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Posted: 10/28/2004 4:30:11 AM EST
Im bored of "Hello".

Thinking of:

"Yeah mate"
"Ahoy hoy"
"Goonie goo goo" From Delerious by Eddy Murphy. Its Latino
"Gday" corny though

Any suggestions/thoughts?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:31:54 AM EST
Ahoy hoy sounds great! See how many people get it. I think I'll start, too!
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:32:19 AM EST
"Go ahead caller, you're on the air"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:32:32 AM EST
you could always answer it
"fifty speeking"
or
"fifty's phone"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:32:43 AM EST
"Yeah?"

"What the fuck you want?"

"Captain Bob's Asspirate Lounge!" (guaranteed to make sure no one calls back)

Answer screaming "WHAT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT IS SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT!!!"

Or...you can answer with: "Yello baby...I'm naked under all these clothes...who is this?"

Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:33:46 AM EST
"yeah"
or

"WTF do you want now"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:33:54 AM EST
Bueno?

Pronto?

WHAT!!! (like little john)
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:34:30 AM EST
Speak.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:36:40 AM EST


Viva Bush!
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:39:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/28/2004 4:40:52 AM EST by mjohn3006]
consolidated nitro glycerin, Boom Boom speaking

Or my personal favorite:

City Morgue, you stab it we slab it, if it aint dead, it aint ours.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:40:48 AM EST
Mushy mushy?

Ahoy ahoy?

Bob's Texaco?(My favorite)

Joe's Pool Hall, 8 ball speaking?


ByteTheBullet (-:
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:41:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/28/2004 4:41:46 AM EST by paenutz]
I always use "City Morgue" or somtimes.
"City Morgue, You bag we tag em"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:42:37 AM EST
"You may speak".
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:43:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By paenutz:
I always use "City Morgue" or somtimes.
"City Morgue, You bag we tag em"



City Morgue, you kill em we chill em
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:45:20 AM EST
Mess with their minds: "Is Bob there?"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:46:17 AM EST
'yeah'
or
'lokt'
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:48:45 AM EST
How about "GO!" ?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:49:49 AM EST

Originally Posted By ByteTheBullet:
Mushy mushy?



Do you mean "moshi moshi", the Japanese polite way to answer the phone?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:51:57 AM EST
US Army Field Station Berlin H&S company private Fifty cal speaking how may I help you SIR?

Hows that for a mouthfull!

It was how we had to ansewer the phone back in my army days.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:52:04 AM EST
Directorate? ID#? Password?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:52:34 AM EST
Thy this, it always confuses people....


"telephone!"


Give it a shot.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:55:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By FiftyCalibre:
Im bored of "Hello".

Thinking of:

"Yeah mate"
"Ahoy hoy"
"Goonie goo goo" From Delerious by Eddy Murphy. Its Latino
"Gday" corny though

Any suggestions/thoughts?



I had some serious questions about your proposed responses until I saw you're from Australia.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 4:55:21 AM EST
"You've reached the number you dialed" I use this on my answering machine and cell.

"Your dime, my time"

"Gunowners residence"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:00:12 AM EST

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:

Originally Posted By ByteTheBullet:
Mushy mushy?



Do you mean "moshi moshi", the Japanese polite way to answer the phone?



Yeah, muy speilcecker isnt' by-lengual. sorey.

Is there a Japanese unpolite way?


ByteTheBullet (-:
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:00:17 AM EST
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:00:25 AM EST
When I feel like being an ass, I just say either "Speak" or "You may speak"...
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:01:16 AM EST
Alexander Graham Bell proposed that "Ahoy!" be used to awswer the phone.

Try it! I should be good for a laugh and some freaked out people.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:14:37 AM EST
Joe's crematorium, you kill 'em we grill 'em.
Joe's taxidermy, you snuff 'em we stuff 'em.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:20:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By 50cal:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.



Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:25:10 AM EST
You're in australia so how about

"OOOOY crikey"


"Oooooy whut 'o you want?"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:26:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/28/2004 5:27:22 AM EST by paenutz]

Originally Posted By 50cal:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.



Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:29:03 AM EST
can't beleive nobody's mentioned:

scream out: "A Dingo ate my baby!"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:29:27 AM EST
I am going with just screaming at the top of your lungs


HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP­PPPPPPP



Then hang up. That will get a couple laughs.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:31:29 AM EST
"Good morning (afternoon, evening), USS Kauffman FFG 59, Quarterdeck, this is an unsecure line. How may I help you sir or ma'am?"

or one that I used at my old job:

"Whittier Regional Vocational High School, Student Services, Special Education, forth floor office, SDavid speaking, how may I help you sir or ma'am?" Great way to throw anyone off balance.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:33:04 AM EST
Try this: SooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthCol­oradoBoulevardConoco.
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:33:35 AM EST
Dave's mule barn, which ass would you like to speak to?

Link Posted: 10/28/2004 5:34:02 AM EST
FiftyCalibres summer home. Summer home and summer not.

FiftyCalibres Hall of Fame; who in the hall do you want?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:07:38 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/28/2004 6:10:16 AM EST by Older_Crow]
"Satan here. Who in the hell ya want?"

[lisp]"Peter Pan nursery, Tinkerbell speaking"[/lisp]

"FiftyCalibre's family summer home. Some are out and some might be home. But in any case no one is answering, so leave a message."
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:13:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By Wildweasel:
US Army Field Station Berlin H&S company private Fifty cal speaking how may I help you SIR?

Hows that for a mouthfull!

It was how we had to ansewer the phone back in my army days.



You forgot "this line is unsecure"

McKee Barracks Crailsheim '85-'86
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:19:46 AM EST

Originally Posted By ShamusMcOI:
Speak.



A favorite of mine!
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:19:56 AM EST
"hank's septic service, you dump it we pump it"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:20:48 AM EST
My boss wants me to change my answering machine....it simply says WHAT?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:21:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By 50cal:
Bob's Abortion Clinic
you rape 'em, we scrape 'em
No fetus can beat us.



You beat me to it. Sick, isn't it?
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 6:22:44 AM EST
Another one I've heard:

"Wrigley field. Second Base...."
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 7:50:33 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/28/2004 7:50:54 AM EST by Cape_hunter]
"Cant come to the phone right now, please leave a message............BEEEEEP".
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 7:52:14 AM EST
And the voicemail greeting:
"Hello?............Heeellooooo? Hello?..............Just kidding, leave a message"
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 7:53:09 AM EST
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 7:54:35 AM EST
As soon as you pick up, just state "Wrong number."

Kharn
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 7:56:05 AM EST
LANDSHARK
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 8:01:06 AM EST
One I use sometimes.
"I'm sorry, the number you've dialed has been disconnected. If you feel you've reached this message in error please hang up and try again." then a pause, then say you're there.

Digital
Link Posted: 10/28/2004 8:02:58 AM EST
Answering:

You- "Hi, is Jim there"

<huh?>

"May I speak to Jim, please?"

<There is no Jim here>

"OK, thanks....<click>


Confuses the s#!t out of my mother.
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