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Posted: 6/16/2009 3:30:25 AM EST
Spoke with an acquaintance over the weekend and it appears that a mutual friend has gotten himself into a bit of a fix.

* WARNING * This story involves infidelity, alcoholism, gambling, drugs and a woman who switched teams. Sensitive readers may want to stop reading here .

Disclaimer: I am not involved with any of this, although train wrecks of this sort are a strong incentive to keep one single...

So this acquaintance, some years ago, gets a surprise when his wife declares she is switching teams, and moves out with her new g/f.

One can only speculate how this affects someone, getting dumped for another guy is one thing, for another woman? who knows.

Any way, this fellow starts seeing a woman at work, who is separated from her husband, or maybe divorced, or maybe just cheating. This is 2nd hand scoop, so forgive the haziness of details. Anyway, she winds up moving in with him, they party it up, and both wind up losing their jobs due to excessive absenteeism from work (from the partying)

Fast forward a few years. This new g/f has gone through 3 or 4 jobs by this point. They were both on unemployment for the max period. Oh, I should mention she is NOT hawt. Their house and property have gone to seed, and there are now at least two dogs and three cats running around the place. Which is not well maintained. Friends and neighbors have stopped visiting. Over the New Years Holiday, the g/f makes a bit of a scene at a neighbors party by nearly passing out. Completely incoherent trashed. Mind you this woman is ~50 years old. Think the guy is a couple years younger. Maybe 47-48 or so. So after he takes her back home, the guy returns to the party and winds up getting friendly with a newly separated woman who is way WAY better than the old bat he is stuck with. Did I mention the drugs? Apparantly the old g/f was doing a bit of the pain pills thing. Buying them and snorting them. And the alcohol? Bottle of Jack. A day. Then there is the little gambling thing. $20 a day on numbers and sports pools. That people know about. Maybe more on the side. Well this woman is apparantly supposed to be paying the bills. Uh oh. Maybe not all of them. Property taxes are three years past due.

So this fellow starts seeing the new woman on the side, the old one is getting more erratic and winds up stalking the new g/f and going to her private country club (when she was out with co-workers). And on and on...

Nobody wants this old loon around, but she is in his house.

So the question for the hive mind: what should this guy do to 'encourage' her to move on and move out?


Stuff I have thought of advising already: (no he doesn't have any guns in his house, dammit, because I would buy them for a dollar)

Check all his bills to see what else she hasn't been paying

Run credit reports on himself and her

Check the computer for stuff she might have been doing - online gambling? who knows (he is an IT guy, I am not so can't offer specifics)


Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.



Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:33:06 AM EST
Easy:

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:34:07 AM EST
It's his house. How can he eject her?
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:35:35 AM EST
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:38:13 AM EST
The curb. Kick it there.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:38:47 AM EST
Pepper Spray is a pretty good way of saying 'I don't love you any more'.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:40:51 AM EST
Trash pickup has certain rules on what can be left curbside. Don't think they would take her.

She has been there a few years (can't say how many for sure, maybe 5 or 6?)

At what point can someone no longer kick someone out? And how do you do that with a bunch of animals and stuff?

Any ways to 'convince' someone to GTFO?
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:41:28 AM EST
Pics or it didn't happen -


Give her 30 days or less to vacate premises. Call the boys in blue to escort her if she becomes combative and do not engage or partake in any arguments.






Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:42:03 AM EST
If it's his house, he can throw her out. If her name's not on the mortgage/lease, then it's see ya later!
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:42:19 AM EST
Paging Jerry Springer.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:43:19 AM EST
Originally Posted By Lancair:
Pepper Spray is a pretty good way of saying 'I don't love you any more'.


I'm in agreement with Lancair.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:44:20 AM EST
Your OP was painful to read.

Easiest way is to move out if he rents.

If he owns the place, turn the electricity and water off. She won't hang around long without a shower and AC.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:46:16 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:46:55 AM EST
Move the new girlfriend in? One of my dad's friends pulled this one. Was tired of the old GF, so he just moved the new one in. The old one moved pretty quick after.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:47:45 AM EST
Originally Posted By shootemup:
Your OP was painful to read.

Easiest way is to move out if he rents.

If he owns the place, turn the electricity and water off. She won't hang around long without a shower and AC.


He does own the place. Not sure that lack of showering would be an issue. She is NASTY.

General consensus is she wouldn't move out until she finds something better and she ain't gonna find anything better.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:49:31 AM EST

Originally Posted By Thuban:
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free




Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:50:09 AM EST
Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
...


Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.




Whatever new GF he ends up with will also be a disaster. That's the kind of person he's drawn to.


The mutual friend (who is filling me in on all the good scoop! ) is best friends with the new g/f and have actually met her. Very together person. Professional career.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:50:10 AM EST
Originally Posted By NYR1994:
If it's his house, he can throw her out. If her name's not on the mortgage/lease, then it's see ya later!


Not so in FL. If she has one envelope from a bill or letter addressed to her at that address, guess what, she lives there and if she plays her cards right, it can take 6 months to get rid of her. If the cops show up and she flashes a drivers license with that address on it and says shes worried about her safety, they will throw his ass out of his own house for 24 to 48 hrs until things cool off.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:50:51 AM EST
Originally Posted By guns762:
Move the new girlfriend in? One of my dad's friends pulled this one. Was tired of the old GF, so he just moved the new one in. The old one moved pretty quick after.


That's hysterical.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:51:45 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 3:56:34 AM EST
Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
...


Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.




Whatever new GF he ends up with will also be a disaster. That's the kind of person he's drawn to.


The mutual friend (who is filling me in on all the good scoop! ) is best friends with the new g/f and have actually met her. Very together person. Professional career.


Then my next guess is that her interest in him will soon wane.


You could be right on that.

I think the guy losing his wife to another woman really messed him up. He started dating the current live-in and everyone was like 'WTF'???

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:00:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 4:00:18 AM EST by DK-Prof]
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:03:04 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 4:04:52 AM EST by Bubbles]
Originally Posted By Merrell:
It's his house. How can he eject her?


She's lived there long enough that it will require formal eviction proceedings; basically the same process that a landlord has to use for a deadbeat tenant. The process will vary by state.

ETA: Cutting off the utilities is illegal in many states. So is putting her stuff on the curb.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:05:56 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 4:08:34 AM EST by deanald2pt0]
Next time she gets into one of those passed out moments, take her to the hospital tell them she ate a bunch of pills and that she's a danger to herself and others... That should buy you a few hours, right?

Call friends, pack all her stuff up, leave it on the front porch, change the locks.

Animal control will come pick up the cats and dogs.

Or.

SSS

ETA:

In on 1

Or just tell her to pound sand.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:06:12 AM EST


+




Passed out, no money, no I.D. one way ticket to Vegas. Problem solved.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:06:39 AM EST
Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
...

I think the guy losing his wife to another woman ...



That happened to my brother.

Not only did his wife leave him (and take the kids), but she told him that HE turned her gay.





I met his 1st wife a couple of times, suppose I should have sensed it, hair a little short, not much makeup, drove a Jeep (Cherokee I think, next best thing to a Subaru) a little on the big side, kept the house IMMACULATE.

Did I mention the live-in g/f was running up the ex-wife's credit cards and got busted (by the ex-wife) for it and they had to re-fi their house to pay off debts?



Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:07:44 AM EST
So IN on one!!!!

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:08:51 AM EST
If he lives in FL he can file for ejection from his property if his name is the only one on it.
He may need to file a Restraining order after she gets the ejection notice, and tries to kill him.
Sell or cancel lease... leave town.
BTDT
If both names on property ... leave town...
Stalkers suck, make sure you are more than a tank of fuel away from them and cease all contact...
or they WILL find you and make your life suck.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:08:52 AM EST
Nuke the house from orbit......its the only way to be sure.

or

burn it down

or

throw all her stuff out in the street.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:18:52 AM EST
oh my gosh, reading about this dude & his live in leech, makes me want to put a pistol in MY mouth!

The only advice I can offer him is a .45 & a shovel!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:26:21 AM EST
After five or six years, the state he lives in may consider them married. In Iowa they would be common-law husband and wife.

Not so easy to tell her to GTFO if she has as much right to be there as he does.

Moving the new GF in might piss the old GF off enough to leave, but the new GF is going to be spending a lot of time thinking "WTF was this guy thinking" regarding the old GF and probably decide to bail before the old GF does.

I love these threads. Makes my screwy life seem so normal and mainstream.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:32:15 AM EST
Apparently this one is buying pills in a local bad part of town. One neighbor saw her with a nose full of white powder and it wasn't from doughnuts.

Did I mention she wrecked his truck?


Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:35:36 AM EST
Save a little cash. Take out a small loan if credit isn't totally trashed. Take her to Mexico on a "vacation". Get her smashed and shred her passport/drivers license, etc and leave her ass there.

Problem solved.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:50:04 AM EST


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:52:35 AM EST
I really would not know what to say other than this friend needs to reach down in his pants and make sure he has his testicles and penor. After he does that and affirms he is a man, he just needs to sit down and explain that him and the woman in his house are over, blah blah blah, she needs to get out by so and so date, they are finished, through, he is moving on, blah blah blah, dont take shit from that woman that lives there... In the easiest way I can say it: We are done, the relationship is over(no, we cannot be friends), this is my property/residence, I want you out by so and so date(asap) and if you are not out by so and so date your belongings will be moved to the curb.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:55:41 AM EST
Originally Posted By DesuDurDesu:
I really would not know what to say other than this friend needs to reach down in his pants and make sure he has his testicles and penor. After he does that and affirms he is a man, he just needs to sit down and explain that him and the woman in his house are over, blah blah blah, she needs to get out by so and so date, they are finished, through, he is moving on, blah blah blah, dont take shit from that woman that lives there... In the easiest way I can say it: We are done, the relationship is over(no, we cannot be friends), this is my property/residence, I want you out by so and so date(asap) and if you are not out by so and so date your belongings will be moved to the curb.


That echoes what the mutual friend said (but not in such concise terms).
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:57:56 AM EST
* WARNING * This story involves infidelity, alcoholism, gambling, drugs and a woman who switched teams. Sensitive readers may want to stop reading here .


That's not a warning, that's a goddam marketing ploy. (See 4-hour erection clause)
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 4:59:42 AM EST
Originally Posted By fr4th0:
* WARNING * This story involves infidelity, alcoholism, gambling, drugs and a woman who switched teams. Sensitive readers may want to stop reading here .


That's not a warning, that's a goddam marketing ploy. (See 4-hour erection clause)


And it worked!

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:30:32 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 5:36:33 AM EST by Merrell]
Updates: I am trading emails with an 'inside source' so while I have access, any suggestions or questions are welcome.

1) this is in the state of Pennsylvania

2) she has been in his house for 8 years

3) Apparently he put her name on the house along with his 3 years ago (why? I have no idea - eta: looks like a refinance)


Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:44:33 AM EST
I cannot believe that no one has said it:

SSS
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:44:49 AM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
3) Apparently he put her name on the house along with his 3 years ago (why? I have no idea - eta: looks like a refinance)


If her name is on the deed he's fooked. It's her house as much as his.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:48:27 AM EST
Originally Posted By Bubbles:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
3) Apparently he put her name on the house along with his 3 years ago (why? I have no idea - eta: looks like a refinance)


If her name is on the deed he's fooked. It's her house as much as his.


hmmm, so what are some other (LEGAL) ways to nudge someone out?

Did I mention she opened credit cards in his name and her own mother's? (This is real-time scoop I am getting from the inside source, I am like at half the stuff I am hearing) And the Sheriff apparently showed up at one of her former places of work looking for her mother for non-payment of same?

Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:49:51 AM EST
Originally Posted By AJSully421:
I cannot believe that no one has said it:

SSS


Already did, see above...
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:50:53 AM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Spoke with an acquaintance over the weekend and it appears that a mutual friend has gotten himself into a bit of a fix.

* WARNING * This story involves infidelity, alcoholism, gambling, drugs and a woman who switched teams. Sensitive readers may want to stop reading here .

Disclaimer: I am not involved with any of this, although train wrecks of this sort are a strong incentive to keep one single...

So this acquaintance, some years ago, gets a surprise when his wife declares she is switching teams, and moves out with her new g/f.

One can only speculate how this affects someone, getting dumped for another guy is one thing, for another woman? who knows.

Any way, this fellow starts seeing a woman at work, who is separated from her husband, or maybe divorced, or maybe just cheating. This is 2nd hand scoop, so forgive the haziness of details. Anyway, she winds up moving in with him, they party it up, and both wind up losing their jobs due to excessive absenteeism from work (from the partying)

Fast forward a few years. This new g/f has gone through 3 or 4 jobs by this point. They were both on unemployment for the max period. Oh, I should mention she is NOT hawt. Their house and property have gone to seed, and there are now at least two dogs and three cats running around the place. Which is not well maintained. Friends and neighbors have stopped visiting. Over the New Years Holiday, the g/f makes a bit of a scene at a neighbors party by nearly passing out. Completely incoherent trashed. Mind you this woman is ~50 years old. Think the guy is a couple years younger. Maybe 47-48 or so. So after he takes her back home, the guy returns to the party and winds up getting friendly with a newly separated woman who is way WAY better than the old bat he is stuck with. Did I mention the drugs? Apparantly the old g/f was doing a bit of the pain pills thing. Buying them and snorting them. And the alcohol? Bottle of Jack. A day. Then there is the little gambling thing. $20 a day on numbers and sports pools. That people know about. Maybe more on the side. Well this woman is apparantly supposed to be paying the bills. Uh oh. Maybe not all of them. Property taxes are three years past due.

So this fellow starts seeing the new woman on the side, the old one is getting more erratic and winds up stalking the new g/f and going to her private country club (when she was out with co-workers). And on and on...

Nobody wants this old loon around, but she is in his house.

So the question for the hive mind: what should this guy do to 'encourage' her to move on and move out?


Stuff I have thought of advising already: (no he doesn't have any guns in his house, dammit, because I would buy them for a dollar)

Check all his bills to see what else she hasn't been paying

Run credit reports on himself and her

Check the computer for stuff she might have been doing - online gambling? who knows (he is an IT guy, I am not so can't offer specifics)


Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.





So how long have you been seeing the new one?
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:53:16 AM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Spoke with an acquaintance over the weekend and it appears that a mutual friend has gotten himself into a bit of a fix.

* WARNING * This story involves infidelity, alcoholism, gambling, drugs and a woman who switched teams. Sensitive readers may want to stop reading here .

Disclaimer: I am not involved with any of this, although train wrecks of this sort are a strong incentive to keep one single...

So this acquaintance, some years ago, gets a surprise when his wife declares she is switching teams, and moves out with her new g/f.

One can only speculate how this affects someone, getting dumped for another guy is one thing, for another woman? who knows.

Any way, this fellow starts seeing a woman at work, who is separated from her husband, or maybe divorced, or maybe just cheating. This is 2nd hand scoop, so forgive the haziness of details. Anyway, she winds up moving in with him, they party it up, and both wind up losing their jobs due to excessive absenteeism from work (from the partying)

Fast forward a few years. This new g/f has gone through 3 or 4 jobs by this point. They were both on unemployment for the max period. Oh, I should mention she is NOT hawt. Their house and property have gone to seed, and there are now at least two dogs and three cats running around the place. Which is not well maintained. Friends and neighbors have stopped visiting. Over the New Years Holiday, the g/f makes a bit of a scene at a neighbors party by nearly passing out. Completely incoherent trashed. Mind you this woman is ~50 years old. Think the guy is a couple years younger. Maybe 47-48 or so. So after he takes her back home, the guy returns to the party and winds up getting friendly with a newly separated woman who is way WAY better than the old bat he is stuck with. Did I mention the drugs? Apparantly the old g/f was doing a bit of the pain pills thing. Buying them and snorting them. And the alcohol? Bottle of Jack. A day. Then there is the little gambling thing. $20 a day on numbers and sports pools. That people know about. Maybe more on the side. Well this woman is apparantly supposed to be paying the bills. Uh oh. Maybe not all of them. Property taxes are three years past due.

So this fellow starts seeing the new woman on the side, the old one is getting more erratic and winds up stalking the new g/f and going to her private country club (when she was out with co-workers). And on and on...

Nobody wants this old loon around, but she is in his house.

So the question for the hive mind: what should this guy do to 'encourage' her to move on and move out?


Stuff I have thought of advising already: (no he doesn't have any guns in his house, dammit, because I would buy them for a dollar)

Check all his bills to see what else she hasn't been paying

Run credit reports on himself and her

Check the computer for stuff she might have been doing - online gambling? who knows (he is an IT guy, I am not so can't offer specifics)


Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.





Stopped reading right there.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:54:47 AM EST
Sounds like she is his wife, with as much right to live there as he has.

He fucked up thinking he could get free milk forever.
Now he will pay.

Or I could be completely wrong as usual...

He should have made her sign a pre-non-committed-relationship agreement.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:55:01 AM EST
Wait until she goes for a recognition of common law marriage.

The guy is fucked. If he wants out and to get back on his feet, he needs to throw her the fuck out, deal with the financial consequences, or else just disappear.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 5:58:00 AM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
...
Other ideas? He's a good guy and everyone would like to see him ditch this disaster and hook up with the new g/f on a permanent basis.


Whatever new GF he ends up with will also be a disaster. That's the kind of person he's drawn to.


The mutual friend (who is filling me in on all the good scoop! ) is best friends with the new g/f and have actually met her. Very together person. Professional career.


So this guy lives in next worst thing to an abandonded house, with a small zoo, an ugly drug addict, and doesn't pay his bills.
What makes any sense at all about an attractive professional woman wanting to shack up with him?


Link Posted: 6/16/2009 6:00:36 AM EST
Originally Posted By Merrell:
Originally Posted By Bubbles:
Originally Posted By Merrell:
3) Apparently he put her name on the house along with his 3 years ago (why? I have no idea - eta: looks like a refinance)


If her name is on the deed he's fooked. It's her house as much as his.


hmmm, so what are some other (LEGAL) ways to nudge someone out?

Did I mention she opened credit cards in his name and her own mother's? (This is real-time scoop I am getting from the inside source, I am like at half the stuff I am hearing) And the Sheriff apparently showed up at one of her former places of work looking for her mother for non-payment of same?



He'll have to buy her out of her share/equity in the house, if any. Since the refi was three years ago, depending on how much they borrowed, they could be upside down on the loan.

See underlined - he could pressure her to leave in exchange for him not going forward with criminal charges of identity theft against her.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 6:02:07 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/16/2009 6:05:11 AM EST by clement]
If he owns the place why doesn't he just call the cops and tell them he wants her out.

I see this on COPS on TV all the time. *Bonus* if he makes national TV!

Make sure he drinks a couple of beers first, and either wear no shirt or a trashy shirt.
Link Posted: 6/16/2009 6:06:08 AM EST
When I lived in town and couldn't shoot raccoons I'd set my trap and take them out in country a few miles and drop them off.
They eventually found their way back.
I've found that they don't stay away unless ya shoot 'em first.

Of course I've never shared my home with a raccoon, that would be almost as dumb as shacking up with and old drugged out skank.

Why not just tell the bitch to get the fuck out?
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