM EST

Originally Posted By mppppp:
good rule to follow:
don't shit where you eat.


going to work will be a real treat for you if do finally manage to hit that and then she doesn't want to see you anymore or if you two are arguing over something. i learned this the hard way a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
mp




I made it a little bigger maybe he will see it now


This is Rule #1 in the workplace
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:12:07 AM EST

Originally Posted By arowneragain:
Are you a scumbag? Just a hunch.....





That made me spit my coffee all over my monitor...
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:12:11 AM EST
Trying to take someone that you know is in a committed relationship is just plain WRONG. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it.

It's one thing if she's obviously unhappy or looking to get out of her current relationship, then you can put yourself in contention, but to even THINK about interfering with a good one is just chicken shit in the extreme.

The fact that you supervise this woman makes it doubly so.

You are treading on VERY thin ice here.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:13 AM EST
Don't get mess with meat where you make your bread.

Its a good rule in both cooking and on the job.



Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:14 AM EST
There's a great bumper sticker you need.

"No matter how fine she is, somewhere there's someone that's sick of her $hit"

Obviously since you are single you have never had a relationship that worked or you wouldn't be single. Right? So with a 0% track record of sucessful relationships do you really want to take this chance? Just my opinion...

Now if she's a flirt and you think she wants a little action on the side... it's your Manly duty to hit it, record it, and show her 35 year old the pictures... with time stamps... that way he know's what he's getting into.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:23 AM EST
We need pics before we can make any suggestions.

Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:24 AM EST


Woo hoo , let us know how that sexual harassment refresher course was the second time around

Don't get your meat where you get your bread
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:33 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:37 AM EST
DUDE - ARE YOU INSANE ?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:40 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:13:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By doctorhumbert:
Well, Gentlemen, I am neither scumbag nor dishonorable.

Just frustrated over the situation, you know how it is.

I guess I will remain honorable, and try to be nice.

So, what happens if it works other way? Say she was hitting on me? Is it risky as well?



"I'm sorry, <name>. I appreciate your interest in me, but please understand our professional relationship puts anything else out of the question. If there's nothing else you wanted to talk about, let's agree never to bring this up again."
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:14:26 AM EST
This is why 26 year-olds shouldn't be managers of anything.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:14:36 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:15:43 AM EST

what would be best way to go about dating a woman who had a long term relation ship with an other man?


Christ are you lame - First, buddy up with the guy, and now here are the 5 essential elements to finalize his demise:
  • Hookers
  • Hotel Room
  • Jose Cuervo
  • Digital Camera
  • Anonymous e-mail account


Or am I going to have to hold your hand all the way through this?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:17:12 AM EST
Are you insane?
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:18:05 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:18:37 AM EST
Daily Cold Showers.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:20:42 AM EST
I've got bad news for you. She's only nice to you because there's no romantic interest...
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:20:51 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:21:15 AM EST
Guys like you are what make certain other guys want to kill. If she is serious about someone else leave her alone, unless she is coming on to you. Otherwise show some respect for her relationship.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:21:25 AM EST
I once had to kill a guy because he attempted to do the same thing you are thinking about to my woman. Trust me, it can end up much worse than an uncomfortable work situation.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:22:11 AM EST
There is only one way for this to end, and that's badly.

Your ass will be grass, and either she or your boss will be the lawnmower!! Sexual harassment suites are damn near imp0ssible to walk away from with your reputation intact. Even if you didn't technically do anything "wrong", your career termination light will be going into overdrive.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:30:07 AM EST
[Last Edit: 8/19/2004 9:30:43 AM EST by KBL]
Ummm....I think the concensus here is DON"T DO IT!!

There are lots of fine looking women out there that aren't surrounded by a mine field. Find one of them and leave this one alone.

Put yourself in the other guy's situation. What would you do if you were he and someone in your girlfriends office was trying to screw around with her? It may happen to you some day.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:31:32 AM EST
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:31:53 AM EST

Originally Posted By Dolomite:

what would be best way to go about dating a woman who had a long term relation ship with an other man?


Christ are you lame - First, buddy up with the guy, and now here are the 5 essential elements to finalize his demise:
  • Hookers
  • Hotel Room
  • Jose Cuervo
  • Digital Camera
  • Anonymous e-mail account


Or am I going to have to hold your hand all the way through this?




I think I just sharted. LOL]
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:33:10 AM EST
hey if it all goes foul you can switch to managing the mcdonalds on the otherside of town right?

Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:35:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By KBL:
...Put yourself in the other guy's situation. What would you do if you were he and someone in your girlfriends office was trying to screw around with her? It may happen to you some day.



BINGO! If she'll leave him for you, odds are she'll leave you for someone else. And that's even pretending the work situation isn't an issue (which it most definitely IS).
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:36:29 AM EST
You sir, are why I have a "nannycam" in my girlfriend's cubicle. and car. and bathroom.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:38:52 AM EST
I'm still waiting for the "Stick her in the pooper and post pix"


- BUCC_Guy


Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:40:28 AM EST

Originally Posted By NorCal_LEO:
You sir, are why I have a "nannycam" in my girlfriend's cubicle. and car. and bathroom.



Gee, you guys have access to all the fun stuff...
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:43:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By NorCal_LEO:
You sir, are why I have a "nannycam" in my girlfriend's cubicle. and car. and bathroom.



Are you worried about her and the nanny doin it? Sweeeeet!!! Oh, and post the vid.
Link Posted: 8/19/2004 9:43:53 AM EST
You are her supervisor? You must be fucking CRAZY to be thinking this up.

Pay attention...don't shit where you eat. Leave her alone. If you pursue her, you will only create a terrible situation and hurt her and ruin any further chance at her contiuing as an employee. You'll also destroy your career as soon as YOUR boss finds out and, plus you'll also hurt your company and your fellow employees when people begin to leave because of the problems you're going to cause.

Finally, Mr. 35 just may take exception to your advances too and bust up your body real bad.

Leave her alone.

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