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Posted: 10/5/2005 12:46:53 PM EDT
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:49:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/5/2005 12:50:08 PM EDT by akethan]
Man this is a gross looking booger.

or


I think I just sharted.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:49:35 PM EDT
I read the title and was going to post the answer.

doesn't look like i have to now
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:57:53 PM EDT

I am usually already taking a dump when I answer it. They are used to it.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:58:25 PM EDT



how about trying that button on you phone. the one that says, "off".


Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:58:30 PM EDT
"I gotta go throw a wicked shit!"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 12:59:08 PM EDT
Just hang up.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:00:56 PM EDT
"I gotta go give birth to a Feinstein."
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:02:27 PM EDT
"Keep talking, I'm about to nut. Almost... almost..."
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:02:34 PM EDT
"Your sister is pretty hot."
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:02:37 PM EDT


If that doesn't work, ask them if they mind if you masturbate while they talk


Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:03:37 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/5/2005 1:05:10 PM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:

If that doesn't work, ask them if they mind if you masturbate while they talk





Then ask her to talk like a Pirate

"HARRRRRRRRRR!"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:04:25 PM EDT
I say acting all excited "Oh Yeah, I been meaning to tell ya....you're boring me now! Get off my phone"

They will laugh and if you do it enough times they will try to say it to you before you can say it to them.

Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:04:33 PM EDT
Just talk dirty to her! I thought you were asking how to get her OFF.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:06:51 PM EDT
You're not saying anything interesting! Good-bye!

-Foxxz
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:09:52 PM EDT

"Hey, let's meet at the mall!"

Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:16:44 PM EDT
My parents said I can borrow the car and come over and see you.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:20:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:34:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it. hr


Doesn't work. They seem to think you're obligated to hold it until they are done talking at you.

Saying you're jerking off doesn't work either. And you better not say you're looking at pictures of other girls.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:38:41 PM EDT
no shit i have afew best freinds that are girls,, when we were in HS and just outta hs. they would want to talk my damn ear off even ifi t was long distnace about useless shit.. id just flat out say,, so.. all this talking and stuff whneya gonna suck my cock......... then id get the well yeah... ok.. ill talk with ya later....... other times it made the phone call's interesting!
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:39:46 PM EDT
"Shit gotta go my wife just got home"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:40:16 PM EDT
Dude, don't even tell her that you need to take a dump. Just go to the bathroom, drop trou and have at it. You probably won't have to talk to her on the phone ever again.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:45:50 PM EDT
Pretend that you are in a pharmacy and ask an imaginary employee where the over-the-counter genital herpes sore cream is.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:46:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/5/2005 1:49:50 PM EDT by ProfessorEvil]

Originally Posted By Gatchaman:

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it.



Doesn't work. They seem to think you're obligated to hold it until they are done talking at you.

Saying you're jerking off doesn't work either. And you better not say you're looking at pictures of other girls.



You're doing it wrong then. It's not "I have to to go #2" it's "I'm going to take a dump." There's a subtle but important difference in the structure of these two phrases that indicates to her. First, sentence A says "I am a wimpy boy, who is proud to let you keep my testicles in a jar on your shelf, and require your permission to do anything remotely not according to your plan for me." Sentence B instead says "I'm a man who is going to go about my business like a man, and I don't need your permission. Instead of putting myself at your control, I make my own destiny. You're along for the ride because I'm letting you be here, and oh yeah...bring over more TP next time you stop by."

Now, try that next time and you should be alright.

On the rare chance she doesn't hang up, go get business done until she does.


Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Dude, don't even tell her that you need to take a dump. Just go to the bathroom, drop trou and have at it. You probably won't have to talk to her on the phone ever again.



Nah, see, I might want to talk to her again. So just suprising her with a half-order of the Hot Karl isn't really what I'm aiming for. Instead I'm trying to get her to stop talking to me on the phone. She should be polite enough to go "Oh, well, I'd better let you go then" and hang up. That way she's not going to be pissed at me for the suprise bomb dropping, and will still booty call me.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:51:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:

Originally Posted By Gatchaman:

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it.



Doesn't work. They seem to think you're obligated to hold it until they are done talking at you.

Saying you're jerking off doesn't work either. And you better not say you're looking at pictures of other girls.



You're doing it wrong then. It's not "I have to to go #2" it's "I'm going to take a dump." There's a subtle but important difference in the structure of these two phrases that indicates to her. First, sentence A says "I am a wimpy boy, who is proud to let you keep my testicles in a jar on your shelf, and require your permission to do anything remotely not according to your plan for me." Sentence B instead says "I'm a man who is going to go about my business like a man, and I don't need your permission. Instead of putting myself at your control, I make my own destiny. You're along for the ride because I'm letting you be here, and oh yeah...bring over more TP next time you stop by."

Now, try that next time and you should be alright.

On the rare chance she doesn't hang up, go get business done until she does.


Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Dude, don't even tell her that you need to take a dump. Just go to the bathroom, drop trou and have at it. You probably won't have to talk to her on the phone ever again.



Nah, see, I might want to talk to her again. So just suprising her with a half-order of the Hot Karl isn't really what I'm aiming for. Instead I'm trying to get her to stop talking to me on the phone. She should be polite enough to go "Oh, well, I'd better let you go then" and hang up. That way she's not going to be pissed at me for the suprise bomb dropping, and will still booty call me.



Its not "taking a dump", it is "wrestling a stink pickle".
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 1:54:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:
Its not "taking a dump", it is "wrestling a stink pickle".



Not every chick is up on the cool manly terms for the bomb drop, so I use one I know she'll understand.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 2:15:23 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:

Originally Posted By Gatchaman:

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it. hr


Doesn't work. They seem to think you're obligated to hold it until they are done talking at you.

Saying you're jerking off doesn't work either. And you better not say you're looking at pictures of other girls.



You're doing it wrong then. It's not "I have to to go #2" it's "I'm going to take a dump." There's a subtle but important difference in the structure of these two phrases that indicates to her. First, sentence A says "I am a wimpy boy, who is proud to let you keep my testicles in a jar on your shelf, and require your permission to do anything remotely not according to your plan for me." Sentence B instead says "I'm a man who is going to go about my business like a man, and I don't need your permission. Instead of putting myself at your control, I make my own destiny. You're along for the ride because I'm letting you be here, and oh yeah...bring over more TP next time you stop by."

Now, try that next time and you should be alright.

On the rare chance she doesn't hang up, go get business done until she does.




In pratice it doesn't matter how you say it or what you say. A modern day broad seems to think you are obligated to hang up when she says so. Doesn't make any statement on your manhood. Any chick that shuts up on command is just extinct.

Unless you are worried about minutes I'd toss the phone in front of a speaker that repeats a sound byte like you are listening.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:38:21 PM EDT
Ask a series of questions:

"Wow, do you EVER shut up?"

"Hey, tell me something...when do you take a breath with all that talking?"

"Oh-My-God...are you STILL talking?"

And just keep asking...eventually they'll get POed and hang up.

Then sit back and laugh.

Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:41:39 PM EDT
WTH???

Caller ID is your friend!


Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:42:12 PM EDT
*click*
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:48:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
WTH???

Caller ID is your friend!





Well, sure...but sometimes you don't mind talking to the person...but then it just goes on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and Damn...that's better.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:54:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Gatchaman:
In pratice it doesn't matter how you say it or what you say. A modern day broad seems to think you are obligated to hang up when she says so. Doesn't make any statement on your manhood. Any chick that shuts up on command is just extinct.



Sorry to break it to you, but you're wrong. And if you don't know why, that's probably why you're letting them walk all over ya, too. Even if you don't realize it.

And no, they aren't extinct. Just hiding.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:55:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:
You: "I'm going to take a dump."

Try it.



Trya pained groan, then "Ooh, I gotta shit babe."

Or you could just say bye.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 3:57:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By RyanAR15:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
WTH???

Caller ID is your friend!





Well, sure...but sometimes you don't mind talking to the person...but then it just goes on...and on...and on...and on...and on...and Damn...that's better.



I know what ya mean:
"Damn! I really need to paint the ceiling!"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 4:10:35 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 4:23:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ProfessorEvil:

Originally Posted By Gatchaman:
In pratice it doesn't matter how you say it or what you say. A modern day broad seems to think you are obligated to hang up when she says so. Doesn't make any statement on your manhood. Any chick that shuts up on command is just extinct.



Sorry to break it to you, but you're wrong. And if you don't know why, that's probably why you're letting them walk all over ya, too. Even if you don't realize it.

And no, they aren't extinct. Just hiding.



I wish I was wrong old timer. You've been watching too many old westerns. But by all means show me how it's done. Just take before and after pictures of your car.
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 7:30:43 PM EDT
I always say that my phone is going dead...
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 7:42:14 PM EDT
"My hooker is here.. cya"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 7:54:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/6/2005 4:50:23 AM EDT by PeteCO]

Originally Posted By mjohn3006:

Its not "taking a dump", it is "wrestling a stink pickle".



OR,

Burning a Mule
Deploying a sewer probe
Making a toilet trout
Having an unplanned rectal abortion
Taking a grumpy gringo
Taking the Browns to the Superbowl


Link Posted: 10/5/2005 10:19:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By cmjohnson:

The results will be interesting.


CJ

.



HMMM... Could be! LOL!
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 10:36:21 PM EDT
How about??

"Blowing it out"
"Dropping the kids off"
"I gotta jumper ready to go" "Jumper banging on the backdoor"
"clearing a log jam"
"I have to meditate"
"Catch up on my reading"
"Visit the stink lodge"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 10:42:36 PM EDT
If you didn't care about seeing or talking to her again you could veeeeeeeerrrrrryyy gently hang up so she's still talking and doesn't know you decided to hang up.

If you do want to hear from her again, just very quickly say "Baby, I'm prairie-doggin' here, and I gotta go before it comes out in my pants!"
Link Posted: 10/5/2005 11:10:18 PM EDT
"The Notebook" and "Bridges of Madison County" are coming on, and I have to run out to the store real quick and buy a box of kleenex --- talk to you later.

---I will never watch these movies, but I'll wager it will get a woman off of the phone---
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 4:22:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By jkstexas2001:
"The Notebook" and "Bridges of Madison County" are coming on, and I have to run out to the store real quick and buy a box of kleenex --- talk to you later.

---I will never watch these movies, but I'll wager it will get a woman off of the phone---



Not before she asks if Epsilon is on his way over.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 4:41:36 AM EDT
I'd like to keep talking to you *name*, but I really should go.

But call her the wrong name.

Link Posted: 10/6/2005 4:48:23 AM EDT
hmm usually i'm on the cell, so hitting one of the menu buttons makes a beep, so I just say the phone is about to die.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 5:37:46 AM EDT
The gopher is coming out of his hole.
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:20:13 AM EDT
Calmly say,

"you may leave your message at the dial tone"
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:22:47 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:30:05 AM EDT
I usually get them to end the conversation by pissing them off. It works wonders.

Her: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..." (continue for 20 minutes)
Me: "Yeah, OH!, did you hear (something of a completely different subject having nothing to do with her blathering)???"
Her: "Were you listening to me?"
Me: "Uh, sure"
Her: "What did I just say?"
Me: "Um, something about some goats and a lawn gnome and..."
Her: "WHAT!? So you weren't listening?"
Me: "Hm... I guess not."
Link Posted: 10/6/2005 7:30:57 AM EDT
I'm getting a turtle head

or

Doc says my herpes are spreading much slower than earlier predicted.
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